"People are spending their whole lives trying to earn what they already have, trying to be worthy of God. You don't get worthy; you are worthy. The only thing that initially separates you from God is the belief that are separate!"(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 35)
When I think of the primary relationships in my life: my wife, my extended family, my friends and God, I realize I've never had to earn anything with them. In life the only thing I really have to earn now is my paycheck.
Those relationships gave me love unconditionally, all waiting for my response.
While it is true that I didn't earn those relationships, I still have to work at maintaining them. I can't take them for granted. The greatest gift though is still that unlike a paycheck or a victory in sports, I didn't have to do much except to be myself, and to believe that I was truly loved.
When I start from a place of worthiness with God, I'm free to do things because I want to and they are the right thing to do. There's no merit badge system with God. The free gift of grace only asks for a positive response. For me that has been to extend that compassion and love to others.
And so ends the year with Richard Rohr. I wish you a Happy and blessed New Year. Tomorrow new year, new author to reflect with. I hope you've enjoyed reading these as much as I've enjoyed writing them.
Blessings,
Ed
Friday, December 31, 2010
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Reflections for 12/30/10
"I cannot prove to you with any kind of logic, or by any bit of philosophy, for example, that this is the word of God, that God exists or that Jesus is Lord. But I call you to step out, trust, love. Say, 'Lord, if you are in fact the Lord, then show yourself in my life and speak to my heart.'"(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 35)
While I don't have too many deep conversations with people about why I believe in God, especially with folk who are not inclined to believe it, I have to admit, I'm not sure I'd have an adequate answer.
I don't believe you can prove the existence of God by quoting the Bible. For me understanding the Bible follows belief in God. I suppose there are folks who read the Bible and then believed, but that wasn't how it worked for me.
I certainly have read a lot of theology over the years, but that didn't lead me to believe in God either. It broadened my appreciation for the way different people have expressed their understandings of God.
To a certain extent I'm just your average run of the mill believer. I try to pattern my life after Christ. I keep my ears, mind and heart open to what God is trying to tell me. I keep my eyes wide open to see the signs of God's presence in almost everything I see.
I don't know if that way of living out my faith will win anyone over to the God that I know through Christ. But it is the only way I know how to be.
Blessings,
Ed
While I don't have too many deep conversations with people about why I believe in God, especially with folk who are not inclined to believe it, I have to admit, I'm not sure I'd have an adequate answer.
I don't believe you can prove the existence of God by quoting the Bible. For me understanding the Bible follows belief in God. I suppose there are folks who read the Bible and then believed, but that wasn't how it worked for me.
I certainly have read a lot of theology over the years, but that didn't lead me to believe in God either. It broadened my appreciation for the way different people have expressed their understandings of God.
To a certain extent I'm just your average run of the mill believer. I try to pattern my life after Christ. I keep my ears, mind and heart open to what God is trying to tell me. I keep my eyes wide open to see the signs of God's presence in almost everything I see.
I don't know if that way of living out my faith will win anyone over to the God that I know through Christ. But it is the only way I know how to be.
Blessings,
Ed
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Reflections for 12/29/10
"We must go to the edges and discover what the questions really are, what true success is, and we must face our own failure."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p.34)
There is a quote from the Apollo 13 Space Mission "failure is not an option." I suppose that when it comes to matters of life and death, failure shouldn't be an option. However in a good chunk of life failure often is a reality.
The longer I avoid failure, the more catastrophic it will be personally. When we've only known success, we won't know how to learn from failure. Watch people who've spent all their lives either always winning, when they actually lose, they do not know what to do.
The only other way to avoid failure of course is to never try at all. Although I would argue that in and of itself is failure. We cannot truly know the right answer, or what success really looks like until we have tried and failed.
As I look back on my own life, I can't even say for sure that I'm batting .500 when it comes to success/failure. What I do know is that I have failed I usually can see quite well what went wrong, and have even from time to time be able to learn and grow from those experiences. There are of course also other failures which will have to remain just that. But knowing what failure looks like, I have a real appreciation for when things truly go right.
Blessings,
Ed
There is a quote from the Apollo 13 Space Mission "failure is not an option." I suppose that when it comes to matters of life and death, failure shouldn't be an option. However in a good chunk of life failure often is a reality.
The longer I avoid failure, the more catastrophic it will be personally. When we've only known success, we won't know how to learn from failure. Watch people who've spent all their lives either always winning, when they actually lose, they do not know what to do.
The only other way to avoid failure of course is to never try at all. Although I would argue that in and of itself is failure. We cannot truly know the right answer, or what success really looks like until we have tried and failed.
As I look back on my own life, I can't even say for sure that I'm batting .500 when it comes to success/failure. What I do know is that I have failed I usually can see quite well what went wrong, and have even from time to time be able to learn and grow from those experiences. There are of course also other failures which will have to remain just that. But knowing what failure looks like, I have a real appreciation for when things truly go right.
Blessings,
Ed
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Reflections for 12/28/10
"There's a phrase that has become common in the world of theology today: The preferential option for the poor. It means God is biased towards the poor, toward those who live in unjust situations. Some people think this is some strange new theology."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 33)
I first heard this term in seminary in the early '90's. It comes out of the liberation theology movement, which my seminary loves.
While I understand what it is saying, I do have some questions. How does this jive with the idea that "God shows no partiality." Of course there are also plenty of places where scripture pushes care for the poor to the forefront. The song of Mary comes to mind.
I understand that some will tune out the notion because it comes to the forefront from Liberation Theology. I'm not quite ready to dismiss it.
I do believe that God points us towards caring for the poor and needy in our midst. I do believe that God also wants us to notice the poverty deep within ourselves, that also needs God.
Blessings,
Ed
I first heard this term in seminary in the early '90's. It comes out of the liberation theology movement, which my seminary loves.
While I understand what it is saying, I do have some questions. How does this jive with the idea that "God shows no partiality." Of course there are also plenty of places where scripture pushes care for the poor to the forefront. The song of Mary comes to mind.
I understand that some will tune out the notion because it comes to the forefront from Liberation Theology. I'm not quite ready to dismiss it.
I do believe that God points us towards caring for the poor and needy in our midst. I do believe that God also wants us to notice the poverty deep within ourselves, that also needs God.
Blessings,
Ed
Monday, December 27, 2010
Reflections for 12/27/10
"St. John was secure , enough in his masculinity and comfortable enough with the community of the twelve male apostles to put his head on the breast of Jesus and not be ashamed or afraid. Most of us would consider that emotionally, if not socially, impossible. We are so homophobic! We're so afraid either within or with without, of what everyone will think if a man ever shows affection for another man."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p.33)
In our society today, one of the biggest culture wars going on revolves around human sexuality. It has certainly been boiling for a long time, but it really has been in the forefront the last 10 to 20 years.
By now most of us know personally someone who is gay or lesbian. It certainly is no longer the "love that knows no name." While there are still folks who are violently opposed to homosexuals, most folks that I've met are more of who really cares.
As the parent of a two teenage boys, I'm not concerned whether they might be homosexual or not. If they are there is absolutely nothing I could do about it, even if I wanted to. They would still be my sons and I would still love them. I would hope that the more virulent homophobia would lessen if they were.
But I do listen to them throw the word "gay" around and I'd like to see them stop.
For my grandparents generation the word gay meant happy. Norman Vincent Peale in his book "The Power of Positive Thinking" wrote about riding on a train and going into the men's shaving car and everyone was having a gay time. When I read that book in my era, it had a different meaning than originally intended. Remember the Flintstones would have "a gay old time." But the word changed. My sons will from time to time say, "that's so gay." What they mean is that they don't like it. I have to keep reminding them that to say something is gay, when you don't mean it sexually but you do mean it negatively is wrong. Find a different word. They do know gay and lesbian people, whom they like and care about. Why would you want to say something that would be hurtful to them.
I do realize that when we are in the midst of a cultural shift, the language we use has to be better thought out. The word "gay" is one example. There are lots of other words being thrown around these days in our debates politically and socially that are just as irresponsible.
Blessings,
Ed
In our society today, one of the biggest culture wars going on revolves around human sexuality. It has certainly been boiling for a long time, but it really has been in the forefront the last 10 to 20 years.
By now most of us know personally someone who is gay or lesbian. It certainly is no longer the "love that knows no name." While there are still folks who are violently opposed to homosexuals, most folks that I've met are more of who really cares.
As the parent of a two teenage boys, I'm not concerned whether they might be homosexual or not. If they are there is absolutely nothing I could do about it, even if I wanted to. They would still be my sons and I would still love them. I would hope that the more virulent homophobia would lessen if they were.
But I do listen to them throw the word "gay" around and I'd like to see them stop.
For my grandparents generation the word gay meant happy. Norman Vincent Peale in his book "The Power of Positive Thinking" wrote about riding on a train and going into the men's shaving car and everyone was having a gay time. When I read that book in my era, it had a different meaning than originally intended. Remember the Flintstones would have "a gay old time." But the word changed. My sons will from time to time say, "that's so gay." What they mean is that they don't like it. I have to keep reminding them that to say something is gay, when you don't mean it sexually but you do mean it negatively is wrong. Find a different word. They do know gay and lesbian people, whom they like and care about. Why would you want to say something that would be hurtful to them.
I do realize that when we are in the midst of a cultural shift, the language we use has to be better thought out. The word "gay" is one example. There are lots of other words being thrown around these days in our debates politically and socially that are just as irresponsible.
Blessings,
Ed
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Reflections for 12/26/10
"We thought solidarity was being nice and affirming, but ultimately it's to stay in there with brokenness and let it lead you where it will, and to be willing to pay the price."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p.32)
Many of you may recall the Solidarity movement in Poland. It certainly was a movement that started the end of the Soviet Block. It was interesting to watch as a younger person from the safety of the American shores as they fought against the government that was oppressing them.
I wouldn't say that I did much beyond admire from afar, however. There are certainly folks that I feel some level of solidarity with in the world today. Folks who are in nursing homes, young people, the poor. Folks for whom my ministry encounters regularly.
But how much of my own comfort zone am I willing to risk on behalf of those folks? Or have I developed a solidarity that is akin to being "with you in prayer." Basically saying I'm not as with you as I could be.
Most of us know where our sympathies and empathy's lie. I wonder how many of us would be willing to risk it all to be in solidarity with those whom the rest of the world wants to ignore or attack?
I do believe that most of us would be there for folks close to us. How far those boundaries can extend is really up to us.
Blessings,
Ed
Many of you may recall the Solidarity movement in Poland. It certainly was a movement that started the end of the Soviet Block. It was interesting to watch as a younger person from the safety of the American shores as they fought against the government that was oppressing them.
I wouldn't say that I did much beyond admire from afar, however. There are certainly folks that I feel some level of solidarity with in the world today. Folks who are in nursing homes, young people, the poor. Folks for whom my ministry encounters regularly.
But how much of my own comfort zone am I willing to risk on behalf of those folks? Or have I developed a solidarity that is akin to being "with you in prayer." Basically saying I'm not as with you as I could be.
Most of us know where our sympathies and empathy's lie. I wonder how many of us would be willing to risk it all to be in solidarity with those whom the rest of the world wants to ignore or attack?
I do believe that most of us would be there for folks close to us. How far those boundaries can extend is really up to us.
Blessings,
Ed
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Reflections for 12/25/10
"The incarnation of Jesus demonstrates that God meets us where we are. It assures us that we do not have to leave the world or relignquish our humanity in order to know God, but simly that we must turn from evil."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p.31)
God meeting me where I am. As someone for whom faith has been a life long adventure, I understand this. As a child God met me in the stories of scripture, in the mystery of worship, in being an acolyte, singing in the choir. Saw that shy little boy, with the coke bottle glasses, who just wanted to be liked, and loved him.
God met me as a teenager, not as a rebel, but as someone who had walls built that needed to be broken down. Who said the image your presenting is not who I called you to be.
God met me in college, and said I'm sending you away from all you've ever known, however, I will give you a faith community and a new set of friends to journey with. And the person I really am started to emerge.
God continues to meet me as an adult. With each new challenge, each change in circumstance, promising that I will be given no task that I cannot handle, and the strength and skill to do it.
Perhaps the greatest Christmas gift for me has always been the presence of God in my life.
Blessings,
Ed
God meeting me where I am. As someone for whom faith has been a life long adventure, I understand this. As a child God met me in the stories of scripture, in the mystery of worship, in being an acolyte, singing in the choir. Saw that shy little boy, with the coke bottle glasses, who just wanted to be liked, and loved him.
God met me as a teenager, not as a rebel, but as someone who had walls built that needed to be broken down. Who said the image your presenting is not who I called you to be.
God met me in college, and said I'm sending you away from all you've ever known, however, I will give you a faith community and a new set of friends to journey with. And the person I really am started to emerge.
God continues to meet me as an adult. With each new challenge, each change in circumstance, promising that I will be given no task that I cannot handle, and the strength and skill to do it.
Perhaps the greatest Christmas gift for me has always been the presence of God in my life.
Blessings,
Ed
Friday, December 24, 2010
Reflections for 12/24/10
"Tonight Jesus enters Bethlehem as a stranger, as refugee, as outsider. Can we make room in our overstuffed inn?"(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p.29)
Today I finished the last of the secular aspects of Christmas, few more presents bought, one last run to the supermarket. Even got a workout in the gym. In a few hours I'll head over to church for the first of two services this evening.
I've always loved Christmas Eve. I love the hymns, the familiar Gospel story. The anticipation of waking up the next morning (though admittedly that is waning).
And as I reflect on all the manic last minute activity I witnessed today, and really that's been going on for a while, it is hard to imagine how we have any room in our inns either.
And yet isn't the real reason for all of this to make room for the Christ. To ponder along with Mary what all these greetings are about. So I'll come tonight and adore him. I'll listen for the Christmas Angels with their great glad tiding to tell. I don't know if it will be a Silent night.
And perhaps in all of the hubub, Christmas will come once more.
Blessings,
Ed
Today I finished the last of the secular aspects of Christmas, few more presents bought, one last run to the supermarket. Even got a workout in the gym. In a few hours I'll head over to church for the first of two services this evening.
I've always loved Christmas Eve. I love the hymns, the familiar Gospel story. The anticipation of waking up the next morning (though admittedly that is waning).
And as I reflect on all the manic last minute activity I witnessed today, and really that's been going on for a while, it is hard to imagine how we have any room in our inns either.
And yet isn't the real reason for all of this to make room for the Christ. To ponder along with Mary what all these greetings are about. So I'll come tonight and adore him. I'll listen for the Christmas Angels with their great glad tiding to tell. I don't know if it will be a Silent night.
And perhaps in all of the hubub, Christmas will come once more.
Blessings,
Ed
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Reflections for 12/23/10
"It takes a prophet of sorts one who has traveled the highway before and remembers everything, to guide us beyond our blind, selective remembering. Choose your friends carefully and listen to those who speak truth to you, who help you remember all things, 'so that you may value the things that really matter, up to the very day of Christ.'(Philippians 1:10)"(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 27)
I certainly am blessed with many friends. All of them are important to me in one way or another. My best friend is of course my wife. There isn't anything I wouldn't tell her, and I'd be hard pressed to think of anything she doesn't know about me. Though I suppose in any marriage, the couple always discovers something new, hopefully it is something positive.
There are also two friends who fit the above description very well. I am able to share with them in ways that I wouldn't normally do. I believe I am able to be the same sort of friend to them as well. We don't have to choose our words carefully when we're together. There is not topic off limits, and I value their opinions and observations.
I also know that my relationship with God is similar in that I can tell God anything. I doubt that God turns to me for advice. But I'm happy that God's ear is lended to me.
Who in your life is that close a friend? Do you have someone who the conversations and presence is truly a two way street? If not where do you turn? Even if we are blessed with that type of earthly friend, if faith is important to us, then God can be that friend also.
As the Christmas season approaches, why not give thanks for those friendships that nurture and sustain us.
Blessings,
Ed
I certainly am blessed with many friends. All of them are important to me in one way or another. My best friend is of course my wife. There isn't anything I wouldn't tell her, and I'd be hard pressed to think of anything she doesn't know about me. Though I suppose in any marriage, the couple always discovers something new, hopefully it is something positive.
There are also two friends who fit the above description very well. I am able to share with them in ways that I wouldn't normally do. I believe I am able to be the same sort of friend to them as well. We don't have to choose our words carefully when we're together. There is not topic off limits, and I value their opinions and observations.
I also know that my relationship with God is similar in that I can tell God anything. I doubt that God turns to me for advice. But I'm happy that God's ear is lended to me.
Who in your life is that close a friend? Do you have someone who the conversations and presence is truly a two way street? If not where do you turn? Even if we are blessed with that type of earthly friend, if faith is important to us, then God can be that friend also.
As the Christmas season approaches, why not give thanks for those friendships that nurture and sustain us.
Blessings,
Ed
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Reflections for 12/22/10
"Memory is the basis of both pain and rejoicing: We cannot have one without the other."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 26)
Last night I went to my son's first dual meet of the wrestling season. My parents were also in attendance. During the match my mom asked me if I missed wrestling. And I had to admit that I did. The memories of it contain both pain and rejoicing.
When I reflect back on that time, I can remember those few times that I actually won a match. I can also remember coming very close to being part of a team that almost won the championship, by the way that is also a painful memory.
I know that if I could go back in time, I would do things very differently, not only with wrestling but with many things. Yet while I can remember the choices that I've made that didn't turn out so good, or were very painful at the time, I can see in hindsight where I've grown from those experiences.
I also know that I have many memories of rejoicing. Where things went very well. Where something occurred that really made me happy.
While both types of memories exist for all of us, which we choose to allow to dominate our presents and to shape our futures. While I won't ignore the painful memories and pretend like they never happened, I won't allow them to dictate who I am. And I will certainly turn back to the good memories, when I'm feeling down.
Blessings,
Ed
Last night I went to my son's first dual meet of the wrestling season. My parents were also in attendance. During the match my mom asked me if I missed wrestling. And I had to admit that I did. The memories of it contain both pain and rejoicing.
When I reflect back on that time, I can remember those few times that I actually won a match. I can also remember coming very close to being part of a team that almost won the championship, by the way that is also a painful memory.
I know that if I could go back in time, I would do things very differently, not only with wrestling but with many things. Yet while I can remember the choices that I've made that didn't turn out so good, or were very painful at the time, I can see in hindsight where I've grown from those experiences.
I also know that I have many memories of rejoicing. Where things went very well. Where something occurred that really made me happy.
While both types of memories exist for all of us, which we choose to allow to dominate our presents and to shape our futures. While I won't ignore the painful memories and pretend like they never happened, I won't allow them to dictate who I am. And I will certainly turn back to the good memories, when I'm feeling down.
Blessings,
Ed
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Reflections for 12/21/10
"{John the Baptist} goes on his vision quest into the desert where he faces his aloneness, boredom and naked self. He returns with a message, a clarity, a surety of heat that reveals a totally surrendered man. First he lsitens long and self-forgetfully; then he speaks, acts and accepts the consequences. Surely he is the ultimate wild man! Or is it wise man? He is both"(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 25)
John the Baptist is not the first Biblical character that I relate to. Camel Hair clothing, eh, I can't even wear a wool sweater without itching. Eating locusts and wild honey, eh, I like to eat, but even I have my limits. A prophetic voice? I've never seen myself in that role.
Looking at what Fr. Rohr says about him, I have a hard time being alone, even when I claim I want to be alone. But perhaps that confrontation is what I need. I do feel alone, not unloved, but alone. I do get bored and have to fight it all the time. And looking at the real me is sometimes more than I can stand.]
Perhaps I avoid those "desert journeys" because I'm afraid of what I might find out. If I listen too long, I might not like what I hear. Would I return from such a journey with a stronger voice, a real desire to act and an abililty to accept wherever the chips may fall.
I'm not nearly as wild and crazy as I sometimes act. I'm not even sure how much wisdom I have to impart, I often think I'm a wise guy in the wrong way. But that "desert time" might show me how to live fully into a wild side that is free without being nuts, and the wise side that is thinking more than speaking.
Blessings,
Ed
John the Baptist is not the first Biblical character that I relate to. Camel Hair clothing, eh, I can't even wear a wool sweater without itching. Eating locusts and wild honey, eh, I like to eat, but even I have my limits. A prophetic voice? I've never seen myself in that role.
Looking at what Fr. Rohr says about him, I have a hard time being alone, even when I claim I want to be alone. But perhaps that confrontation is what I need. I do feel alone, not unloved, but alone. I do get bored and have to fight it all the time. And looking at the real me is sometimes more than I can stand.]
Perhaps I avoid those "desert journeys" because I'm afraid of what I might find out. If I listen too long, I might not like what I hear. Would I return from such a journey with a stronger voice, a real desire to act and an abililty to accept wherever the chips may fall.
I'm not nearly as wild and crazy as I sometimes act. I'm not even sure how much wisdom I have to impart, I often think I'm a wise guy in the wrong way. But that "desert time" might show me how to live fully into a wild side that is free without being nuts, and the wise side that is thinking more than speaking.
Blessings,
Ed
Monday, December 20, 2010
Reflections for 12/20/10
"People are odd creatures: We are at the same time very good and very sinful. These qualities do not cancel each other out. Faith is to live and to hold onto that paradox."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 23)
Sometimes I wish I was just 100% something. I feel like most of my existence is contradiction, though paradox is probably more accurate. There seem to be so many paradoxes with me,that I am often left wondering who I am.
Actually the real problem is that I believe there exists a stereotype of what a priest is. And I'm sure that I don't fit that stereotype. It is probably true for just about any occupation. And when we don't feel the stereotype is us, it gets confusing. Maybe we'll try to become that person, usually with disastrous results.
The healthier approach may be to fully understand the paradoxical nature of being human. It seems that it may be an important component of being made in the image of God.
There are so many paradoxical images of what God is and does, and that's just in the Bible. Yet that very paradox, what seems on the surface to be an inconsistency in Divine, is perhaps what makes God so compelling for me.
If I can live with the paradoxical nature of God, I should probably give myself the same benefit of faith.
Blessings,
Ed
Sometimes I wish I was just 100% something. I feel like most of my existence is contradiction, though paradox is probably more accurate. There seem to be so many paradoxes with me,that I am often left wondering who I am.
Actually the real problem is that I believe there exists a stereotype of what a priest is. And I'm sure that I don't fit that stereotype. It is probably true for just about any occupation. And when we don't feel the stereotype is us, it gets confusing. Maybe we'll try to become that person, usually with disastrous results.
The healthier approach may be to fully understand the paradoxical nature of being human. It seems that it may be an important component of being made in the image of God.
There are so many paradoxical images of what God is and does, and that's just in the Bible. Yet that very paradox, what seems on the surface to be an inconsistency in Divine, is perhaps what makes God so compelling for me.
If I can live with the paradoxical nature of God, I should probably give myself the same benefit of faith.
Blessings,
Ed
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Reflections for 12/19/10
"Sit by the stream, on the edge. Don't let the ego try to fix, control, categorize or ensure any of your experience. The ego wants to ensure that things are significant, that events make us important. Our activities become little righteousness trips, and we stand on our certitude."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p.23)
I have to admit I do spend a lot of time trying to understand my experiences. I certainly try to fix them, usually only mentally, by replaying how I might have done it differently. Pretty much a waste of time and energy, because I can't change those things. I also do like to control my experiences, but that can lead to avoiding an experience I'm supposed to have. And certainly categorizing happens all the time. Something was either fantastic or painful, or some other adjective. It rarely just is.
And that is the invitation that I see myself fighting all the time. Will I ever just live and let live. Can I just enjoy the moment for whatever purpose it was meant to serve. I'd love to believe that everything I do is super important, yet most of it isn't even newsworthy. Perhaps the grand sum of it all will amount to something, but I don't know.
The righteousness trip that I can see myself on is one needing affirmation in what I do. And a belief that I am right in what I do. The problem is I probably won't get nearly any of the affirmation I long for, and in there are even bound to be times that I'm just flat out wrong.
And perhaps if I would give up on all those negative things about experience that the Fr. Rohr speaks of and just live in the moment and enjoy it for what it has to offer at the time, I'd be a lot happier.
Blessings,
Ed
I have to admit I do spend a lot of time trying to understand my experiences. I certainly try to fix them, usually only mentally, by replaying how I might have done it differently. Pretty much a waste of time and energy, because I can't change those things. I also do like to control my experiences, but that can lead to avoiding an experience I'm supposed to have. And certainly categorizing happens all the time. Something was either fantastic or painful, or some other adjective. It rarely just is.
And that is the invitation that I see myself fighting all the time. Will I ever just live and let live. Can I just enjoy the moment for whatever purpose it was meant to serve. I'd love to believe that everything I do is super important, yet most of it isn't even newsworthy. Perhaps the grand sum of it all will amount to something, but I don't know.
The righteousness trip that I can see myself on is one needing affirmation in what I do. And a belief that I am right in what I do. The problem is I probably won't get nearly any of the affirmation I long for, and in there are even bound to be times that I'm just flat out wrong.
And perhaps if I would give up on all those negative things about experience that the Fr. Rohr speaks of and just live in the moment and enjoy it for what it has to offer at the time, I'd be a lot happier.
Blessings,
Ed
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Reflections for 12/18/10
"The only way that we become convinced of our own sense of empowerment and the power of the Spirit and the truth of the Gospel is by crossing a line- a line of decision, testing, risking doing and owning the consequences."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p.22)
The thought of crossing a line is a very frightening one, at least for me. There are of course lines that shouldn't be crossed, but I wonder how many fences I've erected over the years protecting myself against crossing a line that should be crossed.
Often heeding a call involves a lot of decisions, testings, riskings etc. The first decision is always am I willing to risk doing, am I willing to take the test, am I willing to own the consequences. It is usually the onslaught of those questions that stops me in my tracks. I'm not a risk taker, though often I wish I were. I don't like tests. And I sure do not like negative consequences.
But when fear of all of those things keeps me from doing the very things I need to do, I am not living up to my role as a beloved child of God.
We don't live in anything goes world. Thought should be put into most actions. But being afraid to even ask the question and thereby doing nothing, and constantly playing it safe, does nothing except keep us stuck.
Blessings,
Ed
The thought of crossing a line is a very frightening one, at least for me. There are of course lines that shouldn't be crossed, but I wonder how many fences I've erected over the years protecting myself against crossing a line that should be crossed.
Often heeding a call involves a lot of decisions, testings, riskings etc. The first decision is always am I willing to risk doing, am I willing to take the test, am I willing to own the consequences. It is usually the onslaught of those questions that stops me in my tracks. I'm not a risk taker, though often I wish I were. I don't like tests. And I sure do not like negative consequences.
But when fear of all of those things keeps me from doing the very things I need to do, I am not living up to my role as a beloved child of God.
We don't live in anything goes world. Thought should be put into most actions. But being afraid to even ask the question and thereby doing nothing, and constantly playing it safe, does nothing except keep us stuck.
Blessings,
Ed
Friday, December 17, 2010
Reflections for 12/17/10
"We think life is the thing that we've got to protect. Jesus' saying, No, the true self needs no protection. It just is; What we are usually protecting is the repetitive illusions and addictive feelings of the false self." (R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 22)
One of the greatest struggles, at least for me, has always been to see the real me. What is even more interesting as I self examine is to see how little protecting of myself I do.
There is a part of me that is deeply faithful and spiritual, but I don't make a huge display of it. My faith literally just is. I've never sought applause for it, or felt I needed to justify or defend it.
There is a part of me that loves deeply intellectual conversations. But I don't participate so that others will say, boy isn't he smart, but because I enjoy the topics.
There is a part of me that loves to clown around. Mainly because I'd rather have fun, or at least make something mundane enjoyable.
There is also a part of me that's actually shy. That's probably the part that doesn't get out much. I doubt you'd find too many folks who know me who would use that word to describe me.
I've been told that with me what you see is what you get. If that's true I hope I'm showing something positive. But if it's nothing but a wall to keep the real me from being shown, I may want to reevaluate.
Blessings,
Ed
One of the greatest struggles, at least for me, has always been to see the real me. What is even more interesting as I self examine is to see how little protecting of myself I do.
There is a part of me that is deeply faithful and spiritual, but I don't make a huge display of it. My faith literally just is. I've never sought applause for it, or felt I needed to justify or defend it.
There is a part of me that loves deeply intellectual conversations. But I don't participate so that others will say, boy isn't he smart, but because I enjoy the topics.
There is a part of me that loves to clown around. Mainly because I'd rather have fun, or at least make something mundane enjoyable.
There is also a part of me that's actually shy. That's probably the part that doesn't get out much. I doubt you'd find too many folks who know me who would use that word to describe me.
I've been told that with me what you see is what you get. If that's true I hope I'm showing something positive. But if it's nothing but a wall to keep the real me from being shown, I may want to reevaluate.
Blessings,
Ed
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Reflections for 12/16/10
"When we see what the gospel demands of our lives, we may not even want to understand it."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 21)
One of many things that I love about reading the Bible is how I usually will find something new or understand a text in a new way. This is of course because the world in which I live, move and have my being changes. What's going on in my life at the time dramatically impacts what scripture says to me. What might not have been a challenging text 20 years ago, might be just what I need to be confronted by now. Perhaps that's why we say it is a "living word."
I'm also fascinated by how others see scripture and apply it to their lives. The best bible studies for me are the ones where there is a lot of sharing about the text and not me or some other leader telling folks what it means. Another part that's fascinating is to see what people think is truly important in scripture. What are the verses they feel are the be all and end all. That their salvation completely rests on. I then love to point them to some parts of the bible that might actually have something to say to them, and then they don't want the bible telling them what to do. By the way, its usually the ones about money.
Most of us probably would run the other way if confronted by all of scripture and not just the parts we like. Perhaps that's why scripture tells that we fall into the arms of a merciful God.
Blessings,
Ed
One of many things that I love about reading the Bible is how I usually will find something new or understand a text in a new way. This is of course because the world in which I live, move and have my being changes. What's going on in my life at the time dramatically impacts what scripture says to me. What might not have been a challenging text 20 years ago, might be just what I need to be confronted by now. Perhaps that's why we say it is a "living word."
I'm also fascinated by how others see scripture and apply it to their lives. The best bible studies for me are the ones where there is a lot of sharing about the text and not me or some other leader telling folks what it means. Another part that's fascinating is to see what people think is truly important in scripture. What are the verses they feel are the be all and end all. That their salvation completely rests on. I then love to point them to some parts of the bible that might actually have something to say to them, and then they don't want the bible telling them what to do. By the way, its usually the ones about money.
Most of us probably would run the other way if confronted by all of scripture and not just the parts we like. Perhaps that's why scripture tells that we fall into the arms of a merciful God.
Blessings,
Ed
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Reflections for 12/15/10
"Many of our people create for themselves a permanently maintained happiness in the midst of so much public suffering. That state is based on an illusion about the nature of reality. It can only work if we block ourselves from a certain degree of that reality. That's what's meant by denial."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 20)
Generally speaking I consider myself a happy person. On most days I love my family, my job, even myself. There are of course moments when those three create some angst for me, but I muddle my way through.
Now when you compound those days with the onslaught of news and just the regular pastoral crisis' that show up, it is hard to maintain that happiness. I do find that one way to keep my emotional equilibrium is through prayer. I can't solve all the world's problems, but I can ask for the strength to take care of those things which are within my control. What I'm not invited to do is ask to be shielded from the suffering. To have spiritual blinders put on so that I don't have to face the fact that not everything in the world is as it could or should be.
I won't deny that I still see aspects of racism, sexism and heterosexism occurring in sometimes subtle and sometimes not so subtle ways. The question becomes will I have the courage to name these when they occur in my presence, or do I just shrug it off.
Blessings,
Ed
Generally speaking I consider myself a happy person. On most days I love my family, my job, even myself. There are of course moments when those three create some angst for me, but I muddle my way through.
Now when you compound those days with the onslaught of news and just the regular pastoral crisis' that show up, it is hard to maintain that happiness. I do find that one way to keep my emotional equilibrium is through prayer. I can't solve all the world's problems, but I can ask for the strength to take care of those things which are within my control. What I'm not invited to do is ask to be shielded from the suffering. To have spiritual blinders put on so that I don't have to face the fact that not everything in the world is as it could or should be.
I won't deny that I still see aspects of racism, sexism and heterosexism occurring in sometimes subtle and sometimes not so subtle ways. The question becomes will I have the courage to name these when they occur in my presence, or do I just shrug it off.
Blessings,
Ed
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Reflections for 12/14/10
"Whenever you create a society that has to define itself by power and success, there will have to be those who are powerless and non-successful. And that's the vast majority of the people in our society. People in our society are set up to lose." (R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 19)
Go to any Little League Baseball game and you will see plenty of people who have dreams of being a big league player. In just about every walk of life there is a dream that floats just in front of our realities.
If it weren't for a certain level of dreams or fantasies, life would suck. Even in my profession there are levels of achievement that most Episcopal Clergy will never reach. The odds of me becoming a bishop are pretty small. Heck I'm not even sure I'd want to be one, but I won't say I've never thought about it. But if the only measure of a successful ministry was to attain that office, I and 99% of clergy will fail.
This constant comparative world that we live in can ultimately destroy a person. We'll never be as thin as that model. We'll probably not be whatever it is we're holding onto as the ideal.
One of the greatest things we can achieve I believe is a sense of acceptance for who we are, and what are gifts are, and how the world's standards do not have to be ours.
It is not easy to come to that place. Yet when I reflect on the great heroes of scripture and tradition, most of them would not have been seen as potentially successful either.
Blessings,
Ed
Go to any Little League Baseball game and you will see plenty of people who have dreams of being a big league player. In just about every walk of life there is a dream that floats just in front of our realities.
If it weren't for a certain level of dreams or fantasies, life would suck. Even in my profession there are levels of achievement that most Episcopal Clergy will never reach. The odds of me becoming a bishop are pretty small. Heck I'm not even sure I'd want to be one, but I won't say I've never thought about it. But if the only measure of a successful ministry was to attain that office, I and 99% of clergy will fail.
This constant comparative world that we live in can ultimately destroy a person. We'll never be as thin as that model. We'll probably not be whatever it is we're holding onto as the ideal.
One of the greatest things we can achieve I believe is a sense of acceptance for who we are, and what are gifts are, and how the world's standards do not have to be ours.
It is not easy to come to that place. Yet when I reflect on the great heroes of scripture and tradition, most of them would not have been seen as potentially successful either.
Blessings,
Ed
Monday, December 13, 2010
Reflections for 12/13/10
"I'm all for sexual morality, but Jesus does not say that's the issue. In fact, he says the prostitutes are getting into the Kingdom of God before some of us who have made bedfellows with power, prestige and possessions (see Matthew 21:31-32)Those three numb the heart and deaden the spirit, says Jesus." (R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 18)
While I won't say that Jesus didn't have something to say to prostitutes also, I would note that Christians spend an awful lot of spiritual energy worrying about the sexual exploits of others. I'm not sure if it is because we are so morally righteous, probably not. Or if we're just somewhat envious and living vicariously through the lives of others and then get mad when ours doesn't seem so wild.
But I do fully understand the idea that attempting to embrace power, prestige and possessions, is truly draining, numbing and deadly. The games that have to be played to appear to have gotten anywhere exact an amazing toll. It is easy to lose sight of what is truly important, who one's real friends are, and it seems quite easy to lose everything while trying to gain more.
Sometimes in my smaller moments I do wish that I had more power, though admittedly over myself first would be a good place to start. I sometimes wish I was as important as I think I ought to be, while missing and/or ignoring the places where I am valued. And I can get wrapped up in the what I don't have materially, instead of enjoying what I do.
Trying not to get caught up in the pursuit of those "3 P's" is really a spiritual battle. When I'm at peace with myself, I can sense the presence of God, saying, Ed, you don't have it that bad, knock it off.
Blessings,
Ed
While I won't say that Jesus didn't have something to say to prostitutes also, I would note that Christians spend an awful lot of spiritual energy worrying about the sexual exploits of others. I'm not sure if it is because we are so morally righteous, probably not. Or if we're just somewhat envious and living vicariously through the lives of others and then get mad when ours doesn't seem so wild.
But I do fully understand the idea that attempting to embrace power, prestige and possessions, is truly draining, numbing and deadly. The games that have to be played to appear to have gotten anywhere exact an amazing toll. It is easy to lose sight of what is truly important, who one's real friends are, and it seems quite easy to lose everything while trying to gain more.
Sometimes in my smaller moments I do wish that I had more power, though admittedly over myself first would be a good place to start. I sometimes wish I was as important as I think I ought to be, while missing and/or ignoring the places where I am valued. And I can get wrapped up in the what I don't have materially, instead of enjoying what I do.
Trying not to get caught up in the pursuit of those "3 P's" is really a spiritual battle. When I'm at peace with myself, I can sense the presence of God, saying, Ed, you don't have it that bad, knock it off.
Blessings,
Ed
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Reflections for 12/12/10
"Amen. Lord Jesus, come soon!"(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p.19)
Around this time of year, there are lots of parties. Every religion that I can think of has some winter time festival. So we invite friends and family to come. We rarely invite someone we hope won't come, though I suppose etiquette requires it.
Christians have been saying and hoping the above quote for thousands of years. The Revelation to John ends with that hopeful invitation. And while I recite through the creed the expectation of Jesus' coming again, I won't say that I go to bed disappointed that today wasn't the day.
I also know that the Bible is clear that I can't and won't know the day, and because of that I try to live each day with the expectation that today could be the day. I won't say that if he shows up today everything would be as I would like it to be.
So I'll keep living the Advent expectation of Jesus' second coming. And look forward to seeing anyone who chooses to come.
Blessings,
Ed
Around this time of year, there are lots of parties. Every religion that I can think of has some winter time festival. So we invite friends and family to come. We rarely invite someone we hope won't come, though I suppose etiquette requires it.
Christians have been saying and hoping the above quote for thousands of years. The Revelation to John ends with that hopeful invitation. And while I recite through the creed the expectation of Jesus' coming again, I won't say that I go to bed disappointed that today wasn't the day.
I also know that the Bible is clear that I can't and won't know the day, and because of that I try to live each day with the expectation that today could be the day. I won't say that if he shows up today everything would be as I would like it to be.
So I'll keep living the Advent expectation of Jesus' second coming. And look forward to seeing anyone who chooses to come.
Blessings,
Ed
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Reflection for 12/11/10
"Once we have met and accepted our inner opposite, there is nothing more to defend and nothing more to be afraid of."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 17)
I certainly do have a wide range of acquaintances. The more I look at the interests and backgrounds of people I associate with, I'm struck by the diversity of it all. I have friends that are older than me. I have friends that are younger than me. Our experiences growing up are different, and yet somewhat similar. I have friends that are female. I have non-Caucasian friends. I have friends that are homosexual. I have friends that are not Christian. I have friends that are conservative in their politics.
Why do I see these friendships as gifts from God? First because they help me to see and appreciate the world from a perspective that is not mine. I get a much fuller picture of the reality of living in our world. I also am able to see my own biases better and also to clarify what I believe, think and feel when I have those other viewpoints to compare with.
Many people stay away from folks who are not "just like them." How funny it is that in doing so it is usually from a defensive and fear filled position. While there may be some comfort in being surrounded by folks just like me, that's not the real world. I'm thankful for having grown up in a diverse community, though it wasn't always easy. I'm thankful for the diversity that I experienced in college and seminary, a lot of personal growth took place as a result. I continue to be thankful for adult friendships which continue to broaden my horizons.
Blessings,
Ed
I certainly do have a wide range of acquaintances. The more I look at the interests and backgrounds of people I associate with, I'm struck by the diversity of it all. I have friends that are older than me. I have friends that are younger than me. Our experiences growing up are different, and yet somewhat similar. I have friends that are female. I have non-Caucasian friends. I have friends that are homosexual. I have friends that are not Christian. I have friends that are conservative in their politics.
Why do I see these friendships as gifts from God? First because they help me to see and appreciate the world from a perspective that is not mine. I get a much fuller picture of the reality of living in our world. I also am able to see my own biases better and also to clarify what I believe, think and feel when I have those other viewpoints to compare with.
Many people stay away from folks who are not "just like them." How funny it is that in doing so it is usually from a defensive and fear filled position. While there may be some comfort in being surrounded by folks just like me, that's not the real world. I'm thankful for having grown up in a diverse community, though it wasn't always easy. I'm thankful for the diversity that I experienced in college and seminary, a lot of personal growth took place as a result. I continue to be thankful for adult friendships which continue to broaden my horizons.
Blessings,
Ed
Friday, December 10, 2010
Reflections for 12/10/10
"Grace comes when you stop being preoccupied and stop thinking that by your own meddling, managing, and manufacturing you can create it."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p.15)
There is a part of me that is a bit of a control freak. Ask my wife who gets to drive the car if we're in it together. While I don't micromanage, I'm not as good as I could be in sharing the work load.
Like most people I like to believe I'm in control, but boy when life throws me an ice patch, trouble starts to come. Yet the one thing that consistently seems to happen for me, is just when I feel I've lost control of a situation, when I've given up, that's when grace makes an appearance.
Perhaps grace has no chance of doing her thing, if I'm to busy trying to do my thing, which by the way is usually what got me into the predicament in the first place. I'm not saying that we should shirk all responsibility. That would be an excuse for laziness. But in those times when something is clearly not going the way we intened, we might be better off letting it go and see if grace has any interest in it.
Grace doesn't want or need our help. It needs us to be open to its possibilities and to let her do her work.
Blessings,
Ed
There is a part of me that is a bit of a control freak. Ask my wife who gets to drive the car if we're in it together. While I don't micromanage, I'm not as good as I could be in sharing the work load.
Like most people I like to believe I'm in control, but boy when life throws me an ice patch, trouble starts to come. Yet the one thing that consistently seems to happen for me, is just when I feel I've lost control of a situation, when I've given up, that's when grace makes an appearance.
Perhaps grace has no chance of doing her thing, if I'm to busy trying to do my thing, which by the way is usually what got me into the predicament in the first place. I'm not saying that we should shirk all responsibility. That would be an excuse for laziness. But in those times when something is clearly not going the way we intened, we might be better off letting it go and see if grace has any interest in it.
Grace doesn't want or need our help. It needs us to be open to its possibilities and to let her do her work.
Blessings,
Ed
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Reflections for 12/9/10
"I've never in my years as a Catholic Christian heard a sermon on the Tenth Commandment. we can't possibly preach on 'Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's goods' because Western society is based on that. It's called capitalism. mass advertising tells us we need things none of us need. It sows confusion about what's important for life. The level of need has moved to such a level of illusion and sophistication that what were once ultimate luxuries have become necessities. In our culture, people cannot feel good about themselves unless next year's vacation is more luxurious than last year's unless everything is upgraded-while most of God's people on this earth starve."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 14-15)
I have to admit, I too cannot recall ever hearing a sermon on the 10th commandment. I'm fairly certain that I have also never preached on the 10th commandment. I'd like to say it is because the lectionary doesn't cover it, but that's probably not true. It may be that as Fr. Rohr points out that may hit too close to home for most of those hearing it, and sadly it would hit too close to home for myself as well.
While I won't steal anything from my neighbor, it would not be true to say that I don't see what others have, at least materially, and not feel some level of envy. I watch enough TV to know that I'm bombarded with temptations to buy things I don't need, but they sure make me want it.
When I get into that covetousness it is amazing how negative the focus is, it becomes all about what I don't have. The sad part is I lose sight of what I do have. My car may not be the best, but it still runs. My TV may not be HD or 3D, but it still works. I may not have the smartest cell phone, but it makes calls. I may not be able to rent shore front property or hop on a plane to Europe, but I've loved my summer vacations with my family.
Certainly this time of year, covetousness rears its ugly head all to easily, how strange that the madness gets really going the day after we are supposed to give thanks.
Blessings,
Ed
I have to admit, I too cannot recall ever hearing a sermon on the 10th commandment. I'm fairly certain that I have also never preached on the 10th commandment. I'd like to say it is because the lectionary doesn't cover it, but that's probably not true. It may be that as Fr. Rohr points out that may hit too close to home for most of those hearing it, and sadly it would hit too close to home for myself as well.
While I won't steal anything from my neighbor, it would not be true to say that I don't see what others have, at least materially, and not feel some level of envy. I watch enough TV to know that I'm bombarded with temptations to buy things I don't need, but they sure make me want it.
When I get into that covetousness it is amazing how negative the focus is, it becomes all about what I don't have. The sad part is I lose sight of what I do have. My car may not be the best, but it still runs. My TV may not be HD or 3D, but it still works. I may not have the smartest cell phone, but it makes calls. I may not be able to rent shore front property or hop on a plane to Europe, but I've loved my summer vacations with my family.
Certainly this time of year, covetousness rears its ugly head all to easily, how strange that the madness gets really going the day after we are supposed to give thanks.
Blessings,
Ed
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Reflections for 12/8/10
"I'm a jail chaplain in Albuquerque. I'm delighted by the way I can preach to those guys in the jail. They don't have all of our sophistication, and they're not lost in worlds of words whereby everything is made vague. It's very clear to them what death is, very clear to them what's destroying people and how it's destroying people. There simply isn't a lot of self-protection in the psyche because their situations is forcing them to face reality."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p.13)
I am not a prison chaplain. I have however known people who have unfortunately landed in jail. I have visited two of them in prison, and have written three letters to judges on their behalf.
None of them have ever claimed innocence, or being framed. They didn't claim to be victims of the system. All of them acknowledged the horrible choice they had made and were willing to face the cost of that choice. If you were to have met any of them, you would not have seen them as your typical convict.
As I reflect back on their lives and what got them into trouble, there is a common theme. All of them had lost control of some part of their life, and in their desperation to find a way out of that valley period, they made a choice which turned out to be the wrong one.
While perhaps many of the choices we make when we are in valley periods of our lives will not lead to jail time, I wonder what keeps me from making that one wrong choice when I feel I'm at a place of no alternatives.
One thing may just be enough healthy fear to keep me from doing illegal. Perhaps another is having people to turn to and work through the issues and see truly viable alternative choices. Basically get a walking partner for that journey through the valley. And as a person of faith, to remember the words of Psalm 23, "yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me." 3/4 of those folks definitely had a faith to fall back on, but somehow lost sight of it.
I hope that I never get to such a low point, that I do not feel led to temptation.
Blessings,
Ed
I am not a prison chaplain. I have however known people who have unfortunately landed in jail. I have visited two of them in prison, and have written three letters to judges on their behalf.
None of them have ever claimed innocence, or being framed. They didn't claim to be victims of the system. All of them acknowledged the horrible choice they had made and were willing to face the cost of that choice. If you were to have met any of them, you would not have seen them as your typical convict.
As I reflect back on their lives and what got them into trouble, there is a common theme. All of them had lost control of some part of their life, and in their desperation to find a way out of that valley period, they made a choice which turned out to be the wrong one.
While perhaps many of the choices we make when we are in valley periods of our lives will not lead to jail time, I wonder what keeps me from making that one wrong choice when I feel I'm at a place of no alternatives.
One thing may just be enough healthy fear to keep me from doing illegal. Perhaps another is having people to turn to and work through the issues and see truly viable alternative choices. Basically get a walking partner for that journey through the valley. And as a person of faith, to remember the words of Psalm 23, "yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me." 3/4 of those folks definitely had a faith to fall back on, but somehow lost sight of it.
I hope that I never get to such a low point, that I do not feel led to temptation.
Blessings,
Ed
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Reflections for 12/7/10
"When nothing is forbidden, nothing is required. We are close to that today. I believe it what Thomas Merton predicted as 'organized despair.'"(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p.12)
I am a person who is quite comfortable with ambiguity. I'm also a habitual liver in the grays of life. I tend to shun either or choices. And I'm not a big fan of rules. But what I also have come to realize is that without any kind of framework in which to think, feel, and grow, I am basically stuck. I begin to lose any sense of who I am, what I'm supposed to be doing.
And sometimes when I see myself as lost and aimless, I see very clearly what the root cause of that despair is. The lack of a framework. I don't' recall ever living in a world of "thou shalt not." Yet without some sort of limit, how can I know when I've gone too far? I don't recall having any expectations placed upon me. And yet without any expectations, how am I supposed to know what I'm attempting to achieve?
I don't wish to become someone whose life is governed by hard fast rules. I do have a strong enough moral compass to know when something is truly wrong. And as an intuitive I can even see when something may not be wrong at that given moment, but no good will ever come of following that path. I don't wish to become a slave to tasks, but I would like to be able to set some goals, personally and professionally to get me moving.
I think there is something to those words "organized despair." It is that inner voice crying out for meaning, purpose and identity.
Blessings,
Ed
I am a person who is quite comfortable with ambiguity. I'm also a habitual liver in the grays of life. I tend to shun either or choices. And I'm not a big fan of rules. But what I also have come to realize is that without any kind of framework in which to think, feel, and grow, I am basically stuck. I begin to lose any sense of who I am, what I'm supposed to be doing.
And sometimes when I see myself as lost and aimless, I see very clearly what the root cause of that despair is. The lack of a framework. I don't' recall ever living in a world of "thou shalt not." Yet without some sort of limit, how can I know when I've gone too far? I don't recall having any expectations placed upon me. And yet without any expectations, how am I supposed to know what I'm attempting to achieve?
I don't wish to become someone whose life is governed by hard fast rules. I do have a strong enough moral compass to know when something is truly wrong. And as an intuitive I can even see when something may not be wrong at that given moment, but no good will ever come of following that path. I don't wish to become a slave to tasks, but I would like to be able to set some goals, personally and professionally to get me moving.
I think there is something to those words "organized despair." It is that inner voice crying out for meaning, purpose and identity.
Blessings,
Ed
Monday, December 6, 2010
Reflections for 12/6/10
"Without prayer, we social activists end up as ideologues. We're trapped in our heads, our opinions, our righteous selves. Maybe we'll be doing the right thin, but from an egocentric place, not a place of unitive consciousness, the place where all things are one. In other words, we'll be doing our own agenda instead of God's. As soon as we fail, you'll see the difference. That's why failure, rejection and humiliation are so important for us. They are the only things that tell us whether we're operating out of the center place, the place of prayer, or whether we're basically doing our own thing and calling it God's thin. When people are doing God's thing, they have freedom-they can laugh at themselves, they can take humiliation and non-success because their own reputation is not at stake. The mature believer will probably look more like a holy fool than a do-gooder or a 'saint.'" (R.Rohr "Radical Grace p. 11)
One of the questions that is often posed to me from people who do not come from any faith perspective is what the difference is between folks who fight for social justice issues on a secular level and those who fight for the same issues from a religious one. And for me, the answer is prayer.
I'll agree with Fr. Rohr that prayer first off at least gives me some time and space to figure out whether the action I'm contemplating is really a call from God, or more about me trying to look good. Prayer is also the place where I gain energy to advocate for the people and causes that speak to my understanding of what God calls me to do.
I also know that I'm on the right track when the success or failure of something will not make me focus on how I look. And that is very hard to do. I want to look good, I'm not particularly fond of rejection and failure. But if I allow those fears to take control then I'm probably barking up the wrong tree.
I also know that it is my relationship with God that keeps me from becoming an ideologue. I am a "liberal." I understand that to mean an openness to all information and the ability to sift through all of it and find the truth. Again doing much of it through prayer.
I'm thankful for a faith that opens my eyes to the world around me. That does not allow me to shut off from the problems of the day. And I'm also thankful for a faith that allows me to truly see where I'm called to risk.
Blessings,
Ed
One of the questions that is often posed to me from people who do not come from any faith perspective is what the difference is between folks who fight for social justice issues on a secular level and those who fight for the same issues from a religious one. And for me, the answer is prayer.
I'll agree with Fr. Rohr that prayer first off at least gives me some time and space to figure out whether the action I'm contemplating is really a call from God, or more about me trying to look good. Prayer is also the place where I gain energy to advocate for the people and causes that speak to my understanding of what God calls me to do.
I also know that I'm on the right track when the success or failure of something will not make me focus on how I look. And that is very hard to do. I want to look good, I'm not particularly fond of rejection and failure. But if I allow those fears to take control then I'm probably barking up the wrong tree.
I also know that it is my relationship with God that keeps me from becoming an ideologue. I am a "liberal." I understand that to mean an openness to all information and the ability to sift through all of it and find the truth. Again doing much of it through prayer.
I'm thankful for a faith that opens my eyes to the world around me. That does not allow me to shut off from the problems of the day. And I'm also thankful for a faith that allows me to truly see where I'm called to risk.
Blessings,
Ed
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Reflections for 12/5/10
"Many other forms of prayer we've been taught require thinking thoughts or saying and reading words. I'm not saying they're bad; they're obviously good. But we can do all of the above, think thoughts about Jesus and Mary, read the psalms or recite memorized prayers without transforming our consciousness. We do it in the old system. The ego is still in charge. It may not be conscious, but we think, 'I'm the center of the world. I have my feelings. I have my opinions and I, in this hardened silo, will think about Jesus."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p.10)
As an Episcopalian I will have to admit that a good chunk of my prayers are from the Book of Common Prayer. We get accused by other Christians of being so wedded to those words that we don't pray in the Spirit. I of course would counter that I heard more sermons that were advertised as prayers by those offering that critique.
But the criticism is somewhat valid. Granted they aren't my thoughts, they are someone else's, but they are still words. They keep me grounded and getting to long winded, but they don't invite me into the sheer silence.
To truly be engaged in a one one one with God, I need to let go of my to do list of things to remind about. To sit quietly and empty my mind of all my important stuff and just listen. It is in what I might hear in that silence where the transformative power of God is to be experienced.
I won't be letting go of Book of Common Prayer Worship. It works for me. But a nice addition is the more centering and contemplative prayer styles that are available to me as well.
Blessings,
Ed
As an Episcopalian I will have to admit that a good chunk of my prayers are from the Book of Common Prayer. We get accused by other Christians of being so wedded to those words that we don't pray in the Spirit. I of course would counter that I heard more sermons that were advertised as prayers by those offering that critique.
But the criticism is somewhat valid. Granted they aren't my thoughts, they are someone else's, but they are still words. They keep me grounded and getting to long winded, but they don't invite me into the sheer silence.
To truly be engaged in a one one one with God, I need to let go of my to do list of things to remind about. To sit quietly and empty my mind of all my important stuff and just listen. It is in what I might hear in that silence where the transformative power of God is to be experienced.
I won't be letting go of Book of Common Prayer Worship. It works for me. But a nice addition is the more centering and contemplative prayer styles that are available to me as well.
Blessings,
Ed
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Reflections for 12/4/10
"I have committed myself to joy. I have come to realize that those who make space for joy, those who prefer nothing to joy, those who desire the utter reality, will most assuredly have it."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p.9)
Most of us know something about commitments. I'm committed to my family, my friends, my church. I've lately become committed to my physical and mental health. I find keeping my commitments and working on them, is good for me and my outlook on life.
I would also add that I like this notion of a commitment to joy. It is partially for me a commitment to being happy. It is also a commitment that goes well beyond just the feeling of happiness. Joy is an ability to persevere even when the odds seem stacked against me. Joy is also for me a firm sense of the presence of God in and around me.
All of these commitments require me to make space and or time for them. I also find that joy is the one thing that weaves in and out of all the other commitments. I feel joy when I am most present with those commitments.
In this Advent Season, I'll continue to seek out joy whenever and wherever I can find it.
Blessings,
Ed
Most of us know something about commitments. I'm committed to my family, my friends, my church. I've lately become committed to my physical and mental health. I find keeping my commitments and working on them, is good for me and my outlook on life.
I would also add that I like this notion of a commitment to joy. It is partially for me a commitment to being happy. It is also a commitment that goes well beyond just the feeling of happiness. Joy is an ability to persevere even when the odds seem stacked against me. Joy is also for me a firm sense of the presence of God in and around me.
All of these commitments require me to make space and or time for them. I also find that joy is the one thing that weaves in and out of all the other commitments. I feel joy when I am most present with those commitments.
In this Advent Season, I'll continue to seek out joy whenever and wherever I can find it.
Blessings,
Ed
Friday, December 3, 2010
Reflections for 12/3/10
"We really need to be saved from the tyranny of our own judgments, opinions and feelings about everything, the 'undisciplined squads of emotions' that T.S. Eliot criticizes in his poetry. We must stop believing our false subjectivity that chooses to objectify everybody and everything else in the world-including God and our own soul. (Which is the likely reason why most Western individualists hate themselves. WE treat our own souls as objects to be dissected, judged and perfected.)"(R.Rohr "Radical Grace p.8)
I think its pretty rare when I don't actually have an opinion about something. What I've tried to do as I've gotten older is to learn when to share such opinions and when is it better to just let them stay where they originated.
I actually do try to have a positive opinion about most of what I have an opinion about, but of course there are things, and people and situations that I'm not so fond of.
I'm not a big fan of folks who come across as judgmental, for whom everything is framed in a negative. Of course I did just judge them, didn't I? What I find to be true that when I'm not feeling so great about myself, it is incredibly easy to start shooting off at the mouth. Everyone needs to know what Ed thinks.
The sad part in constantly sharing every opinion one has, is that eventually people stop listening. Which is unfortunate when you actually have something to say.
There are plenty of references in scripture to the tongue and the mouth, and how they get one in a lot of trouble. Regrettably I have found this to be all too true sometimes.
Blessings,
Ed
I think its pretty rare when I don't actually have an opinion about something. What I've tried to do as I've gotten older is to learn when to share such opinions and when is it better to just let them stay where they originated.
I actually do try to have a positive opinion about most of what I have an opinion about, but of course there are things, and people and situations that I'm not so fond of.
I'm not a big fan of folks who come across as judgmental, for whom everything is framed in a negative. Of course I did just judge them, didn't I? What I find to be true that when I'm not feeling so great about myself, it is incredibly easy to start shooting off at the mouth. Everyone needs to know what Ed thinks.
The sad part in constantly sharing every opinion one has, is that eventually people stop listening. Which is unfortunate when you actually have something to say.
There are plenty of references in scripture to the tongue and the mouth, and how they get one in a lot of trouble. Regrettably I have found this to be all too true sometimes.
Blessings,
Ed
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Reflections for 12/2/10
"The Church is not an end in itself; the Church is a means. The Kingdom is the end. And whenever we make the means into the end, we have created an idol. It is the major sin in the Bible-maybe the only one."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 7)
I'll have to admit that I've always liked Church. It is there that I encounter God most deeply. I do understand that encounters with the divine can happen outside of the walls of a church.
What I suppose I need to be careful of is not loving the church more than I love God. It is a danger, so many of us love our buildings that we risk forgetting why the building exists in the first place.
I do know that there are other aspects of my life that run a similar risk. Sometimes I wind up loving the journey more than the destination. I might enjoy doing the work more than completing the project.
I should always remember what the goal is. Sometimes there may be more than one means to achieving it. And while I always want to enjoy as much as possible the way that I get things done. I do need to get them done.
Blessings,
Ed
I'll have to admit that I've always liked Church. It is there that I encounter God most deeply. I do understand that encounters with the divine can happen outside of the walls of a church.
What I suppose I need to be careful of is not loving the church more than I love God. It is a danger, so many of us love our buildings that we risk forgetting why the building exists in the first place.
I do know that there are other aspects of my life that run a similar risk. Sometimes I wind up loving the journey more than the destination. I might enjoy doing the work more than completing the project.
I should always remember what the goal is. Sometimes there may be more than one means to achieving it. And while I always want to enjoy as much as possible the way that I get things done. I do need to get them done.
Blessings,
Ed
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Reflections for 12/1/10
"All false religion proceeds in a certain sense from one illusion: People say 'Thy Kingdom come' out of one side of their mouth, but they don't, out of the other side of their mouth, say, 'My kingdom go.' It happens when we try to have both of those kingdoms reign, when we say that the Lord is the lord of our lives, but in fact we're the lord of our own lives. When Jesus is not the Lord of our lives, we will most assuredly lord it over one another. That attitude has resulted in the domination, competition and unbelievable success agenda of much of Western civilization: Christians have sought to lord it over one another while saying they were submitting to the lordship of Jesus Christ."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 6)
Every time I pray the "Lord's Prayer" I bid "thy kingdom come, thy will be done." Yet I will have to admit that is a hard bidding to live out. In my mind I know theologically that I want the Kingdom of God to break through. Yet I probably do more to build up the fortress of Ed.
If faith were truly what pushed my reason to be, and informed my decisions, I have a feeling at least 1/2 of what I do would stop being done. If I were truly to let go of my own self interests, it would be a minor miracle.
I find it incredibly hard to live into that prayer. I can get just as caught up in the competition, the need to seem to be successful and the one upmanship games that get played regularly in our world.
I can't help but notice when others seem to be doing better than I. Yet the real question I should be asking is, am I being faithful to what I feel called to do?
It is incredibly easy to mouth proclamations about Jesus being in charge of my life. It is a very different matter to actually live into that statement.
Blessings,
Ed
Every time I pray the "Lord's Prayer" I bid "thy kingdom come, thy will be done." Yet I will have to admit that is a hard bidding to live out. In my mind I know theologically that I want the Kingdom of God to break through. Yet I probably do more to build up the fortress of Ed.
If faith were truly what pushed my reason to be, and informed my decisions, I have a feeling at least 1/2 of what I do would stop being done. If I were truly to let go of my own self interests, it would be a minor miracle.
I find it incredibly hard to live into that prayer. I can get just as caught up in the competition, the need to seem to be successful and the one upmanship games that get played regularly in our world.
I can't help but notice when others seem to be doing better than I. Yet the real question I should be asking is, am I being faithful to what I feel called to do?
It is incredibly easy to mouth proclamations about Jesus being in charge of my life. It is a very different matter to actually live into that statement.
Blessings,
Ed
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Reflections for 11/30/10
"Decisive action beyond our fears gives us a sense of our own power and the power of God within us."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p.5)
One of my favorite Advent hymns is "Come Thou Long Expected Jesus." The first verse is especially poignant to me. "Come thou long expected Jesus, born to set thy people free, from our fears and sins release us, let us find our rest in thee."
I actually think fears and sins are often one and the same. Because of my fears I often have the sin of things left undone. The fear of something not working, or of being rejected often gets in the way of actually trying. It is a fear I need to overcome.
I will say that when I get past that fear, I'm often pleasantly surprised by how things actually turn out. More times than not the worst case scenario I've created was false and probably a trap.
The key for me to getting past the fear is to trust God's presence with me and that I have been given already all I need to accomplish the task in front of me.
It takes a lot to trust that. Fear is ultimately the greatest tool of the enemy within and without.
Blessings,
Ed
One of my favorite Advent hymns is "Come Thou Long Expected Jesus." The first verse is especially poignant to me. "Come thou long expected Jesus, born to set thy people free, from our fears and sins release us, let us find our rest in thee."
I actually think fears and sins are often one and the same. Because of my fears I often have the sin of things left undone. The fear of something not working, or of being rejected often gets in the way of actually trying. It is a fear I need to overcome.
I will say that when I get past that fear, I'm often pleasantly surprised by how things actually turn out. More times than not the worst case scenario I've created was false and probably a trap.
The key for me to getting past the fear is to trust God's presence with me and that I have been given already all I need to accomplish the task in front of me.
It takes a lot to trust that. Fear is ultimately the greatest tool of the enemy within and without.
Blessings,
Ed
Monday, November 29, 2010
Reflections for 11/29/10
"Wholeness of God is to be found everywhere, but it is only apparent as every part learns to love every other part. I suspect that those who by grace can recognize the Lord within their own puny souls will be the same who will freely and intelligently affirm the Lord's presence in the body of Jesus and the body of the universe."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p.4)
While I'm a confirmed Trinitarian in my belief system, I do see the image of God in most of the world around me. I don't believe that these individual things are God, but that they reveal something of the nature of God, and in my appreciation and love for them the whole image of God begins to come together.
I can also recognize where God is a part of me as well. I can also see very clearly the aspects of my life that mar that image. I am also capable of acknowledging that There is enough of God to go around and that Ed doesn't have the corner on God's presence.
One way that I can respect the dignity of every human being is to acknowledge freely and intelligently the presence of God in others. Whether they recognize that presence or not, is for them to decide.
If more of us would spend time finding what is right in our world and celebrating it and nourishing it, instead of wasting spiritual, emotional and intellectual energy on what we perceive is wrong, the wholeness of God in omnipresence would be seen.
Blessings,
Ed
While I'm a confirmed Trinitarian in my belief system, I do see the image of God in most of the world around me. I don't believe that these individual things are God, but that they reveal something of the nature of God, and in my appreciation and love for them the whole image of God begins to come together.
I can also recognize where God is a part of me as well. I can also see very clearly the aspects of my life that mar that image. I am also capable of acknowledging that There is enough of God to go around and that Ed doesn't have the corner on God's presence.
One way that I can respect the dignity of every human being is to acknowledge freely and intelligently the presence of God in others. Whether they recognize that presence or not, is for them to decide.
If more of us would spend time finding what is right in our world and celebrating it and nourishing it, instead of wasting spiritual, emotional and intellectual energy on what we perceive is wrong, the wholeness of God in omnipresence would be seen.
Blessings,
Ed
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Reflections for 11/28/10
"Come,Lord Jesus means that all of Christian history has to live out of a kind of chosen non-fulfillment. Yet we demand that our anxiety be taken away. We say 'Why didn't you do that for me?' We tend to get disappointed because reality does not fulfill our expectations -or more likely somebody doesn't: our spouse, our children, our community. We're refusing to say, Come, Lord Jesus."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 3)
Today is the first Sunday in Advent, the church season of preparation for the return of Christ, or probably in many people's minds the arrival of Christmas. Most of the readings in church this morning pointed towards that return, a return that Christians have been waiting 2 millennium for.
It is hard to be that patient. We wait for a promise pretty much unfulfilled, yet at the heart of the Christian faith. We're told we will not know when, in spite of some who claim they know. I'm amazed at the resilience of faith to keep on keeping on with this. I say that considering how impatient we can be with each other.
When others do not live up to our expectations we get really annoyed. When things don't happen as quickly as we'd like, we get annoyed. When a promise goes unfulfilled we get really down.
Perhaps we need to give the same generosity and patience to others that we perhaps give to God. That of course assumes one is patient with God.
In this incredibly manic time of the year, I'd invite you to find the time to just sit quietly and wait in that stillness to see who comes, who speaks to you.
Blessings,
Ed
Today is the first Sunday in Advent, the church season of preparation for the return of Christ, or probably in many people's minds the arrival of Christmas. Most of the readings in church this morning pointed towards that return, a return that Christians have been waiting 2 millennium for.
It is hard to be that patient. We wait for a promise pretty much unfulfilled, yet at the heart of the Christian faith. We're told we will not know when, in spite of some who claim they know. I'm amazed at the resilience of faith to keep on keeping on with this. I say that considering how impatient we can be with each other.
When others do not live up to our expectations we get really annoyed. When things don't happen as quickly as we'd like, we get annoyed. When a promise goes unfulfilled we get really down.
Perhaps we need to give the same generosity and patience to others that we perhaps give to God. That of course assumes one is patient with God.
In this incredibly manic time of the year, I'd invite you to find the time to just sit quietly and wait in that stillness to see who comes, who speaks to you.
Blessings,
Ed
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Reflections for 11/27/10
"In this we see the gracious love of Jesus. He could not bear that for the rest of his life Peter would carry the guilt of those three denials. So three times he permits him to say publicly and proudly, 'I love you. You know everything. You know that I love you.' Peter has become a disciple. Now he is led to give everything away and follow the Lord."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 392)
Sometimes when I hit a roadblock or wall in my life I have to take the time to seek what the root cause of it is. Is it something outside of my control? Or is it more likely something that happened sometime in the past? Something that until it is reconciled or healed, I can never truly move forward.
The post resurrection story from the Gospel of John, shows us Peter having to work his way back, not so much into the good graces of Christ, but being able to not be stuck in his own guilt. Since he denied Jesus three times, he needs to say I love you three times, and then get moving again. Without that chance at reconciliation he may have never amounted to anything.
In the church calendar today is the last day of the year. The season of Advent begins. A season of preparation. It is now paralleled by the manic level of the secular Christmas and the beginning of the calender New Year. Perhaps this is a time to take a deeper look at what is really frustrating us. Where is that unhealed hurt that we could start to mend? Perhaps an interesting resolution for the coming year would be to finally deal with that issue, whatever it may be, that is stopping you from living fully.
Blessings,
Ed
Sometimes when I hit a roadblock or wall in my life I have to take the time to seek what the root cause of it is. Is it something outside of my control? Or is it more likely something that happened sometime in the past? Something that until it is reconciled or healed, I can never truly move forward.
The post resurrection story from the Gospel of John, shows us Peter having to work his way back, not so much into the good graces of Christ, but being able to not be stuck in his own guilt. Since he denied Jesus three times, he needs to say I love you three times, and then get moving again. Without that chance at reconciliation he may have never amounted to anything.
In the church calendar today is the last day of the year. The season of Advent begins. A season of preparation. It is now paralleled by the manic level of the secular Christmas and the beginning of the calender New Year. Perhaps this is a time to take a deeper look at what is really frustrating us. Where is that unhealed hurt that we could start to mend? Perhaps an interesting resolution for the coming year would be to finally deal with that issue, whatever it may be, that is stopping you from living fully.
Blessings,
Ed
Friday, November 26, 2010
Reflections for 11/26/10
"Prayer is sitting in the silence until it silences us, choosing gratitude until we are grateful, praising God until we ourselves are an act of praise."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 391)
For a noisy extrovert like me sitting in silence can be pure torture. Yet in those times when I've allowed myself to be still and be silent, I am often amazed at how the rest of me gets silenced. I find that my mind can shut off, which is often the first step in hearing what God wants me to hear. There is certainly enough of a cacophony in my surroundings and in my head that to hear anything is nothing short of miraculous.
I do believe that I have become more grateful as I begin to understand how important saying thank you is. To offer my thanks to God for not only the incredible and extraordinary things that happen to me, but also for the simple everyday occurrences that I might just as easily take for granted.
I'd like to believe that I am becoming an act of praise, because I believe in optimism, I try to live as joyfully as possible and to rarely allow negativity to rule my day.
Blessings,
Ed
For a noisy extrovert like me sitting in silence can be pure torture. Yet in those times when I've allowed myself to be still and be silent, I am often amazed at how the rest of me gets silenced. I find that my mind can shut off, which is often the first step in hearing what God wants me to hear. There is certainly enough of a cacophony in my surroundings and in my head that to hear anything is nothing short of miraculous.
I do believe that I have become more grateful as I begin to understand how important saying thank you is. To offer my thanks to God for not only the incredible and extraordinary things that happen to me, but also for the simple everyday occurrences that I might just as easily take for granted.
I'd like to believe that I am becoming an act of praise, because I believe in optimism, I try to live as joyfully as possible and to rarely allow negativity to rule my day.
Blessings,
Ed
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Reflections for 11/25/10
"If I would have to choose between judging myself and being judged by God, I'll take God. Give me God, who sees the whole picture and who is my father and mother. God's going to say what parents say: 'Don't bother me with the facts,this is my child!' We condemn ourselves with facts, but the facts don't mean very much in terms of relationships."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p.390)
I wonder if I would make that same choice? I think I would because of what I believe about God being merciful. I fairly certain that I am a horrible judge of self. I don't know that I would give me a break. I see all to clearly my imperfections. I know all too well the facts of my life. I'm still overweight. I'm not as financially sound as I would like to be. I still wait for things to happen, rather than create my own opportunities. I still have a hard time saying "no" to requests. I'm nowhere near perfect.
What I also have experienced is that all those facts are apparently irrelevant to God and to my friends and family. Those who choose to be in relationship with me. Clearly they see something that is not as obvious to me, and for that I'm eternally thankful.
At our Ecumenical Thanksgiving Service there was an opportunity given for everyone to say what they were thankful for. And I find that I'm most thankful for the relationships I have of family, friends and God. The one's that know me better than I sometimes know myself.
Blessings,
Ed
I wonder if I would make that same choice? I think I would because of what I believe about God being merciful. I fairly certain that I am a horrible judge of self. I don't know that I would give me a break. I see all to clearly my imperfections. I know all too well the facts of my life. I'm still overweight. I'm not as financially sound as I would like to be. I still wait for things to happen, rather than create my own opportunities. I still have a hard time saying "no" to requests. I'm nowhere near perfect.
What I also have experienced is that all those facts are apparently irrelevant to God and to my friends and family. Those who choose to be in relationship with me. Clearly they see something that is not as obvious to me, and for that I'm eternally thankful.
At our Ecumenical Thanksgiving Service there was an opportunity given for everyone to say what they were thankful for. And I find that I'm most thankful for the relationships I have of family, friends and God. The one's that know me better than I sometimes know myself.
Blessings,
Ed
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Reflections for 11/24/10
"We've got to teach the next generation the real meaning of generosity. Give yourself to your children, as opposed to just giving them things. You can't be with them all the time, but when you do have time, let them see you enjoy being with them. Let them see you value them simply for their own sakes."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p.389-90)
You probably would have to ask my children if they feel I've been present in their lives. If what I've been able to give them has made them feel loved and valued. I haven't been able to give them much materially. They tend to be behind the times electronically, but they do have some things.
While financially I may not have been able to give them as much as some of their peers had, I do think I gave them a good amount of time spent together. I hope they will remember the vacations we took together as a family, seeing the parts of our country. I hope they will remember me coaching them in baseball, wrestling and soccer. I hope they will remember going to Phillies' games and Heavy Metal Concerts.
There are two things in this world that we have: time and money. We are called to be generous with both. I hope I've modeled for my sons, how to give of time to family, church and community and to keep a proper balance.
Hopefully when they leave the nest, the world will be a better place for having people like Mike and Pete engaging their world.
Blessings,
Ed
You probably would have to ask my children if they feel I've been present in their lives. If what I've been able to give them has made them feel loved and valued. I haven't been able to give them much materially. They tend to be behind the times electronically, but they do have some things.
While financially I may not have been able to give them as much as some of their peers had, I do think I gave them a good amount of time spent together. I hope they will remember the vacations we took together as a family, seeing the parts of our country. I hope they will remember me coaching them in baseball, wrestling and soccer. I hope they will remember going to Phillies' games and Heavy Metal Concerts.
There are two things in this world that we have: time and money. We are called to be generous with both. I hope I've modeled for my sons, how to give of time to family, church and community and to keep a proper balance.
Hopefully when they leave the nest, the world will be a better place for having people like Mike and Pete engaging their world.
Blessings,
Ed
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Reflections for 11/23/10
"Many people are incapable of true repentance because they are trying too hard. They get into breast beating ad putting themselves down. It will never work, but only deaden and paralyze. That's never God's work. God enters into our sin and redeems it. God loves us first before we can do anything. And from that experience of unearned love, unprepared-for-love, comes within us the power to begin again. We end up looking good and getting the credit, but we know better inside."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 389)
I'm not the type of person that dwells too much on my sinfulness. That's not to say that I'm sinless, that would be a lie, which of course would then be a sin. What I mean is that I don't try to make a public spectacle of myself as I own up to my faults. Accept the forgiveness given to me and then attempt to build upon that foundation a new and improved Ed.
In some ways repentance, turning one's life around, is like any project, there will be false starts, we will hit plateaus, we will get stuck and feel like throwing in the towel. We might even start the breast beating, self imposed guilt trips, hoping that someone will notice and rescue us.
I take seriously Jesus statement at making a public display of one's piety (Matthew 6)Whether that's showing off with long winded prayers, or letting everyone know how sorry you feel. When I've gone looking for applause, I'm in trouble.
When we see other people who seemingly pulled themselves up, or turned their life around, we want to hear what self-help book they've read. Lord knows I've read enough of those too, but the only thing I can say that has ever truly worked, was relying on God's help that comes through that unearned love.
Blessings,
Ed
I'm not the type of person that dwells too much on my sinfulness. That's not to say that I'm sinless, that would be a lie, which of course would then be a sin. What I mean is that I don't try to make a public spectacle of myself as I own up to my faults. Accept the forgiveness given to me and then attempt to build upon that foundation a new and improved Ed.
In some ways repentance, turning one's life around, is like any project, there will be false starts, we will hit plateaus, we will get stuck and feel like throwing in the towel. We might even start the breast beating, self imposed guilt trips, hoping that someone will notice and rescue us.
I take seriously Jesus statement at making a public display of one's piety (Matthew 6)Whether that's showing off with long winded prayers, or letting everyone know how sorry you feel. When I've gone looking for applause, I'm in trouble.
When we see other people who seemingly pulled themselves up, or turned their life around, we want to hear what self-help book they've read. Lord knows I've read enough of those too, but the only thing I can say that has ever truly worked, was relying on God's help that comes through that unearned love.
Blessings,
Ed
Monday, November 22, 2010
Reflections for 11/22/10
"Grace, that experience of unconditional love, breaks through the whole system and can change anything."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p.388)
Most people are familiar with the hymn "Amazing Grace." It is a hymn which can stir deep emotions, has connections to our past and present, and at least the first verse can be sung by people who've never been in a church.
I certainly have had moments of grace in my life. Times where I deserved to fail and somehow didn't. Times where things seemed to be crumbling around me, yet stabilized. Times when I felt very alone, and then saw how surrounded by loving people I really was. I have experienced times when a situation seemed hopeless and for no explainable reason, something turned the event around.
Fr. Rohr writes of radical grace, which I would understand as truly overcoming insurmountable odds. And while I haven't had too many instances of insurmountable odds, I do believe that grace is a pretty radical concept. Some might call it dumb luck. The difference for me is that grace invites me not to repeat the same mistakes over and over again. Luck rarely brings a change in attitude towards life and others.
Blessings,
Ed
Most people are familiar with the hymn "Amazing Grace." It is a hymn which can stir deep emotions, has connections to our past and present, and at least the first verse can be sung by people who've never been in a church.
I certainly have had moments of grace in my life. Times where I deserved to fail and somehow didn't. Times where things seemed to be crumbling around me, yet stabilized. Times when I felt very alone, and then saw how surrounded by loving people I really was. I have experienced times when a situation seemed hopeless and for no explainable reason, something turned the event around.
Fr. Rohr writes of radical grace, which I would understand as truly overcoming insurmountable odds. And while I haven't had too many instances of insurmountable odds, I do believe that grace is a pretty radical concept. Some might call it dumb luck. The difference for me is that grace invites me not to repeat the same mistakes over and over again. Luck rarely brings a change in attitude towards life and others.
Blessings,
Ed
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Reflections for 11/21/10
"Because we no longer worship such a Christ, we are condemned to worship smaller stories. We try to replace him with colorized myths of pilgrims, George Washington and General Norman Schwarzkopf, but none of them are big enough or real enough to give universal order and meaning. We look to the private psyche, but it is just not big enough or connected enough to encompass human spiritual longing."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 388)
Today in church we observed Christ the King Sunday. There's of course the biblical witness to that Kingship, but the church observance has a different twist. It came into observance in 1921 as a decree from the Pope at the time. It was meant to be the counter to the Protestant Church's observance of Reformation Sunday, and was held on October 30th. For some reason, Episcopalians like me moved to the end of the Liturgical Year. Probably because we are little bit Catholic and a little bit Protestant, and weren't really interested in the tiff.
Fr. Rohr's reflection for this particular day was on how we've shrunk our mental images of Jesus and have lost sight of the true magnitude of the person. And with that larger than life Christ we've attempted to replace him with a different sort of hero. The problem being that while all those that he mentioned are inspirational in their own way, they cannot fill that spiritual hunger. That need for something greater than ourselves.
There are certainly people throughout history and even in my present life who are inspiring to me, but I won't worship them. They do not cause me to take a look at myself and step out of my comfort zone.
For me it is as a believer in God as revealed in Jesus Christ that I move beyond myself. The eyes of my faith allow me to appreciate the way others live fully into their callings, but I know who is doing the calling.
Blessings,
Ed
Today in church we observed Christ the King Sunday. There's of course the biblical witness to that Kingship, but the church observance has a different twist. It came into observance in 1921 as a decree from the Pope at the time. It was meant to be the counter to the Protestant Church's observance of Reformation Sunday, and was held on October 30th. For some reason, Episcopalians like me moved to the end of the Liturgical Year. Probably because we are little bit Catholic and a little bit Protestant, and weren't really interested in the tiff.
Fr. Rohr's reflection for this particular day was on how we've shrunk our mental images of Jesus and have lost sight of the true magnitude of the person. And with that larger than life Christ we've attempted to replace him with a different sort of hero. The problem being that while all those that he mentioned are inspirational in their own way, they cannot fill that spiritual hunger. That need for something greater than ourselves.
There are certainly people throughout history and even in my present life who are inspiring to me, but I won't worship them. They do not cause me to take a look at myself and step out of my comfort zone.
For me it is as a believer in God as revealed in Jesus Christ that I move beyond myself. The eyes of my faith allow me to appreciate the way others live fully into their callings, but I know who is doing the calling.
Blessings,
Ed
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Reflections for 11/20/10
"Real faith is too real to ignore. If a person is teaching religion without offering some faith to catch, then teaching religion is largely a waste of time. It becomes an immunization against the real thing."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p.373)
Think about the teacher's that have impressed you the most. What was it about them that left a positive impression? Was it there wealth of knowledge? Or was it something else.
For me the teachers that I have gotten the most from are the ones who seemed most passionate about their area of expertise. They didn't seem like they were just regurgitating the facts that they had learned. But more that the subject matter was the essence of what made their hearts and minds race.
This has been true for every academic area I've ever studied, and I've studied most of them. I have never doubted that my teachers have known their material, but some have been much better at conveying their own love and excitement for the material. It was practically contagious.
I know that I've studied theology, bible and religion fairly in depth. I know my stuff. More important to me is my love for the topic. When I have the opportunity to share my faith, under girded with knowledge, I'm at my best, and enjoying myself fully.
What about you, what do you teach well, because you care so deeply about it and it brings you real joy in sharing it?
If you haven't had a chance to reconnect with those areas, I hope you'll find your passion again.
Blessings,
Ed
Think about the teacher's that have impressed you the most. What was it about them that left a positive impression? Was it there wealth of knowledge? Or was it something else.
For me the teachers that I have gotten the most from are the ones who seemed most passionate about their area of expertise. They didn't seem like they were just regurgitating the facts that they had learned. But more that the subject matter was the essence of what made their hearts and minds race.
This has been true for every academic area I've ever studied, and I've studied most of them. I have never doubted that my teachers have known their material, but some have been much better at conveying their own love and excitement for the material. It was practically contagious.
I know that I've studied theology, bible and religion fairly in depth. I know my stuff. More important to me is my love for the topic. When I have the opportunity to share my faith, under girded with knowledge, I'm at my best, and enjoying myself fully.
What about you, what do you teach well, because you care so deeply about it and it brings you real joy in sharing it?
If you haven't had a chance to reconnect with those areas, I hope you'll find your passion again.
Blessings,
Ed
Friday, November 19, 2010
Reflections for 11/19/10
"We have to learn to live both in the world-as-it-is and the world-as-it-should-be. One is power; the other is loved. Power and love are conjugal partners. Power without love is brutality, but love without power is soon mere sentimentality. We have to put the two together in this world."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p.372)
One of the criticisms of clergy is that we appear to care only about an ideal, rather than the realities of everyday life. I would have to admit that I do spend a lot of time thinking about possibilities. I believe I do this to counter balance the day to day realities that I have to deal with.
That Power is the reality and love the as it should be is probably true. We know that in our world, at least the underlying thought is that might makes right. If I'm stronger, faster, or just have more money than you, I win. It is also true that to just sing love me do all the time, is somewhat passive.
As I see it. Power and love working together get a lot done. When I love someone or something, I will do all in my power to help them. But the motivating factor is love. If all I care about is proving my superiority, than I've kicked love out the door. If all I do is talk about how much I love something, with little to no passion or purpose, I've become a hallmark moment.
It is also true that love may temper our need for power and our abuse of it. When feeling called to do something, it may be wise to ask how is this loving? And if you determine that it is out of love that you're ready to act, do so in a powerful way.
Blessings,
Ed
One of the criticisms of clergy is that we appear to care only about an ideal, rather than the realities of everyday life. I would have to admit that I do spend a lot of time thinking about possibilities. I believe I do this to counter balance the day to day realities that I have to deal with.
That Power is the reality and love the as it should be is probably true. We know that in our world, at least the underlying thought is that might makes right. If I'm stronger, faster, or just have more money than you, I win. It is also true that to just sing love me do all the time, is somewhat passive.
As I see it. Power and love working together get a lot done. When I love someone or something, I will do all in my power to help them. But the motivating factor is love. If all I care about is proving my superiority, than I've kicked love out the door. If all I do is talk about how much I love something, with little to no passion or purpose, I've become a hallmark moment.
It is also true that love may temper our need for power and our abuse of it. When feeling called to do something, it may be wise to ask how is this loving? And if you determine that it is out of love that you're ready to act, do so in a powerful way.
Blessings,
Ed
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Reflections for 11/18/10
"We don't like Jesus' new world order, especially if we think we are on top."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p.372)
I do find myself laughing from time to time, when I hear people that look a lot like me complaining about their oppression. It's actually kind of sad in some ways, that the self image of most straight white males is that we're some dying breed. That we are being emasculated at every turn. That everybody else gets the breaks, the special treatment.
While I don't always have the greatest self-image, I know that the only person keeping me down is me. It isn't the color of my skin, my gender, my sexuality or my tax bracket.
The reality is that I probably still get a fairly smooth ride through life, and some of that smooth trip is not earned.
Those passages from scripture that point towards caring for the poor, the powerless are to be treated with the same honor and dignity as I, can be threatening I suppose.
If scripture is correct, and I believe it is, that in Christ there is neither male, nor female, Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, then I have nothing to worry about, those labels do not define me, nor do they entrap me.
Blessings,
Ed
I do find myself laughing from time to time, when I hear people that look a lot like me complaining about their oppression. It's actually kind of sad in some ways, that the self image of most straight white males is that we're some dying breed. That we are being emasculated at every turn. That everybody else gets the breaks, the special treatment.
While I don't always have the greatest self-image, I know that the only person keeping me down is me. It isn't the color of my skin, my gender, my sexuality or my tax bracket.
The reality is that I probably still get a fairly smooth ride through life, and some of that smooth trip is not earned.
Those passages from scripture that point towards caring for the poor, the powerless are to be treated with the same honor and dignity as I, can be threatening I suppose.
If scripture is correct, and I believe it is, that in Christ there is neither male, nor female, Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, then I have nothing to worry about, those labels do not define me, nor do they entrap me.
Blessings,
Ed
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Reflections for 11/17/10
"Shame an honor are, in fact, moral values in the culture Jesus lived in. In other words, retaliation was the rule of Jewish culture. Not to retaliate would be immoral because you would not be maintaining your honor. You must be true to the honor of your village, your family, yourself to be a good first-century Jew."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p.371)
While not disagreeing with Fr. Rohr's assessment of first century Palestine, I do not believe much has changed.
As a kid, I can remember that someone saying something about my mother, would be "fighting words." I wonder if honor somehow gets confused with personal pride? There are honorable actions that we can take, one's that reflect well on the positive aspects of being a human being. Honor for me should be something that I might receive not something I need to protect.
The Boy Scout Oath, begins with the phrase "on my honor, I will do my best." Honor again not being something to protect, but something that supports my need to do my best.
Jesus' teaching about turning the other cheek is a radical departure from the retaliation in protecting honor. And it is still a hard message to hear in our day.
We live in a society that often reflects the "eye for eye" mentality.
Much of our need for "honor" has more to do with our own self assessment rather than the reality of who we are.
As a person of faith, I believe firmly in being part of the creation that God said is "good." It is an honor to be trusted enough as a steward of creation and to be seen as a beloved child that way. It is a shame when I don't live fully into that original blessing.
Blessings,
Ed
While not disagreeing with Fr. Rohr's assessment of first century Palestine, I do not believe much has changed.
As a kid, I can remember that someone saying something about my mother, would be "fighting words." I wonder if honor somehow gets confused with personal pride? There are honorable actions that we can take, one's that reflect well on the positive aspects of being a human being. Honor for me should be something that I might receive not something I need to protect.
The Boy Scout Oath, begins with the phrase "on my honor, I will do my best." Honor again not being something to protect, but something that supports my need to do my best.
Jesus' teaching about turning the other cheek is a radical departure from the retaliation in protecting honor. And it is still a hard message to hear in our day.
We live in a society that often reflects the "eye for eye" mentality.
Much of our need for "honor" has more to do with our own self assessment rather than the reality of who we are.
As a person of faith, I believe firmly in being part of the creation that God said is "good." It is an honor to be trusted enough as a steward of creation and to be seen as a beloved child that way. It is a shame when I don't live fully into that original blessing.
Blessings,
Ed
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Reflections for 11/16/10
"And a woman-at least a woman who has had a child-understands something I will never understand: the connection between pain and life."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p.370)
I, like Fr. Rohr, do not have a clue about the pain of child birth. I may have been a little closer to the pain, because unlike Fr. Rohr I'm a daddy. I was at the birth of both of my sons, a truly awe inspiring moment.
My eldest took forever to arrive, eventually coming via C-Section, but for 18 hours I did sit with my beloved as she tried to give birth. Holding her hand, getting her water, being as present as I could for this part of bringing life into the world, as I was when it was created.
Bringing life into the world is hard. Hard physically for the woman, hard emotionally for both male and female. So much uncertainty while it is all happening. So much feeling of powerlessness. And yet when it was over, that little creature, was actually there. A child hoped for and soon to be loved.
And of course neither his mother nor I knew what was to happen for the next 16 years. I assure you there were painful moments that are just a part of life as a parent. Probably be more before I die.
I wonder if there truly can be a life fully lived that is pain free. Somehow I sincerely doubt it.
Blessings,
Ed
I, like Fr. Rohr, do not have a clue about the pain of child birth. I may have been a little closer to the pain, because unlike Fr. Rohr I'm a daddy. I was at the birth of both of my sons, a truly awe inspiring moment.
My eldest took forever to arrive, eventually coming via C-Section, but for 18 hours I did sit with my beloved as she tried to give birth. Holding her hand, getting her water, being as present as I could for this part of bringing life into the world, as I was when it was created.
Bringing life into the world is hard. Hard physically for the woman, hard emotionally for both male and female. So much uncertainty while it is all happening. So much feeling of powerlessness. And yet when it was over, that little creature, was actually there. A child hoped for and soon to be loved.
And of course neither his mother nor I knew what was to happen for the next 16 years. I assure you there were painful moments that are just a part of life as a parent. Probably be more before I die.
I wonder if there truly can be a life fully lived that is pain free. Somehow I sincerely doubt it.
Blessings,
Ed
Monday, November 15, 2010
Reflections for 11/15/10
"If you've had a moment in your life when you finally get the point, when a world is let go of, they you understands this text. We cannot welcome the new world order until we let go of the old. The illusion is that we can have both."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p.370)
I've probably had more than one "a-ha" moment in my life. Those times when everything seems quite clear, doors are opened, paths illumined etc. I've also found that those moments of clarity do not always last, or disappear before I have a chance to truly act upon them.
The text that Fr. Rohr speaks of is Jesus' prediction that the temple will be destroyed. Those who heard the story in the later part of the 1st century, knew that this in fact had happened. The ah-ha being that the world to which they were accustomed had been violently overthrown, not by Jesus, but by the Romans.
When huge paradigm shifts occur that old adage of hindsight being 20/20 kicks in. I'm able to see all that led up to the shift clearer after the fact, than while it was occurring.
Most of the time I find it hard to let go of cherished things of the past, that are no longer working for me. I suppose like many I want to have every choice to be getting it both ways. This is rarely possible, and probably not healthy. What I need is a greater clarity as to how the shift helps me, and to grasp it in a way that doesn't leave me feeling poorer.
Blessings,
Ed
I've probably had more than one "a-ha" moment in my life. Those times when everything seems quite clear, doors are opened, paths illumined etc. I've also found that those moments of clarity do not always last, or disappear before I have a chance to truly act upon them.
The text that Fr. Rohr speaks of is Jesus' prediction that the temple will be destroyed. Those who heard the story in the later part of the 1st century, knew that this in fact had happened. The ah-ha being that the world to which they were accustomed had been violently overthrown, not by Jesus, but by the Romans.
When huge paradigm shifts occur that old adage of hindsight being 20/20 kicks in. I'm able to see all that led up to the shift clearer after the fact, than while it was occurring.
Most of the time I find it hard to let go of cherished things of the past, that are no longer working for me. I suppose like many I want to have every choice to be getting it both ways. This is rarely possible, and probably not healthy. What I need is a greater clarity as to how the shift helps me, and to grasp it in a way that doesn't leave me feeling poorer.
Blessings,
Ed
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Reflections for 11/14/10
"But Jesus' new world order is, first of all, utterly subverting the old world order. He doesn't even bother to fight it, and this is what makes the people so furious. He just ignores it. That is utterly subversive."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p.368)
Most modern folk do not consider the Christian faith as being subversive. It is not an unfair critique, since we have been in lock step with the powers and principalities of our day for quite some time.
While I'm no advocate for the complete overthrow of anything, government, church or society, I think there is something to be said for being a change agent within the structure.
I recall being told by a long time parishioner that "something had changed, but they weren't sure what." I took that to mean that they could tell that the church was different, but it had not become a please notice this moment, so that you can react before seeing what might become. I like to change structures one brick at a time, so that change can happen without causing too much push back. Makes me a little bit wimpy perhaps, but I get things done.
And even while I have said that I don't call for the overthrow of much, I do find that I will just ignore authority, not in an obnoxious way, I just don't feel called to draw attention to myself.
The vision for what could be as presented by Jesus, was subversive, and perhaps if we took a deeper look we might find that it still could be.
Blessings,
Ed
Most modern folk do not consider the Christian faith as being subversive. It is not an unfair critique, since we have been in lock step with the powers and principalities of our day for quite some time.
While I'm no advocate for the complete overthrow of anything, government, church or society, I think there is something to be said for being a change agent within the structure.
I recall being told by a long time parishioner that "something had changed, but they weren't sure what." I took that to mean that they could tell that the church was different, but it had not become a please notice this moment, so that you can react before seeing what might become. I like to change structures one brick at a time, so that change can happen without causing too much push back. Makes me a little bit wimpy perhaps, but I get things done.
And even while I have said that I don't call for the overthrow of much, I do find that I will just ignore authority, not in an obnoxious way, I just don't feel called to draw attention to myself.
The vision for what could be as presented by Jesus, was subversive, and perhaps if we took a deeper look we might find that it still could be.
Blessings,
Ed
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Reflections for 11/13/10
"Love is a practical decision to act on what is-and for what is."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 368)
Love is certainly a word that gets used a lot. It is often spontaneously blurted out. It sometimes takes a while to develop. It is certainly something that when absent from our lives, leaves a fairly nasty mark.
Certainly when I love someone or something, there is very little that I won't do for them. Even though Meatloaf sang that he "would do anything for love, but he wouldn't do that," I have yet to figure what "that" is when it comes to people I love.
I try not to delay when acting on something that will affect those that I love. Those people, places and things are what are in my present. They are what call for me to do something for them, out of love.
I certainly have experienced that love is a choice. Just as much as hate is a choice. I know which choice usually works out better for me.
Blessings,
Ed
Love is certainly a word that gets used a lot. It is often spontaneously blurted out. It sometimes takes a while to develop. It is certainly something that when absent from our lives, leaves a fairly nasty mark.
Certainly when I love someone or something, there is very little that I won't do for them. Even though Meatloaf sang that he "would do anything for love, but he wouldn't do that," I have yet to figure what "that" is when it comes to people I love.
I try not to delay when acting on something that will affect those that I love. Those people, places and things are what are in my present. They are what call for me to do something for them, out of love.
I certainly have experienced that love is a choice. Just as much as hate is a choice. I know which choice usually works out better for me.
Blessings,
Ed
Friday, November 12, 2010
Reflections for 11/12/10
"There's no pain on this earth like the pain of rejection."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p.367)
Most people have heard the phrase "no pain, no gain." This of course is usually said in gymnasiums and in other athletic endeavors. And that is true. I know that when I come back from the gym and when I recall my more athletic days, my body would hurt until it got used to being used.
There is of course also the pain that one can get when we have been hurt physically do to an accident or an illness. The hope with that is that time and proper medical care will take care of that pain.
I've been told by mothers that giving birth to a child is incredibly painful, but of course in the end hopefully quite joyful.
But the pain of rejection is a different sort. It is of course an emotional pain, a memory that can last quite a lifetime. Maybe there are lessons to be learned from it, but that does not take away the hurt.
Every break up with a "girlfriend" at some time in my life has hurt. Being told "it is not about you" didn't help. I lucked out with college applications and didn't get those thin letters of rejection. I started getting those when I entered the job market. And I still get them today. The dejection of the thin letter is never easy to overcome. I just keep doing what I need to do in my current place.
I'm certainly glad that my life has not just been about rejections. I have a person in my life who didn't reject me. I have a job where I am still valued.
I would prefer to never be rejected again. However the only way to avoid that is to never risk. And that would make for a very dull life.
Blessings,
Ed
Most people have heard the phrase "no pain, no gain." This of course is usually said in gymnasiums and in other athletic endeavors. And that is true. I know that when I come back from the gym and when I recall my more athletic days, my body would hurt until it got used to being used.
There is of course also the pain that one can get when we have been hurt physically do to an accident or an illness. The hope with that is that time and proper medical care will take care of that pain.
I've been told by mothers that giving birth to a child is incredibly painful, but of course in the end hopefully quite joyful.
But the pain of rejection is a different sort. It is of course an emotional pain, a memory that can last quite a lifetime. Maybe there are lessons to be learned from it, but that does not take away the hurt.
Every break up with a "girlfriend" at some time in my life has hurt. Being told "it is not about you" didn't help. I lucked out with college applications and didn't get those thin letters of rejection. I started getting those when I entered the job market. And I still get them today. The dejection of the thin letter is never easy to overcome. I just keep doing what I need to do in my current place.
I'm certainly glad that my life has not just been about rejections. I have a person in my life who didn't reject me. I have a job where I am still valued.
I would prefer to never be rejected again. However the only way to avoid that is to never risk. And that would make for a very dull life.
Blessings,
Ed
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Reflections for 11/11/10
"We share as Christians in the eternal fate of God: not to succeed, to be poor and often to look foolish and defenseless. Once you say, 'I love you,' you stand foolish and exposed until the other says, 'I love you, too.' such is the fate of God."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 366-67)
I don't wish to relive unpleasant memories, but most of us have probably at some point in our lives, risked the words "I love you," to someone we're dating and have them not return the sentiment. That first rejection can often haunt us for a long time.
No matter how many times it happens to us, and hopefully it isn't often, it still stings. Yet somehow we are called to risk those words all the time.
Even in my 20 plus years of marriage, it is still important to say those words aloud to my wife. Even if I believe she knows it to be true, even if my actions should indicate it, they are words that are important to be said and heard.
In all of our most important relationships, family, friends and for some of us God, it is important to say those words. It is even more incredible to hear them said to us as well.
Blessings,
Ed
I don't wish to relive unpleasant memories, but most of us have probably at some point in our lives, risked the words "I love you," to someone we're dating and have them not return the sentiment. That first rejection can often haunt us for a long time.
No matter how many times it happens to us, and hopefully it isn't often, it still stings. Yet somehow we are called to risk those words all the time.
Even in my 20 plus years of marriage, it is still important to say those words aloud to my wife. Even if I believe she knows it to be true, even if my actions should indicate it, they are words that are important to be said and heard.
In all of our most important relationships, family, friends and for some of us God, it is important to say those words. It is even more incredible to hear them said to us as well.
Blessings,
Ed
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Reflections for 11/10/10
"How, then, do you become pure? By letting someone see and love the truth in you, by letting them see all of you. It's those who know you only partially who don't like you. I've never known anyone who really shared all of their story with me whom I could not love. When you know only the partial truth, you can see them as despicable. When you know the whole picture, people are always lovable, somehow, and purity is regained. One sees with thep pure eyes of god, where all is tranparent, understood and forgive."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p.366)
One of my favorite movies is "Shrek." In that movie my favorite scene is when he and donkey are walking and this conversation occurs. "Shrek: For your information, there's a lot more to ogres than people think.
Donkey: Example?
Shrek: Example... uh... ogres are like onions!
[holds up an onion, which Donkey sniffs]
Donkey: They stink?
Shrek: Yes... No!
Donkey: Oh, they make you cry?
Shrek: No!
Donkey: Oh, you leave 'em out in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin' little white hairs...
Shrek: [peels an onion] NO! Layers. Onions have layers. Ogres have layers. Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers.
[walks off]
Donkey: Oh, you both have LAYERS. Oh. You know, not everybody like onions. What about cake? Everybody loves cake!
Shrek: I don't care what everyone else likes! Ogres are not like cakes.
Donkey: You know what ELSE everybody likes? Parfaits! Have you ever met a person, you say, "Let's get some parfait," they say, "Hell no, I don't like no parfait"? Parfaits are delicious!
Shrek: NO! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Ogres are like onions! End of story! Bye-bye! See ya later.
Donkey: Parfait's gotta be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet!"
Most of us are like onions or parfaits if you prefer. When people can get past me being a priest, or at least their stereotype of what that may be, there's a lot more to me personally than that. I'll admit it is an important part, but it is not the end of the description. I also like sports, loud music and camping. I can laugh at most jokes and I have problems like any normal human being.
I don't personally enjoy being dismissed because of what I do to earn a living. I try very hard to get to know a person for more than just my first impression. And certainly not through the eyes of any preconceived notions of what "that type of person" might be.
It is not easy. Much quicker to conclude that I know all I need to know about you based on some aspect of you. But not nearly as rewarding.
Blessings,
Ed
One of my favorite movies is "Shrek." In that movie my favorite scene is when he and donkey are walking and this conversation occurs. "Shrek: For your information, there's a lot more to ogres than people think.
Donkey: Example?
Shrek: Example... uh... ogres are like onions!
[holds up an onion, which Donkey sniffs]
Donkey: They stink?
Shrek: Yes... No!
Donkey: Oh, they make you cry?
Shrek: No!
Donkey: Oh, you leave 'em out in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin' little white hairs...
Shrek: [peels an onion] NO! Layers. Onions have layers. Ogres have layers. Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers.
[walks off]
Donkey: Oh, you both have LAYERS. Oh. You know, not everybody like onions. What about cake? Everybody loves cake!
Shrek: I don't care what everyone else likes! Ogres are not like cakes.
Donkey: You know what ELSE everybody likes? Parfaits! Have you ever met a person, you say, "Let's get some parfait," they say, "Hell no, I don't like no parfait"? Parfaits are delicious!
Shrek: NO! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Ogres are like onions! End of story! Bye-bye! See ya later.
Donkey: Parfait's gotta be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet!"
Most of us are like onions or parfaits if you prefer. When people can get past me being a priest, or at least their stereotype of what that may be, there's a lot more to me personally than that. I'll admit it is an important part, but it is not the end of the description. I also like sports, loud music and camping. I can laugh at most jokes and I have problems like any normal human being.
I don't personally enjoy being dismissed because of what I do to earn a living. I try very hard to get to know a person for more than just my first impression. And certainly not through the eyes of any preconceived notions of what "that type of person" might be.
It is not easy. Much quicker to conclude that I know all I need to know about you based on some aspect of you. But not nearly as rewarding.
Blessings,
Ed
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Reflections for 11/9/10
"Our sexual drive is no morality test from God. It is God teaching us we're not whole within ourselves, that we must be in relationship. And God pulls us out of ourselves by every means possible. Without sexuality we would live private, antiseptic lives-and the world would be cold."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p.365)
I'll have to admit I like sex. I'll also happen to admit that I only like sex in the context of my relationship with my wife. We of course live in a world that is saturated with sexual images, explicit and subtle. It is very hard to make good decisions around sex, when it is everywhere.
We know that life would cease if it weren't for sex, procreation is often the intended by product of it. Sometimes of course it is an unintended by product, and in our world today you can almost avoid it.
What has yet to be fully developed is a healthy theology of sex. I've had a few classes in seminary on the topic, but it really is a not an easy topic to discuss. The world seems to believe that the only message faith communities have is that sex is a part of our "fallen nature" and to be avoided at all costs. This is an insane stance on a lot of different levels and frankly has never worked.
What would happen if we started our theological discussion with the premise that sex is a gift from God. Instead of an indication of our sin. We might then be able to start creating healthier boundaries and attitudes towards this gift. It would no longer be something to be ashamed of, but at the same time not something to be exploited or abused.
Sex may be the ultimate way of expressing one's love for another person. We might want to be clearer about knowing when we've really found that person.
Blessings,
Ed
I'll have to admit I like sex. I'll also happen to admit that I only like sex in the context of my relationship with my wife. We of course live in a world that is saturated with sexual images, explicit and subtle. It is very hard to make good decisions around sex, when it is everywhere.
We know that life would cease if it weren't for sex, procreation is often the intended by product of it. Sometimes of course it is an unintended by product, and in our world today you can almost avoid it.
What has yet to be fully developed is a healthy theology of sex. I've had a few classes in seminary on the topic, but it really is a not an easy topic to discuss. The world seems to believe that the only message faith communities have is that sex is a part of our "fallen nature" and to be avoided at all costs. This is an insane stance on a lot of different levels and frankly has never worked.
What would happen if we started our theological discussion with the premise that sex is a gift from God. Instead of an indication of our sin. We might then be able to start creating healthier boundaries and attitudes towards this gift. It would no longer be something to be ashamed of, but at the same time not something to be exploited or abused.
Sex may be the ultimate way of expressing one's love for another person. We might want to be clearer about knowing when we've really found that person.
Blessings,
Ed
Monday, November 8, 2010
Reflections for 11/8/10
"One of the big myths in our culture is that marriage is the answer to one's problems. Instead, I'm told, marriage reveals one's problems. The people who enjoy marriage are those who first have learned to live life itself. You can't create intimacy without identity."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p.364)
Part of the job description of being clergy is pre-marital counseling. I certainly have done plenty of these sessions. I even have what is called a pre-marriage inventory, which is basically a multiple choice questionnaire which forms the basis for our conversations the rest of the time. One of the questions is actually, a yes or no and asks, "I am solving some problems by getting married." Even if the answer is yes, that doesn't mean you shouldn't get married, but it means you might want to address the how and the why.
I have also met couples for whom I'm not as certain that they know who they are as individuals and I get a little anxious about their future. That's a lot of work to do, self-discovery, while simultaneously figuring out what it means to be a couple.
The "Unity Candle" which is sometimes used in Episcopal Wedding services, and certainly in Roman Catholic ones, has some interesting theological statements being made. I tell couples who want to have them, that it is okay, but please don't blow the two candles out after lighting the "unity" one. If you blow the two out you are saying, symbolically, I know longer exist.
While all of this is true in marriage, I believe it is true when we enter into any relationship, work, church, college, friendships. How with all my strengths and weaknesses will I fit in here. Is this a relationship where I can flourish, or will I flounder because I don't know me.
When we have a healthy sense of self, we know where we belong and with whom we belong,
Blessings,
Ed
Part of the job description of being clergy is pre-marital counseling. I certainly have done plenty of these sessions. I even have what is called a pre-marriage inventory, which is basically a multiple choice questionnaire which forms the basis for our conversations the rest of the time. One of the questions is actually, a yes or no and asks, "I am solving some problems by getting married." Even if the answer is yes, that doesn't mean you shouldn't get married, but it means you might want to address the how and the why.
I have also met couples for whom I'm not as certain that they know who they are as individuals and I get a little anxious about their future. That's a lot of work to do, self-discovery, while simultaneously figuring out what it means to be a couple.
The "Unity Candle" which is sometimes used in Episcopal Wedding services, and certainly in Roman Catholic ones, has some interesting theological statements being made. I tell couples who want to have them, that it is okay, but please don't blow the two candles out after lighting the "unity" one. If you blow the two out you are saying, symbolically, I know longer exist.
While all of this is true in marriage, I believe it is true when we enter into any relationship, work, church, college, friendships. How with all my strengths and weaknesses will I fit in here. Is this a relationship where I can flourish, or will I flounder because I don't know me.
When we have a healthy sense of self, we know where we belong and with whom we belong,
Blessings,
Ed
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Reflections for 11/7/10
" The natural family and the spiritual family seem to need one another for correct image, focus and direction. The natural family without the spiritual family becomes isolated, insulated, inbred and without vision. The spiritual family (the Church) without the natural family has become cold, ideological, impersonal, task oriented and unable to carry out its purposes."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 363)
Today, we had two baptisms at church. I love baptisms. Families gather for a happy occasion. The gift of a child being celebrated in the context of community. Both babies that were baptized this morning have been regular attendees before today. There was no "getting the kid done." In many ways they were surrounded by 100 other grandparents, uncles, aunts, and siblings.
I've been blessed to have both good natural families and good spiritual ones. Not perfect mind you, but still strong enough to bring about real growth.
It is easy to get trapped into everything being about the kids, or even about church. The true balance is when both are feeding each other.
I try to create a spiritual home where the natural families can be together for a time and see themselves in a larger context.
I think when the spiritual family loses sight of its need to serve others, in this case families, and cannot adapt to the changing needs of these folks, it is signing its own death warrant. The struggle is to keep our core identity as a spiritual family while meeting the changing needs of the natural families that come through our doors.
Blessings,
Ed
Today, we had two baptisms at church. I love baptisms. Families gather for a happy occasion. The gift of a child being celebrated in the context of community. Both babies that were baptized this morning have been regular attendees before today. There was no "getting the kid done." In many ways they were surrounded by 100 other grandparents, uncles, aunts, and siblings.
I've been blessed to have both good natural families and good spiritual ones. Not perfect mind you, but still strong enough to bring about real growth.
It is easy to get trapped into everything being about the kids, or even about church. The true balance is when both are feeding each other.
I try to create a spiritual home where the natural families can be together for a time and see themselves in a larger context.
I think when the spiritual family loses sight of its need to serve others, in this case families, and cannot adapt to the changing needs of these folks, it is signing its own death warrant. The struggle is to keep our core identity as a spiritual family while meeting the changing needs of the natural families that come through our doors.
Blessings,
Ed
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Reflections for 11/6/10
"Sin might also be described as a culture of blindness, a pattern of agreed-upon lies. It's a system that people get trapped in; We all tell the same lie, and therefore, it isn't a lie anymore. Sin is when life freezes and truth hides out of fear. It's when self--interest tells us what to remember and what to forget."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 362)
I have heard lots of definitions of "sin" but this was a new one for me. I'll admit I don't spend a whole lot of my waking time worrying about sin. Certainly not other people's. I probably do spend an appropriate amount of time worrying about the log in my own eye.
I do wonder about my capacity for self deception. If I keep telling myself everything is fine, is it actually? If I tell myself that I don't worry about the future, does that really mean that I'm not anxious or nervous? Are there other less than idea aspects of me, that I just ignore, because it's less painful to look at.
I try to keep my life moving, to not get stuck, but there are times when it feels like I'm riding a bike in a mud puddle. I also understand that fear of the unknown, the fear of taking a risk because it might not work.
I also know how easy it is to have selective memory and amnesia. To highlight all the wonderful things I've done, and brush away those times that I've messed up.
The good news, at least for me, is those times do not get to be the final answer as to who I am and what I'm about. That's where forgiveness walks in. When I'm finally ready to face the man in the mirror.
Blessings,
Ed
I have heard lots of definitions of "sin" but this was a new one for me. I'll admit I don't spend a whole lot of my waking time worrying about sin. Certainly not other people's. I probably do spend an appropriate amount of time worrying about the log in my own eye.
I do wonder about my capacity for self deception. If I keep telling myself everything is fine, is it actually? If I tell myself that I don't worry about the future, does that really mean that I'm not anxious or nervous? Are there other less than idea aspects of me, that I just ignore, because it's less painful to look at.
I try to keep my life moving, to not get stuck, but there are times when it feels like I'm riding a bike in a mud puddle. I also understand that fear of the unknown, the fear of taking a risk because it might not work.
I also know how easy it is to have selective memory and amnesia. To highlight all the wonderful things I've done, and brush away those times that I've messed up.
The good news, at least for me, is those times do not get to be the final answer as to who I am and what I'm about. That's where forgiveness walks in. When I'm finally ready to face the man in the mirror.
Blessings,
Ed
Friday, November 5, 2010
Reflections for 11/5/10
"The axis the world moves on is changing. It's not asking the same questions, and invariably it's not going to come up with the same answers."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 361)
There's a flip statement that goes something like "Just when you think you have all the answers, we change the questions." A hard aspect of living in the era that we live in is that change happens so quickly that we feel like we are constantly playing catch up. Just when we think we have the latest technology it is obsolete, seemingly overnight.
We also know more of what's going on in the world thanks to 24/7 news and satellites. We can no longer say we don't know what's going on. Though we certainly can choose not to know.
Even our understandings of who has power, and what actually power is, changes as well.
One thing that is true as a more global perspective takes over almost every aspect of life, we are forced to at least acknowledge the different questions that the those from the 2/3 world are asking. What works in America and Europe may not actually work everywhere. Our answers may not even be addressing their questions. No wonder we seem so confused and conflicted.
Within our own context, are our children's questions the same as ours? I think the basic questions are the same, but there's a lot of extra stuff that complicates the answers.
Perhaps what all of this is calling for, is a greater amount of listening, looking and thinking. Not just going with what always works as our first response.
Blessings,
Ed
There's a flip statement that goes something like "Just when you think you have all the answers, we change the questions." A hard aspect of living in the era that we live in is that change happens so quickly that we feel like we are constantly playing catch up. Just when we think we have the latest technology it is obsolete, seemingly overnight.
We also know more of what's going on in the world thanks to 24/7 news and satellites. We can no longer say we don't know what's going on. Though we certainly can choose not to know.
Even our understandings of who has power, and what actually power is, changes as well.
One thing that is true as a more global perspective takes over almost every aspect of life, we are forced to at least acknowledge the different questions that the those from the 2/3 world are asking. What works in America and Europe may not actually work everywhere. Our answers may not even be addressing their questions. No wonder we seem so confused and conflicted.
Within our own context, are our children's questions the same as ours? I think the basic questions are the same, but there's a lot of extra stuff that complicates the answers.
Perhaps what all of this is calling for, is a greater amount of listening, looking and thinking. Not just going with what always works as our first response.
Blessings,
Ed
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Reflections for 11/4/10
"In a culture of affluence, people don't necessarily lose the desire to do good. It's worse than that. They don't even recognize the good anymore. They become spiritually blind. They wouldn't recognize true moral goodness if it were in front of them."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p.359)
As I looked at this quote, I tried to remember when he wrote it originally. I believe it was sometime in the 80's. I was a teenager in the 80's and would have to say that it was coming off an era of true self indulgence, the late 70's.
If you've ever seen the VH1 show "I love the 80's" you start to have flashbacks as to the kind of mentality we as a people, yes I know sweeping generalization, had.
It was about being noticed, but not for what you did to improve the world, but what you did to get noticed.
Here in 2010, while we slowly come out of a recession, where we just had an election that showed how afraid we are of our economic future, it is hard to see ourselves as an affluent people, even though we still are comparatively speaking.
But I'm also not sure that anything is really all that different. Was there really a time when people sought the common good, and where charity was a natural response to the world's situations. Or has the human condition always made us look out for #1? If the only good we can see is what's good for me, then Fr. Rohr is regrettably right. If there is however the possibility of knowing that the common good still needs to be paid attention to, then there might be hope.
Blessings,
Ed
As I looked at this quote, I tried to remember when he wrote it originally. I believe it was sometime in the 80's. I was a teenager in the 80's and would have to say that it was coming off an era of true self indulgence, the late 70's.
If you've ever seen the VH1 show "I love the 80's" you start to have flashbacks as to the kind of mentality we as a people, yes I know sweeping generalization, had.
It was about being noticed, but not for what you did to improve the world, but what you did to get noticed.
Here in 2010, while we slowly come out of a recession, where we just had an election that showed how afraid we are of our economic future, it is hard to see ourselves as an affluent people, even though we still are comparatively speaking.
But I'm also not sure that anything is really all that different. Was there really a time when people sought the common good, and where charity was a natural response to the world's situations. Or has the human condition always made us look out for #1? If the only good we can see is what's good for me, then Fr. Rohr is regrettably right. If there is however the possibility of knowing that the common good still needs to be paid attention to, then there might be hope.
Blessings,
Ed
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Reflections for 11/3/10
"I suspect we actually are stunted and paralyzed by having too many options. We are no longer the developed world; we are the overdeveloped world."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 258)
I was a tour guide for the admissions office of my college. It is probably where I got the original career notion that I wanted to work in college admissions. I remember giving a tour on which a father asked me the usual question "What is your major?" I responded "I'm a History major." Too which he responded "What are you going to do with that?" Too which, being the quick whit, I responded, "anything I want."
I will admit that I love options, choices etc. Or I should say I like having them. I'm actually not all that good at deciding, but the contemplation of the options is really quite fun for me.
When I went off to college, I believed I wanted to be a lawyer. I took to Political Science classes and that was the end of that. As I related above, I then explored the possibility of a career in college admissions. And in fact my first job after graduation was in that field. What I discovered after 6 months was that it wasn't the wide open field of College Admissions at any college or university that I sought, but the dream to be at my college doing it.
While I have been in my current position for almost 15 years, I continue to fight issues of restlessness, of thinking there are other options, in my case parishes, out there, instead of enjoying a feeling of arriving and being where I'm supposed to be.
I doubt we can ever fully feel a sense of completion and wholeness in a lifetime. Might be possible for some, but I know that it is a real challenge for me. Life has become like a metaphorical super market. That if I don't go into it with a shopping list, I can get overwhelmed pretty easily.
Blessings,
Ed
I was a tour guide for the admissions office of my college. It is probably where I got the original career notion that I wanted to work in college admissions. I remember giving a tour on which a father asked me the usual question "What is your major?" I responded "I'm a History major." Too which he responded "What are you going to do with that?" Too which, being the quick whit, I responded, "anything I want."
I will admit that I love options, choices etc. Or I should say I like having them. I'm actually not all that good at deciding, but the contemplation of the options is really quite fun for me.
When I went off to college, I believed I wanted to be a lawyer. I took to Political Science classes and that was the end of that. As I related above, I then explored the possibility of a career in college admissions. And in fact my first job after graduation was in that field. What I discovered after 6 months was that it wasn't the wide open field of College Admissions at any college or university that I sought, but the dream to be at my college doing it.
While I have been in my current position for almost 15 years, I continue to fight issues of restlessness, of thinking there are other options, in my case parishes, out there, instead of enjoying a feeling of arriving and being where I'm supposed to be.
I doubt we can ever fully feel a sense of completion and wholeness in a lifetime. Might be possible for some, but I know that it is a real challenge for me. Life has become like a metaphorical super market. That if I don't go into it with a shopping list, I can get overwhelmed pretty easily.
Blessings,
Ed
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Reflections for 11/2/10
"The more I travel, the more it becomes evident that it is culture which finally and firmly forms our attitudes-so deeply that we don't recognize them as chosen attitudes. It is an emotional seeing that is not easily challenged or overcome. How will God ever make unity out of our extraordinary diversity? Especially when each culture is so committed to its own pair of glasses."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 357)
I have not traveled as much as Fr. Rohr probably has. First he's older than me, second he's a celibate Franciscan Priest, no family to tie him down. I have however lived and visited different parts of our country, and will have to say, I think he's correct.
I know first hand how radically different life is in Iowa as compared to New Jersey. I went to college in Iowa for four years. I consider them some of the best years of my life. I attribute it to the more relaxed pace of life. Had I stayed in the hectic pace of New Jersey all my life, I'm pretty sure my blood pressure would be off the charts.
I also have roots in the South, Tennessee and North Carolina specifically and I again know that there is a radical difference in view point between them and what I get in New Jersey. There are aspects of Southern life that I personally like, yet my own NE liberal biases, are easily exposed in that climate.
Why even in my home state and current state, New Jersey, there is a cultural divide between North and South. All of it based on the major Metropolitan area which filters the news. NYC in the North, Philadelphia in the South. I grew up in the northern part of the state, I've lived my adult life in the southern part, so I know what I'm talking about.
I also know from those times when my viewpoint has changed how much easier it is to adapt oneself to the culture of an area. I get a southern dialect after 2 weeks.
Maybe it's because I'm fairly flexible and enjoy people enough that I will to a certain extent become one with the land. There are some values I won't give up, because those lenses have served me well. But I also know that sometimes they can get even more focused or perhaps clarified, when they are no longer the majority view.
Blessings,
Ed
I have not traveled as much as Fr. Rohr probably has. First he's older than me, second he's a celibate Franciscan Priest, no family to tie him down. I have however lived and visited different parts of our country, and will have to say, I think he's correct.
I know first hand how radically different life is in Iowa as compared to New Jersey. I went to college in Iowa for four years. I consider them some of the best years of my life. I attribute it to the more relaxed pace of life. Had I stayed in the hectic pace of New Jersey all my life, I'm pretty sure my blood pressure would be off the charts.
I also have roots in the South, Tennessee and North Carolina specifically and I again know that there is a radical difference in view point between them and what I get in New Jersey. There are aspects of Southern life that I personally like, yet my own NE liberal biases, are easily exposed in that climate.
Why even in my home state and current state, New Jersey, there is a cultural divide between North and South. All of it based on the major Metropolitan area which filters the news. NYC in the North, Philadelphia in the South. I grew up in the northern part of the state, I've lived my adult life in the southern part, so I know what I'm talking about.
I also know from those times when my viewpoint has changed how much easier it is to adapt oneself to the culture of an area. I get a southern dialect after 2 weeks.
Maybe it's because I'm fairly flexible and enjoy people enough that I will to a certain extent become one with the land. There are some values I won't give up, because those lenses have served me well. But I also know that sometimes they can get even more focused or perhaps clarified, when they are no longer the majority view.
Blessings,
Ed
Monday, November 1, 2010
Reflections for 11/1/10
"When you talk negatively you invest in your negativism. You justify it, and it becomes harder to avoid. The most nasty and irrational judgments I have received from people have often followed upon a negative bull-session."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 356)
It has been my experience that when I'm feeling negative that just about every aspect of my life follows down that path. It is also true that when I'm feeling positive about something, many other parts of life follow suit as well.
I generally try to keep a positive outlook, but I'm not always successful. It is usually when I can feel the negativism taking over every aspect that I hit the brakes and begin to ask myself what's really going on. Is my angry response in proportion to the situation? If not what else is going on?
I often find that what I may be presenting as the negative problem is really masking something else.
I also know that when the negativity comes off of a meeting it's best to not bring it home. Why does my family deserve to be sucked into that mire to which they had no role in.
We all know when we've been around truly negative people, it's quite draining. When we are fortunate enough to be around positive people, folks who see things as good and possible, the world is a radically different place.
Blessings,
Ed
It has been my experience that when I'm feeling negative that just about every aspect of my life follows down that path. It is also true that when I'm feeling positive about something, many other parts of life follow suit as well.
I generally try to keep a positive outlook, but I'm not always successful. It is usually when I can feel the negativism taking over every aspect that I hit the brakes and begin to ask myself what's really going on. Is my angry response in proportion to the situation? If not what else is going on?
I often find that what I may be presenting as the negative problem is really masking something else.
I also know that when the negativity comes off of a meeting it's best to not bring it home. Why does my family deserve to be sucked into that mire to which they had no role in.
We all know when we've been around truly negative people, it's quite draining. When we are fortunate enough to be around positive people, folks who see things as good and possible, the world is a radically different place.
Blessings,
Ed
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Reflections for 10/31/10
"Our Western tradition has given us an individualistic private salvation, without a support system for us to believe in it, or for us finally to see the resurrected power that comes from it."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 355)
There are times that I feel very torn between my need for community and my need to go it alone. Actually it is not all that complex. I happen to love being with people. I yearn to fit in. I'm not really very good at being alone. Yet at the same time I have had more than one experience of being in a crowded room and feeling like I was invisible.
I know the power of being in community. I've had definite experiences of it. Being part of the wrestling team in high school felt that way. Though High School was also a very lonely time interior for me. I felt it in college, yet some of what I needed could not be filled do to a choice I'd made. I've felt it at other times as well.
I know that scripture says I'm to work out my own salvation with fear and trembling, but that for me does not mean that I do it in isolation from others. How that salvation is worked out is unique, what makes it work is a community within which to test it.
I think this is true of most self-actualization. If the only person we have to reflect on who we are is ourselves, we will in fact be deceived. In true community where we are free to express our feelings and thoughts and be heard in love by others and have constructive criticism come our way, the true person hood and the real image of God emerges.
Blessings,
Ed
There are times that I feel very torn between my need for community and my need to go it alone. Actually it is not all that complex. I happen to love being with people. I yearn to fit in. I'm not really very good at being alone. Yet at the same time I have had more than one experience of being in a crowded room and feeling like I was invisible.
I know the power of being in community. I've had definite experiences of it. Being part of the wrestling team in high school felt that way. Though High School was also a very lonely time interior for me. I felt it in college, yet some of what I needed could not be filled do to a choice I'd made. I've felt it at other times as well.
I know that scripture says I'm to work out my own salvation with fear and trembling, but that for me does not mean that I do it in isolation from others. How that salvation is worked out is unique, what makes it work is a community within which to test it.
I think this is true of most self-actualization. If the only person we have to reflect on who we are is ourselves, we will in fact be deceived. In true community where we are free to express our feelings and thoughts and be heard in love by others and have constructive criticism come our way, the true person hood and the real image of God emerges.
Blessings,
Ed
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Reflections for 10/30/10
"We rail against that and fight it every day becasue there's a very large part of us that wants the the world to be right and wants the world to be perfect in a way it will never be. Andy maybe it doesn't need to be."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 354)
When I think of the things that frustrate me, most tie into a lack of perfection and a lack of things being the way I would want them to be.
That frustration is for the most part a judgement on myself. I do not like the feeling that I can't make everything right, or that very little in life is ever perfect. Yes I have experienced periods of great joy and contentment. I have also experienced the opposite and the two sometimes feel like they cancel each other out.
There are of course other reasons that all is not right with the world and why things aren't perfect. Most of those are totally out of my control. A feeling of contentment though can be attained by understanding that it is beyond my control, and perhaps it is better off that way It can also be said that those things are also a reminder that things could be better and to get motivated to change my self and to use my gifts in ways to influence that change.
True there is not perfect place. And nothing can ever make everything right. I am called to enjoy those times that seem close to the ideal as possible, to change the things that I can, and let go of things that I can nothing about.
Blessings,
Ed
When I think of the things that frustrate me, most tie into a lack of perfection and a lack of things being the way I would want them to be.
That frustration is for the most part a judgement on myself. I do not like the feeling that I can't make everything right, or that very little in life is ever perfect. Yes I have experienced periods of great joy and contentment. I have also experienced the opposite and the two sometimes feel like they cancel each other out.
There are of course other reasons that all is not right with the world and why things aren't perfect. Most of those are totally out of my control. A feeling of contentment though can be attained by understanding that it is beyond my control, and perhaps it is better off that way It can also be said that those things are also a reminder that things could be better and to get motivated to change my self and to use my gifts in ways to influence that change.
True there is not perfect place. And nothing can ever make everything right. I am called to enjoy those times that seem close to the ideal as possible, to change the things that I can, and let go of things that I can nothing about.
Blessings,
Ed
Reflections for 10/29/10
"Why is it that we surround ourselves with other white, middle-class American Catholics? Why do all the others threaten us?"(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p.353)
While Fr. Rohr is asking a question of himself, all that any of us need to do is change the description to our own demographic and it won't be that far off.
I suppose that as much as I like diversity in my life, it is certainly easier to be around people for whom I believe I know how the game is played. It may even feel safer, I don't conclude that I won't have to watch what I say, or how I hold my fork, or anything else for which my insecure side worries about.
The sad part is that even if on the outside I believe I've found my "peer demographic" there is inevitably something that we don't have in common, some value etc. I also know that when I only surround myself, with my demographic I do not get a true vision of how the world really is. A far more complex place than I might think.
The threat that I may feel of course is completely concocted within myself. And probably the person I fear the most, might actually be the real me.
Blessings,
Ed
While Fr. Rohr is asking a question of himself, all that any of us need to do is change the description to our own demographic and it won't be that far off.
I suppose that as much as I like diversity in my life, it is certainly easier to be around people for whom I believe I know how the game is played. It may even feel safer, I don't conclude that I won't have to watch what I say, or how I hold my fork, or anything else for which my insecure side worries about.
The sad part is that even if on the outside I believe I've found my "peer demographic" there is inevitably something that we don't have in common, some value etc. I also know that when I only surround myself, with my demographic I do not get a true vision of how the world really is. A far more complex place than I might think.
The threat that I may feel of course is completely concocted within myself. And probably the person I fear the most, might actually be the real me.
Blessings,
Ed
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