Reflection for December 31, 2014

"I will study the way that is blameless. When shall I attain it?  I will walk with integrity of heart within my house."(Psalm 101:2)

As we come to the close of 2014 many will begin to think about what they'd like to change within themselves for the coming year.  I saw this verse and thought about some of the things I've tried to accomplish this year and what I might build upon in 2015.

I don't study but I have taken up regular reading.  I've enjoyed this and I hope to keep up with it.  I've been consistent in going to the gym, but my weight loss needs help.  I have tried to keep up with this blog, and that hasn't been perfect yet either.  Same with daily prayer and reading of scripture.

All of these are goals I will keep striving for, and maybe I will attain a consistency that I can be happy with.  And in that the walking with integrity of heart may also occur.  To be able to look myself in the mirror and truly say, you gave it your best each day.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for December 30, 2014

"The disagreement became so sharp that they parted company; Barnabas took Mark with him and sailed away to Cyprus."(Acts 15:39)

I don't know why I've been so fortunate but I have never had such a huge disagreement with someone that I could no longer be with them.  I certainly know that this happens to people.  Something gets said or done by one person and the other can no longer be with them.  They get to a place where it is better to go their separate ways.

We don't know if Paul and Barnabas ever reconciled.  We don't know if they talked negatively about the other.  We do know that both went on in their ministries. 

I certainly have lost touch with friends and colleagues in my life.  But never because I was mad at them or we could no longer see eye to eye.  I would hope that if such a moment should arise and that the best course of action would be to end the relationship and move on, I would do so continuing to respect the dignity of the person for whom I once worked with and cared for.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for December 29, 2014

"Friends, why are you doing this? We are mortals just like you, and we bring you good news, that you should turn from these worthless things to the living God, who made the heaven and the earth, and the sea and all that is in them."(Acts 14:16)

We all know about cases of mistaken identity.  They can be positive, but more often than not they are negative.  They can involve sweeping generalizations.  We can also have ascribed to us powers that we do not have.  "You're a priest, pray that it doesn't rain."

I'm actually not holier than anyone else, but I can try to show what striving to be holy might look like.  I'm not a better prayer than anyone else, but I can show people how to pray.

Ultimately I'm another human being who does some things well and other things not so well.  I can try to live my life as an example for others, but I can't live their lives for them.  I can share my faith journey and talk about why my faith is important to me, but I can't guarantee a conversion.

I can offer advice to folks who ask for it, I can point in a different direction, give other possibilities, but ultimately we each much choose for ourselves what path we will take.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for December 18, 2014

"But if it is of God, you will not be able to overthrow them-in that case you may even be found fighting against God."(Acts 5:39)

One of the aspects of the so called "culture wars" is the idea that God must be defended.  If we believe that something is not of God, then it is our job to stop it.  Interesting that in this passage we hear another possibility, let it alone and see if it succeeds.

Gamaliel, the suggester of this stance saw the reality, that if we believe that God is involved in everything, if it is something God doesn't want it will fail, maybe not immediately but eventually.

But that is a hard thing to do, especially if we aren't sure if it is the right thing or not, to let go of control and to see what God does or doesn't do.

Not everything in life is meant to be in our control.  We all have seen things come and go, but the truly valuable things, the things that are truly of God always succeed.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for December 17,2014

"Now the whole group of those who believed were of one heart and soul, and no one claimed private ownership of any possessions, but everything they owned was held in common."(Acts 4:32)

Often in political discussions I will hear calls for a return to the Judeo-Christian values that our country is founded on.  And if folks are really on a role they will want biblical norms to become the way we live our lives, or at least others who we don't approve of should lead theirs.

Of course what is going on is selective biblical application.  Most of us do this in one form or another.  But I always want to raise verses like this as examples to those who claim to lead a biblically based life, soley resting on God's word.

Really, you've sold all your possessions and hold them in common with others?  Sounds an awful lot like Communism.  Is that how you live?  Probably not.  Pretty rare in this country where capitalism and private ownership of things is almost more important than any biblical principles.

I'm not advocating for a return to this model.  As someone who firmly believes that we should always ask historical questions, it is clear that a small group of people can pull this off.    But they have to consent to it and be of one heart and soul.  I'm not even completely convinced that this is possible.

But I do wonder how much are possessions lay a claim on us.  Often blinding us to the needs of others.  And the more we accumulate the blinder we become. Perhaps in those times that we are blessed well beyond our needs, not necessarily beyond our wants, that we take the "spirit" of this passage rather than the literal of it to heart.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for December 16, 2014

"And he fixed his attention on them, expecting to receive something from them."(Acts 3:5)

Asking for help is probably one of the hardest things to do.  We Americans pride ourselves on our ability to pull ourselves up by our own boot straps.  To ask for help is a sign of weakness.  To admit to having needs is actually frightening.

The reality is all of us have needs of some kind that we cannot satisfy or fix by ourselves.  The cripple who fixed his eyes on Peter and John, had help being in the right place to even encounter them.  He also had a pattern of asking for alms and he probably got some every time he was there, but certainly not enough to make him no longer dependent on others.

In the encounter with Peter and John, he expects the same things a couple of coins at the most.  Instead he gets something more.  The ability to stand up and walk. The joy of a changed life.

Sometimes what we are given is not always what we ask for.  Sometimes we are given things we didn't even dare imagine could happen.  But sometimes we are blessed with an encounter that allows us to see another possibility, to get a hand up that helps us get on with life.  Not a hand out that keeps us stuck.

And we are also called to be like Peter and John, we are asked to give what we have.  Sometimes that might be spare change, but how much more valuable is our time, our compassion and perhaps ourselves in the service of others.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for December 15, 2014

"They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers."(Acts 2:42)

One of the parts of the baptismal covenant in the Episcopal Church is to continue in the apostles' teaching and fellowship, in the breaking of the bread and in the prayers.  And all in attendance are supposed to say they will with God's help.

When I hear those words I first sense and invitation to be in community.  I've enjoyed being in fellowship with those who share a commitment to Jesus Christ and the teachings of the church.  I have friends for whom that is not their community as well for the record.  So for me that is how I continue in the Apostles' teaching and fellowship.

The breaking of the bread is for me that invitation to receive communion regularly. For me that means at least weekly.  It can also point towards fellowship around meal times.  I don't really like to eat alone.

Continuing in the prayers for me is again establishing a regular habit of daily prayer.  That tends to be Morning Prayer, but it could be at any time, and also reminds me to hold those in my community in my prayers as well.

While I'm not perfect in keeping all of these 24/7, I do try.  And when I'm faithful to them, I know it is truly with God's help.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for December 13, 2014

"And they cast lots for them, and the lot fell on Matthias, and he was added to the eleven apostles."(Acts 1:26)

How do you make a decision among two good choices?  Flip a coin, roll dice, one potato two potato?
We make decisions all the time.  Most of them more gut feeling than rational.

I like the idea of casting lots. There is not doubt that Justus probably would have been a fine choice too.  But the lot fell on Matthias.

We of course also might pray about the choice and trust that God already has made the choice for us.

We can't control many decisions, and often there's a lot of politicking going on.  But how much more simple would things be if we could bring back lots.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for December 12, 2014

" He said to him the third time, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me?’ Peter felt hurt because he said to him the third time, ‘Do you love me?’ And he said to him, ‘Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Feed my sheep."(John 21:17)

Have you ever been asked by someone if you love them?  Probably.  And it sometimes gets asked by someone who you feel should know that you love them. But sometimes folks just need to hear the words to be reassured, even when no reassurance is necessary.

Peter got asked 3 times because he denied Jesus 3 times. A little ritual if you will.  And also a commandment, that this professed love needed to be shown in action towards others.

We can talk of love all we want, but unless we show that love, it is mere words, perhaps trying to cover our tracks.  Whether that love is towards someone near and dear to us, or towards are fellow human beings.  Unless we show it, speaking it will only take us part of the way.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for December 11, 2014

"Jesse made seven of his sons pass before Samuel, and Samuel said to Jesse, "The Lord has not chosen any of these.'"(I Samuel 16:10)

Have you ever been trying to find the right person for you or perhaps the right job?  You keep looking but nothing seems to pan out.  In many ways it can feel like being one of the older sons of Jesse!  Why am I not the being chosen?  Doesn't anyone want me?  You might even be tempted to form a support group called the elder sons of Jesse!

But there is of course another way to look at it. That you are not one of the older sons of Jesse, but all those relationships that didn't pan out, all those jobs you didn't get are the older sons of Jesse.  They aren't what God has wanted for you, but there is still one out there.  And like Samuel we have to keep looking, listening and assessing until "David" finally arrives.

When I take that view I find that the disappointments are not so huge.  They still hurt and are frustrating, but I believe that God eventually sends the right person or the right opportunity to us.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for December 10, 2014

"He waited seven days, the time appointed by Samuel; but Samuel did not come to Gilgal, and the people began to slip away from Saul."(I Samuel 13:8)

Waiting and being patient are very hard things to do. This is especially true if you were told a specific time to wait and the time arrives but what is supposed to happen doesn't.

It can throw you into a panic.  Think about waiting for someone to come and pick you up or who is supposed to arrive where you are.  The appointed time comes but not the person.  Now we might pick up our cell phone and call if we're running late, or to find out why someone is late.  But if you are old enough to remember life before cell phones, you know what a sinking feeling that is.  Or even now with cell phones if they don't answer.

You might start to take some kind of action, and in fact make things worse.  Where as if you'd waited and been patient what you were hoping for probably would have come.

It is very hard no doubt.  We aren't good at waiting and being patient these days.  Maybe that's one reason we often feel so stressed.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for December 9, 2014

"Pilate asked him, 'What is truth?'"(John 18:38)

I hear that line every Good Friday, since the Passion from John is assigned no matter which liturgical year.  I've heard people read that line and insert a "the" before truth.  But "the truth" is not what Pilate asked for, he said what is "truth."  And I think there is a difference.

The truth seems more factual.  Laws of science and math are usually the truth. Lawyers will often try to get the truth out of someone on the stand.  Parents will try to get their kids to tell the truth.  But what is "truth."

For me "truth" seems to be something we seek.  It can't be measured by any given constants.  Truth perhaps can be different for each of us.  There's more of a feeling about it.  Truth as we pursue it, seems to evade a final "the."

Truth seems to me to call forth from us the best we can be.  Truth also invites to recognize the best in others.  Truth creates the space to grow and change.  Once you put a "the" in front of it, you've ended the journey and given your final answer.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for December 8, 2014

"I say, 'You are gods, children of the Most High, all of you.'"(Psalm 82:6)

One time while chaperoning an overnight school trip, I had to keep telling certain people to knock it off.  Eventually one of these young men declared "oh my God." when he thought he'd had enough of me.  My response was "today I am your god."

In many ways we are all small g "gods."  We have been given specific gifts to be agents of compassion and love towards others.  We have the capabilities to do amazing things, and each generation seems to build on and sometimes out do the knowledge and power of previous generations.

But much like Peter Parker was told in the original Spider Man movie, "with great power comes great responsibility," so it is with us small g "gods."

We are not immortal, omnipotent, or omniscient.  Heck we aren't even all loving.  But we are invited to share in the divine life as God's children with all the privileges and responsibilities that come with it.  Maybe you don't want to be seen as a god.  Feels egotistical to think someone may worship you.  But I hope that in those god moments that I'm able to live up to the billing.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for December 6, 2014

"I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now."(John 16:12)

Do you ever have those times when your brain feels like it is on overload?  When so much information seems to be coming at you all at once.  You don't feel like there's anytime to process it, and eventually it gets to be too much and you shut down.  You just stop listening.  If you can tell that someone wants to say something more to you, you're probably tempted to say can it wait.

This is especially true when all the data come at you seems negative.  How much bad news can one person take?  I know I have my limits.

It seems very compassionate of Jesus to say I got more info for you, but I can tell you're overloaded and so it can wait.  And it is sometimes helpful to have someone to shut the faucet off for awhile.

It is also true that the information can be positive and yet still overwhelming.  Because we should be constantly learning, we need to figure out how to pace ourselves, so that we can take in the new information and get a handle on it.  But even then we might need someone to tell us to shut it down for a while.

How do you turn it off for a time when you've gotten to that information overload?

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for December 5, 2014

"Now the Lord came and stood there, calling as before, 'Samuel! Samuel!' And Samuel said, 'Speak, for your servant is listening.'"(1 Samuel 3:10)

Listening. How incredibly important and how hard.  We live in a culture where talking is seen as more valuable and only if I'm the one doing it.  Think about any current event and immediately you'll notice that everyone has an immediate, must share opinion.  Perhaps folks do take the time to listen first then talk, but I don't witness that happening.

But how can you truly begin to see how things are, or consider other alternatives, or understand God's will in your life, if all you do is talk.  It may be that listening is scary.  We might hear things that make us uncomfortable.  We'll spend more time talking our defense of the situation rather than actually listening to what is being said.

I do find that I have much more profound things to say, when I've listened first.  And sometimes the most profound thing might be to not say anything at all.  Just because my mouth isn't running, doesn't mean that I no longer exist.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for December 4, 2014

"Peace I leave with you; my  peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid."(John 14:27)

This is that time of the year, when everyone and everything seems to be in overdrive.  When you add to that manic activity, all of the crazy things that are going on in our world, things beyond our control and yet still affect us, a need for peace seems very real.

That notion of peace being left with us, a gift to be used by us when we need it.  Always there at our disposal if we could just remember.  We've already got it.  It is harder to remember because it isn't a material thing, much as the world would give us.  It is not something that is given wanting something from us in exchange.  The peace of and the from the Lord is just there.

And the times that I find it the most helpful to remember that I already have it is when my heart is troubled and when I am feeling afraid.  Troubled by the injustices I perceive and troubled by all the things that I have to do each and every day, and whether I will be able to accomplish them.  Afraid of the violent actions and reactions to events that seem to just keep boiling over non-stop and wondering if and when they will impact me beyond the media.

But in calling forth that peace, I know I can let my heart do what it needs to do, I can let my mind focus on the positive and let my strength be used to change those things within myself and within my world that I can.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for December 3, 2014

"By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."(John 13:35)

All of us have been told that we will be known by the company we keep.  What type of people do we associate with?  How do they interact with each other?  How do they interact with those outside of the group?

The first standard of judging a group will be how do they treat each other. Do they seem to enjoy each other's company.  Is there a spirit of respect and cooperation?  Do they love each other in word and deed?  Or do they seem to be in constant conflict, snide comments flying all the time.  Whispering in corners?  It doesn't take long to figure it out.  This can be true of any gathering of people and the church as a gathering of people is no different.

When I go into a church gathering I also look to see how the folks interact.  What is the atmosphere like?  Is this a group of disciples who have figured out how to love?

Now love does not mean not challenging each other.  Not being willing to confront behaviors or problems.  But there are ways to do this that are in fact reflecting of the commandment to love.  And as a someone striving to be known as a disciple that is the standard I have to hold for myself.

And then when we are outside of the group, the standard still applies. I am commanded to love, even those I disagree with.  The love doesn't gloss over the disagreement, but it attempts to ensure that we can work through it without getting distracted by personal attacks.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for December 2, 2014

They came to Philip, who was from Bethsaida in Galilee, and said to him, “Sir, we wish to see Jesus.” (John 12:21)

Have you ever met someone famous?  Maybe you won back stage passes to meet some rock star.  Went to a book signing or had an audience with the Pope.  I haven't.

I wonder who I might ask to see, if given a choice of meeting someone famous?  Would I choose to meet Jesus in the way that these folks asked?  As a person of faith I hope to see Jesus face to face as I transition from this earthly pilgrimage into eternal life with those I love in Christ's presence.

But until that mid life crisis I call death, is it possible to see Jesus?  The answer of course is yes!
I might not see a physical person, but I will see glimpses of the presence of Christ in many ways each and every day.  I'll see Jesus in acts of compassion towards other people.  I will see Jesus when a bad situation turns around.  I will see Jesus when broken relationships are mended.  I will see Jesus when people who seem hopeless and downcast are being raised up.

But perhaps the real question is when I look in a mirror will I catch a glimpse of Jesus.  Will that face reveal the very things where I claimed I would recognize Christ?

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for December 1, 2014

"Martha said to Jesus, 'Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.'"(John 11:21)

If.  Pretty potent word for just two letters.  I usually say or hear if from a place of regret.  It also is usually followed by the word only.  If only I had been there, If only I had more time.  If only......

If rarely leads to action, it often leads to reflection.

Martha says this to Jesus because she'd seen him heal others and why should her sick brother not have been one of those healed?  Thanks for showing up now, a couple of days earlier really would have been great.  Then I wouldn't be mourning a loss.

We know from the rest of the chapter that something great did occur, just not what she'd expected.

But what do we expect when we say if?  Do we believe that something remarkable might happen, or is it just a way of coping with frustration when things don't go the way we'd hoped?  The word if can also be used as a bargaining chip, the old if-then of logic.  If you do x then I'll do y.

There is a part of me that would like to avoid using the word if.  But what word really suffices when you're feeling that frustrated or lost.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for November 26, 2014

"But when I thought how to understand this, it seemed to me a wearisome task",(Psalm 73:16)

Like most of you I've been overwhelmed by the opinions on the Ferguson decision and the aftermath that followed.  The lines are clearly drawn, and there is rarely a middle voice heard. I try to listen to both sides and still find myself thinking the issue is incredibly complex and much of the truth is lying under the surface.

The processing of the overload of information and opinion is probably the most tiring.  There is also the real fact that I have to constantly remind myself of the lenses through which I'm viewing this, that of an educated, middle class, white, male.  The hard part is that my sympathies lie one place.but I know that I play a role in the systems that continue ferment and grow.  I also know that I grow weary of the dismissive attitude of some of my social location who refuse to engage the topic and by their vitriol and self righteous tone are only making it worse. 

It is hard work to think on all the issues that Ferguson brought to the surface again.  Most I will not be able to solve.  But no matter how tiring just thinking about it can be.  There can really be no rest until these issues are truly understood, taken seriously and ultimately dealt with.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for November 25, 2014

"From oppression and violence he redeems their life; and precious is their blood in his sight."(Psalm 72:14)

Monday evening the Grand Jury findings were released in the case of Officer Darren Wilson.  The verdict pretty much went as expected, no charges filed.  I am sure for Officer Wilson at a certain level breathes a sigh of relief.  His actions were seen by that jury as appropriate given the circumstances.  I heard a brief interview with him where he certain regrets the loss of life.  I can't imagine anyone who caused a loss of life who isn't a sociopath not feeling some level of remorse.  In many ways his career and name are tarnished forever.

The reaction to the verdict was also regrettably predictable.  There are people who will take a tragedy and make it worse. Especially if there are cameras rolling.

The whole case and many like it raise lots of questions for me.  The predictable reaction of many with no direct connection to Ferguson MO, was also predictable.  We choose to focus on the violent reaction rather than the violence that triggered it.  We don't want to address a question of why our police are not going out with partners? Would Officer Wilson have acted differently if he weren't on his own?

Do we want to talk at all about why being a police officer is not a career choice that people of color generally pursue?  I was told that many can't pass the background checks.  Yet I can't help but wonder if a young person's experience with the police has not been positive and there are few roll models for them to see, why they would even consider it.

I've seen people post stories of black cops killing unarmed white teens and asking "where is the outrage!?"  Too which I'd say yes where is the outrage?  Why aren't you outraged that we haven't figured out how to define where the line is with the use of deadly force by sworn officers of the law.  Instead we bring these examples out to seemingly deflect away from the larger underlying issues.

As a white male, I really won't ever fully grasp what a black male goes through daily.  I'm generally treated well by the police, I'm given the automatic benefit of the doubt, my example of white privilege.

As a person of faith, I hope for a day when all of us can find redemption from the violence and oppression that we experience.  And when everyone's blood is seen as precious in the sight of everyone.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for November 24, 2014

"The sick man answered, 'Sir, I have no one to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up; and while I am making my way, someone else steps down ahead of me.'"(John 5:7)

Have you ever been waiting for something? An opportunity to do something or take care of a problem and yet when the moment is right, you either don't have the help you need to accomplish it, or someone else gets there just ahead of you.

It often feels like we are striving on our own and often fall just short, or someone else gets the very thing we sought.

It may be that we actually don't see the help that is right in front of us.  It may also be that we are striving for something we don't actually need.

I look at the invalid in this passage and can see those parallels in my own life.   Too narrow a focus on how to achieve my goal.  No one to help me, and others too quick or better at the game than I.  Frustrating no doubt.

From a faith perspective perhaps I'm called to see where God is acting with me in all of this.  Have I asked for the right thing?  Or do I need to broaden my definition of what the right thing is?

I know what I'd like to see happen, and I've waited a long time for all the stars to align.  And that waiting and only seeing one answer might be why I've been unable to achieve my goal.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for November 22, 2014

"Let those who say, Aha, Aha! turn back because their shame."(Psalm 70:3)

Have you ever felt like you fell into a trap. Or somehow had your words twisted around in such a way that you wound up contradicting yourself, or admitting to something you hadn't actually done.  And inevitably there seems to be someone there to point out your miscue.  And they seem to gloat as you stand confused or perhaps even embarrassed.

The fact that there are folks who take glee in the mistakes of others is truly sad.  That there are even people who deliberately set others up is also reprehensible.  I know I'm turned off by folks with their aha's and gotcha.  Really?  That's what makes you feel powerful or superior?  Please.

That we might hope that they would just go away feeling ashamed by their actions is something to hope for.  Regrettably unless someone stands up to them.  Calls them on their non sense.  The aha's will have it.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for November 21, 2014

"Indeed, God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him."(John 3:17)

If you were a sports fan in the 1970's and 1980's you may recall seeing at many a televised sporting event a guy with a rainbow wig and a cardboard sign that said John 3:16.  Back then I had no idea what he was referring to.  Of course I now and for 20+ years understand that he was using his prime location seats to share the good news of Jesus Christ, that God so loved the world......

And while I certainly embrace that Good News I love the verse that follows as much.  That Jesus didn't come here to condemn us.  So it sort of begs the question for me.  If Jesus didn't come to condemn why do some of his followers feel they must?  Are they mad that Jesus didn't share the same zealousness for fault finding and finger pointing?  Are they saying he blew it we better take over?  Of course I need to be careful or I may fall into the trap of condemning them.

That the world through Christ might be saved is important.  For me it is in the believing and then the following the example that I as a part of the world get saved.  Saved from myself primarily.  Reminded regularly that there are other people who are just as beloved as I am.  Who need the same compassion and mercy that I've been given.  They don't need Austin 3:16, "I just whooped your ass" but a hand up, a shoulder to lean on and an ear to listen.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for November 20, 2014

"And he said to him, 'Everyone serves the good wine first, and the the inferior wine after teh guests have become drunk. But you have kept the good wine until now.'"(John 2:10)

Have you ever noticed that there are people who get off to a great start but as time goes on, their efforts diminish, what impressed you at first isn't happening anymore.  Perhaps they hoped you might not notice what was currently happening and only recall how good things were in the beginning.

But saving the best for last, almost seems counter intuitive.  Hey we might not be interested by that point.

Vanessa Williams had a song about that with such memorable lines as "sometimes the very thing you're looking for is the one thing you can't see."  And I think there's something to that when I reflect on good wine coming now.

The thing about that "first miracle at a wedding in Cana of Galilee" is not only only water into wine, but more so for me that Jesus brought something forth from a place no one expected it. He didn't fill empty wine jars, but jars whose purpose was something else.

And doesn't that happen too in life. That things that we really need come from unexpected sources.  That what starts out as a seemingly empty jar can bring forth the best stuff.  And maybe for those of us who start off a little slower, who aren't as flashy.  This might be good news indeed.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for November 19, 2014

"The Lord said to Joshua, 'Stand up! Why have you fallen on your face."(Joshua 7:10)

For the last couple of days my reflections have perhaps been a little melancholy.  Frankly that's where I was.  I wish I could say that things have taken a turn for the better, they haven't.  But last night as I went to bed after getting rejected yet again, something began to change for me.

I had been brought low, perhaps even to a metaphorical falling on my face. But as I lay down on the air mattress while spending the night with two homeless families being housed at a local church, I began to see my plight in a different way.  Perspective has a way to do that.

When the alarm went off, another day had dawned.  A day when I knew I would get to go home to a warm house.  I'd be greeted by a wife who loves me unconditionally.  And that this pity party I'd been engaging in, wasn't changing anything.

So this invitation to stand up, I accept!  Doesn't change the slump, but reminds me that the slump cannot be gotten out of if I'm lying down face first by my own choice.

So today back to trying, reminding myself that I'm still standing and it is a much more comfortable place to be and easier to see where you need to go.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for November 18, 2014

"He said to them, 'why are you frightened and why do doubts arise in your hearts.'"(Luke 24:38)

If I were privileged to have a one on one with Jesus, he might very well ask me that question today. He'd notice that I'm not my usual self.  My doubt is not actually a doubt about him, the resurrection or anything faith oriented.  The doubt is self contained.

I would probably lay out what is scaring me right now.  I'd hope that he'd just listen, let me air it out.  Of course since I believe that to him all hearts are open, all desires known and no secrets are hid, he already is well aware of the problem.  I'm sure he'd tell me he understands, he's been there himself.  And that not to lose hope but to keep walking with him.

If he were to ask about the doubt, I know my answer would be I have evidence to support my conclusion, and I'd like to see the other possiblity but it is hard to change the viewpoint at the moment.  Again I would hope to be listened to, and believe that I am heard.  I might be invited to turn around to not get to calcified and to persevere.

You haven't been forsaken ever, why should this time be different.  Keep moving brother, keep moving.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for November 17, 2014

"I hereby command you; Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed; for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."(Joshua 1:9)

There are certainly periods in my life when I could have used somebody telling me this, at least the what not to be.  I spent too much of my youth being frightened.  Courage lacking, strength not existent.  Awkwardness, in abundance.  Frightened by others who had strength or at least appeared to. I don't know about being dismayed as much.  Because it spite of being scared, much of my life went reasonably well growing up.  Disappointments? Sure who doesn't have those, but never to the extent of feeling like nothing will ever go right.

Sometime around high school I started to get strength, being a wrestler will do that.  Courage still lacking a bit, but more of it than I'd had before.  And I think I became strongest and most courageous in college and that hasn't left me.

But I'll have to confess, that I've lately felt dismayed.  Not frightened because what is causing this dismay is not based in fear, but in a current reality.  Could things change?  Of course?  And I sure hope so.  But I may need the strength and the courage to defeat that feeling.

The truth of it all though is the final part, that God as been and is still with me even when I'm in a valley period and feel like I'm chasing wind.  And it is that still small voice that calls me, be strong, be courageous, dont' be frightened, don't be dismayed.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflections for November 15, 2014

"Father if you are willing remove this cup from me; yet not my will but yours be done."(Luke 22:42)

There was a scene from the Simpson's where Bart found himself praying for a snowstorm so that school would be cancelled so that he could avoid taking a test.  His sister Lisa saw him and said "prayer, the last act of a desperate man.". It snowed by the way, and Lisa reminded Bart who was ready to go out and enjoy the snow that he had prayed for this and should use this answered prayer wisely.

How many of us have been in that kind of situation where we have prayed to have something happen, anything, that might get us out of a really bad situation.  We are not sure ourselves how to do it, so we ask God to act on our behalf.  I know I've been there.

But I also know that if I am to model my life and that includes my prayer life after Jesus, then I too have to be willing to say, your will be done.  I don't believe that God's will is for me to suffer or anyone else for that matter.  What I have found to be true is that while I may not be rescued out of every if any situation, I am often blessed with a way to endure it and come out from it in tact.  Changed perhaps, maybe even a little wounded, but not utterly defeated.

That's not to say that we shouldn't pray for specific things, but we need to remember that what we pray for may not always be what we need.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for November 14, 2014

"So make up your minds not to prepare your defense in advance."(Luke 21:14)

If you are someone for whom public speaking is a part of your life, the idea of not preparing in advance is a little frightening.  I can't imagine coming into a Sunday morning service where I'm scheduled to preach and not have given any thought to what I was going to say.  I'm sure the same is true for lawyers, teachers, and politicians among others.

There are times when we may be called upon to make some remarks without knowing it but that is pretty rare.

But there are also times in life when we know a confrontation of some kind is coming. And we immediately begin to work out what we will say.  Our adlibbed lines being well rehearsed, and yet failing us when we really need them. 

Sometimes this is because the confrontation we prepared for doesn't materialize.  Yet it is still hard to not try to be prepared for it.  I'd like to trust that the words that are needed at that moment will be given to me.  And sometimes those turn out to be the best kinds.  But first we have to not play out the perceived scenario.  Not try to anticipate what will be asked.  But wait for the question or the accusation and go from there.  If for no other reason than we may have guessed or anticipated wrong from the start.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for November 13, 2014

"I call heaven and earth to witness against you today that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Choose life so that you and your descendants may live."(Deuteronomy 30:19)

Back in the 80's the band Wham had a video for their song "Wake me up before you go go."  In that video the singers sported white t-shirts with CHOOSE LIFE in black letters across the front.  I remember thinking that was strange.  I probably thought Wham was strange anyway.

Even then I associated the words Choose life, as being the call of anti-abortion groups.  I now realize that choosing life, goes well beyond whether to continue a pregnancy or not.  Choosing life for me has become a cry to not give up, to not lose hope, to continue to move forward in spite of all the odds seeming to be against me.

Choosing life as presented here was more about staying in relationship with God.  So I'll make that choice.  It means for me living my life the way God would have me live it.  It means saying no to things that draw me from that relationship. It means saying not to things that wish to make me afraid, bitter or cynical.

Choosing life for me means that I will always seek the good for all people, helping where I can and when I can.

Choosing life is the response I give in God giving me this life to live.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for November 12, 2014

"Then the other came, saying, Lord, ere is your pound. I wrapped it up in a piece of cloth."(Luke 19:20)

One of the normal tensions in life is between taking a risk or playing it safe.  We do this often.  We might try to go outside of our comfort zones or just maintain the status quo.  People may invest their money in high risk but potentially high reward investments, while others put a dollar bill in a box.

The thing about the risk vs. play it safe model is that there is more evidence that risk taking pays off.  When we take the step outside of our comfort zone we find that in fact the world of opportunity opens up.  And with each success our confidence grows.  And even in failure, if we've taken the risk we might at least gain some wisdom from the experience and be willing to try again.

When we play it safe there is little hope for anything.  We certainly get nothing other than another day to muddle through.  We learn nothing.  And stay stuck.

When given an opportunity to try something what will our response be.  I'm not talking about trying things that can be literally deadly but things that might not work out.  Two of the folks in the parable saw success, they took a risk and it worked.  The person who played it safe, got nothing and lost.

I hope that when I'm given an opportunity I will have the courage to make the most of it.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for November 11, 2014

"When Jesus heard this, he said to him 'There is still one thing lacking. Sell all that you own and distribute the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me.'"(Luke 18:23)

I don't own a lot of things.  So this challenge to sell all that I own is hard for me to picture.  Jesus uses the challenge because the person who asked the question, heard Jesus answer, continued to press the point.  And then came this final challenge.

There are things in our lives that keep us from fully living.  The ironic part is that often they are objects.  And that is the real challenge to be able to first let go of things, second to use the new found money, time or whatever it might be in some constructive way.

The hard part is to first acknowledge what is holding you back.  But once you've freed yourself from it.  The following of Christ and living a life that truly reflects who you are becomes easier.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for November 10, 2014

"So you also, when you have done all that you were ordered to do say, 'We are worthless slaves; we have done only what we ought to have done.'"(Luke 17:10)

I'm trying to get back normal after a few days of vacation.  I will admit that this has been greatly hampered by feeling really worn down, and probably having a cold.

I'm trying to get done what I can do, and I know I should just be kind to myself and heal and rest.

But there's that part of me that wants to do more and yet can't find the energy at the moment.

I don't want to call myself worthless just because I've only done what I'm supposed to do, yet I know that I can get on my own case when I see others out doing me, or at least seeming to do so.  Maybe there are times when I go above and beyond, but it doesn't often feel that way.  I'd like to be more driven, in hyperdrive 24/7, but it just isn't me.

Perhaps I can from time to time, do a little more than is expected of me.  It may also be true that I already am doing it, but being my own worst critique, I fail to see anything but the minimum.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for October 29, 2014

"Therefore I tell you, her sins, which were many, have been forgiven; hence she has shown great love. but the one to whom little is forgiven, loves little."(Luke 7:47)

We've all been told that little things mean a lot.  But how often do we fail to respond to small things being done for us.  Perhaps even things that just happen every day and feel almost routine, but boy if they didn't happen we'd be upset.


We certainly know how to respond when something really big occurs.  We know how to show gratitude for huge things in our lives.  The noticeable, WOW moments.

At first I didn't fully get his verse.  Then I realized that Jesus was pointing to all that the woman had done for him, "she has shown great love."  And he compares her lavish reaction to his presence which led to her forgiveness, which mirrored the hospitality he should have received from Simon.  Simon who might not have had as much to be forgiven, just seems to ignore the hospitality rules.

When you get something you long for, but are not sure you deserve, it would be hard not to start reacting abundantly.  When it just seems like a normal day, hard to get the same level.  Yet it may be that we miss how extraordinary each day really is.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for October 28, 2014

"Do not judge, and you will not be judged; do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive and you will be forgiven."(Luke 6:37)

I'm usually more for things that tell me what to do, not what not to to do.  However this verse gives me both.  I certainly don't want to be judged.  I don't wish for others the critique that comes with it.  Therefore I try to avoid judging.  It may be true that we judge things all the time.  If I say I like something I've judged it.  Same if I say I don't like something.  So perhaps the real problem lies not in the  judging, but having it become a way of being, judgmental.  We all know judgmental people. Not only do they do the analysis in their head regarding something, but they feel entitled to share their conclusions.  This may not be so bad if their conclusions are positive, a good restaurant for example, but when the only thing that comes out of their judging is what's wrong with something or someone, then there is a real problem.  Are they ready for a huge critique and analysis of themselves by someone else?  Probably not.

What usually follows the negative judging is condemning.  The putting down of others, the continuous ridicule, the shaming.  And if we're really full of ourselves will let those folks know that it is God doing, we're just God's mouthpiece.  Again are those doing the condemning, whether they take ownership of it, or try to make it all about God, are they ready to face the same level of scrutiny?  And worse, what if God isn't all that pleased with people putting words in his mouth?

The last part those is phrased in a positive, the commandment to forgive.  Can we be the type of people who don't harp on faults and don't hold onto hurts?  If we expect others to give us another chance when we have an all to human moment, when we are less than perfect, then we have to do the same.

Where I really find it helpful is that in living a life that is more forgiving of others and myself is far healthier in the long run, than judging and condemning others and ultimately myself.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for October 27, 2014

"And no one after drinking old wine desires new wine, but says, 'the old is good.'"(Luke 5:39)

I don't know very much about wine.  I certainly have heard people talking about certain years being great for some reason. But basically I'm clueless.

I do know that in life, there are things we get used to, and believe that they are good.  It can be music, books, worship styles almost anything that isn't actually objective in measurements.  All's I'm stating is a preference for one thing over another.

And while I can get stuck in my tastes, I do try to occasionally look at new things.  I'm not always convinced that something new is necessarily the best, but if I can broaden my horizons all the better.
There isn't necessarily anything wrong with having preferences, the problem is when we become frozen in time, and rigid in our opinions and unwilling to allow others to enjoy something else.

Growth for me occurs when while knowing what I like, experiencing new things and perhaps adding them into my list of what brings me joy in life, can only increase my love for living.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for October 23, 2014

"But Mary treasured all these words, and pondered them in her heart."(Luke 2:19)

I don't have a keepsake box or a file filled with letters, but sometimes I wished did. I certainly have things scattered all over the place that when I rediscover them, I'm amazed.  There are people of course who do keep old letters or mementos from their past, because to go back and look a them can be helpful in understanding where we've been and perhaps where we might be going.

When we treasure something it has value to us.  We may store it away to bring out later when we need it.  Treasuring is a way of remembering.

I think it very helpful that Mary chooses to ponder words and not immediately react to them. That's hard for me as an extrovert to do.  Take some time to allow the full meaning of what is said to sink in. Give the space for my reaction to be thought through and perhaps even come to the conclusion that no rebuttal is necessary.

But we live in an immediate world.  Between twitter and instant messaging we can fire away the first thing that comes to our mind in reaction to something that was said or written.  Perhaps treasuring and pondering might actually be the best thing to do, before we hit send.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for October 22, 2014

"We remember the fish we used to eat in Egypt for nothing; the cucumbers, the melons, the leeks, the onions and the garlic."(Numbers 11;6)

It is funny how when we are in a place where things aren't going well, one of the first things we do is try to remember better times.  If we can put ourselves mentally back to a place where we thought everything was perfect, or at least where our current problems didn't exist, then maybe we can endure this period.

I'm just as capable of historical escapism as the next person.  I can create a "golden age of Ed" but the truth will always be that I'm ignoring the parts that weren't so great.

The Israelites remembered all the good food they had in Egypt!  And when you're hungry and eating pretty bland stuff day after day, I suppose it is understandable.  They of course forgot the reason they left Egypt in the first place, the harsh mistreatment as slaves.

The journey to a brighter future is rarely without some level of pain.  And we may recall the good things of our past.  But rather than being a source of comparison, we might be better off using them as a gentle push to keep moving forward.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for October 21, 2014

"Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise him, my help and my God."(Psalm 42:11)

Since my life seems to be one of rolling hills, meaning peaks and valleys, but never to high or to low, I know when I'm in a valley period.  I can tell by my outlook and by my level of anxiousness and worry.  Or as the psalmist put it, cast down and disquieted.

When I'm in those places it is hard for me to see upward. I feel like life is just piling on.  When I get tired of being in that place, I start to ask the question, what is really going on?  Why are you feeling cast down?  There may be good reasons.  Something isn't working the way I thought.  Perhaps I've been rejected in some way.  I'm sure all of us can name what puts us in that place.

Same thing with being disquieted.  When our own personal fears and worries get topped off with all the craziness in the world outside of ourselves, being disquieted almost seems reasonable.

One of the places that I turn to first when I've grown weary from being cast down and disquieted is to God.  Those conversations, you could call it prayer, which allow me the space to process what is going on, and to be able to see more clearly the way out.

The beauty of that journey out that it begins with that first ray of hope. For me knowing that God is still there.  That the promise that praise rather than lament can and will be the mode of operation for me.

Because I claim that God, I can receive the help.  Not so much in a passive way that insists that God fix everything, but in that encouragement to get up and get moving again.  That I am not alone.  And that by looking up, questioning what is going on and by accepting the help offered, all can be well again.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for October 20, 2014

"And the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom."(Mark 15:38)

One of the first ecumenical Good Friday services that I participated in here in Wenonah, I preached on the tearing of the temple curtain.  I pointed out the significance of that tearing.  How in Jesus' death we were given access to God.  There was nothing to keep us away.  And yet how tragic it was that many in the body of Christ would seek to repair that curtain and block others from God's presence again.

I wonder what obstacles to the God's presence in our lives still exist.? What walls of separation need to be torn down?  Or are we now at time when God is like an option on the game show Let's make a Deal, where you can choose to find out what's behind curtain number 1.

Curtains can of course give color and decoration to a room. But they can also shut out the light.
The opening of a curtain signifies the beginning of a show.  Can we by peeking behind the various curtains start to notice God's activity in our lives and in our world.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for October 16, 2014

"Jesus said to them, 'Is not this the reason you are wrong, that you know neither the scriptures nor the power of God."(Mark 12:24)

Sometimes we get things wrong.  Perhaps we misunderstood something, whether it be something we read or perhaps heard.  It is also true that we can read in an interpretation that we like better.  We can also be wrong when we choose to doubt something or underestimate the possibility.

It is of course a double whammy when you not only misunderstood but then undersestimated on top of it.

Jesus gets into it with the Sadducees, this time.  They deny the resurrection, (that is why they are sad you see.)  So they throw out the most over the top theoretical question.  They sort of knew the law about making sure that heirs are provided to keep the family name alive.  We don't practice this anymore.  But the Bible never takes it beyond that.  So they do as most people who don't really want an answer will do and conjure up some extreme possibility.  He also accuses them of no understanding the power of God.  To deny the resurrection is to pretty much say that God can't do something. 

I try to know the scripture as well as I can, that's why I read it constantly.  I do know what it says, though I'm sure there are people who may disagree with how I interpret and apply it.  I know the power of God well enough to avoid saying what God will or won't, can or can't do.  I find it better to watch and see.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for 10/15

"Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone; so that you Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses."(Mark 11:25)

While many people believe in multi-tasking I'm not sure that it can happen in every activity.  I know that if I let other concerns enter my mind when I am at the gym, my routine slows down.  I lose count of how many sets I've done.  When I stay focused on why I am there, it goes much better.

The other exercise in my life is prayer.  Again when I stay focused on what I'm doing and why, it goes better.  When I think of the different forms of prayer, for example centering prayer or walking a labyrinth, the process of emptying my mind so that I can hear more clearly what God needs me to hear, is essential.

While Jesus is not advocating any particular method of prayer, he does point out a real stumbling block in prayer.  If I am focused on the wrong that has been done to me by another, it will be hard to enter into a helpful place of prayer.  Perhaps the invitation is that before we get going on what we'd like to have happen, or whatever it might be that we are praying for, we need to make sure that we have started the day off with a fresh slate, not only for others, but for ourselves as well.  Perhaps that is why a general confession of sin is found so early in the service of Morning Prayer.

And what is so true is that offering forgiveness is not for the person whose done the wrong, but it is for ourselves.  It is the first step in healing, it is essential to letting go and moving on.  It gets us past our hurt and anger and frees us up to focus on the things that really matter.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflections for 10/9/14

"When he heard him, he was greatly perplexed, and yet he liked to listen to him."(Mark 6:20)

At some point or another you have probably encountered a speaker who you like to listen to.  Perhaps it is their tone of voice.  Maybe you find what they have to say insightful.  Or it could be that they challenge your thinking.  Maybe you just like to get angry.

When I hear things that perplex me, I try to listen harder, to ask questions, to see if I can gain some understanding.  Is there a different way of looking at something that a speaker is offering?  I don't know that there is anyone I listen to constantly.  I do like Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert, but I don't hang on their every word.

I try to not just listen to people who will tell me what I already know or believe.  But who offer me a challenge to think harder, to decide what it is I really believe, and who might actually be willing to engage in a conversation with me.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for October 6, 2014

"But whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit can never have forgiveness, but is guilty of an eternal sin."(Mark 3:29)

When I was a curate, the Rector of the parish and I were talking about this passage and he said that it always made him nervous.  It was mainly do to the fact that he wasn't sure what blaspheming the Holy Spirit might be.  And he certainly didn't want to do something that he couldn't be forgiven for.

Mark tells us in the next verse that it was because they said Jesus had a demon and that is how he was doing all the miracles.  In other words doubting that God could possibly work through some one to bring healing and wholeness to a broken world.

For me blaspheming the Holy Spirit is about saying that something can't be.  Deciding that because I don't like something God might not be able to do it. Pretty presumptuous for me to decide that what I want to do is what God might also want to do.

But I also have another thought about this.  What if I believe I've done something that is unforgivable.  When I begin to doubt that forgiveness is even possible.  That is also blaspheming the Holy Spirit.  I've again decided what I can accept, instead of accepting that gracious gift of the Spirit.  You can't have something when you won't believe it is possible.  And the inability to accept that forgiveness might very well make it eternal.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for October 4, 2014

"No one sows a piece of unstrung cloth on an old cloak, otherwise the patch pulls away from it, the new from the old and a worse tear is made."(Mark 2:21)

I don't know much about sewing.  I certainly have seen patched up clothes.  In some ways they can be quite fashionable I guess.  A patch of course is a fix to a problem, whether it be clothes, a tire or a wall.  Ultimately there will come a time when you need to just replace completely whatever it is that you patched.

When we try to patch things up in our lives, we may fix something temporarily or if we're lucky it might even hold, but the reality is it is not the same as it was.  We patch because what has a hole in it is valuable to us.  But the patch will always remind us that it is no longer the same.

There may be times in our lives when there is no point to patching.  We need to let go of that object or part of our lives that is broken and can't be fixed.  To open our eyes, heart and mind to new possibilities.  But until we can do that, patching may be all we can handle.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for October 3, 2014

"In the morning while it was still dark, he got up and went out to a deserted place and there he prayed."(Mark 1:35)

I've always been a morning person.  For some reason my internal alarm clock rarely let's me go past 7 am.  For awhile now I've been getting up while it is still dark and heading over to the gym.

I will grant that the gym is not a deserted place, there are other people there as well.  But while I am working on some "temple maintenance," I do find it to be a somewhat prayerful time as well.  I don't really talk to people but I do a lot of thinking and conversing with God about the day ahead, and other things that are weighing on my heart.

While I don't do morning prayer in the dark because 1) I need light to see since I read from the Book of Common Prayer and 2) My eyes don't function as well before I've had my coffee.

But I certainly can get why Jesus chose to get up before everyone else and go to a deserted place.  First others might wake up and want to talk. Second he knew that prayer is sometimes best done when and where there are no distractions.

When is the best time for you to commune with God?  Do you have a place to go and just be alone without distractions?  If you don't, is it possible to create such a time and place?

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for October 2, 2014

"When the people saw that Moses delayed to come down from the mountain, the people gathered around Aaron, and said to him, 'Come make gods for us, who shall go before us; as for this Moses, the man who brought us up out of the  land of Egypt, we do not know what has become of him.'"(Exodus 32:1)

The story of the golden calf is one of those that I can still see the picture of from my children's bible story book.  Pretty impressive thing they made.  Wow they had a lot of gold.  The story of course is there as a warning against idolatry, one of the 10 commandments.  Funny thing is that they hadn't gotten the 10 commandments at this point, but I digress.

While I'm not sure you can violate a rule that you don't know exists, the story for me also points to a deep human need.  A symbol of some kind that makes us feel secure.  When we watch our lives take a turn that we aren't equipped to deal with quite yet, we attempt to find some kind of touchstone to keep us centered, to perhaps makes us feel secure through this tumultuous period.  The reality of life is we make "golden calves" all the time.

The biggest problem is these creations tend to replace the trust we have that God is truly present with us.  And then grows into something bigger than just a security blanket.

Ask yourself if you have any "golden calves" in your own life?  Is there something that makes you feel secure even though it too could disappear or perhaps cause you more pain than it is worth?  When we seek to hold onto these safety devices, we miss the real security that comes from loving and being loved by God.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for October 1, 2014

"So when Pilate saw that he could do nothing,  but rather that a riot was beginning, he took some water and washed his hands before the crowd, saying 'I am innocent of this man's blood, see to it yourselves.'"(Matthew 27:24)

There are many scenes in the Passion of Christ, the biblical accounts not the movie.  Some are found in all the Gospels, but others are unique to in one of them.  Pilate washing his hands of the whole affair is one.

We've all heard that expression "washing my hands of it."  The idea being that even though we knew of it, we didn't participate.  Don't come looking to me if it goes horribly wrong or you get in trouble.
The problem of course is that once you know of something that is going to happen and choose to do nothing to stop it, even though you know it is wrong, no symbolic gesture is going to matter.

Pilate if he had a spine could have stopped it, but chose the expediency of not having a riot to deal with.  Yes as a Christian his inaction leads to my salvation, but it doesn't free him from guilt.

I'm sure there are many times that I've wished to just wash my hands of something.  To make sure that I'm not associated with it. But what I've come to understand is that anything I know of becomes engrained in my memory, and unless I take some sort of action, my conscience probably won't get a lot of rest.  Sometimes doing the right thing, might not always be the safest.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for September 30, 2014

"Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted."(Psalm 25:16)

One of the problems that I encounter daily, just from being on the internet is the level of fear and dis ease  that seems to be permeating the world.  I wonder what the root of it might be?  A piece of that puzzle may very well be that many people feel lonely.  We can have hundreds and in some cases thousands of Facebook friends.  We can be surrounded daily by people and yet feel lonely.

Part of that loneliness comes from watching our world change. The things which at one time made us feel connected are snapping.  We look around and see people who don't look like me taking the places that were usually held by people like me.  I begin to wonder, will anyone understand me?  Loneliness comes when we stop being able to relate to a wider variety of folk.  I would think it would be very lonely to be a liberal voice in a conservative area, or a conservative voice in a liberal area.  Very few of us are called to being a prophetic witness.

And as we begin to slip further into that lonely space we start to feel afflicted, physically and emotionally.  And all of this just deepens that hole we find ourselves in.  And eventually we get to a place of crying out for help.  Will anyone notice us?  Can we get some level of graciousness extended our way.

Part of it for me, when I get feeling lonely is to reach out to those real friends.  I also do as the psalmist does cry out to God.  And once I can give voice to all that is weighing me down, either through prayer, or even over lunch with a trusted friend, or both, the healing I may need can begin.

Blessings,
Ed 

Reflection for September 29, 2014

"Little by little I will drive them out from before you, until you increase and possess the land."(Exodus 23:30)

One of the things I've been coached to do in my daily exercise is to pace myself.  To not rush through my routines.  That slow and steady approach is actually better for my muscles and my cardio.  Same is true for any large project, when I take my time work on it a little each day, it gets done without being done sloppily and again without burning me out.

Change within ourselves and change in the world we live in is often more successful when it is done little by little.  Rapid change makes us feel unsteady.  Too much paradigm shifting is usually more than we can bear in a short period of time.  But the change that is gradual the one that almost goes unnoticed I find is often the longest lasting.  It has time to become the new norm and doesn't really give a reason to look back longingly on what was.

The reason God often takes time with us and patiently helps us to little by little make the changes we need, is that he know, as we also know, that some times the best and most beautiful things in life take time.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for Septemer 27, 2014

"But about that day and hour no one knows, neither the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father."(Matthew 24:36)

One of the most important tools in living life these days is some form of colander.  A day to day planner with hours is even better.  Sometimes we even have them now on our phones or other electronic devices.

I would forget appointments if I didn't write them down.  I'd probably double book myself.  It also helps me to use the unhooked time better when I can see the day laid out.  I like to keep some flexibility but some structure is essential.  This was especially true when the boys were home.

But there is much in life that cannot be scheduled. There are things that can be placed in ranges of time, yet the more significant moments, the truly life changing ones we only see in hindsight, and usually can't prepare.

I find it amusing that there are people out there who claim to know when Jesus will return.  Did they not read the Bible?  Only one person, God, knows when the event will occur, and he isn't talking.  I figure it is because he knows human nature.  How we would begin to prepare maybe a day ahead but perhaps only a few minutes.  So by keeping us in suspense it helps us to keep our focus on doing what we should be doing.

I may pass away before Christ returns.  But in the meanwhile I will keep doing what I would hope to be found doing, should it be today

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for September 26, 2014

"So you on the outside look righteous to others, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness."(Matthew 23:28)

We all know that appearances can be deceiving.  We may see someone and our brains take in the information provided by the eyes and we make a judgment.  Sometimes are judgments are accurate, but it is true that our eyes can deceive us.  There are people who by outward appearance seem successful, wealthy, or perhaps the opposite a failure or poor.  It is also true that people can put on a good show.

If we take the time to get to know the person a little deeper than their outward appearance we might be surprised with what we learn.  I certainly have gotten to know folks who at first glance I might have thought about not engaging.  Put them into a neat little box that I've determined and go from there.  Frankly that's lazy.  When I take the risk of going deeper, I do find that my initial call was right.  But I've also been fooled at times.  Trusting when I shouldn't have.  I hope I haven't done the other way to much where choosing not to go deeper based on initial impressions and missing out on getting to know someone fascinating.

I try to make the outward me be an honest representation of the true me.  I hope that what people see is what they get, and that what they get is positive.  Might not always be true, but it is what I strive for.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for September 25, 2014

"On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets."(Matthew 22:40)

I'm not really into rules.  While I understand the purpose of rules, laws, commandments etc. it seems to me that most rules follow from a central premise and a mindset of how we interact with each other.

The point Jesus is trying to make is that of all the commandments, and some believe that throughout the Hebrew scripture there are 613, that there are two from which all the others flow, loving God with everything you are, and loving neighbor as self.

How simple.  Any of the commandments on religious practice flow from loving God with all your heart, soul and mind.  The minutia is where we get bogged down.  The same goes for commandments that address are interaction with others, love them the way you love yourself.  Even if you just looked at the "10 commandments"  they flow out of that premise.

Now at first that looks really easy, but hears the rub, you have to love yourself.  Not in an egotistical way, but in a humble way, that doesn't beat itself up but acknowledges the image of God in one's self.
But if you're not a fan of you, I doubt the loving neighbor is going to work out real well for your neighbor.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for September 24, 2014

"Whatever you ask for in prayer with faith, you will receive."(Matthew 21:22)

Prayer is an important part of the Christian life.  We are called to prayer daily.  We have prayers of intercession and prayers of thanksgiving.  Ultimately for me prayer is a continued dialogue with God and a way of keeping other people and the world in front of me.

I don't believe prayer is a mechanism for wish fulfillment.  I do believe prayer helps me prioritize and sort through my wants and my needs.  I do pray for healing for others.  That might be a physical healing but it may also be the strength to meet the challenge of bad health. Can there be a peace of mind. 

This passage challenges what I think about prayer.  The promise that I will receive what I pray for if done in faith, has not always materialized.  Is the problem the faith behind the prayers?  I don't think so.  And yet I know people who pray for things to happen and they do, and others who may pray for the same type of thing and be disappointed.  Yet I find it hard to conclude that one's faith was stronger than the others.

I have heard that people have been advised that sometimes God's answer is no.  But that too makes God seem rather selective.  I find it truer that a response comes but it doesn't always look like what I expected.  Sometimes what is received may be even more than I could have  asked or imagined.  And may actually be what I really wanted and needed deep within.

I won't stop praying just because I haven't won the lottery, and people continue to get sick and die.  I will always pray that in the midst of disappointments and sometimes joy filled moments that God is truly there.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for September 23, 2014

"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer."(Psalm 19:14)

Whenever I preach I begin with this verse.  Others say in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. But for me asking that what I say and what I've though and prepared will be acceptable to God.

I'd like to believe that every thing that comes out of my mouth would be acceptable, but I know it isn't.  There are times when I say cruel and hurtful things deliberately.  There are times when I say things that do not reflect well on who I am and perhaps show a shadow side of me that I'm not as proud of.

Same is true of my thoughts.  I'd like to believe I think in ways that would be acceptable to God, but I know that isn't true all the time.  I can be distracted by things that aren't in line with what God would have me do.  That if I gave action to them might reflect poorly on me.

So I pray every day that most of my words, most of my thoughts and my actions are heading in a God direction.  And try very hard to limit those that aren't.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for September 22, 2014

"But he said, O Lord, please send someone else."(Exodus 4:13)

Have you ever been asked by someone to do something?  And as you thought about it you weren't sure you were the best person for the job, or perhaps you really just weren't interested.  The problem being that the person asking you to help is someone who is important to you and while you may offer some excuses as to why you can't, and perhaps even suggest that someone else could do it.  In the end you wind up fulfilling the request.

Moses tries to get out of God's call by saying he's not much of a public speaker, and finally tries to say send someone else.  The problem for Moses is that God already knows this but sees in Moses a leadership quality that will be necessary.  Yes he gives Moses the help he needs to accomplish his mission, but it is overcoming Moses' reluctance and self loathing that is the greatest battle.

And I find this is true.  That rarely do we see in ourselves the gifts to be able to do what is asked of us.  And yet when we get past our own self doubts and trust that we wouldn't be asked to do something we truly were not called to do or able to do, we might be amazed at how we were exactly the right person to do it.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for September 19, 2014

"Even though you intended to do harm to me, God intended it for good."(Genesis 50:20)

One of the harder things in life to get is that not everyone has your best interests at heart.  I certainly have experienced people who have done things intentionally to me or said things about me that just weren't true in order to hurt me in some way.

It is also true that from time to time bad things happen to us.  Things beyond our control that make us say why me?  It is also true that when the initial pain of the experience ways off, we sometimes see a different outcome emerge, one that we would not have expected given the circumstances that surrounded us.  And there are even times when something good miraculously occurs and a new and incredible chapter in our lives begins.

It certainly is not easy to see it at first.  Generally it is obvious in hindsight.  Yet there happens for all of us either a learning or a new direction that emerges from the folly of others towards us, or sometimes even our own foolish choices.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for September 18, 2014

"Get behind me Satan! You are stumbling block to me; for you are setting our mind not on divine things but on human things."(Matthew 16:23)

Have you ever had someone's opinion of you change rapidly.  Gone from best buddy to worst enemy.  Maybe you're not even sure what you did to cause such a drastic change in the friendship status.

Seems to be what happens to Peter.  He goes in one chapter from getting it right about who Jesus is, to wrong about what that means and will entail.  Goes from being "The Rock" to "Satan." 

His problem of course is he didn't like Jesus' understanding of what being the Messiah means and what the result would ultimately be.  It didn't sound like a very good plan.  And so Peter, after feeling like he's the smartest kid in the class decides to tell Jesus that this is a bad plan and we need a better one.  And shazam he's now Satan.

Focusing on divine things instead of human things is easy, when the divine lines up well with what I want to happen.  Not so much when what I'd like to see happen isn't part of the divine plan.  The real problem is how do we know the difference?  We could see how well what we're thinking gels with what scripture tells us?  But sometimes scripture tells us two different things on the same subject.  Sadly we really don't get to see if something is truly divine until we see whether it succeeds or happens.  But it leaves us not fully knowing and having to trust when we decide which way to go.

Will we have enough courage to risk getting it wrong or do we stay quiet and stuck.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for September 17, 2014

"Yes, Lord, yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters' table."(Matthew 15:27)

Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me.  So goes the little child rhyme that was supposed to help us deal with the teasing and taunting from others that might be encountered when growing up.  I certainly can attest to the fact that I had more names thrown at me growing up than I care to recall.  I wish I could say that it didn't hurt, but that would be a lie. 

I certainly progressed to a point now where even if someone was to call me a name, I'd be more likely to have a snappy comeback.  It's a progression for sure, from the walk away with my head hung low and my tail between my legs, which is what I would do as a child, as a teen I probably would respond physically.  But as an adult, the snappy comeback or a little humor works wonders for me.

I like the woman's response to Jesus.  Snappy comeback for sure.  He implied that she was nothing more than a dog.  But rather than walk away defeated, she stood her ground and responded in a way that opened Jesus' eyes to her real humanity.

What are those times when we need to stand up for ourselves, not by denying what was said, but offering the other person a different perspective.  Catch them off guard and get them to examine their own biases.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for September 16, 2014

"But when he noticed the strong wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink he cried out, 'Lord save me!'"(Matthew 14:30)

Have you ever stepped out of your comfort zone and tried something that was new to you and perhaps even a little risky.  Not necessarily unsafe, but something where success was not guaranteed.
And as you venture forth, much to your surprise it seems to be working.  But as you continue questions start to come up, the original smoothness of the journey starts to evaporate, and you begin to doubt yourself and wonder why you tried this in the first place.

When we leave our comfort zone and take a leap of faith with something, we believe that we are being called by Christ to do it.  And if we can keep our focus on Christ and not the naysayers or even our own doubts and questions we might find success.  However if we allow those things to distract us, sinking is about the only thing will probably occur.

Sometimes it seems easier just to stay in the comfort of the familiar and just keep rowing.  But from time to time you have to get out of the boat.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for September 15, 2014

"And they took offense at him. But Jesus said to them, 'Prophets are not without honor except in their own country and in their own house.'"(Matthew 13:57)

Next month I'm going back to Metuchen, my hometown, for my 30th High School reunion.  I'm not going back with any fear or trepidation or expectation of being rejected.  Most of the people who will be at this reunion, know that I'm a priest but also know that I'm not a holier than thou kind of person.
Perhaps if I'd gone back before the Facebook era, it might have been different.  Reunions are funny that way, people recalling by gone days and some perhaps keeping you frozen in time. 

I find it true that who I am now is not exactly who I was as a person growing up.  Are any of us really.  And while who I was growing up wasn't all that bad, no bizarre reputation to live down, there might be some who could not allow for the growth that I've had as person.

Maybe that's why for some of us going back to our hometown is something we avoid for the most part. Can we be taken seriously for who we are now?  Or will we still be that same person that they remember, even if we'd just assume forget.

There are of course others who never leave their hometown.  Perhaps they grow to become different in the locals eyes.  But it is also possible that they can get just as stuck in the past.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for September 11, 2014

"Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth; I have not come to bring peace, but a sword."(Matthew 10:34)

On the anniversary of the terrorists attacks on our country, many of us continue to pray for peace and healing among the nations.  Certainly healing for those who suffered loss of loved ones on that day, but also for those who lost loved ones as a result of our reaction to that attack in our military excursions into Iraq and now Afghanistan, and as of last night now potentially Syria.

Where does it ever end.  As the dad of an enlisted Navy personnel I assure you I take these situations very seriously.  But I also believe fully in the Prince of Peace.

Yet here's that line from Jesus saying no peace but a sword.  That is usually the rhetoric of the militant, not peacemakers. 

I do know that conflict within and without is real, even when following Jesus.  How do we reconcile that inner conflict between a violent response to terrorism versus calls for peace and unity?  With threats seemingly everywhere, which way does our faith point us to?

I don't know the answer, and when looking at a group like ISIS, I am in conflict, a sword indeed. 

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for September 10, 2014

"When the Pharisees saw him this, they said to his disciples, 'Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?'"(Matthew 9:11)

Has anyone ever questioned why you are hanging out with someone?  Personally I have a wide variety of friends.  They cut across the spectrum of politics, religious commitments, gender, race, sexual orientation, class and age.  I've always tried to just be with people and accept them for who they are.  If they want to be my friend, I'm happy to have them as friends.

For me that is a way of patterning my life after Christ.  I notice that he stays engaged with the people he encounters, even those who question everything he does, eg. The Pharisees.  Jesus never concerns himself with public opinion but chooses to befriend everyone and anyone who responds to the invitation.

I'm richer for having this variety in my social circles.  I'm glad to not be pigeon holed into being seen with only a particular clique.  If there are people who don't like that I have friends who aren't like them, that's their problem not mine.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for September 9, 2014

"A windstorm arose on the sea, so great that the boat was being swamped by the waves; but he was asleep."(Matthew 8:24)

I have heard and probably said myself from time to time I'm just swamped.  That notion of feeling overwhelmed by all that there is to do on a given day.  Trying to sort through it all, determining what is a priority, what would be nice to get to, and also what will have to wait.

The problem with feeling swamped is that it usually affects one's abilities to sort through everything rationally.  Most of the time we just feel like quitting and going down with the ship.  We might ask for help if we are smart, maybe delegate some of the tasks to others.  But there is also the reality that there might be no one to delegate these things to.  Perhaps there aren't tasks at all, but things going on in our lives that overwhelm us emotionally and we feel "swamped and sinking."

We find in the next verse that Jesus was in that same boat, but apparently not feeling the same level of anxiety over the storm or the swamping of the boat.  He was so calm as to be asleep.  But when called upon, he took care of it.  I wonder if he was annoyed at being woken up.

In our lives when we have that feeling of perishing are we willing to wake up  our "sleeping Jesus."  My hope is that our conversations with him and his presence in our lives is such, that he hasn't fallen asleep and that we don't just wake him up, when we are in another fine mess.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for September 8, 2014

"In everything, do to others as you would have them do to you; for this is the law and the prophets."(Matthew 7:12)

Everyone has heard of the "Golden Rule."  Some variation of it can be found in every religion, every philosophical school.

I've heard it phrased in a cautionary way, "do not do to others what you would not want them to do to you."  And while I don't disagree with that, I like to frame things in a positive, and also this seems to be a way of stopping bad behavior not promoting good behavior.

When I have to choose an action I try to keep in mind Jesus' take on this ethic of reciprocity.  What will I do in that case.  If the situation was mine to receive action from another, what would I hope that they would do?  And then I try to go and do it!

It is also true that I don't see it as do unto others as they have done to you.  That just feels like revenge if it is a negative, though I will concede that it is also trying to keep you from going overboard in your response.  Of course if what occurs is positive, then it becomes almost a pay it forward moment.

But I still come back to treating others the way I want to be treated.  There response to that, is out of my control.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for September 6, 2014

"Beware of practicing your piety before others in order to be seen by them; for then you have no reward from your Father in heaven."(Matthew 6:1)

At the end of August I was out in Seattle. The Thursday before I left I had the chance to walk around the streets of that city.  On at least two occasions I saw a person standing on the corner with a sign, telling others to either accept the Lord Jesus, or something about the 10 commandments, they were clearly in favor of them.

I had a fleeting moment of temptation to go engage them by asking how they understood Matthew 6.  Did it mean anything to them given what they were doing.  I chose not to give into that temptation for a couple of reasons.  First, I was more interested in sight seeing than entering into a theological debate.  Second, I doubted they would understand or get my point. Finally, I realized I had made a promise to respect the dignity of every human being and getting in their face would violate that and bring me down to a level I wasn't interested in.

I do wish that more people would spend time doing things in the name of Jesus that he actually told us to do.  I doubt that standing on a street corner does much to honor the Lord, but probably reinforces the feeling of those who are doing it, that in their suffering and rejection by others they are honoring God.  Again if their passion could only be channeled in a different direction.

While I don't stand on street corners, I do wonder if there are things I do that amount to practicing my piety before others, so that I'll be noticed by them.  Yes I should practice my piety but only to strengthen my relationship with God.  The moment I seek accolades from others I'm in trouble.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for September 5, 2014

"Let your word be Yes, Yes or no, no anything more than this comes from the evil one."(Matthew 5:37)

Have you ever been told it is a simple yes or no question?   I often think nothing is ever a simple yes or no.  I'd like to give some thought before giving an answer.  Eventually every request made of us or by us needs a yes or a no.

We know that saying yes when we really mean no usually puts us in an awkward place.  Saying no, when we really could have and should have is also problematic.

If we can get ourselves to a place of saying yes, when we really mean yes, and no when we really mean no, and following through and sticking with our decisions life is a lot smoother.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflection for September 4, 2014

"And the Lord said, 'Look, they are one people, and they have all one language, and this is only the beginning of what they will do; nothing that they propose to do will not be impossible for them.'"(Genesis 11:6)

If you hope to ever get anything accomplished as a group, communication is key.  Even if is not a group, but just you and one other person, understanding each other is essential.

If someone doesn't speak English, I'm at a loss, because I too don't speak other languages. I wish I did.  Four years of Spanish in High School got me no comprendo.

But I also know that my lack of knowledge in other languages is just one stumbling block to communication. I can think that what I'm saying is quite clear and still get a response of I don't understand.

In this passage God doesn't seem pleased with human cooperation.  That's why he causes them to babble.  Perhaps what he saw them doing was not cooperating in any way that was positive.  They were on the same track just the wrong one.

I always long for greater cooperation and understanding with others.  Wouldn't it be wonderful if not only things wouldn't feel so impossible but that they would also be things worth doing together.

Blessings,
Ed