"Whenever he goes to the desert he returns to the city to preach the word with new power. What is this word? That the Father has absolute claim to our fidelity, our love and our life, that God's love is unconditional and forever." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 142)
Going away for a while, just to be alone. Most of us wish for such a time. Sometimes we call it vacation, sometimes a retreat. And of course there are just times when we want to run away from everything.
Whatever the prompting to recreation, it is ultimately to recreate, to recharge and to renew. Sometimes our vacations tire us out more than the thing we were escaping. But when they are truly rest filled and enjoyable, we can come back ready to take on our small piece of the world. To once again address the challenges, issues and tasks which lie before us.
Jesus knew he that going away for a while would only give him more energy. And maybe this is one of those WWJD moments. When I get to the place of feeling worn down, empty or useless, to remind myself of that unconditional and unending love, and the invitation to go away for a time and let God renew.
Blessings,
Ed
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Reflections for 3/30/10
"Salvation is now. We have a tendency to point ourselves backward or forward in time, but the Gospels say either we are letting Jesus save us now, or we aren't letting him save us at all. It's called the always-available grace of the present time." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 141)
I have noticed a peculiar habit I have in my alone time. I will either go backward in time, usually to high school or college, and try to think of what I would do differently or I'll dream about the future, 4 years until the boys are hopefully in college, 14 years and I can contemplate retiring.
I don't know why I avoid dreaming about today. Perhaps it is that today just is. Today will have its tasks to do. It may have some surprises, but most likely will fall into a predictable pattern.
I will say that when my today needs the most of me, I don't spend a lot of time remembering the past or dreaming about the future. And it is also true that when my day is filled or starts to fill up rapidly, that I need that readily available grace the most.
I believe that grace was with me in those past times, and I feel assured that it will be there in the future as well.
While I believe that one act saved once for all. I need to renew my reception and living into it daily.
Blessings,
Ed
I have noticed a peculiar habit I have in my alone time. I will either go backward in time, usually to high school or college, and try to think of what I would do differently or I'll dream about the future, 4 years until the boys are hopefully in college, 14 years and I can contemplate retiring.
I don't know why I avoid dreaming about today. Perhaps it is that today just is. Today will have its tasks to do. It may have some surprises, but most likely will fall into a predictable pattern.
I will say that when my today needs the most of me, I don't spend a lot of time remembering the past or dreaming about the future. And it is also true that when my day is filled or starts to fill up rapidly, that I need that readily available grace the most.
I believe that grace was with me in those past times, and I feel assured that it will be there in the future as well.
While I believe that one act saved once for all. I need to renew my reception and living into it daily.
Blessings,
Ed
Monday, March 29, 2010
Reflections for 3/29/10
"Why would God give us anything we ourselves were not willing to work for? We don't want it very bad if we're not cooperating in the effort. We pray 'Do it God!', but also 'We will do it, too!' God creates and invites us to co-create. What trust and infinite patience."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 140)
This quote is part of an analysis of the Lord's prayer, specifically the forgiveness part, you know the forgive us our sins, trespasses, debts, as we forgive those....
It certainly would be easier if God would just take care of everything. If God would just focus on Ed's needs and ignore everyone else. Yet what I have found is that God does take care of my needs by showing me how to deal with my problems and my needs. How this works is never as simple as me telling God what to do and it happening. Grace is more of things happening, not by my own efforts alone, but by co-working with God.
God does take care of the world's problems, generally not by some divine intervention, but by the creating and stirring of compassion in human beings towards each other. If we are looking for compassion and mercy from God yet unwilling to offer the same to others, we will be incredibly disappointed. Not that God rewards it, but there is no way to receive what we are closed to offering others.
Blessings,
Ed
This quote is part of an analysis of the Lord's prayer, specifically the forgiveness part, you know the forgive us our sins, trespasses, debts, as we forgive those....
It certainly would be easier if God would just take care of everything. If God would just focus on Ed's needs and ignore everyone else. Yet what I have found is that God does take care of my needs by showing me how to deal with my problems and my needs. How this works is never as simple as me telling God what to do and it happening. Grace is more of things happening, not by my own efforts alone, but by co-working with God.
God does take care of the world's problems, generally not by some divine intervention, but by the creating and stirring of compassion in human beings towards each other. If we are looking for compassion and mercy from God yet unwilling to offer the same to others, we will be incredibly disappointed. Not that God rewards it, but there is no way to receive what we are closed to offering others.
Blessings,
Ed
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Reflections for 3/28/10
"When you say, 'I love you,' you give the other power over you. You give the other power to destroy you and the power to create you. Jesus spoke those words to his creation and we took him at his word." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 139)
Three very powerful words, I love you. Words we hopefully hear from our parents. Words we start testing out as teenagers when we begin to explore relationships. And words we hopefully say and hear regularly in our deepest relationships with life-long partners.
It is because those words are so powerful that when they are betrayed it is so devastating. It is also true than when the feeling is truly mutual it can be the most life giving of all.
In a certain way God through the gift of free will has given us power over him. While we can't destroy God, we can choose to not love God. We also are invited to be continuing co-creators with God by accepting that love.
Perhaps that's why the greatest commandment of all is to love.
Blessings,
Ed
Three very powerful words, I love you. Words we hopefully hear from our parents. Words we start testing out as teenagers when we begin to explore relationships. And words we hopefully say and hear regularly in our deepest relationships with life-long partners.
It is because those words are so powerful that when they are betrayed it is so devastating. It is also true than when the feeling is truly mutual it can be the most life giving of all.
In a certain way God through the gift of free will has given us power over him. While we can't destroy God, we can choose to not love God. We also are invited to be continuing co-creators with God by accepting that love.
Perhaps that's why the greatest commandment of all is to love.
Blessings,
Ed
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Reflections for 3/27/10
"You cannot build on fear, guilt, coercion or even idealism. You cannot build on Gospel passages, Church commandments, or papal mandates unless they are ultimately putting you in touch with life." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 138)
I have often thought that the best way to start something positive, would be to state what you are for. Regrettably most of the time I hear what people are against. They may try to frame it as being for something, but below the surface you will quickly find that it is about being against something.
We have way too much brokering in fear these days. Way too many guilt trips and very little realistic goals. Everything seems to me to be all or nothing. There is no room anymore for gradually growing into anything.
If I have ever been an agent of change, it has been done in a way that no one knew what was happening. One brick at a time is a mantra of sorts for me. You will not find me operating from a place of fear. Nor will I guilt people out. Jesus almost never does it and that's a good enough model for me.
Blessings,
Ed
I have often thought that the best way to start something positive, would be to state what you are for. Regrettably most of the time I hear what people are against. They may try to frame it as being for something, but below the surface you will quickly find that it is about being against something.
We have way too much brokering in fear these days. Way too many guilt trips and very little realistic goals. Everything seems to me to be all or nothing. There is no room anymore for gradually growing into anything.
If I have ever been an agent of change, it has been done in a way that no one knew what was happening. One brick at a time is a mantra of sorts for me. You will not find me operating from a place of fear. Nor will I guilt people out. Jesus almost never does it and that's a good enough model for me.
Blessings,
Ed
Reflections for 3/26/10
"We religious people come on with our predetermined conclusions, bible quotes and dogmas- all so that we don't have to receive reality, receive the moment as it is. For some reason it is easier to hold opinions than to just be aware and awakened." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" pp. 137-138)
Our culture is certainly dominated by opinions. We are bombarded daily by opinion. No matter what our medium of choice, there is someone sharing their opinion and often trying to turn it into fact. At some level this blog is also opinion. My hope is that it tries to get the gray matter between the ears stimulated more than just the central nervous system.
Of course it is much safer to parrot the "talking points" than to actually think for one self. It is much easier to lob bible quotes and dogmas than to use them as we think out the where we are at the moment. I suppose that truly stems from reality being a tad to overwhelming sometimes, especially when it feels like something has done a radical shift from what "we've always believed."
I'd like to try and live in the moment, to take each day as it comes. And there are days when how I handle things or how I've answered in the past suffices for that moment. But there are those moments that what I've been equipped with is insufficient for the reality in front of me.
Blessings,
Ed
Our culture is certainly dominated by opinions. We are bombarded daily by opinion. No matter what our medium of choice, there is someone sharing their opinion and often trying to turn it into fact. At some level this blog is also opinion. My hope is that it tries to get the gray matter between the ears stimulated more than just the central nervous system.
Of course it is much safer to parrot the "talking points" than to actually think for one self. It is much easier to lob bible quotes and dogmas than to use them as we think out the where we are at the moment. I suppose that truly stems from reality being a tad to overwhelming sometimes, especially when it feels like something has done a radical shift from what "we've always believed."
I'd like to try and live in the moment, to take each day as it comes. And there are days when how I handle things or how I've answered in the past suffices for that moment. But there are those moments that what I've been equipped with is insufficient for the reality in front of me.
Blessings,
Ed
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Reflections for 3/25/10
"God revealed to me that I was loved exactly as I was. There was nothing to attain...And I knew that I didn't have to apologize for my humanity. I didn't have to apologize for who I was. I didn't have to prove myself...I was a child of god. And I could go on my way rejoicing. I could go on my way lifting up my heart to the Lord knowing that I was going to fail. But somehow it didn't matter anymore. I was loved and that alone mattered. It was my baptism in the Spirit." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" pp.136-137)
I grew up with the theology that God loves me warts and all. And in some ways that is a liberating statement. At a minimum it frees me from self-loathing and always trying to prove myself.
Having said that, I wouldn't want to just stay in that place, especially if there are things about me that need to change. The will to change comes from the knowledge that I am loved. That knowledge invites me to risk failing or no longer being trapped by the less than desirable aspects of myself.
That love is the foundation to build my life upon, it is not the reward for building the perfect life. That love is the fuel that drives the desire to live a truly worthwhile life. It is not the reward for doing all the right things.
God's love is not reward based, that's the world's love. God's love makes me want to change when things need to change. The world's love says change and then we'll see.
Blessings,
Ed
I grew up with the theology that God loves me warts and all. And in some ways that is a liberating statement. At a minimum it frees me from self-loathing and always trying to prove myself.
Having said that, I wouldn't want to just stay in that place, especially if there are things about me that need to change. The will to change comes from the knowledge that I am loved. That knowledge invites me to risk failing or no longer being trapped by the less than desirable aspects of myself.
That love is the foundation to build my life upon, it is not the reward for building the perfect life. That love is the fuel that drives the desire to live a truly worthwhile life. It is not the reward for doing all the right things.
God's love is not reward based, that's the world's love. God's love makes me want to change when things need to change. The world's love says change and then we'll see.
Blessings,
Ed
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Reflections for 3/24/10
"But human beings always think we have to earn God's love. We work for it and ,by doing good things for God, think we are going to get God's blessing and love in return. This is Jesus and me religion. It ends up being a self-centered morality of self-perfection and discipline. Christians have so commonly used the phrase, "I must save my soul."....As long as you're busy saving your soul, you're preventing God from saving your soul." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" pp.135-136)
While salvation comes from belief, it is also true that there are examples in scripture where people seem to want to know what they must do to be save or to be right with God. Our natural default position is ourselves. Regrettably, what's in it for Ed, is often one of the first questions I ask. Somewhat selfish and definitely self serving.
I find it interesting that when Jesus gets asked that question, he tries to make it easy, and then ultimately when the answer isn't satisfactory really gives the person something to think about, and its usually more than they're willing to do.
I will not be saved by doing good things, for behaving. I'm already saved by virtue of my relationship with Christ. Having said that, if I am then not doing good things and attempting to lead a positive life, I'm basically making that relationship worthless.
There does not exist a checklist of what to do. Actions don't bring salvation, it is freely offered. Once accepted it is supposed to lead to action.
Blessings,
Ed
While salvation comes from belief, it is also true that there are examples in scripture where people seem to want to know what they must do to be save or to be right with God. Our natural default position is ourselves. Regrettably, what's in it for Ed, is often one of the first questions I ask. Somewhat selfish and definitely self serving.
I find it interesting that when Jesus gets asked that question, he tries to make it easy, and then ultimately when the answer isn't satisfactory really gives the person something to think about, and its usually more than they're willing to do.
I will not be saved by doing good things, for behaving. I'm already saved by virtue of my relationship with Christ. Having said that, if I am then not doing good things and attempting to lead a positive life, I'm basically making that relationship worthless.
There does not exist a checklist of what to do. Actions don't bring salvation, it is freely offered. Once accepted it is supposed to lead to action.
Blessings,
Ed
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Reflections for 3/23/10
"Christian life, then, is a matter of becoming who we already are." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 135)
Who am I? The big question in many ways for me. We spend most of our lives constantly trying things on, and yet struggling to answer that question definitively. We'll change jobs, churches, political affiliations, friendships, all in attempts to grasp at who we are essentially. Allowing us to be defined by very superficial categories.
Honestly I don't know what to do about that. I wish I could stop asking that question. At what point do I just say, Ed is Ed. Parts of Ed are outstanding, other parts annoying (to myself and others).
What I need to be more observant of is when I do things that are not truly representative of the person I am. When I betray core values with flippant remarks. When I allow myself to get caught up in mindless time wasting non-activity.
It may be also true that in spending so much time on the who am I question, one that was answered at the time of my baptism, that I may be ignoring the real question: What do I want?
Blessings,
Ed
Who am I? The big question in many ways for me. We spend most of our lives constantly trying things on, and yet struggling to answer that question definitively. We'll change jobs, churches, political affiliations, friendships, all in attempts to grasp at who we are essentially. Allowing us to be defined by very superficial categories.
Honestly I don't know what to do about that. I wish I could stop asking that question. At what point do I just say, Ed is Ed. Parts of Ed are outstanding, other parts annoying (to myself and others).
What I need to be more observant of is when I do things that are not truly representative of the person I am. When I betray core values with flippant remarks. When I allow myself to get caught up in mindless time wasting non-activity.
It may be also true that in spending so much time on the who am I question, one that was answered at the time of my baptism, that I may be ignoring the real question: What do I want?
Blessings,
Ed
Monday, March 22, 2010
Reflections for 3/22/10
"The answer will come out of the tempest, an answer that cannot always be verbalized to your children and husband or wife. But it will be an answer that you know. It is a conviction that is deep and all pervasive. No one can give it to you, no one can take it away; It is a gift from God. You cannot prove it to anyone, but you no longer need to. Believe me when I say it: The deepest levels of faith will still feel like confusion-but you are no longer confused by your confusion!" (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 134)
There are often things given that are packaged as the answer, yet often times there is something that comes along to undermine that answer, or to at least cause more questioning.
There are certainly more things in life that happen that make very little sense to me. There are times when what I thought I knew to be obvious, become a little less clear. And yet the muddledness of life has yet to make me want to throw up my arms and quit. I don't know why it is but I have no problem with ambiguity or living in the gray areas of life. I have a higher tolerance for the unknown. There are often times when things become clearer or work themselves out and I have no idea how or why. Yet I can live with the unknowing and maybe that's faith to a certain extent.
I do not have a rational well organized argument for why I believe, I just know that I do. I'm also not interested in wasting time in debate over it, either with non-believers or even believers sometimes.
I do tend to follow my gut, especially when I'm feeling brave. And those times when I chicken out, I'm often surprised by how my initial call the one that if I'd stayed with it, would have been proven to be right.
Blessings,
Ed
There are often things given that are packaged as the answer, yet often times there is something that comes along to undermine that answer, or to at least cause more questioning.
There are certainly more things in life that happen that make very little sense to me. There are times when what I thought I knew to be obvious, become a little less clear. And yet the muddledness of life has yet to make me want to throw up my arms and quit. I don't know why it is but I have no problem with ambiguity or living in the gray areas of life. I have a higher tolerance for the unknown. There are often times when things become clearer or work themselves out and I have no idea how or why. Yet I can live with the unknowing and maybe that's faith to a certain extent.
I do not have a rational well organized argument for why I believe, I just know that I do. I'm also not interested in wasting time in debate over it, either with non-believers or even believers sometimes.
I do tend to follow my gut, especially when I'm feeling brave. And those times when I chicken out, I'm often surprised by how my initial call the one that if I'd stayed with it, would have been proven to be right.
Blessings,
Ed
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Reflections for 3/21/10
"To have an attitude of faith is to hear the Lord speaking everywhere and all the time, in the concrete and ordinary circumstances of our lives. Then religion and life have become one, and we are never far from God. That's why people of faith never grow old and never grow tired. They don't need signs, wonders, apparitions and visions. God has quietly broken through and stands perfectly revealed in the now of things." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 133)
I've been told I look young. I don't know if that's a good thing or not. Certainly there are days when I feel young, when I don't feel like I'm almost halfway through another decade. I'm sure I'll get old chronologically, but I hope I don't grow old in the sense of being worn out and no longer enjoying the present time. I do get tired, but not weary and that's generally because I stay up to late and get up to early, and of course that's a choice.
But I do believe that a good chunk of what keeps me looking young is my faith. A faith that lives in joy, has an ability to keep heart, mind, ears and eyes open. I don't worry so much about what God once did but instead choose to see what God is doing now, and look forward to what God might have in store for me next.
When we relegate God solely to the past, we close our ears to hear what he is saying now. And when God only acts in the past, then we do grow old and tired. Because the changes that occur daily in our midst become more than we can handle.
Today is a new day in my relationship with God. What will God think of next?
Blessings,
Ed
I've been told I look young. I don't know if that's a good thing or not. Certainly there are days when I feel young, when I don't feel like I'm almost halfway through another decade. I'm sure I'll get old chronologically, but I hope I don't grow old in the sense of being worn out and no longer enjoying the present time. I do get tired, but not weary and that's generally because I stay up to late and get up to early, and of course that's a choice.
But I do believe that a good chunk of what keeps me looking young is my faith. A faith that lives in joy, has an ability to keep heart, mind, ears and eyes open. I don't worry so much about what God once did but instead choose to see what God is doing now, and look forward to what God might have in store for me next.
When we relegate God solely to the past, we close our ears to hear what he is saying now. And when God only acts in the past, then we do grow old and tired. Because the changes that occur daily in our midst become more than we can handle.
Today is a new day in my relationship with God. What will God think of next?
Blessings,
Ed
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Reflections for 3/20/10
"The lame of the world still come to the Body of Christ and look at us expectantly, as they looked at Peter and John hoping to get something from us. What does the church say to them in many and varied forms? 'Silver and gold we have plenty of. Come join our parish. We have a credit union, very democratic. We have a pastoral council. We have a guitar Mass. We're very avant-garde, hanging banners in our church. We're up to date and will meet your every need...But no one has the courage to say: 'May I talk to you about Jesus? Let me pray with you. The Lord will teach you the meaning of forgiveness. The Lord will teach you the meaning of Church, of Scriptures. Come follow Jesus.'"(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 132)
One of the challenges that I see in the post-Christendom world that we live in is the church struggling to try and be the world around it, rather than trying to meet the world around it. I haven't yet met a clergy person who doesn't bang his or her head against a wall trying to figure out how to grow their church. The mail each day bringing some new program, new study etc, which will be the elixir of life that will suddenly turn your 40 seat church into the Crystal Cathedral.
A question that I'm wrestling with right now is what can the church offer that the rest of the world isn't covering? The only way I can think of to get an answer to that question is to start asking it out loud.
Perhaps it is not that complex. Maybe it does come down to talking about Jesus, being willing to answer questions that are asked, rather than telling folks what we think they want to hear. Maybe it just being present with them in times of joy and sorrow and offering to pray with and for them. Maybe its offering a space where God can break through and teach and lead them without a bunch of other distractions.
So I asked my vestry (church council) go ask, "what can this church do for you?"
Blessings,
Ed
One of the challenges that I see in the post-Christendom world that we live in is the church struggling to try and be the world around it, rather than trying to meet the world around it. I haven't yet met a clergy person who doesn't bang his or her head against a wall trying to figure out how to grow their church. The mail each day bringing some new program, new study etc, which will be the elixir of life that will suddenly turn your 40 seat church into the Crystal Cathedral.
A question that I'm wrestling with right now is what can the church offer that the rest of the world isn't covering? The only way I can think of to get an answer to that question is to start asking it out loud.
Perhaps it is not that complex. Maybe it does come down to talking about Jesus, being willing to answer questions that are asked, rather than telling folks what we think they want to hear. Maybe it just being present with them in times of joy and sorrow and offering to pray with and for them. Maybe its offering a space where God can break through and teach and lead them without a bunch of other distractions.
So I asked my vestry (church council) go ask, "what can this church do for you?"
Blessings,
Ed
Friday, March 19, 2010
Reflections for 3/19/10
"Humans do not want love relationships; we want religion and all its trappings because that is much more comfortable. A love relationship continues to challenge and make demands. It also offers a joy that we cannot tolerate; too near, too lavish, too spacious. What might we do with such freedom? It's easier just to go to church." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 131)
At first I wanted to challenge Fr. Rohr on his statement about humans not wanting love relationships. Isn't that actually what most of us want, someone to love and to be loved back? Probably, but how about the same for faith. Do we really want a God of love? We want a friendly God, one who won't come down on us like a ton of bricks, but ultimately to enter into a faith commitment that makes demands of us and challenges some if not all of our cherished biases, then we might get a little hesitant.
Of course sometimes the church also doesn't make too many demands or challenges either. We've become hesitant, because we may then have to meet the demands and challenges of those who've accepted our invitation.
But what an amazing thing it could be if the church and its members continued to challenge each other. To not accept the love of God in vain, but to see that freedom as a chance to change ourselves and the world for the better.
But until both church and people can learn to love each other, they will be hesitant to enter into a loving relationship with God.
Blessings,
Ed
At first I wanted to challenge Fr. Rohr on his statement about humans not wanting love relationships. Isn't that actually what most of us want, someone to love and to be loved back? Probably, but how about the same for faith. Do we really want a God of love? We want a friendly God, one who won't come down on us like a ton of bricks, but ultimately to enter into a faith commitment that makes demands of us and challenges some if not all of our cherished biases, then we might get a little hesitant.
Of course sometimes the church also doesn't make too many demands or challenges either. We've become hesitant, because we may then have to meet the demands and challenges of those who've accepted our invitation.
But what an amazing thing it could be if the church and its members continued to challenge each other. To not accept the love of God in vain, but to see that freedom as a chance to change ourselves and the world for the better.
But until both church and people can learn to love each other, they will be hesitant to enter into a loving relationship with God.
Blessings,
Ed
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Reflections for 3/18/10
"Our temptation is always to shorten the time, make our timetable God's timetable. We want to get out and get it over with. But we cannot rush the journey of faith. We have to attune ourselves to its times and seasons. You can't bake a cake quicker by turning up the heat to 450 degrees, nor can you slow it down by lowering it to 200. It will flop either way." (R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 131)
Why is this taking so long? That always seems to be the daily question. Whether we're stuck in traffic, on hold with the phone, waiting for some file to download or whatever it is that has swept away that last grain of patience.
If I try to be in control of how fast or slow things go, it won't take long for frustration to set in. If I'm in a rush, it is almost a rule that something will get in the way. And if I'm going slow there's somebody else making me feel uncomfortable.
A picture that came into my mind is of being in a canoe. The most enjoyable canoeing is when the river takes you. You might have to paddle a little to steer, but ultimately how fast or slow you're going is based on the speed of the current. Perhaps life well lived is like that. Not trying to control every piece of minutia, but using the gifts and talents we have to make the ride safe and enjoyable.
When I try to have my timing in sync with God's, ultimately I won't be doing much. If I really need to move faster, I'll know, but I won't rush just for the sake of rushing. If I need to slow down, I'll know, but I won't go slow just for the sake of going slow.
There is a right speed for every moment. And when we're traveling life at that speed, our moments are much more enjoyable.
Blessings,
Ed
Why is this taking so long? That always seems to be the daily question. Whether we're stuck in traffic, on hold with the phone, waiting for some file to download or whatever it is that has swept away that last grain of patience.
If I try to be in control of how fast or slow things go, it won't take long for frustration to set in. If I'm in a rush, it is almost a rule that something will get in the way. And if I'm going slow there's somebody else making me feel uncomfortable.
A picture that came into my mind is of being in a canoe. The most enjoyable canoeing is when the river takes you. You might have to paddle a little to steer, but ultimately how fast or slow you're going is based on the speed of the current. Perhaps life well lived is like that. Not trying to control every piece of minutia, but using the gifts and talents we have to make the ride safe and enjoyable.
When I try to have my timing in sync with God's, ultimately I won't be doing much. If I really need to move faster, I'll know, but I won't rush just for the sake of rushing. If I need to slow down, I'll know, but I won't go slow just for the sake of going slow.
There is a right speed for every moment. And when we're traveling life at that speed, our moments are much more enjoyable.
Blessings,
Ed
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Reflections for 3/17/10
"It's not easy, because we want to have our pathway illuminated in front of us. We want to know where, how, why we're going. Faith, though, is the security to be insecure. Our trust is in God and not in our own cleverness. It's not in our ingenuity, our planning, our personality, status, money." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 130)
There is an ad out there now for some financial company where a green path suddenly appears showing people their path to financial success. The message being stay on this path and don't detour and all will be fine. Most of us wish that such a thing existed in all aspects of life. Yet we know that is not real.
When we face decisions there always seems to be more questions than answers. Sometimes even the answers beget more questions. And yet somehow, even without everything lined up, even in the absence of a triptik through life, we step out each day.
I honestly don't know what each day has in store for me totally. I have a vague idea, but something may happen that throws all my best laid plans right out the window. And at that point, all of the self-created security and certainty are gone. It is at that moment that faith kicks in for me.
My security is supposed to be my belief that God is always with me. Yet that is a somewhat insecure place, because its not always obvious. There are of course many ways in which I've been given gifts from God, which make living in this world, and stepping forth each day in faith easier to do. The question will always be, will I remember those gifts and use them when I need them? Will I trust that I actually have everything I need to meet the day ahead?
I hope so, but in that insecurity, I feel fairly secure.
Blessings,
Ed
There is an ad out there now for some financial company where a green path suddenly appears showing people their path to financial success. The message being stay on this path and don't detour and all will be fine. Most of us wish that such a thing existed in all aspects of life. Yet we know that is not real.
When we face decisions there always seems to be more questions than answers. Sometimes even the answers beget more questions. And yet somehow, even without everything lined up, even in the absence of a triptik through life, we step out each day.
I honestly don't know what each day has in store for me totally. I have a vague idea, but something may happen that throws all my best laid plans right out the window. And at that point, all of the self-created security and certainty are gone. It is at that moment that faith kicks in for me.
My security is supposed to be my belief that God is always with me. Yet that is a somewhat insecure place, because its not always obvious. There are of course many ways in which I've been given gifts from God, which make living in this world, and stepping forth each day in faith easier to do. The question will always be, will I remember those gifts and use them when I need them? Will I trust that I actually have everything I need to meet the day ahead?
I hope so, but in that insecurity, I feel fairly secure.
Blessings,
Ed
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Reflections for 3/16/10
"We say 'give us this day our daily bread.' How strange these words sound to a people with savings accounts, insurance policies and three-year warranties, even on their toasters!" (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 129)
Like most people I too have all of those things, well maybe not a warranty on the toaster, but certainly on the car, well at least a service contract. I also of course have my annuity for when I retire.
I don't know if I have these things because I'm afraid of financial disaster or never having enough, or just because I was told that is the financially responsible thing to do. But whatever reason, it is true that I seem to have more than my daily bread in terms of material things.
When I hear that part of the Lord's Prayer, I often picture asking God, to give me what I need to get through this day. Most of that is not material. I'd like enough energy and focus to get done what needs to get done, that is for me the daily bread.
Funny how those things we think will give us security are actually quite risky. The recent economic situation has put many in a precarious state. I'm thankful I don't need that retirement account right now, and will hope that in 14-20 years its still there.
For now I'll just have to live with what I have and say thank you for the daily bread.
Blessings,
Ed
Like most people I too have all of those things, well maybe not a warranty on the toaster, but certainly on the car, well at least a service contract. I also of course have my annuity for when I retire.
I don't know if I have these things because I'm afraid of financial disaster or never having enough, or just because I was told that is the financially responsible thing to do. But whatever reason, it is true that I seem to have more than my daily bread in terms of material things.
When I hear that part of the Lord's Prayer, I often picture asking God, to give me what I need to get through this day. Most of that is not material. I'd like enough energy and focus to get done what needs to get done, that is for me the daily bread.
Funny how those things we think will give us security are actually quite risky. The recent economic situation has put many in a precarious state. I'm thankful I don't need that retirement account right now, and will hope that in 14-20 years its still there.
For now I'll just have to live with what I have and say thank you for the daily bread.
Blessings,
Ed
Monday, March 15, 2010
Reflections for 3/15/10
"I try to keep a blank sheet as much as possible in my life, and its a blank sheet you've got to seek again everyday. Get your own agenda, hurts, neediness and fears out of the way, so that you've offered God a blank sheet to write on when it's time to write some words on your soul." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 128)
Trying to find a blank sheet of paper is very hard for me. Most of the paper in this house already has writing on it. Most communications are done via email and that's partially an environmental choice I suppose.
But there is very little in my life that feels like a blank sheet. My date book seems full of activity, my to do list always has something on it. But this image of a blank sheet before God as I enter into my daily prayer time is intriguing. Most of the time I already have my "what to let God know about list" which is silly since I believe God knows everything. But what would happen if I get that part out of the way, but then do not end the prayer time. If I enter into a period where I'm doing the listening rather than all the talking. And have a literal and metaphorical blank sheet with me. I may be very surprised at what I hear.
Yes each day should feel like a blank sheet, a fresh start. Yet because of our overly planned lives there's little room for surprises or spur of the moment decisions. And yet those can be the very thing that God wants us to be attentive to.
Blessings,
Ed
Trying to find a blank sheet of paper is very hard for me. Most of the paper in this house already has writing on it. Most communications are done via email and that's partially an environmental choice I suppose.
But there is very little in my life that feels like a blank sheet. My date book seems full of activity, my to do list always has something on it. But this image of a blank sheet before God as I enter into my daily prayer time is intriguing. Most of the time I already have my "what to let God know about list" which is silly since I believe God knows everything. But what would happen if I get that part out of the way, but then do not end the prayer time. If I enter into a period where I'm doing the listening rather than all the talking. And have a literal and metaphorical blank sheet with me. I may be very surprised at what I hear.
Yes each day should feel like a blank sheet, a fresh start. Yet because of our overly planned lives there's little room for surprises or spur of the moment decisions. And yet those can be the very thing that God wants us to be attentive to.
Blessings,
Ed
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Reflections for 3/14/10
"Moses said to God, 'Who am I to go to Pharaoh and bring the people of Israel out of Egypt?'(Exodus 3:11) The Lord answers, 'I shall be with you.' That's all. Simply, I'll be with you! He wouldn't tell Moses how to do it. He doesn't give him a timetable any directions-simply 'I'll be with you.'(Ex 3:12)" (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 127)
My inclination is to not have a plan or an itinerary. However I live with other people so I usually have to have one. Personally I wouldn't find it hard to leave on a journey and just go, but not everyone is able to do that, so to get folks to follow they usually like to know where they are going.
Everyday we're asked to go out into the world and most of us leave with our datebooks, and smart phones ready to tell us where to be. In our work there is usually a set way to do things in order to achieve our goals.
There are of course risk takers out there, people who venture forth with little more than a wing and a prayer. They usually have the more interesting, though not always successful experiences.
I wonder if I would be willing to go into something on nothing more than pure trust? While I do believe that God is constantly present, is that presence enough for me to risk going into the unknown? I would like to think so.
The other part of the Moses-God dialogue that enters into the how much will we trust is this. Moses asks for a sign, how does he know that it is really God talking to him? The answer, when it's over you'll worship on this mountain. That's not much of a sign, but it is a continued nudging into a place of trust. We won't know whether what we do is truly of God, until the journey is over.
Blessings,
Ed
My inclination is to not have a plan or an itinerary. However I live with other people so I usually have to have one. Personally I wouldn't find it hard to leave on a journey and just go, but not everyone is able to do that, so to get folks to follow they usually like to know where they are going.
Everyday we're asked to go out into the world and most of us leave with our datebooks, and smart phones ready to tell us where to be. In our work there is usually a set way to do things in order to achieve our goals.
There are of course risk takers out there, people who venture forth with little more than a wing and a prayer. They usually have the more interesting, though not always successful experiences.
I wonder if I would be willing to go into something on nothing more than pure trust? While I do believe that God is constantly present, is that presence enough for me to risk going into the unknown? I would like to think so.
The other part of the Moses-God dialogue that enters into the how much will we trust is this. Moses asks for a sign, how does he know that it is really God talking to him? The answer, when it's over you'll worship on this mountain. That's not much of a sign, but it is a continued nudging into a place of trust. We won't know whether what we do is truly of God, until the journey is over.
Blessings,
Ed
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Reflections for 3/13/10
"If we haven't forgiven the enemy within, we will never know how to love and forgive the "enemies" without." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 126)
I am my own worst enemy. That would seem to be fairly obvious. When I look back on when things have not gone the way I would have liked, I can usually see where I've shot myself in the foot, or undermined my own best efforts. I'm never thrilled when I make that discovery, because it always seems to lead to a "why" question. And then the circle continues.
When I discover the answer to the "why" I then need to take the next step, which is to acknowledge the mistake and then forgive myself for it, rather than beat myself up over it.
Unfortunately, if what I've taught myself is to self-flagellate then when the pain of that gets to much I may seek others to be angry with. Yet if I can accept self-forgiveness, that makes room for the forgiveness that is already given by God to take root. And when forgiveness and mercy are the bedrock of our being, then we are able to extend it to others.
Blessings,
Ed
I am my own worst enemy. That would seem to be fairly obvious. When I look back on when things have not gone the way I would have liked, I can usually see where I've shot myself in the foot, or undermined my own best efforts. I'm never thrilled when I make that discovery, because it always seems to lead to a "why" question. And then the circle continues.
When I discover the answer to the "why" I then need to take the next step, which is to acknowledge the mistake and then forgive myself for it, rather than beat myself up over it.
Unfortunately, if what I've taught myself is to self-flagellate then when the pain of that gets to much I may seek others to be angry with. Yet if I can accept self-forgiveness, that makes room for the forgiveness that is already given by God to take root. And when forgiveness and mercy are the bedrock of our being, then we are able to extend it to others.
Blessings,
Ed
Friday, March 12, 2010
Reflections for 3/12/10
"We don't begin to know how much God wants us. Will we ever trust that desirous and desiring place within our own hearts, where God is a passionate God? In many ways the Western Church has been negative about our bodies, feelings, emotions. We've been afraid to discover, to trust that passionate part of God." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 125)
Most people of faith will say that they love God, and if a Christian they'll say they love Jesus, but often it feels more like loving an object. When we hear the word passion, it almost immediately turns into something bordering on a soap opera.
The comfort level with God seems to be around merciful and compassionate. Some like to focus on the judging side, especially when it's happening to other folk. But God as passionate? God as perhaps "lover?" Now we start to get a little squeamish. Which is somewhat ironic given the sex obsessed culture we live in, both glorifying and condemning.
And yet for me the image isn't that hard to take on. Passionate for me gives the notion of being willing to do anything for, at least with in reason. Unreasonable passion I think I'd call rabid. But the beauty of having a "lover" (I happen to be married to mine) is that it feels mutual. And because I'm able to accept that another person could actually love, want me to that extent, I can attribute that same acceptance to my relationship with God.
Maybe one way for us to reconcile the love-hate relationship that the church has with body, emotions and feelings, is to see how that relationship is revealed in God. By not ignoring the passionate side of God, but not making it the only part. Our relationship with God has the potential to be the best model for a healthy relationship. We just need to let go of our obsessions and phobias around it.
Blessings,
Ed
Most people of faith will say that they love God, and if a Christian they'll say they love Jesus, but often it feels more like loving an object. When we hear the word passion, it almost immediately turns into something bordering on a soap opera.
The comfort level with God seems to be around merciful and compassionate. Some like to focus on the judging side, especially when it's happening to other folk. But God as passionate? God as perhaps "lover?" Now we start to get a little squeamish. Which is somewhat ironic given the sex obsessed culture we live in, both glorifying and condemning.
And yet for me the image isn't that hard to take on. Passionate for me gives the notion of being willing to do anything for, at least with in reason. Unreasonable passion I think I'd call rabid. But the beauty of having a "lover" (I happen to be married to mine) is that it feels mutual. And because I'm able to accept that another person could actually love, want me to that extent, I can attribute that same acceptance to my relationship with God.
Maybe one way for us to reconcile the love-hate relationship that the church has with body, emotions and feelings, is to see how that relationship is revealed in God. By not ignoring the passionate side of God, but not making it the only part. Our relationship with God has the potential to be the best model for a healthy relationship. We just need to let go of our obsessions and phobias around it.
Blessings,
Ed
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Reflections for 3/11/2010
"We used to try to avoid distractions. But it's much better to use our distractions. If you're obsessed with a thought all afternoon, that's what you give to God. Lord, why am I so caught up in this fantasy? Why am I so caught up in this preoccupation ? Why am I so worried about this bill or this mortgage or whatever it might be? Make that the subject of your prayer instead of trying to avoid it and getting into some spiritual or theological world. That's the meaning of integrated, incarnational prayer." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 124)
I had lunch with a group of colleagues this week. And we were all talking about various subjects one of which was our recent Diocesan Convention. I was sharing my frustration at the focus on what is called the fair share asking (basically what individual churches give financially to support the ministry of the Diocese.) It takes a lot of my energy because the parish I lead cannot give what is asked, we're not alone in that by the way. Yet I feel some level of guilt about that. One colleague turned to me and asked "why do you care?" And I didn't have an answer to that question. Yet it was taking up an awful lot of room in the what to worry about department.
Fr. Rohr's suggestion that we take those aspects of our life that seem to border on unnecessary worry or obsession and hand it over to God in prayer. This is actually great advice. When I let go of the stuff, I can do nothing about it frees up a ton of space to think and do creatively the things that are truly important and that I can actually do something about. Who knows I might even find they are the things that will bring true joy and contentment with them.
So how do you know the difference between unnecessary preoccupation and real worries? It seems to me that the true test is how much of my time is spent on the issue. If it seems more than necessary and is not moving, that may be a sign of where it belongs on the list of things for Ed to worry about as compared to the things God really needs Ed to focus on. Which maybe why he often says, why don't you let me have that one.
Blessings,
Ed
I had lunch with a group of colleagues this week. And we were all talking about various subjects one of which was our recent Diocesan Convention. I was sharing my frustration at the focus on what is called the fair share asking (basically what individual churches give financially to support the ministry of the Diocese.) It takes a lot of my energy because the parish I lead cannot give what is asked, we're not alone in that by the way. Yet I feel some level of guilt about that. One colleague turned to me and asked "why do you care?" And I didn't have an answer to that question. Yet it was taking up an awful lot of room in the what to worry about department.
Fr. Rohr's suggestion that we take those aspects of our life that seem to border on unnecessary worry or obsession and hand it over to God in prayer. This is actually great advice. When I let go of the stuff, I can do nothing about it frees up a ton of space to think and do creatively the things that are truly important and that I can actually do something about. Who knows I might even find they are the things that will bring true joy and contentment with them.
So how do you know the difference between unnecessary preoccupation and real worries? It seems to me that the true test is how much of my time is spent on the issue. If it seems more than necessary and is not moving, that may be a sign of where it belongs on the list of things for Ed to worry about as compared to the things God really needs Ed to focus on. Which maybe why he often says, why don't you let me have that one.
Blessings,
Ed
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Reflections for 3/10/10
"The dialogue between God and humanity is the give-and-take of self-revelation and response. That's what's happening in every relationship. If you don't understand self-disclosure or the rules of relationship, you can't understand the rules of prayer." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 123)
One of the keys to a good relationship is one of proper balance in my opinion. One where both parties believe they are being given equal time. Our relationships with family or friends are most life giving when we feel listened to and then are freed up to listen to others as well. We won't stay in relationship with someone for too long if we feel that we're the only ones giving.
I think it is also true of our relationship with ourselves, if the inner dialogues that occur always feels like one aspect of our persona always wins, we may wind up making gaffes and sometimes huge mistakes.
And in our relationship with God, we certainly know how to let God, know what we want, or what's on our minds. The quest becomes to open the other direction of the relationship and hear what God might have to say to us.
Blessings,
Ed
One of the keys to a good relationship is one of proper balance in my opinion. One where both parties believe they are being given equal time. Our relationships with family or friends are most life giving when we feel listened to and then are freed up to listen to others as well. We won't stay in relationship with someone for too long if we feel that we're the only ones giving.
I think it is also true of our relationship with ourselves, if the inner dialogues that occur always feels like one aspect of our persona always wins, we may wind up making gaffes and sometimes huge mistakes.
And in our relationship with God, we certainly know how to let God, know what we want, or what's on our minds. The quest becomes to open the other direction of the relationship and hear what God might have to say to us.
Blessings,
Ed
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Reflections for 3/9/10
"Many of us think prayer is meditating on good, holy churchy thoughts, or preparing sermons, all up in the head. Why don't we, as sons and daughters, talk directly to our Father as if we know and believe he's there? To talk to God takes a childlike attitude. If we need always to be in control, we can't talk like a child to our mother." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p.122)
As I meditated on what prayer is for me, I begin with the reality that prayer begins for me in the context of the Book of Common Prayer, I am an Episcopalian/Anglican after all. I don't see the Prayer Book as a crutch but more as the foundation and the launching point. When I can't self start, it gives me the framework to begin. Sometimes I stay in that framework, but often it will nudge me into a more free flowing conversation with God.
I don't spend a lot of time in my "head." A good chunk of what I pray, what I write, and what I preach is more "gut" than "head."
Fr. Rohr's question about why we don't talk directly to God is a good one. I suppose it begins with a need to really trust that he is there. That can be hard when we don't get audible answers. It would be like having a parent not respond immediately when a child says "Mom!" or "Dad!" Of course most childlike conversations revolve around the question why? Or asking for permission, or asking for something? And like most children we don't really like being told no. This may be another reason that we don't talk to God like that, we're afraid that the answer may be no, so why bother asking.
Yet as adults we may still want to talk to God, not with childlike questions, but more in the mirroring of the parent/child relationship. I'm still the son, I'm not the adult friend. How I talk to my parents may have matured, or at least I hope it has. The trust in their love for me is the motivation for the conversation.
And that is why I still talk with God. There are still why questions for me? There still our needs that I have, there is still permission that I seek. Again I don't get an audible answer usually, but I have found that things become clearer about what is truly important to me, what I really need to do, and to come to some level of peace with the why question, because of that belief that God is there.
Blessings,
Ed
As I meditated on what prayer is for me, I begin with the reality that prayer begins for me in the context of the Book of Common Prayer, I am an Episcopalian/Anglican after all. I don't see the Prayer Book as a crutch but more as the foundation and the launching point. When I can't self start, it gives me the framework to begin. Sometimes I stay in that framework, but often it will nudge me into a more free flowing conversation with God.
I don't spend a lot of time in my "head." A good chunk of what I pray, what I write, and what I preach is more "gut" than "head."
Fr. Rohr's question about why we don't talk directly to God is a good one. I suppose it begins with a need to really trust that he is there. That can be hard when we don't get audible answers. It would be like having a parent not respond immediately when a child says "Mom!" or "Dad!" Of course most childlike conversations revolve around the question why? Or asking for permission, or asking for something? And like most children we don't really like being told no. This may be another reason that we don't talk to God like that, we're afraid that the answer may be no, so why bother asking.
Yet as adults we may still want to talk to God, not with childlike questions, but more in the mirroring of the parent/child relationship. I'm still the son, I'm not the adult friend. How I talk to my parents may have matured, or at least I hope it has. The trust in their love for me is the motivation for the conversation.
And that is why I still talk with God. There are still why questions for me? There still our needs that I have, there is still permission that I seek. Again I don't get an audible answer usually, but I have found that things become clearer about what is truly important to me, what I really need to do, and to come to some level of peace with the why question, because of that belief that God is there.
Blessings,
Ed
Monday, March 8, 2010
Reflections for 3/8/10
"People have different temperaments, rhythms and seasons. there isn't just one way to be in prayer, communion or relationship. There isn't just one way to be in a dialogue. Laity and clergy used to think we had to adjust to a monastic prayer style. We still have not recognized the rhythm of American society, or the rhythm we live as parents, workers and families...Respect your own temperament. Respect the rhythm of your life and know that it will change at different periods of your life."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p.121)
I am not one who subscribes to the one size fits all model of ministry. I believe that the wide varieties of piety are a direct result of the different temperaments etc. that Fr. Rohr writes about. Each chapter of my life, and sometimes those chapters seem to end sooner than I think, bring new rhythms for sure. How I lived as child, was very different than the teenager, who was able to change at college, who then went through rapid changes, to the change of being married, to the change of being in seminary, to the change of being a priest, to the change of having kids. Now those rhythms are tied in directly to the changes in my children's rhythms.
Every aspect of life has changed with those changes, including prayer. I will say that weekly communion has been the one consistent throughout.
One of the frustrating parts of trying to maintain or even start a prayer life is noticing and acknowledging how the day generally flows. Yes each day may bring a surprise or even a wrinkle, but for the most part, it is reasonably predictable, and that's how I find a way to get into that daily dialogue with God.
In a few years my rhythm will again change as my children graduate high school. The hope will be to adapt to that change in the parts of my life that are essential to my physical and spiritual health.
Blessings,
Ed
I am not one who subscribes to the one size fits all model of ministry. I believe that the wide varieties of piety are a direct result of the different temperaments etc. that Fr. Rohr writes about. Each chapter of my life, and sometimes those chapters seem to end sooner than I think, bring new rhythms for sure. How I lived as child, was very different than the teenager, who was able to change at college, who then went through rapid changes, to the change of being married, to the change of being in seminary, to the change of being a priest, to the change of having kids. Now those rhythms are tied in directly to the changes in my children's rhythms.
Every aspect of life has changed with those changes, including prayer. I will say that weekly communion has been the one consistent throughout.
One of the frustrating parts of trying to maintain or even start a prayer life is noticing and acknowledging how the day generally flows. Yes each day may bring a surprise or even a wrinkle, but for the most part, it is reasonably predictable, and that's how I find a way to get into that daily dialogue with God.
In a few years my rhythm will again change as my children graduate high school. The hope will be to adapt to that change in the parts of my life that are essential to my physical and spiritual health.
Blessings,
Ed
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Reflections for 3/7/10
"We are supposed to keep telling people they're good and beautiful; they're great and fantastic, Jesus loves them-and eventually they'll believe it. But I haven't seen that work. I think we know the love of God when we ourselves can "do love" much more than when people tell we are lovable. We can always disbelieve the second, but the first is an unexplainable power." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 120)
Doing love? What would that look like? The first thing that comes to my mind would be any kind of helping someone in need. Perhaps being an open ear to just listen. It may even be as simple as just showing up. Often our doing love seems to involve writing a check, but that allows me some distance from the person or cause, but I suppose it is a start.
How do I know when I'm doing love? I certainly like to do be helpful. I'm willing to get my hands dirty, and yet something seems to be missing.
The more I reflected on that, the clearer it became. There are more often than not motives behind my loving actions. And they are usually tied into wanting to be appreciated. But the truth is that is closer to having someone tell me that I'm loved, than it is to doing love. When I actually help in spite of it being perhaps the last thing I really want to do, when I literally just do it, then that is closer to the doing love that comes from the love of God being seen through me. There won't be a necessary that a boy, after it.
There are of course moments when we need to hear that we are loved, but if that is all that ever happens, we run the risk of it sounding like chicken little saying the sky is falling. Until something really happens within us, and calls us outside of ourselves to do things we didn't think we could do, or perhaps didn't think we'd want to do. Then we're living into the commandment to love.
Blessings,
Ed
Doing love? What would that look like? The first thing that comes to my mind would be any kind of helping someone in need. Perhaps being an open ear to just listen. It may even be as simple as just showing up. Often our doing love seems to involve writing a check, but that allows me some distance from the person or cause, but I suppose it is a start.
How do I know when I'm doing love? I certainly like to do be helpful. I'm willing to get my hands dirty, and yet something seems to be missing.
The more I reflected on that, the clearer it became. There are more often than not motives behind my loving actions. And they are usually tied into wanting to be appreciated. But the truth is that is closer to having someone tell me that I'm loved, than it is to doing love. When I actually help in spite of it being perhaps the last thing I really want to do, when I literally just do it, then that is closer to the doing love that comes from the love of God being seen through me. There won't be a necessary that a boy, after it.
There are of course moments when we need to hear that we are loved, but if that is all that ever happens, we run the risk of it sounding like chicken little saying the sky is falling. Until something really happens within us, and calls us outside of ourselves to do things we didn't think we could do, or perhaps didn't think we'd want to do. Then we're living into the commandment to love.
Blessings,
Ed
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Reflections for 3/6/10
"In solitude at last we're able to let the Lord define us the way we are always supposed to be defined: by relationship, the I-thou relationship, in relationship to a Presences that demands nothing of us but presence. If we've never lived in the realm of pure presence, without our world of achieving, we don't know how to breath there at first. And that is precisely why the Lord has to breath through us. The Lord has to be our life, the Lord has to be our identity. At last we allow ourselves be defined relationship, instead of by the good-even the holy-things we've done." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 119)
I will sometimes ask people which "hat" I should be wearing when they say, I have a question to ask. I have to think from which of my roles, titles etc. am I answering them. One would think all those roles should be a unified Ed, but they aren't yet. But after a while with so many "hats" I lose track of the authentic Ed.
And maybe that's what some time in solitude might do. First I'd have to convince myself to let go of the excuses I come with as to why not go on retreat, be by myself alone in my thoughts and prayers and see what that I-thou relationship really looks like. I know that I would have a hard time as Fr. Rohr said breathing in that space. As an extrovert and a Type 2 personality on the Enneagram (the Helper), the first moments there would be the hardest, nobody needing me, calling me, defining me etc. And probably the most fearful because I'd have to actually confront and be confronted by the real me. And yet the real me, when brought to the surface, when reminded by my time in the presence of God alone, might find the way to truly integrate those other aspects of Ed and thereby creating a stronger more mature in faith and life Ed. One that could be truly helpful.
Blessings,
Ed
I will sometimes ask people which "hat" I should be wearing when they say, I have a question to ask. I have to think from which of my roles, titles etc. am I answering them. One would think all those roles should be a unified Ed, but they aren't yet. But after a while with so many "hats" I lose track of the authentic Ed.
And maybe that's what some time in solitude might do. First I'd have to convince myself to let go of the excuses I come with as to why not go on retreat, be by myself alone in my thoughts and prayers and see what that I-thou relationship really looks like. I know that I would have a hard time as Fr. Rohr said breathing in that space. As an extrovert and a Type 2 personality on the Enneagram (the Helper), the first moments there would be the hardest, nobody needing me, calling me, defining me etc. And probably the most fearful because I'd have to actually confront and be confronted by the real me. And yet the real me, when brought to the surface, when reminded by my time in the presence of God alone, might find the way to truly integrate those other aspects of Ed and thereby creating a stronger more mature in faith and life Ed. One that could be truly helpful.
Blessings,
Ed
Friday, March 5, 2010
Reflections for 3/5/10
"A man shocked me one day when he said, 'You Christians don't love Christ. You hate Christ. You hate what he stands for.' He continued, 'You cover up your own hatred and fear of Christ by talking about how much you love Jesus. But if you love Jesus, why don't you love your enemies? If you love Jesus, why don't you really obey the gospel, most of which you ignore.'"(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" pp. 117-118)
As harsh as that quote seems it is a valid point. Most of us do ignore a good chunk of the bible, especially the parts that actually cast a critical eye on us. Make know mistake we love the parts that nail other people, but please spare me anything that would point out where I fall short.
I've experienced this personally while arguing with a very sincere person who couldn't understand how I'd come to such a radically different point of view on one of the "hot button" topics confronting the church. I had missed "the clear meaning of scripture." When it was my turn to respond, I asked a question, had this person "sold all their possessions and given them to the poor yet?" And the dance around the issue was interesting to hear. So much for the "clear meaning of scripture."
My sense is that most of us who call ourselves Christian do not hate Christ. We most likely fear the demands that the gospel tries to compel us to. And while we surely cannot pick and choose which pieces of scripture we're going to listen to and which we aren't, that is exactly what 99% of us do. Perhaps this is what the bible is trying to tell us. Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. Remember that you are looking through a glass dimly. You can only see the promised land from a distance. You will have to walk through the valley of the shadow of death, but God will be with you.
But each day I'm called to attempt with the God's help to live my life as closely to the faith I profess. And if I fall short, to wake up and try again the next day.
Blessings,
Ed
As harsh as that quote seems it is a valid point. Most of us do ignore a good chunk of the bible, especially the parts that actually cast a critical eye on us. Make know mistake we love the parts that nail other people, but please spare me anything that would point out where I fall short.
I've experienced this personally while arguing with a very sincere person who couldn't understand how I'd come to such a radically different point of view on one of the "hot button" topics confronting the church. I had missed "the clear meaning of scripture." When it was my turn to respond, I asked a question, had this person "sold all their possessions and given them to the poor yet?" And the dance around the issue was interesting to hear. So much for the "clear meaning of scripture."
My sense is that most of us who call ourselves Christian do not hate Christ. We most likely fear the demands that the gospel tries to compel us to. And while we surely cannot pick and choose which pieces of scripture we're going to listen to and which we aren't, that is exactly what 99% of us do. Perhaps this is what the bible is trying to tell us. Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. Remember that you are looking through a glass dimly. You can only see the promised land from a distance. You will have to walk through the valley of the shadow of death, but God will be with you.
But each day I'm called to attempt with the God's help to live my life as closely to the faith I profess. And if I fall short, to wake up and try again the next day.
Blessings,
Ed
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Reflections for 3/4/10
"Conversion, the movement toward the Lord, is a process of disenchantment with the ego, recognizing how truly afraid and poor it is. The only way people can ever be freed from their fears is to be freed from themselves. There is almost a complete correlation between the amount of fear in our lives and the amount of attachment we have to ourselves. The person who is beyond fear has given up the need to control or possess. that one says, I am who I am in God's eyes-nothing more, nothing less. I don't need to impress you because I am who I am, and not who you think I am-or who I think I am." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 117)
Fear walking hand in hand with love of self. I suppose that makes sense when I think about it. If I have convinced myself or have over inflated because of unmerited praise by others, I will probably want to protect that beautiful facade. And when I'm protecting something it is because I am afraid of losing it, or having it be exposed.
I know it is hard to just accept who I am. Mainly because I'm not actually sure of who I am. I know a lot of the pieces, but do not see the whole picture yet. I have yet to figure out who the real Ed is based on all the different parts that show themselves in short bursts.
A good chunk of this could be brought together in two ways. First accept as true St. Paul's line "by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not in vain." And the belief that God loves me in that way, and that love is perfect. And perfect love casts out fear.
The funny thing is I'm not actually afraid in the same way the world is. I don't see the bogeyman behind every corner. I don't view everyone who is not a white straight liberal Christian male, as a threat to my humanity. And yet I do know what my one fear is, and I do know that it too has a direct correlation to my ego. My fear, that I actually don't matter.
And if I can get past that fear, I may be a truly live into my ongoing conversion.
Blessings,
Ed
Fear walking hand in hand with love of self. I suppose that makes sense when I think about it. If I have convinced myself or have over inflated because of unmerited praise by others, I will probably want to protect that beautiful facade. And when I'm protecting something it is because I am afraid of losing it, or having it be exposed.
I know it is hard to just accept who I am. Mainly because I'm not actually sure of who I am. I know a lot of the pieces, but do not see the whole picture yet. I have yet to figure out who the real Ed is based on all the different parts that show themselves in short bursts.
A good chunk of this could be brought together in two ways. First accept as true St. Paul's line "by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not in vain." And the belief that God loves me in that way, and that love is perfect. And perfect love casts out fear.
The funny thing is I'm not actually afraid in the same way the world is. I don't see the bogeyman behind every corner. I don't view everyone who is not a white straight liberal Christian male, as a threat to my humanity. And yet I do know what my one fear is, and I do know that it too has a direct correlation to my ego. My fear, that I actually don't matter.
And if I can get past that fear, I may be a truly live into my ongoing conversion.
Blessings,
Ed
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Reflections for 3/3/10
"God needed to keep one part of his world 'back to basics' it seems. And here it is: spirituality, family, sex, food, celebrating without occasion, life and death unashamedly." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 116)
Fr. Rohr wrote this while touring Africa and he was speaking specifically about somewhere in East Africa, though he doesn't say where. My hunch is it is probably in the bush somewhere, not downtown Nairobi.
He is of course viewing their world through the lenses of our overly complicated and stressed out world view. And at that moment could see a sort of "Eden." A simpler life compared to ours and in some ways, and probably important ones, a better one.
We'll talk about getting back to basics, taking stock in what we believe is essential to life, usually when things have gone wrong or we get overwhelmed by an emptiness. I look at his list and wonder whether these are part of my "basics." I certainly see myself as spiritual, I long for and sense God's presence in my life, and enjoy my conversations with God (prayer time). My family is my most basic unit of support and meaning, two of my roles, husband and dad are lived out there. I believe sex is a basic part of life. Life doesn't exist without it, biologically speaking and in the proper context is an appropriate expression of mutual love. Food is of course right up there with shelter as a basic need, and Lord knows I love food. Celebrating without occasion, now that would be a great basic to have again. To view life as worth living, to see every moment as a reason for thanksgiving, sure beats the opposite. Life and death unashamedly, for me this would stem from the previous statement, and also living in such a way that you never have to hang your head and finally dying with dignity and not being afraid of death.
What are your "basics," what could you truly not live without? And is today a good day to get back to basics?
Blessings,
Ed
Fr. Rohr wrote this while touring Africa and he was speaking specifically about somewhere in East Africa, though he doesn't say where. My hunch is it is probably in the bush somewhere, not downtown Nairobi.
He is of course viewing their world through the lenses of our overly complicated and stressed out world view. And at that moment could see a sort of "Eden." A simpler life compared to ours and in some ways, and probably important ones, a better one.
We'll talk about getting back to basics, taking stock in what we believe is essential to life, usually when things have gone wrong or we get overwhelmed by an emptiness. I look at his list and wonder whether these are part of my "basics." I certainly see myself as spiritual, I long for and sense God's presence in my life, and enjoy my conversations with God (prayer time). My family is my most basic unit of support and meaning, two of my roles, husband and dad are lived out there. I believe sex is a basic part of life. Life doesn't exist without it, biologically speaking and in the proper context is an appropriate expression of mutual love. Food is of course right up there with shelter as a basic need, and Lord knows I love food. Celebrating without occasion, now that would be a great basic to have again. To view life as worth living, to see every moment as a reason for thanksgiving, sure beats the opposite. Life and death unashamedly, for me this would stem from the previous statement, and also living in such a way that you never have to hang your head and finally dying with dignity and not being afraid of death.
What are your "basics," what could you truly not live without? And is today a good day to get back to basics?
Blessings,
Ed
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Reflections for 3/2/10
"It may be the last thing to occur to you, but even the desire to be a saint, to be the holiest or most generous person in your parish, the most observant priest-whatever-all of that is ego. It's not the love of God, it's the love of self." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 115)
One of the more interesting things I've noticed about clergy, is that we often like to talk about how busy we are. We're constantly creating programs, running to and fro. Leading prayers, offering advice. And if we're not doing those things, we'll sure talk about it, because to not be doing that, might make us look bad. Rohr is right it is about the ego.
When I look at my shadow side, the please notice me part, that's what seems to be in control of my actions often. Longing for affirmation, or feedback of any kind, I just keep going. And because it is ego driven, I'm often disappointed.
That is not to say that I shouldn't be striving to be holy, to try my best to serve God in the service of others, to be generous, or to be the best priest that I can. What needs to be looked at is the motivation behind that striving. When I have the order right, it flows from my love for God because he first loved me.
Blessings,
Ed
One of the more interesting things I've noticed about clergy, is that we often like to talk about how busy we are. We're constantly creating programs, running to and fro. Leading prayers, offering advice. And if we're not doing those things, we'll sure talk about it, because to not be doing that, might make us look bad. Rohr is right it is about the ego.
When I look at my shadow side, the please notice me part, that's what seems to be in control of my actions often. Longing for affirmation, or feedback of any kind, I just keep going. And because it is ego driven, I'm often disappointed.
That is not to say that I shouldn't be striving to be holy, to try my best to serve God in the service of others, to be generous, or to be the best priest that I can. What needs to be looked at is the motivation behind that striving. When I have the order right, it flows from my love for God because he first loved me.
Blessings,
Ed
Monday, March 1, 2010
Reflections for 3/1/10
"Remember the bumper sticker 'I found it'? The Holy One becomes 'it,' a pronoun, a thing. Even the Lord becomes a consumer object that I can privately possess. Now that is surely heresy in any religion." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 114)
All I need to do to know whether I'm a willing participant in the consumerist and materialist culture that rules our world, is to walk around my own house. There are countless examples, usually lying in piles of things that I thought I needed, could possess and then ultimately got bored with fast, and could easily discard when they no longer interested me or where useful.
The throw away culture is a by product of the materialist culture. There does seem to be very little in life that is not affected by this mind set. Even religion gets infected by it. Faith communities even small ones have adopted business models. We have mission statement, we use media to advertise our existence. You can buy things to let people know who your god is. Of course the flip side of that faith, is that you can discard it when it no longer works.
The challenge for me is to stop trying to tell God how its going to work. A little more time listening to what God wants me to understand would be a great first step. To hear instead of the idea that I chose God, but instead that God chose me. And that I won't be thrown out as soon as I become useless.
Blessings,
Ed
All I need to do to know whether I'm a willing participant in the consumerist and materialist culture that rules our world, is to walk around my own house. There are countless examples, usually lying in piles of things that I thought I needed, could possess and then ultimately got bored with fast, and could easily discard when they no longer interested me or where useful.
The throw away culture is a by product of the materialist culture. There does seem to be very little in life that is not affected by this mind set. Even religion gets infected by it. Faith communities even small ones have adopted business models. We have mission statement, we use media to advertise our existence. You can buy things to let people know who your god is. Of course the flip side of that faith, is that you can discard it when it no longer works.
The challenge for me is to stop trying to tell God how its going to work. A little more time listening to what God wants me to understand would be a great first step. To hear instead of the idea that I chose God, but instead that God chose me. And that I won't be thrown out as soon as I become useless.
Blessings,
Ed
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