"God revealed to me that I was loved exactly as I was. There was nothing to attain...And I knew that I didn't have to apologize for my humanity. I didn't have to apologize for who I was. I didn't have to prove myself...I was a child of god. And I could go on my way rejoicing. I could go on my way lifting up my heart to the Lord knowing that I was going to fail. But somehow it didn't matter anymore. I was loved and that alone mattered. It was my baptism in the Spirit." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" pp.136-137)
I grew up with the theology that God loves me warts and all. And in some ways that is a liberating statement. At a minimum it frees me from self-loathing and always trying to prove myself.
Having said that, I wouldn't want to just stay in that place, especially if there are things about me that need to change. The will to change comes from the knowledge that I am loved. That knowledge invites me to risk failing or no longer being trapped by the less than desirable aspects of myself.
That love is the foundation to build my life upon, it is not the reward for building the perfect life. That love is the fuel that drives the desire to live a truly worthwhile life. It is not the reward for doing all the right things.
God's love is not reward based, that's the world's love. God's love makes me want to change when things need to change. The world's love says change and then we'll see.
Blessings,
Ed
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