"It may be the last thing to occur to you, but even the desire to be a saint, to be the holiest or most generous person in your parish, the most observant priest-whatever-all of that is ego. It's not the love of God, it's the love of self." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 115)
One of the more interesting things I've noticed about clergy, is that we often like to talk about how busy we are. We're constantly creating programs, running to and fro. Leading prayers, offering advice. And if we're not doing those things, we'll sure talk about it, because to not be doing that, might make us look bad. Rohr is right it is about the ego.
When I look at my shadow side, the please notice me part, that's what seems to be in control of my actions often. Longing for affirmation, or feedback of any kind, I just keep going. And because it is ego driven, I'm often disappointed.
That is not to say that I shouldn't be striving to be holy, to try my best to serve God in the service of others, to be generous, or to be the best priest that I can. What needs to be looked at is the motivation behind that striving. When I have the order right, it flows from my love for God because he first loved me.
Blessings,
Ed
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment