Reflections for 7/18/10

"There is a given-ness to God. God is not withheld; God is the one who is handed over. That's what we mean when we say that God is love. But it's not like our love. When we love, we wait and we see something good out there. If it's attractive enough, if it's good enough, we give ourselves to it. God simply gives. We find that kind of love very hard to understand because we're not able to love that way."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 252)

Most people I know at some point or another have fallen in love. Whether that be with a spouse or partner, job, some activity, something or someone that brings them joy. When that happens we become incredibly enthusiastic, giving are all to it. The problem is that occasionally the initial wow wears off and then you have to ask do I really love this person or this whatever it may be.

I think it would be hard to love the way that God loves. It's pretty much hard to do anything the way God does really. And yet that's the call. To throw ourselves into each day from a loving perspective. Not one where we constantly ask what's in it for me. Called to give of ourselves to whatever situation we find ourselves in. Again incredibly hard and I find usually not all that successful. There are just as many times that I'll do something out of duty rather than love, and I there is definitely a difference.

I am thankful that God doesn't operate like that. That God can look at us in all our sometimes ugly and undeserving ways and yet still love us. With nothing in it for God, except to be who God is.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflections for 7/17/10

"Salvation comes from the word salus, which means healing. It is not dependent on feeling or any person's response to me. It is not a theory believed, a theology proclaimed or a group that gives one identity. It is an inner clarity that forever allows one to recognize bogus authority and pseudo-surrender. This salvation cannot be acquired by a simple process of self-examination or new insight or ego possession. It is a gift received when the will has given up control and we are standing in that threshold place which allows us to see anew. Suffering, failure, rejection and loss can lead to this same threshold."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 251)

Occasionally I'll hear an ad that claims something is free. And then under the person's breath somewhat you hear just pay shipping and handling. At that point of course it is no longer free. Sometimes the string attached is a return after a certain date, again that is not free.

But the word free is very tempting. I know people that will say "if it's free it's for me." Okay I get that, sort of. But what about salvation. We are told in Isaiah that salvation is freely offered. God wants you and me to have it. All I have to do is accept it.

I'll have to admit that every time I've ever been asked if I've been saved, I usually wait to hear the equivalent of just pay shipping and handling. Am I saved? I believe I am. I don't feel it. I just know it. I don't worry about whether someone else thinks I am, they're not the one that gets to decide.

I like that inner clarity idea. I can usually spot the bogus and the pseudo. Someone who talks a good game, but walks somewhat lame. That having things go wrong is a way to experience salvation is true. I haven't hit rock bottom, and hope I never do. But those times when I've been disappointed or hurt, the fact that I've not been utterly destroyed is an example of the salvation I've accepted and claimed as my own.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflections for 7/16/10

"Call it grace, enlightenment, peak experience, baptism in the Spirit, revelation, consciousness, growth or surrender, but until such a threshold is walked through, people are never helped in any true lasting sense."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 250)

My vocation falls into the category of "helping profession." As a pastor, I'm supposed to offer some level of counseling and to be someone who can point people in the right direction. I don't have any advanced degrees in counseling, so I'm more like a first responder, who hopefully knows where to send the person next to get the next level of care.

Of course as a religious leader one direction I do point to is prayer, that conversation with God. I can't make anyone believe anything. And this is true no matter what one's faith tradition is. I also cannot do the work for others. I can show the threshold, I can't make anyone but me cross it. After that choice is made I'm out of the picture, and that's probably a good thing.

People may tell me how much I helped them. But much like a guide on a tour, only what they truly notice is what lasts.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflections for 7/15/10

"Obedience means listening. Don't be afraid to be silent and alone, to guard the quality of your speech, to write a spiritual journal. Watch your judgments and your cynicisms. Keep a childlike, simple heart. The wonder of children is they see new things and beautiful things and take them in. The Lord wants you to take as much in as you can, but to take it in a way that it's going to be there a year from now, not just for the moment."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 249)

There are many experiences in my lifetime that have left a lasting impression. Certainly not every moment, but a lot of things. I'm sometimes surprised by what I remember. I don't know that I'm deeper than anyone else, but I do remember people and places and events. I'm not so good with exact dates.

Perhaps I'm not as into quick thrills as I am larger experiences. I love that I've seen so much of this country. There are certainly teachers throughout my life that I still remember their names, and yet there are some who left little to no impression on me.

I'm sure I haven't even come close to experiencing everything that God has in store for me. I hopefully haven't missed too much that was intended for me, but was to distracted to notice.

I find it enjoyable to reflect on the people, places and things in my past. I also love the anticipation that each new day has the potential to show me something I've never seen before.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflections for 7/14/10

"We are forced to ask the question after the blessing with the sick, after the dipping in the water, Well, why aren't they healed? And if you and I are asking that, imagine how they are asking that. And yet, can you believe the joy, although it must be tinged with disappointment, that we see on so many of their faces? The miracle of Lourdes is a miracle of faith. It's a miracle that is not immediately visible: People are not always healed. And yet we have to believe something deeply life-giving is happening here, and that's God's work. God is creating life on earth Just hold on to that. It happens in a thousand different ways, and the most important ways are in the heart."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 248)

Why wasn't my prayer answered? Why do seemingly miraculous things occur for some and not others? Those are some of the hardest questions that a priest or really any person of faith gets asked. They come not only from people who have little to know faith, but even from those who have great faith. Disappointment is very hard to deal with.

I know that there are times when we want a quick answer to those questions and usually they turn out to be the worst kind. You didn't pray hard enough. Your faith is weak. God sometimes says no. I try to avoid those little pithy, dismissive answers and try to look harder for what might not be obvious.

Those are the thousand different ways. I sometimes get prayer answered in ways that I don't expect. When it is only my vision of how things should play out that disappointment often follows. When I get past that, then I usually discover the answer that was given. The gift, the healing etc. When I finally see that I'm rarely disappointed.

That doesn't mean that I won't pray for specific things for myself or others. But that the follow up will be more of listening for or seeing the surprise, that is often more obvious than I realize at the time.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflections for 7/13/10

"A pilgrim must be a child who can approach everything with an attitude of wonder, awe and faith. Pray for wonder, awe, desire. Ask God to take away your sophistication and cynicism. Ask God to away the restless, anxious heart of the tourist, which always needs to find the new, the more, the curious. Recognize yourself as a pilgrim, as one who has already been found by God."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 247)

A literal pilgrimage would need to suspend disbelief I think. I've never been on a pilgrimage but my sense is that in order to fully appreciate "holy" spaces, one has to let go of the need for proof.

Now what if I were to approach all of life as a pilgrimage? That would take real courage. To approach each day, each moment with that attitude of wonder, awe and faith. I understand fully what he means by the anxious heart of the tourist. Worrying about what's next. Planning everything out, and always feeling tired. Maybe I spend too much time living life like a tourist, moving on quickly to the next experience without taking the time to fully appreciate all that the current one has to offer.

A tourist may see many things, or at least what the tour guide wants you to see. A pilgrim will experience things more deeply and see what God wants us to see.

I think I'll try a little more living life as pilgrimage rather than Trafalgar tour.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflections for 7/11/10

"As long as we think happiness is around the corner, we have not grasped happiness. Happiness is given in this moment. Everything is right here, right now, the total mystery of Christ; totally hidden and yet perfectly revealed. Though pilgrimages are good for the spirit, if you can't find Jesus in your hometown, you probably aren't going to find him in Jerusalem. If you haven't already entered into a relationship with Mary before, you probably won't find her at Lourdes. E go on pilgrimage so we can go back home and know that we never need to go on pilgrimage again. Pilgrimage has achieved its purpose when we can see God in our everyday and ordinary lives."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace p. 246)

I've never been on an actual pilgrimage. I suppose there will come a time when I will. I do like to travel and enjoyed my vacation very much. The best part though was still coming home. Yesterday being back at my parish felt good and right. Time away gave me a great appreciation for what I have here.

One of the traps I set for myself is to dream the what if dream. Is there something better out there. It's a little like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, thinking about somewhere over the rainbow, and in the end clicking her heels together saying "there's no place like home."

I am sure that there are moments when we truly perceive the presence of God more powerfully than in the day to day. The key for me is to continually sense the presence of God, in the mundane and ordinary day to day stuff. And while there's nothing wrong with an occasional day dream, it's even more satisfying to fully enjoy the here and now.

Blessings,
Ed