"Worship means lifting our hands to a God who seems totally beyond us. Modern humanity has lost the call to worship because its a blow to our pride and sophistication to worship a God who is utter otherness. So instead of adoring God, much worship becomes an attempt to control or influence God." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p.113)
This morning is the busy day at church. Hopefully many people will come to be fed spiritually by word and sacrament. Hopefully they've also come to worship. To pray to God who is both transcendent and immanent at the same time. While the church that I lead is not one where hands go up in the air during worship, there are of course places where that is the norm. That is how they express their worship of God.
When I think of the worship that has fed me and brought me closer to God, there has always been a sense of irreverent reverence. I do appreciate worship done well. But that is not always mean highly choreographed, whether that be high church Anglican, or non-denominational ready for TV worship. Both have their pluses and minuses for me and do speak to the comfort level of others.
What I do understand is that worship is not about controlling God or influencing how God feels about me. I already believe God is pleased with and loves me. Worship then is about how I respond to that fact. I get a chuckle when I hear prayers that tell God, who God is and what God should do. Or when worship becomes so fussy or so more about being entertained that it forgets the primary purpose.
Ultimately we all need to find a way to worship. A way that opens us to experience God in our midst. That takes us beyond ourselves for a moment, and invites us to use all or our senses to comprehend and believe in a God, who keeps urging us on.
Blessings,
Ed
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Reflections for 2/27/10
"We must somehow be a Church growing in resistance. Faith and resistance must be reconnected in our hearts and in our corporate decisions. Otherwise we are always drawn into passing fads and cultural biases." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 112)
Some of the brightest moments in church history is when the church has gotten itself involved in changing for the better the world in which it finds itself. Most of the great movements in our country's history have been led by religious folks. The great leaders of the civil rights movement were all of course people of faith. Throughout the world people of faith are often the one's calling dictators to task and toppling oppressive systems.
Of course there are also less shining moments when people of faith have been used and allowed themselves to be used to oppress others. When they've wedded themselves to the government rather than being the conscience. Usually this happens out of fear and self preservation.
In our own day and place it seems that faith communities have bought into the current climate of division. Both conservative and liberal causes have their supporters in faith communities. Each one believing they are being the voice of resistance to the current cultural fads and biases. And both failing to realize that each has something to offer in resistance to those cultural biases. Or even better would be to put a time out on the those issues each seems to believe are matters of life and death and put a unified front against the things that actually are. I'm not sure I have much hope for that because that would mean having to admit the other might have some level of truth to offer.
Maybe the first step to reconnecting resistance to faith, would be to resist needing to feel right all the time and resisting the urge to demonize those I disagree with.
Blessings,
Ed
Some of the brightest moments in church history is when the church has gotten itself involved in changing for the better the world in which it finds itself. Most of the great movements in our country's history have been led by religious folks. The great leaders of the civil rights movement were all of course people of faith. Throughout the world people of faith are often the one's calling dictators to task and toppling oppressive systems.
Of course there are also less shining moments when people of faith have been used and allowed themselves to be used to oppress others. When they've wedded themselves to the government rather than being the conscience. Usually this happens out of fear and self preservation.
In our own day and place it seems that faith communities have bought into the current climate of division. Both conservative and liberal causes have their supporters in faith communities. Each one believing they are being the voice of resistance to the current cultural fads and biases. And both failing to realize that each has something to offer in resistance to those cultural biases. Or even better would be to put a time out on the those issues each seems to believe are matters of life and death and put a unified front against the things that actually are. I'm not sure I have much hope for that because that would mean having to admit the other might have some level of truth to offer.
Maybe the first step to reconnecting resistance to faith, would be to resist needing to feel right all the time and resisting the urge to demonize those I disagree with.
Blessings,
Ed
Friday, February 26, 2010
Reflections for 2/26/10
"The sense of personhood that comes from truthfulness is immense. It's the sacred no, the ability to say no to the false self. That gives one a sense of having boundaries, of knowing what is part of oneself and what isn't. Until a person can do that there is an endless amorphous kind of personality without dignity or self-respect. Good morality provides good boundaries and good identity." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" pp. 11-112)
If you remember the game show "To Tell the Truth", you'll recall that at the end of the game. The host would say to the those who were trying to full the panel of celebrities, "will the real John/Jane Smith, please stand up."
I think there comes a time when the real us, needs to come forward. We spend a lot of emotional trying to be something we are not, or living into the pigeonhole that others put us into. Yet when that time comes when we finally can look ourselves in the mirror and say, there's the real me what a freedom. A clearer sense of boundaries emerges and we have allow the part of the image of God that we truly represent to be seen.
When we've got the right perspective on what is good and what is not good for us, choices become much easier. And our identity can be much more about the things we choose to do because they are healthy or choose not to do because it isn't who we are, because the real us through God's grace has taken control of us.
Blessings,
Ed
If you remember the game show "To Tell the Truth", you'll recall that at the end of the game. The host would say to the those who were trying to full the panel of celebrities, "will the real John/Jane Smith, please stand up."
I think there comes a time when the real us, needs to come forward. We spend a lot of emotional trying to be something we are not, or living into the pigeonhole that others put us into. Yet when that time comes when we finally can look ourselves in the mirror and say, there's the real me what a freedom. A clearer sense of boundaries emerges and we have allow the part of the image of God that we truly represent to be seen.
When we've got the right perspective on what is good and what is not good for us, choices become much easier. And our identity can be much more about the things we choose to do because they are healthy or choose not to do because it isn't who we are, because the real us through God's grace has taken control of us.
Blessings,
Ed
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Reflections for 2/25/10
"Church people set out to be nice people. Yet in our moments of honesty. we know much of our soul is not of God. We have negative, destructive, even violent and vengeful thoughts toward other people." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 110)
I've been told that I'm a nice guy. I suppose its true, at least some of the time. I certainly don't make it a habit of being mean or vindictive. Though as a human being there are always going to be folk that I encounter for whom it is a real struggle not to think negatively about them. What I have found though is that the longer I dwell on the negative feelings towards someone, the more negative other aspects of my life become. And it is at that point that I have learned to let it go before its too late.
And while I certainly try hard to not be negative towards people I've actually met and have to deal with on a daily basis, our culture is one that makes it hard to not get sucked into the negativity. There are more personal attacks on the web, talk media, that I begin to wonder if anyone is really happy. We have become quite a bipolar sort of society. There is no room anymore for gray. Whether its Barack Obama or Glenn Beck people seem to have strong feelings about these two and there are thousands of other examples as well.
My sense is that most people are more, to quote Shrek, "layered." But for whatever reason it seems easier to choose an extreme thought about a person and guard that opinion ferociously.
And maybe the real problem isn't so much other people. Maybe the hardest person to really be nice to, is oneself.
Blessings,
Ed
I've been told that I'm a nice guy. I suppose its true, at least some of the time. I certainly don't make it a habit of being mean or vindictive. Though as a human being there are always going to be folk that I encounter for whom it is a real struggle not to think negatively about them. What I have found though is that the longer I dwell on the negative feelings towards someone, the more negative other aspects of my life become. And it is at that point that I have learned to let it go before its too late.
And while I certainly try hard to not be negative towards people I've actually met and have to deal with on a daily basis, our culture is one that makes it hard to not get sucked into the negativity. There are more personal attacks on the web, talk media, that I begin to wonder if anyone is really happy. We have become quite a bipolar sort of society. There is no room anymore for gray. Whether its Barack Obama or Glenn Beck people seem to have strong feelings about these two and there are thousands of other examples as well.
My sense is that most people are more, to quote Shrek, "layered." But for whatever reason it seems easier to choose an extreme thought about a person and guard that opinion ferociously.
And maybe the real problem isn't so much other people. Maybe the hardest person to really be nice to, is oneself.
Blessings,
Ed
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Reflections for 2/24/10
"The classic sources of evil are the world, the flesh and the devil-in that order! We became preoccupied with guilt. We had to know who was bad, who should feel shame. Many people were made to feel bad as children. The Church and the world have both used shame to control the people. It usually works, and it emphasizes the flesh (personal fault) instead of a social critique of the world." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 109)
What stops anyone from doing something wrong? One would hope that its a strong moral foundation which has equipped an individual to know the difference and to choose the right course. I wonder though if what stops most people from following their more base instincts, is a fear of being caught and the embarrassment that will follow?
As a society we have a love/hate relationship with fleshy sins. While we may utter a tsk, tsk, tsk when we hear of someones indiscretions, we also love tabloids, whether print or television. We've gotten very hung up on sexual stuff. The moralizing happens simultaneously with the fascination of it. What I find myself doing when someone does a little too much moralizing is to wonder when we'll find out what they've been up to and are trying to hide.
We don't hear much about the "devil" these days. And that may be because that personification of evil only works in movies these days. Except when we criticize political leaders from the "other" party, no matter which party it is.
But what about the sins of the world? Occasionally you'll hear some voices rumbling about the sin of racism, or the exploitation of the poor for example. And attempts will be made to address these more systemic issues, but they become so large and seemingly so hard to address, that there is often a retreat back to worrying about who's zooming whom. Faith communities have lost the notion of "taking away the sins of the world" in its much larger connotation and focused solely on taking away my sins. That's not to say that Jesus, doesn't take away personal sin, but there's bigger issues in the world than just me.
Perhaps one idea might be to take the time, while looking at my "fleshy" sins, to also take a look at how I participate and support those much larger sins. If one less person supports those types of evil and maybe even begins to voice some real objections, we might find that some of the other aspects of life that need improving might happen as well.
Blessings,
Ed
What stops anyone from doing something wrong? One would hope that its a strong moral foundation which has equipped an individual to know the difference and to choose the right course. I wonder though if what stops most people from following their more base instincts, is a fear of being caught and the embarrassment that will follow?
As a society we have a love/hate relationship with fleshy sins. While we may utter a tsk, tsk, tsk when we hear of someones indiscretions, we also love tabloids, whether print or television. We've gotten very hung up on sexual stuff. The moralizing happens simultaneously with the fascination of it. What I find myself doing when someone does a little too much moralizing is to wonder when we'll find out what they've been up to and are trying to hide.
We don't hear much about the "devil" these days. And that may be because that personification of evil only works in movies these days. Except when we criticize political leaders from the "other" party, no matter which party it is.
But what about the sins of the world? Occasionally you'll hear some voices rumbling about the sin of racism, or the exploitation of the poor for example. And attempts will be made to address these more systemic issues, but they become so large and seemingly so hard to address, that there is often a retreat back to worrying about who's zooming whom. Faith communities have lost the notion of "taking away the sins of the world" in its much larger connotation and focused solely on taking away my sins. That's not to say that Jesus, doesn't take away personal sin, but there's bigger issues in the world than just me.
Perhaps one idea might be to take the time, while looking at my "fleshy" sins, to also take a look at how I participate and support those much larger sins. If one less person supports those types of evil and maybe even begins to voice some real objections, we might find that some of the other aspects of life that need improving might happen as well.
Blessings,
Ed
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Reflections for 2/23/10
"To our world God says: Do not put your trust in gods that cannot save-your looks, intelligence, money, your home. Do not put your trust in your children, wife, husband, your high position. They cannot save you. what is your money going to do for you? God is security, the rock of our salvation. No one has trusted in God and ever been put to shame." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 109)
Trust is something that is essential for any relationship to work. If I don't trust my spouse, I will constantly be looking for them mess up, ultimately leading to my own self doubt as to what am I doing or not doing that makes them act that way. That of course is a false question because they are responsible for their own actions, but I'm responsible for my reaction. It is important to trust our children, if we don't, they will never learn how to make choices and how live independently of us. It is important to trust your employment. If you don't you'll always be looking over your shoulder wondering if the axe is going to fall or which of your colleagues is out to usurp you.
And of course all those material goods are also needed but not really trustworthy. The economics of the last several years has certainly shown that.
When I put my trust in God, those other parts of me, my relationships and material things are given their proper place. God knows they are important and in some cases needed. And I find I usually have what I need to be whole.
When I'm not trusting in God, when I put my trust in systems that's when things start to unravel. And much like the love God, love neighbor love self trilogy, there also so flows this parallel stream, trust God, trust neighbor, trust self.
To trust does not guarantee never being let down or disappointed. Trust allows that those things are not the final word.
Blessings,
Ed
Trust is something that is essential for any relationship to work. If I don't trust my spouse, I will constantly be looking for them mess up, ultimately leading to my own self doubt as to what am I doing or not doing that makes them act that way. That of course is a false question because they are responsible for their own actions, but I'm responsible for my reaction. It is important to trust our children, if we don't, they will never learn how to make choices and how live independently of us. It is important to trust your employment. If you don't you'll always be looking over your shoulder wondering if the axe is going to fall or which of your colleagues is out to usurp you.
And of course all those material goods are also needed but not really trustworthy. The economics of the last several years has certainly shown that.
When I put my trust in God, those other parts of me, my relationships and material things are given their proper place. God knows they are important and in some cases needed. And I find I usually have what I need to be whole.
When I'm not trusting in God, when I put my trust in systems that's when things start to unravel. And much like the love God, love neighbor love self trilogy, there also so flows this parallel stream, trust God, trust neighbor, trust self.
To trust does not guarantee never being let down or disappointed. Trust allows that those things are not the final word.
Blessings,
Ed
Monday, February 22, 2010
Reflections for 2/22/10
"What we love the most often gives us the greatest pain. What we love in our work often gives us the greatest heartaches. No doubt this was true for Moses, too. His moments of religious experience, his moments in Sinai were no doubt his greatest religious fulfillment. Yet for all the heartaches his people gave him, I'll bet he wouldn't have traded the journey itself for anything. I know I wouldn't." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 108)
There is much in this earthly pilgrimage that is simultaneously fulfilling and frustrating. No matter which part of our lives we look at, there are aspects of the journey that have formed us and made us who we are at this moment. Sometimes those experiences were quite incredible, almost religious if you will. There are of course others that were incredibly painful. Where the only thing we could take from them is a lesson in what not to do, or to no how to deal with the negative experiences the next time they roll around.
Moses we are told doesn't make it to the promised land. Scripture interprets that as God's punishment for his unfaithfulness. He was allowed to see it from a distance.
There was a cartoon that I remember as a child where this group of "people" were flying around in some contraption and they were always seeking "the perfect place." I don't think they ever found it. Many of us are always looking for that perfect place, that promised land which actually doesn't exist, and yet is the goal put before us to keep us walking, to keep us striving.
I don't believe in a promised land here on earth. I do believe in heaven and perhaps that is a promised land of sorts. But I know that to arrive there, I need to continue on this journey through the highs and the lows, experiencing and trusting in God's presence throughout. Is that easy, no. Will it always be fun? Probably not. But in the long run will I continue to grow and learn from each day? I certainly hope so.
Blessings,
Ed
There is much in this earthly pilgrimage that is simultaneously fulfilling and frustrating. No matter which part of our lives we look at, there are aspects of the journey that have formed us and made us who we are at this moment. Sometimes those experiences were quite incredible, almost religious if you will. There are of course others that were incredibly painful. Where the only thing we could take from them is a lesson in what not to do, or to no how to deal with the negative experiences the next time they roll around.
Moses we are told doesn't make it to the promised land. Scripture interprets that as God's punishment for his unfaithfulness. He was allowed to see it from a distance.
There was a cartoon that I remember as a child where this group of "people" were flying around in some contraption and they were always seeking "the perfect place." I don't think they ever found it. Many of us are always looking for that perfect place, that promised land which actually doesn't exist, and yet is the goal put before us to keep us walking, to keep us striving.
I don't believe in a promised land here on earth. I do believe in heaven and perhaps that is a promised land of sorts. But I know that to arrive there, I need to continue on this journey through the highs and the lows, experiencing and trusting in God's presence throughout. Is that easy, no. Will it always be fun? Probably not. But in the long run will I continue to grow and learn from each day? I certainly hope so.
Blessings,
Ed
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Reflections for 2/21/10
"Sometimes we are able to believe that God loves us unconditionally, absolutely and forever. That's grace! And sometimes because we get down on ourselves, and carry guilt and fear and burdens, we are not able to believe that God loves us. Biblically speaking that's the greatest sin: not to believe the good news, not to accept the unconditional love of God. When we no longer believe God loves us, we can no longer love ourselves. We have to allow God to continually fill us. Then we find in our own lives the power to give love away." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 107)
We all have hear the scriptural injunction to "love God, neighbor and self." I've always seen these as a circular rather than a linear relationship. Each one flows to and from the other. I certainly was raised in a church and a family where the unconditional love of God was preached constantly.
It was a very rude awakening for me when I left that system and encountered other faithful people who seemed to believe in the conditional love of God. Unless everything that was wrong with you changed, or more likely that they didn't approve of God and they would not love you. I feel blessed that I didn't need their love to be complete, nor did I have to believe what they were saying about God.
Does God still love me "warts and all." Yes. Does God want me to deal with the warts, yes indeed. And it is that belief in the unconditional love that invites me and gives me the courage to deal with those warts. That says instead of beating yourself up over those warts, let God fill you in such a way as to desire to be wart free.
And when I've come to a healthier way of being and dealing with my warts. A way that shows that I've accepted God's love for me, and am therefore able to love myself in a non-self centered way. I will find it much easier to love other people warts and all, and allow them to work through their warts without me pointing them out, but allowing them and God to work together.
Blessings,
Ed
We all have hear the scriptural injunction to "love God, neighbor and self." I've always seen these as a circular rather than a linear relationship. Each one flows to and from the other. I certainly was raised in a church and a family where the unconditional love of God was preached constantly.
It was a very rude awakening for me when I left that system and encountered other faithful people who seemed to believe in the conditional love of God. Unless everything that was wrong with you changed, or more likely that they didn't approve of God and they would not love you. I feel blessed that I didn't need their love to be complete, nor did I have to believe what they were saying about God.
Does God still love me "warts and all." Yes. Does God want me to deal with the warts, yes indeed. And it is that belief in the unconditional love that invites me and gives me the courage to deal with those warts. That says instead of beating yourself up over those warts, let God fill you in such a way as to desire to be wart free.
And when I've come to a healthier way of being and dealing with my warts. A way that shows that I've accepted God's love for me, and am therefore able to love myself in a non-self centered way. I will find it much easier to love other people warts and all, and allow them to work through their warts without me pointing them out, but allowing them and God to work together.
Blessings,
Ed
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Reflections for 2/20/10
"The most simple spiritual discipline is some degree of solitude and silence. But it's the hardest, because none of us wants to be with someone we don't love. To be with our own thoughts and feelings, to stop the addictive prayer wheels and just feel what we're really feeling, think what we're really thinking, is probably the most courageous act most of us will ever do." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 106)
One of my growing edges spiritually is definitely solitude and silence. Force me to go on a quiet day and I'll start to crawl out of my skin. Part of that comes from being an extrovert, but that is also an excuse. Another part is what Rohr is talking about, being afraid of what I might find if the only person I have to relate to is me.
While most people that I know, even extroverts, will claim to want a day with nothing going on, yet if offered will rarely accept the invitation. I wonder if Rohr is right that the real problem is that I don't want to be with myself because I really don't love myself. I know one of my faults is that I constantly self-deprecate, even in the face of positive feedback I tend to resort to asking "why would anyone think that." In some ways it is very sad. And something I'm trying to work on as well.
Sometimes the extrovert in me does express what he's really feeling and thinking, the key will be to figure out when is the right time to actually express that. And maybe that would be something worth wrestling with the next time I get a chance for some solitude and silence.
Blessings,
Ed
One of my growing edges spiritually is definitely solitude and silence. Force me to go on a quiet day and I'll start to crawl out of my skin. Part of that comes from being an extrovert, but that is also an excuse. Another part is what Rohr is talking about, being afraid of what I might find if the only person I have to relate to is me.
While most people that I know, even extroverts, will claim to want a day with nothing going on, yet if offered will rarely accept the invitation. I wonder if Rohr is right that the real problem is that I don't want to be with myself because I really don't love myself. I know one of my faults is that I constantly self-deprecate, even in the face of positive feedback I tend to resort to asking "why would anyone think that." In some ways it is very sad. And something I'm trying to work on as well.
Sometimes the extrovert in me does express what he's really feeling and thinking, the key will be to figure out when is the right time to actually express that. And maybe that would be something worth wrestling with the next time I get a chance for some solitude and silence.
Blessings,
Ed
Friday, February 19, 2010
Reflections for 2/19/10
"What we lack in an addictive society and an addictive family is a sense of being truly alive. So we look for pseudo-ways to feel alive. They never work, as you know, but for some reason they seem better than doing nothing. We use nicotine, caffeine, or just stick food in our mouths to have some kind of sensation. some of us pour liquor down our throats, or overstimulate ourselves through gambling or destructive sexual activity. these behaviors are a testimony to a lack of spirituality. One who is spiritually alive has an excess of strength, an honest sense of interior creativity and interior imagination. They can say, 'I have more than enough. There's enough of me that I can give some of it away." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 105)
My grandfather one time, or perhaps more than one time, told me I was addicted, to food. He could see the weight I'd put on, which isn't hard to see after all and in his own sort of loving way and concern for me, pointed out the obvious. He certainly would know something of addiction since he was an alcoholic, though by the time of this particular lecture he'd been sober for a number of years.
He didn't suggest that I become more spiritual, he was agnostic so that would not have been in his vocabulary. But his confrontation was right on. I'd like to say that from that point on, I reversed course and am now a normal eater, who does so because to not eat would have its own health implications. I will say that I have noticed a direct correlation between when I'm spiritually in a good place and when I'm not, and that barometer is my eating habits.
When my spirituality is running on all cylinders I find my focus is greater, I don't feel overwhelmed and bored simultaneously. But when I start to take my spiritual practices for granted or put them aside for awhile, the trips to the kitchen become more frequent and the spiral downward commences.
I'm getting better at catching those moments and stopping the ride before it goes to far. I have a long way to go, and perhaps like anyone in recovery it is a life long process. I need the help of my friends, I need the inner strength that comes from God, and I need to keep those lines of relationship open.
Blessings,
Ed
My grandfather one time, or perhaps more than one time, told me I was addicted, to food. He could see the weight I'd put on, which isn't hard to see after all and in his own sort of loving way and concern for me, pointed out the obvious. He certainly would know something of addiction since he was an alcoholic, though by the time of this particular lecture he'd been sober for a number of years.
He didn't suggest that I become more spiritual, he was agnostic so that would not have been in his vocabulary. But his confrontation was right on. I'd like to say that from that point on, I reversed course and am now a normal eater, who does so because to not eat would have its own health implications. I will say that I have noticed a direct correlation between when I'm spiritually in a good place and when I'm not, and that barometer is my eating habits.
When my spirituality is running on all cylinders I find my focus is greater, I don't feel overwhelmed and bored simultaneously. But when I start to take my spiritual practices for granted or put them aside for awhile, the trips to the kitchen become more frequent and the spiral downward commences.
I'm getting better at catching those moments and stopping the ride before it goes to far. I have a long way to go, and perhaps like anyone in recovery it is a life long process. I need the help of my friends, I need the inner strength that comes from God, and I need to keep those lines of relationship open.
Blessings,
Ed
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Reflections for 2/18/10
"The conservative personality usually wants to shame or blame somebody. The liberal says no one should ever be blamed (except perhaps the conservatives!) We are all afraid of the radical responsibility of the Twelve Steps. No blame, no denial, no toxic shame, just the honest statement, I am___________." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 104)
One of the aspects of Lent that I find important is the chance to really and prayerfully take a hard look at myself and see who I really am and what I need to do to improve. I do believe that can be quite frightening especially if it means we have to accept who we are before we can actually do anything about it.
It will mean not blaming others for whatever is not as it should be with me. I can't control them, I can only control my response to them. I can't go into denial, pretending that what I've found isn't real, while continuing to behave in that fashion. And I can't run away from myself by telling myself what a horrible person I am, that's just avoiding the issue also.
I agree with Rohr the best place to start is with an "I" statement. Whatever that part is that you're choosing to address. And I would say that the easiest way that I find to actually get moving on any life time self improvement would be to follow the honest "I am______ statement, with the following truth statement "I am a beloved child of God." When I hold onto to that truth, some of the less desirable aspects of being me, can be addressed without feeling so alone.
Blessings,
Ed
One of the aspects of Lent that I find important is the chance to really and prayerfully take a hard look at myself and see who I really am and what I need to do to improve. I do believe that can be quite frightening especially if it means we have to accept who we are before we can actually do anything about it.
It will mean not blaming others for whatever is not as it should be with me. I can't control them, I can only control my response to them. I can't go into denial, pretending that what I've found isn't real, while continuing to behave in that fashion. And I can't run away from myself by telling myself what a horrible person I am, that's just avoiding the issue also.
I agree with Rohr the best place to start is with an "I" statement. Whatever that part is that you're choosing to address. And I would say that the easiest way that I find to actually get moving on any life time self improvement would be to follow the honest "I am______ statement, with the following truth statement "I am a beloved child of God." When I hold onto to that truth, some of the less desirable aspects of being me, can be addressed without feeling so alone.
Blessings,
Ed
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Reflections for 2/17/10
"Spirituality is about waking up. Eastern religions know this. The word Buddha means 'the awakened one.' Spirituality has come upon hard times in the West, where legalism so often took over that we didn't need spirituality. We lost the spiritual disciplines and tools to know how to remain awake. We lost the disciplines that show us what's happening, what human relationships mean, the effects of what we do to one another in our relationships." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p.103)
Most of us have to wake up each morning in a way that is not natural, the blaring of an alarm clock. I know that I often wake up before the alarm goes off, but I'll take a look and see what time it is. If it is to close to 6 a.m. (say 5:55 a.m.) I usually turn the alarm off and get going (a gift to the person next to me in bed.) Those rare times when I don't have to set an alarm are sometimes a real gift, letting my body and soul decide when its time to wake up.
Lately I've been asked to lead spirituality workshops in my Diocese. I don't know that I'm any expert but my church has a portable labyrinth so apparently ownership is de-facto wisdom. I have learned some things about spirituality. First there is no one way to do it. There are many disciplines that are found in all religions, and often times we borrow from each other and mold it into our own tradition. The labyrinth is not originally Christian, who you pray to on the labyrinth is what makes it Christian.
The disciplines I use, the Daily Offices, writing reflections and occasional times of solitude are there to wake me up to what God is doing, and to what God needs me to do. The legalism that infects the church seems to me to be more of a desire to control people rather than to let God have the control. Spirituality, real quality time listening for God, doesn't control people, it opens their eyes, hearts and minds to see the world around them and to seek a compassionate response to that world. It can also open us up to a compassion for ourselves as well. In those spiritual disciplines, in the quiet we might here God saying something about us, to us. Showing us a way to work on those parts of our lives that we are not as proud of, that weigh us down, inviting us to cast our cares and preoccupations onto God, who reminds us that there is plenty of room and time for God to be bothered with you, because God is always awake.
For Lent I'm going to develop a new spiritual discipline. Each day I'm going to attack some clutter. In that spiritual discipline, I'll take the time to reflect and pray about the objects that I no longer need. Pray in thanksgiving for the joy that they once gave, and if I'm giving it away, eg. clothes, to pray for the person that may benefit from it next. I hope you find something in these 40 days that actually wakes you up, can strengthen your relationship with God, neighbor and self.
Blessings on this Ash Wednesday,
Ed
Most of us have to wake up each morning in a way that is not natural, the blaring of an alarm clock. I know that I often wake up before the alarm goes off, but I'll take a look and see what time it is. If it is to close to 6 a.m. (say 5:55 a.m.) I usually turn the alarm off and get going (a gift to the person next to me in bed.) Those rare times when I don't have to set an alarm are sometimes a real gift, letting my body and soul decide when its time to wake up.
Lately I've been asked to lead spirituality workshops in my Diocese. I don't know that I'm any expert but my church has a portable labyrinth so apparently ownership is de-facto wisdom. I have learned some things about spirituality. First there is no one way to do it. There are many disciplines that are found in all religions, and often times we borrow from each other and mold it into our own tradition. The labyrinth is not originally Christian, who you pray to on the labyrinth is what makes it Christian.
The disciplines I use, the Daily Offices, writing reflections and occasional times of solitude are there to wake me up to what God is doing, and to what God needs me to do. The legalism that infects the church seems to me to be more of a desire to control people rather than to let God have the control. Spirituality, real quality time listening for God, doesn't control people, it opens their eyes, hearts and minds to see the world around them and to seek a compassionate response to that world. It can also open us up to a compassion for ourselves as well. In those spiritual disciplines, in the quiet we might here God saying something about us, to us. Showing us a way to work on those parts of our lives that we are not as proud of, that weigh us down, inviting us to cast our cares and preoccupations onto God, who reminds us that there is plenty of room and time for God to be bothered with you, because God is always awake.
For Lent I'm going to develop a new spiritual discipline. Each day I'm going to attack some clutter. In that spiritual discipline, I'll take the time to reflect and pray about the objects that I no longer need. Pray in thanksgiving for the joy that they once gave, and if I'm giving it away, eg. clothes, to pray for the person that may benefit from it next. I hope you find something in these 40 days that actually wakes you up, can strengthen your relationship with God, neighbor and self.
Blessings on this Ash Wednesday,
Ed
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Reflections for 2/16/10
"Some groups of radical disciples wear us out because they are so serious. Everything is so moralistic, heavy and a value judgment of good, better, best, right, wrong. 'The Scriptures say, Don't do this, you must do that.' Maybe I tire of this quickly because I was raised Catholic. Too much moralizing really becomes laborious, self-serving and finally, part of the problem. The mature Christian really is a 'holy fool.'" (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 101)
While I didn't grow up Catholic, or at least Roman Catholic, I know exactly what Rohr means. I too grow weary of listening to the moralizing of some of my brothers and sisters of faith. It is not only what they are saying, but often the tone of voice with which they say it. I often want to throw some Bible verses back their way about logs in eyes, not judging, and a few others that I cannot immediately recall.
But in some ways I actually feel sorry for them. So few of them are in a place to even be talking like that. Their own lives if and when exposed to the light often reveal where all this judgemental moralizing comes from. And quite often it is nothing more than projection and an inability to do any self assessment. If I can point to the faults of others and do so with enough bluster you might pay no attention to "the man behind the curtain."
I've also noticed an absence of joy in these folks lives. They fail to see the beauty around them. To truly embrace the grace and forgiveness that God so desperately wants them to accept. They have somehow convinced themselves that if they can find enough miserable sinners, to point out to God, then God won't notice them.
Blessings,
Ed
While I didn't grow up Catholic, or at least Roman Catholic, I know exactly what Rohr means. I too grow weary of listening to the moralizing of some of my brothers and sisters of faith. It is not only what they are saying, but often the tone of voice with which they say it. I often want to throw some Bible verses back their way about logs in eyes, not judging, and a few others that I cannot immediately recall.
But in some ways I actually feel sorry for them. So few of them are in a place to even be talking like that. Their own lives if and when exposed to the light often reveal where all this judgemental moralizing comes from. And quite often it is nothing more than projection and an inability to do any self assessment. If I can point to the faults of others and do so with enough bluster you might pay no attention to "the man behind the curtain."
I've also noticed an absence of joy in these folks lives. They fail to see the beauty around them. To truly embrace the grace and forgiveness that God so desperately wants them to accept. They have somehow convinced themselves that if they can find enough miserable sinners, to point out to God, then God won't notice them.
Blessings,
Ed
Monday, February 15, 2010
Reflections for 2/15/10
"We've reached the limits of liberalism. Liberalism is basically a philosophy that proclaims the rights and the freedoms and the growth and the development of the individual. My rights, my career, my wholeness, my options...But we've reached the limits of it. It finally moves to a place where all that we have are individuals seeking their own growth, their own happiness, their own development. Most cultures since the beginning of time would not share this worldview. There is little possibility there for the common good, for opening myself to what's good for the whole parish, the whole diocese, the whole people. The common good is what's good for the world, not just what's good for America or good for Christianity. One wonders if our people have forgotten how to think that way." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p.100)
As I read this quote, I was struck first by the critique of liberalism. Fr. Rohr is a liberal, heck I'm a liberal. Yet I can see what he is saying. The problem is that sort of the "free to be you and me" mentality that I was fed growing up with that Marlo Thomas record, didn't really equip anyone to deal with consequences or relating to anyone else. It ultimately lead to a lot of narcissism and navel gazing. And even with the 24 hour news channels, we've numbed ourselves to what's going on around us, because our own 3x3 box is hard enough.
That notion of the common good would seem to me to be what our country was founded on. There may even be instances where something may not appear to be of any benefit to me, but may be better for the whole. Of course if I see myself as part of the whole and less of this individual left to his own devices, then I may discover some actual value for me as well. But as long as I can only see what's in it for me, I'll be stuck in a very lonely place.
However, I do see signs of hope. There are occassions of reaching out to others that I witness. What would it look like if all of our systems actually looked towards the common good, rather than themselves or their constituents.
Blessings,
Ed
As I read this quote, I was struck first by the critique of liberalism. Fr. Rohr is a liberal, heck I'm a liberal. Yet I can see what he is saying. The problem is that sort of the "free to be you and me" mentality that I was fed growing up with that Marlo Thomas record, didn't really equip anyone to deal with consequences or relating to anyone else. It ultimately lead to a lot of narcissism and navel gazing. And even with the 24 hour news channels, we've numbed ourselves to what's going on around us, because our own 3x3 box is hard enough.
That notion of the common good would seem to me to be what our country was founded on. There may even be instances where something may not appear to be of any benefit to me, but may be better for the whole. Of course if I see myself as part of the whole and less of this individual left to his own devices, then I may discover some actual value for me as well. But as long as I can only see what's in it for me, I'll be stuck in a very lonely place.
However, I do see signs of hope. There are occassions of reaching out to others that I witness. What would it look like if all of our systems actually looked towards the common good, rather than themselves or their constituents.
Blessings,
Ed
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Reflections for 2/14/10
"That's where the Kingdom proclamation relativiizes all of reality. If Jesus is Lord, then America is not lord. The Pentagon is not lord. The gross national product and economic development are not lord. Whiteness, neighborhood, culture, gender and denomination-all not lord." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p.99)
Being #1 seems to be the most important thing in our society. College sports are consumed with who the number one team in the country is week by week. And every time the current #1 loses a game the fans storm the court acting as is if world peace has been achieved.
I personally believe that America is a great country. I haven't lived anywhere else so I can't for sure say that it is the best. But there isn't any place else I'd rather live. And yet I know it could be even better. We do seem to like proclaiming that we're Americans when we go abroad, though here in our country we often hyphenate with some other country.
We certainly are the strongest militarily and the men and women who serve deserve my prayers and my respect, but salvation doesn't come through the might of an army.
GNP and economic development may be indicators of corporate health, they are not what will bring me joy and peace. And actually the GDP is a better indicator for individuals, but again joy, peace and love don't come from money.
All those labels that define me white, straight, surbanite, male Episcopalian, do not make me any better than someone else. They may be descriptive but I'm still a human being made in the image of God. With the weaknesses that are inherant in the human condition.
When we don't have these other definers in proper perspective they become lords, and start lording it over us. We lose our freedoms when we make idols out of them. All of them have a role, and many could be put to good use in promoting a better world. But as long as the shadow side of all them is given more time to be in charge, idolatry will soon follow.
Blessings,
Ed
Being #1 seems to be the most important thing in our society. College sports are consumed with who the number one team in the country is week by week. And every time the current #1 loses a game the fans storm the court acting as is if world peace has been achieved.
I personally believe that America is a great country. I haven't lived anywhere else so I can't for sure say that it is the best. But there isn't any place else I'd rather live. And yet I know it could be even better. We do seem to like proclaiming that we're Americans when we go abroad, though here in our country we often hyphenate with some other country.
We certainly are the strongest militarily and the men and women who serve deserve my prayers and my respect, but salvation doesn't come through the might of an army.
GNP and economic development may be indicators of corporate health, they are not what will bring me joy and peace. And actually the GDP is a better indicator for individuals, but again joy, peace and love don't come from money.
All those labels that define me white, straight, surbanite, male Episcopalian, do not make me any better than someone else. They may be descriptive but I'm still a human being made in the image of God. With the weaknesses that are inherant in the human condition.
When we don't have these other definers in proper perspective they become lords, and start lording it over us. We lose our freedoms when we make idols out of them. All of them have a role, and many could be put to good use in promoting a better world. But as long as the shadow side of all them is given more time to be in charge, idolatry will soon follow.
Blessings,
Ed
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Reflections for 2/13/10
"Always we have to find our love, then give our love away. Sometimes it isn't easy to give or to see. We must love where we are called to love, and sometimes that means loving people and institutions that really turn us off." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 78)
Have you ever found yourself doing something you never would have pictured yourself doing? Perhaps a job or some volunteer organization. There are times in life when because we pocess some skill set, or something gets stirred deep within, that ignites a passion we didn't know we even had that gets us into those kind of situations.
We never fully know where we will land when we go out into the world in faith, following our heart. Sometimes we even wind up in a place where we ask how'd I get here, this is the poorest excuse for a well run organization. These people here are nuts. And yet somehow you know that's where you're supposed to be, and somehow you are able to do what you are called to do, because the One that called you there is faithful also.
There is not doubt that loving people and institutions that turn us off and make us angry is incredibly hard. Loving people and institutions that are just like me is easy. But I will not grow loving the easy. I will never know where my true passions lie, if I don't attempt to love and engage the hard places.
Blessings,
Ed
Have you ever found yourself doing something you never would have pictured yourself doing? Perhaps a job or some volunteer organization. There are times in life when because we pocess some skill set, or something gets stirred deep within, that ignites a passion we didn't know we even had that gets us into those kind of situations.
We never fully know where we will land when we go out into the world in faith, following our heart. Sometimes we even wind up in a place where we ask how'd I get here, this is the poorest excuse for a well run organization. These people here are nuts. And yet somehow you know that's where you're supposed to be, and somehow you are able to do what you are called to do, because the One that called you there is faithful also.
There is not doubt that loving people and institutions that turn us off and make us angry is incredibly hard. Loving people and institutions that are just like me is easy. But I will not grow loving the easy. I will never know where my true passions lie, if I don't attempt to love and engage the hard places.
Blessings,
Ed
Friday, February 12, 2010
Reflections for 2/12/10
"We must learn to trust God. Developing that trust is worth some particular attention, worth making time to stop and pray, and be quiet in God. That may be impractical, but the way of faith is not the way of efficiency. God has not called us to an efficient way of life. We are called to a way of faith. Much is a matter of listening and waiting." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 77)
It seems to me that we are as a society trying to enter into a leaner more efficient way to do things. With budgets stretched at every level, and our schedules so over scheduled that this idea of multitasking has become the norm. We start to resemble the Cat in the Hat, until just like that cat, we fall and a big mess gets made.
I'll admit that I like efficient things, especially meetings. Get to the point do the business needed and go home. That efficiency is often co-opted by anothers need for socializing. And that is sometimes hard to deal with.
I do know that finding the time to be quiet in God is very hard. When I lead workshops on spiritual disciplines, I always try to get folks to see the first hurdle, deciding to make the time. I try to start off small and as I find that 5 minutes wasn't to hard, expand it a little further. What I do find is that when the time is made for that quiet time alone with God, the day lays itself out with a lot more clarity. I can see what is truly necessary for that day, and what would be an added bonus to get done. One of the more interesting by products of a good prayer life for me, is actually being more efficient. But I think the order often gets flipped for folks, become more efficient to have a better prayer life.
So perhaps a goal is to ask in the silence which is the best way to do something? The faithful answer comes in that period of quiet time. The challenge is to go make that time available to yourself.
Blessings,
Ed
It seems to me that we are as a society trying to enter into a leaner more efficient way to do things. With budgets stretched at every level, and our schedules so over scheduled that this idea of multitasking has become the norm. We start to resemble the Cat in the Hat, until just like that cat, we fall and a big mess gets made.
I'll admit that I like efficient things, especially meetings. Get to the point do the business needed and go home. That efficiency is often co-opted by anothers need for socializing. And that is sometimes hard to deal with.
I do know that finding the time to be quiet in God is very hard. When I lead workshops on spiritual disciplines, I always try to get folks to see the first hurdle, deciding to make the time. I try to start off small and as I find that 5 minutes wasn't to hard, expand it a little further. What I do find is that when the time is made for that quiet time alone with God, the day lays itself out with a lot more clarity. I can see what is truly necessary for that day, and what would be an added bonus to get done. One of the more interesting by products of a good prayer life for me, is actually being more efficient. But I think the order often gets flipped for folks, become more efficient to have a better prayer life.
So perhaps a goal is to ask in the silence which is the best way to do something? The faithful answer comes in that period of quiet time. The challenge is to go make that time available to yourself.
Blessings,
Ed
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Reflections for 2/11/10
"A favorite saying is, 'God helps those who help themselves.' I think the phrase can be understood correctly, but in most practical situations it is pure heresy. Scripture clearly says God helps those who trust in God, not those who help themselves. We need to be told that so strongly because of our entire 'do it yourself' orientation. As educated people, as Americans, our orientation is to do it. It takes applying the brakes, turning off our own power and allowing Another." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" pp. 77)
This morning as I was digging out from this overabundance of snow, I saw a neighbor going up and down the sidewalks in the neighborhood with his snow thrower. He has a larger one than most people, and seemed quite content to just enjoy the beautiful blue skies and do something nice for other people. He didn't knock on anyone's door and ask for permission or compensation. He just did.
These random acts of kindness are the type that gives me hope for our world. The Protestant work ethic, coupled with the rugged individualism that has been a part of our Cultural mythology, can lead us away from the the type of mutual care that made the Judeo-Christian tradition so strong.
In my life there are tasks that I just have to do. I've been called to do them and I have the skills to do them. There are other tasks that I have to depend on others to do, because I lack the skill or the knowledge to do them. And admitting my limitations can be hard because then I might be, God forbid, dependent on others. And that fear fuels one of those deadly sins, pride.
Somewhere between the rugged individualism and the everybody do it for me attitude lies the healthy way of living, moving and having our being. Flowing from that healthier way of being comes a desire to help others, and to accept help from others. Now how do we create a truly healthier world?
Blessings,
Ed
This morning as I was digging out from this overabundance of snow, I saw a neighbor going up and down the sidewalks in the neighborhood with his snow thrower. He has a larger one than most people, and seemed quite content to just enjoy the beautiful blue skies and do something nice for other people. He didn't knock on anyone's door and ask for permission or compensation. He just did.
These random acts of kindness are the type that gives me hope for our world. The Protestant work ethic, coupled with the rugged individualism that has been a part of our Cultural mythology, can lead us away from the the type of mutual care that made the Judeo-Christian tradition so strong.
In my life there are tasks that I just have to do. I've been called to do them and I have the skills to do them. There are other tasks that I have to depend on others to do, because I lack the skill or the knowledge to do them. And admitting my limitations can be hard because then I might be, God forbid, dependent on others. And that fear fuels one of those deadly sins, pride.
Somewhere between the rugged individualism and the everybody do it for me attitude lies the healthy way of living, moving and having our being. Flowing from that healthier way of being comes a desire to help others, and to accept help from others. Now how do we create a truly healthier world?
Blessings,
Ed
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Reflections for 2/10/10
"If we simply love that which is worthy of love, we will never love at all. The Lord loved "the Church," Israel, exactly as it was. You cannot love the Church as it was fifty years ago. That's a cop-out. The only Church you must love is the Church today." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 76)
Bruce Springsteen had a song called "Glory Days." If I recall it was pretty much about sitting around recalling days that you think were so good, because your present stinks. Most of us have some period of our life that we glorify and mythologize as if that were the perfect time.
It really doesn't matter what type of organization you're in, religious or secular. It is always hardest to love the current manifestation of the organization than it is some past one. As things change we become disillusioned or disappointed because that connection to our past is gone, and suddenly that thing feels no longer worthy of our love and support. Subconsciously we'd almost rather see it die than embrace what it may in fact become.
To a certain extent we are making a statement of worthiness. There are things worthy of our love and support. There are also parts of life that may not be "worthy" but still need our love and support. Who knows by loving something that doesn't feel "worthy" you might bring to it some real worth.
Do you have organizational relationships that seemed to have changed, while you weren't looking? Perhaps a church, or a college, or a club. I know there are many places that have been important in my life, that are no longer as they were when I was there. Then again I'm not the same person either. And maybe because we've both changed, I can find a way to love and appreciate what that place has become.
Blessings,
Ed
Bruce Springsteen had a song called "Glory Days." If I recall it was pretty much about sitting around recalling days that you think were so good, because your present stinks. Most of us have some period of our life that we glorify and mythologize as if that were the perfect time.
It really doesn't matter what type of organization you're in, religious or secular. It is always hardest to love the current manifestation of the organization than it is some past one. As things change we become disillusioned or disappointed because that connection to our past is gone, and suddenly that thing feels no longer worthy of our love and support. Subconsciously we'd almost rather see it die than embrace what it may in fact become.
To a certain extent we are making a statement of worthiness. There are things worthy of our love and support. There are also parts of life that may not be "worthy" but still need our love and support. Who knows by loving something that doesn't feel "worthy" you might bring to it some real worth.
Do you have organizational relationships that seemed to have changed, while you weren't looking? Perhaps a church, or a college, or a club. I know there are many places that have been important in my life, that are no longer as they were when I was there. Then again I'm not the same person either. And maybe because we've both changed, I can find a way to love and appreciate what that place has become.
Blessings,
Ed
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Reflections for 2/9/10
"Our age has come to expect satisfaction. We have grown up in an absolutely unique period when having and possessing and accomplishing have been real options. We have the illusion of fulfillment and an even more dangerous illusion that we have a right to expect fulfillment-and fulfillment now-as long as we are clever enough, quick enough, and pray or work hard enough for our goals." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 75)
Apparently we've gotten past Mick Jagger's notion that you can't get satisfaction. Okay so that's not what he's talking about. We do live in an instant gratification world. Though I would say recently we've found out that such a world has a shadow side to it. For many people especially folks my generation and the one before and after got these little plastic things in our wallets that told us we could have those things we wanted without having to save for them. Debt was not a four letter word, as it was for my grandfather. And now we're paying for it.
We also watch folks push and push hard to achieve and we see folks succeed and then start to emulate them immediately because certainly if it worked for them, it must be a universal truth. And while some effort is certainly needed to reach one's goals, we are never guaranteed success. Being clever will only take you so far. Being fast to respond doesn't mean that someone else might not have been quicker. Praying for success often comes before praying for a clear path.
I certainly don't want to fail. I also deep down inside have personal goals. The faith question is: are my goals in line with God's promises to me? If they aren't then there won't be much satisfaction even if I succeed. Fulfillment will be like eating a twinkie instead of a real meal.
And I've even found that inspite of my "social location" or "place of priviledge" these also don't guarantee me anything, nor should they. What I need to learn is to be patient in waiting for the fulfillment of what is promised.
Blessings,
Ed
Apparently we've gotten past Mick Jagger's notion that you can't get satisfaction. Okay so that's not what he's talking about. We do live in an instant gratification world. Though I would say recently we've found out that such a world has a shadow side to it. For many people especially folks my generation and the one before and after got these little plastic things in our wallets that told us we could have those things we wanted without having to save for them. Debt was not a four letter word, as it was for my grandfather. And now we're paying for it.
We also watch folks push and push hard to achieve and we see folks succeed and then start to emulate them immediately because certainly if it worked for them, it must be a universal truth. And while some effort is certainly needed to reach one's goals, we are never guaranteed success. Being clever will only take you so far. Being fast to respond doesn't mean that someone else might not have been quicker. Praying for success often comes before praying for a clear path.
I certainly don't want to fail. I also deep down inside have personal goals. The faith question is: are my goals in line with God's promises to me? If they aren't then there won't be much satisfaction even if I succeed. Fulfillment will be like eating a twinkie instead of a real meal.
And I've even found that inspite of my "social location" or "place of priviledge" these also don't guarantee me anything, nor should they. What I need to learn is to be patient in waiting for the fulfillment of what is promised.
Blessings,
Ed
Monday, February 8, 2010
Reflections for 2/8/10
"The word always points us to the future and calls us out of our own idol-making and insecurities to the security and future that God will create. Christianity, like Judaism is essentially a forward-looking religion because it destroys our idols, character armor and defense mechanisms, and leads us to trust in God's future. Faith is the security to be insecure." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 74)
As a history major I guess I've always had a fascination with the past. I'll even admit to occassionally waxing nostalgic for some mythical past time in life. When the wax of those daydreams melts I usually can see why those are times that are gone, and while containing some pleasant memories, also have a whole lot pains. Those pains are of course the very things that drive me out of the past and point towards a different future.
Each new chapter of life has involved some level of risk and entering out of some comfort zone and stepping out in faith, believing God would be with me. Whether that step was leaving New Jersey and going to college in Iowa, that took faith. By the end it was obvious that the right choice had been made, and yet another idol had been created, and needed to be dashed.
I suppose that's how it's always been for me, just when I start to get to comfortable, a different call to venture forth into the unknown comes. And those ways of being me that had made that time and place work need to be shed, in order for the essential Ed could breath and take on what was needed for the next stage in the journey into the future.
Blessings,
Ed
As a history major I guess I've always had a fascination with the past. I'll even admit to occassionally waxing nostalgic for some mythical past time in life. When the wax of those daydreams melts I usually can see why those are times that are gone, and while containing some pleasant memories, also have a whole lot pains. Those pains are of course the very things that drive me out of the past and point towards a different future.
Each new chapter of life has involved some level of risk and entering out of some comfort zone and stepping out in faith, believing God would be with me. Whether that step was leaving New Jersey and going to college in Iowa, that took faith. By the end it was obvious that the right choice had been made, and yet another idol had been created, and needed to be dashed.
I suppose that's how it's always been for me, just when I start to get to comfortable, a different call to venture forth into the unknown comes. And those ways of being me that had made that time and place work need to be shed, in order for the essential Ed could breath and take on what was needed for the next stage in the journey into the future.
Blessings,
Ed
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Reflections for 02/07/10
"For the Hebrew people, history was always the time between promise and fulfillment. The faithful one was the one who outstared the darkness-the void-and knew that somehow, some way, out of all this absurdity and aimlessness, the word of the Lord would be fulfilled."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 74)
Waiting for something to happen that you've been told will happen can be quite stressful. If is something you're hoping for, then the waiting can be the hardest part. Of course if it is something you are dreading the anxiety can be overwhelming as well.
It is that in between time that is the hardest to stay in, the part that does feel absurd and aimless. When we aren't sure what we're supposed to do, except wait. Because we are action oriented people, waiting just drives us nuts.
The question of faith for me in those moments is will I trust enough that there truly is a light at the end of the tunnel. When I'm in those valley periods, to just keep walking forward, step by step.
That is not easy to do, in a world that promises instant gratification, yet rarely delivers much satisfaction. And usually very little in sustainability.
Yet throughout scripture both Hebrew and Christian are countless stories of people being promised and that the only sign that it was real would be that you'll know it when it happens.
While I continue to put my trust in God, I do understand that God does not stand for Guaranteed Overnight Delivery.
Blessings,
Ed
Waiting for something to happen that you've been told will happen can be quite stressful. If is something you're hoping for, then the waiting can be the hardest part. Of course if it is something you are dreading the anxiety can be overwhelming as well.
It is that in between time that is the hardest to stay in, the part that does feel absurd and aimless. When we aren't sure what we're supposed to do, except wait. Because we are action oriented people, waiting just drives us nuts.
The question of faith for me in those moments is will I trust enough that there truly is a light at the end of the tunnel. When I'm in those valley periods, to just keep walking forward, step by step.
That is not easy to do, in a world that promises instant gratification, yet rarely delivers much satisfaction. And usually very little in sustainability.
Yet throughout scripture both Hebrew and Christian are countless stories of people being promised and that the only sign that it was real would be that you'll know it when it happens.
While I continue to put my trust in God, I do understand that God does not stand for Guaranteed Overnight Delivery.
Blessings,
Ed
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Reflections for 02/06/2010
"The Scriptures call us into a personal struggle like Jacob's. He wrestled with an angel of Yahweh (Genesis 32:24-31) In that personal involvement, in our personal wrestling match with the mystery of God, we come to faith. Faith is not just another competing ideology. It is more a process than a conclusion, more a way of relating than a way of explaining, more wrestling match than a classroom lesson." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p.73)
One of my favorite sports is wrestling. I wrestled in high school. Grinnell didn't have a wrestling team, (strange for a school in Iowa). Both of my boys have wrestled, and Mike still is, I'm hoping Peter starts again next year. Wrestling isn't for everyone. It is an individual sport that has a team score. There are very few sports like it. So when I see the notion of wrestling being used to describe faith, I get excited.
Fr. Rohr said that faith is not just another competing ideology. I take that to mean for me, that faith is really what supports my other ideologies, my politics, my ethics, my stewardship, my work, and my relationships.
As someone who lives well in ambiguity, and doesn't see the world as an ongoing either or choice, the idea that faith is a process more than a conclusion, also resonates. Though I've met many folks for whom faith has to give decisive answers, or they panic.
I'm with him on faith being about relating more than explaining. Though I do think sometimes in the relating, we find an explanation for the why questions. And if faith is brave and secure enough it will enter into dialogue and relationship with the fields that answer the why questions.
Faith certainly for me is that wrestling match. Whether it be wrestling with pieces of scripture, or struggling with the harder questions in life, that defy explanation. I certainly have had classroom lesson in faith, lots of Sunday School growing up, and 3 years of seminary, but the best of all of those were the ones that got me thinking and inquiring, rather than spoon feeding me the answers.
Blessings,
Ed
One of my favorite sports is wrestling. I wrestled in high school. Grinnell didn't have a wrestling team, (strange for a school in Iowa). Both of my boys have wrestled, and Mike still is, I'm hoping Peter starts again next year. Wrestling isn't for everyone. It is an individual sport that has a team score. There are very few sports like it. So when I see the notion of wrestling being used to describe faith, I get excited.
Fr. Rohr said that faith is not just another competing ideology. I take that to mean for me, that faith is really what supports my other ideologies, my politics, my ethics, my stewardship, my work, and my relationships.
As someone who lives well in ambiguity, and doesn't see the world as an ongoing either or choice, the idea that faith is a process more than a conclusion, also resonates. Though I've met many folks for whom faith has to give decisive answers, or they panic.
I'm with him on faith being about relating more than explaining. Though I do think sometimes in the relating, we find an explanation for the why questions. And if faith is brave and secure enough it will enter into dialogue and relationship with the fields that answer the why questions.
Faith certainly for me is that wrestling match. Whether it be wrestling with pieces of scripture, or struggling with the harder questions in life, that defy explanation. I certainly have had classroom lesson in faith, lots of Sunday School growing up, and 3 years of seminary, but the best of all of those were the ones that got me thinking and inquiring, rather than spoon feeding me the answers.
Blessings,
Ed
Friday, February 5, 2010
Reflections for 02/05/2010
"I come to know my pesonhood only in the infinite respect of the I-thou relationship, which finally only God can show me: subject to subject, gaze to gaze, one who refuses to treat me as an object. In one sense, love is always between equals. God's love for us is so perfect, we know ourelves to be respected as equals and lovers. It takes a lifetime to absorb that!" (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 72)
When I do any self analysis, I suppose it is true that I will look at myself in terms of my relationships. How are they doing? My familial ones, the ones in my parish, the ones with those who are my friends, the ones with people I may meet only once. And of course ultimately with God. The problem of course with self analysis is that I am truly hearing only one voice, my own. I'll assume since I am still married, and I am told daily that I am loved that my familial relationship s are good and that my role as husband and father is going well. I feel confident in saying that since people still come to my church to worship and give freely of their time, talent and treasure, that I'm probably doing well in my role as priest. My friends do not seem to find reasons not to get together, so I'll conclude that I'm a decent friend.
But what about that relationship with God. I don't get love notes. There is no peer review, there is no report card. I can only go on the hope I have that God is pleased with me. I'm not sure I can go as far as Fr. Rohr does in saying that I am an equal partner with God. Again God hasn't told me that directly, though there are scriptural references to suggest it. I believe that God doesn't control my every move, but I do believe God is along side me, occassionaly suggesting that one action might not be the best course to take. I certainly believe that I am not just some plaything in a great cosmic game.
What I am, in relationship to God I believe, is a work in progress. Constantly updating, improving, occassionaly crashing, but never destroyed. Fr. Rohr is right about this part for sure. It does take a lifetime to truly absorb what our relationship with God really means for us.
Blessings,
Ed
When I do any self analysis, I suppose it is true that I will look at myself in terms of my relationships. How are they doing? My familial ones, the ones in my parish, the ones with those who are my friends, the ones with people I may meet only once. And of course ultimately with God. The problem of course with self analysis is that I am truly hearing only one voice, my own. I'll assume since I am still married, and I am told daily that I am loved that my familial relationship s are good and that my role as husband and father is going well. I feel confident in saying that since people still come to my church to worship and give freely of their time, talent and treasure, that I'm probably doing well in my role as priest. My friends do not seem to find reasons not to get together, so I'll conclude that I'm a decent friend.
But what about that relationship with God. I don't get love notes. There is no peer review, there is no report card. I can only go on the hope I have that God is pleased with me. I'm not sure I can go as far as Fr. Rohr does in saying that I am an equal partner with God. Again God hasn't told me that directly, though there are scriptural references to suggest it. I believe that God doesn't control my every move, but I do believe God is along side me, occassionaly suggesting that one action might not be the best course to take. I certainly believe that I am not just some plaything in a great cosmic game.
What I am, in relationship to God I believe, is a work in progress. Constantly updating, improving, occassionaly crashing, but never destroyed. Fr. Rohr is right about this part for sure. It does take a lifetime to truly absorb what our relationship with God really means for us.
Blessings,
Ed
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Reflections for 2/04/10
"A consumer-oriented, functional and materialistic age finds faith almost impossible. We want religion, but we surely do not want faith. Because if faith is nothing, the faithful person is a nobody. In our shallow culture, trust is called naivete'. Forgiveness always looks like being soft and conceding to the enemy-even speaking the truth will not win you any votes or look patriotic on the evening news. Faith is nothing in this age and culture. Faith always has been nothing." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 71)
I'll have to admit that one of my fears is not mattering. It's a kink in my armor to be sure. I want fully to believe that I matter, and that what I do matters. Yet, since I consider what is central to how I go about living, it is faith. Something that is immeasurable and unprovable, but when you have it, you can't live without. It is no coincidence that St. Paul says that faith, hope and love abide. Yes I know the greatest is love. But it will be hard to walk in love, without faith and without hope.
I do believe that Fr. Rohr is correct about our culture wanting religion, or at least the show of it, but probably not faith. Religious people make for great and controversial sound bites, faithful people just do, not seeking the limelight. We're nobodies by choice. We trust, even when called naive, because to not trust is to cave in to the cynicism, and to have to constantly be looking behind one's back, and questioning the people's hidden agendas all the time. No wonder the mental professions are thriving. Forgiving people is not nearly as glamarous as calling for retribution, making people pay. Going under the false impression that in fact any hurt I have will be healed through another's suffering.
I probably won't be successful by worldly standards. I may have to find some other methods of measurement. But I certainly hope to continue to be faithful, and to live and grow in faith.
Blessings,
Ed
I'll have to admit that one of my fears is not mattering. It's a kink in my armor to be sure. I want fully to believe that I matter, and that what I do matters. Yet, since I consider what is central to how I go about living, it is faith. Something that is immeasurable and unprovable, but when you have it, you can't live without. It is no coincidence that St. Paul says that faith, hope and love abide. Yes I know the greatest is love. But it will be hard to walk in love, without faith and without hope.
I do believe that Fr. Rohr is correct about our culture wanting religion, or at least the show of it, but probably not faith. Religious people make for great and controversial sound bites, faithful people just do, not seeking the limelight. We're nobodies by choice. We trust, even when called naive, because to not trust is to cave in to the cynicism, and to have to constantly be looking behind one's back, and questioning the people's hidden agendas all the time. No wonder the mental professions are thriving. Forgiving people is not nearly as glamarous as calling for retribution, making people pay. Going under the false impression that in fact any hurt I have will be healed through another's suffering.
I probably won't be successful by worldly standards. I may have to find some other methods of measurement. But I certainly hope to continue to be faithful, and to live and grow in faith.
Blessings,
Ed
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Reflections for 2/03/10
"Our parent's faith is not ours until we walk the journey ourselves. God has no grandchildren." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 70)
I grew up in a Christian household. More specifically I'm a "PK" (preacher's kid). I've been an Episcopalian all of my life. I can trace on my mother's side centuries of being Episcopalian/Anglican.
In some ways the notion of being converted makes no sense to me. I did not have a conversion experience. Just a faith that kept growing slowly but surely and hasn't stopped. But I do not rest on my laurels of my parent's faith. They certainly planted the seed and created fertile ground for my faith to be nurtured in, but there did come a time, when I started to walk the faith journey myself. That period was college.
Grinnell College, my alma mater, is not exactly known for it's embracing of faith. There was certainly a chaplain, and there were people of many different faiths there, but regular church goers or people who professed and lived out their faith I'd be hard pressed to name to many. Non-sectarian schools just don't go that route. However, in the town of Grinnell was a place that I could in fact continue my faith journey. St. Paul's Episcopal Church, right across the street from the campus. I was blessed by the presence of an excellent priest who truly reached out to the campus. And there I was in Iowa, where the name Zelley meant nothing, no baggage, no history, no being a PK. I could just be Ed, and start to work out what living the Christian life would mean to me.
Biblically we are told that we are joint heir with Christ. I believe my Jewish friends would tell me something close to being born a Jew. I certainly see the notion of a Catholic heritage in my Roman Catholic friends, even the ones that haven't darkened the door of a church in years. They just see themselves that way. However the real challenge is to decide to develop a faith that goes beyond being a family heirloom that no one ever touches or looks at. If faith starts off as a hand me down, it needs to be used in ways that make sense to us. I'm glad to still be part of the tradition that I grew up in, some people need a change of scenery and that's fine too. But ultimatley a mature faith is one where you see yourself as a child of God. If you've been away for awhile it may be worth looking at a place with some connection, but you may also want to look and see if there's something different that you can claim as your own.
Blessings,
Ed
I grew up in a Christian household. More specifically I'm a "PK" (preacher's kid). I've been an Episcopalian all of my life. I can trace on my mother's side centuries of being Episcopalian/Anglican.
In some ways the notion of being converted makes no sense to me. I did not have a conversion experience. Just a faith that kept growing slowly but surely and hasn't stopped. But I do not rest on my laurels of my parent's faith. They certainly planted the seed and created fertile ground for my faith to be nurtured in, but there did come a time, when I started to walk the faith journey myself. That period was college.
Grinnell College, my alma mater, is not exactly known for it's embracing of faith. There was certainly a chaplain, and there were people of many different faiths there, but regular church goers or people who professed and lived out their faith I'd be hard pressed to name to many. Non-sectarian schools just don't go that route. However, in the town of Grinnell was a place that I could in fact continue my faith journey. St. Paul's Episcopal Church, right across the street from the campus. I was blessed by the presence of an excellent priest who truly reached out to the campus. And there I was in Iowa, where the name Zelley meant nothing, no baggage, no history, no being a PK. I could just be Ed, and start to work out what living the Christian life would mean to me.
Biblically we are told that we are joint heir with Christ. I believe my Jewish friends would tell me something close to being born a Jew. I certainly see the notion of a Catholic heritage in my Roman Catholic friends, even the ones that haven't darkened the door of a church in years. They just see themselves that way. However the real challenge is to decide to develop a faith that goes beyond being a family heirloom that no one ever touches or looks at. If faith starts off as a hand me down, it needs to be used in ways that make sense to us. I'm glad to still be part of the tradition that I grew up in, some people need a change of scenery and that's fine too. But ultimatley a mature faith is one where you see yourself as a child of God. If you've been away for awhile it may be worth looking at a place with some connection, but you may also want to look and see if there's something different that you can claim as your own.
Blessings,
Ed
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Reflections for 2/02/10
"We have never had the courage to take the word of the Lord seriously. We are afraid of gospel power and gospel powerlessness. We've experienced just enough Christianity, someone once said, to forever inoculate ourselves from wanting the real thing." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 69)
I remember an ad for Coca Cola, which claimed it was "the real thing." Then of course there were also the taste tests of Coke vs. Pepsi. Brands have been competing for folks for a long time. Ultimately no statement about being the best can ever past our own subjectivity we know what we like and sometimes we even know why.
As I read that quote from Fr. Rohr, I wondered about the notion of real Christianity. I believe what we would find is that much like a taste test, what I might describe as "the real thing" might be very different from someone else's "real thing." Those of us who are Christian have a hard enough time talking to each other about what should be a shared faith, "the real thing," because we're more invested in talking about whether Cherry Coke is better than Vanilla Coke or whatever flavor you want to add.
I also think he's on to something with his inoculation idea. If I'm correct you get an incoluation by being given the very disease you're trying to protect against. So it is with faith. If I go to church just enough and if I talk about how much I love Jesus, just enough, I can avoid doing anything that Jesus commanded me to do. I don't actually have to engage in a faith that can open my eyes to be an agent of compassion to a hurting world. Or to even recognize the log in my own eye.
What I have found for me is "the real thing" is a faith that starts under the belief that I am made in the image of God and redeemed by Christ. And because of that I am called to continue that ministry of reconciliation and compassion that Christ himself revealed, and to do more than just pay lip service to it.
Blessings,
Ed
I remember an ad for Coca Cola, which claimed it was "the real thing." Then of course there were also the taste tests of Coke vs. Pepsi. Brands have been competing for folks for a long time. Ultimately no statement about being the best can ever past our own subjectivity we know what we like and sometimes we even know why.
As I read that quote from Fr. Rohr, I wondered about the notion of real Christianity. I believe what we would find is that much like a taste test, what I might describe as "the real thing" might be very different from someone else's "real thing." Those of us who are Christian have a hard enough time talking to each other about what should be a shared faith, "the real thing," because we're more invested in talking about whether Cherry Coke is better than Vanilla Coke or whatever flavor you want to add.
I also think he's on to something with his inoculation idea. If I'm correct you get an incoluation by being given the very disease you're trying to protect against. So it is with faith. If I go to church just enough and if I talk about how much I love Jesus, just enough, I can avoid doing anything that Jesus commanded me to do. I don't actually have to engage in a faith that can open my eyes to be an agent of compassion to a hurting world. Or to even recognize the log in my own eye.
What I have found for me is "the real thing" is a faith that starts under the belief that I am made in the image of God and redeemed by Christ. And because of that I am called to continue that ministry of reconciliation and compassion that Christ himself revealed, and to do more than just pay lip service to it.
Blessings,
Ed
Monday, February 1, 2010
Reflections for 2/01/10
" Every situation, even though immediately it might look unhappy or difficult or absurd or impossible, he praises God. That becomes the transparency through which God is able to act through us and in us, when we trust God that much, when we believe that God is always loving us." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 68)
Certainly its incredibly easy to praise God, when something good happens unexpectedly or when we're in smooth sailing mode. I can be incredibly generous, loving, and kind when everything is working. The real challenge comes when things are going down the tubes, or when I can see a real storm on the horizon. Or when caught unexpectedly by a really negative situation especially when I'm the target. How do I praise God at those moments? How does it not become like the scene it the movie "Animal House" where Niedermeyer and company or initiating pledges by spanking them with a paddle, and all they can say is "thank you sir may I have another." That certainly is not praising God, nor does speak well of ones relationship with God if the only thing we can muster in bad times, is please keep it coming. God isn't interested in spiritual masochism.
When things are going wrong, I do tend to praise God, because it is in that relationship, that no matter how alone or abandoned I may feel by others, I still sense God's presence, which then clears the fog enough for me to see, that in fact, no I'm not alone, nor do I have to stay self-deceived in my loneliness. Yes, I need to remember to praise God for the good times, but to also trust in the loving presence in the bad. Easy to do? No. A better way to deal with the situation? In my experience, Yes!
Blessings,
Ed
Certainly its incredibly easy to praise God, when something good happens unexpectedly or when we're in smooth sailing mode. I can be incredibly generous, loving, and kind when everything is working. The real challenge comes when things are going down the tubes, or when I can see a real storm on the horizon. Or when caught unexpectedly by a really negative situation especially when I'm the target. How do I praise God at those moments? How does it not become like the scene it the movie "Animal House" where Niedermeyer and company or initiating pledges by spanking them with a paddle, and all they can say is "thank you sir may I have another." That certainly is not praising God, nor does speak well of ones relationship with God if the only thing we can muster in bad times, is please keep it coming. God isn't interested in spiritual masochism.
When things are going wrong, I do tend to praise God, because it is in that relationship, that no matter how alone or abandoned I may feel by others, I still sense God's presence, which then clears the fog enough for me to see, that in fact, no I'm not alone, nor do I have to stay self-deceived in my loneliness. Yes, I need to remember to praise God for the good times, but to also trust in the loving presence in the bad. Easy to do? No. A better way to deal with the situation? In my experience, Yes!
Blessings,
Ed
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