"I come to know my pesonhood only in the infinite respect of the I-thou relationship, which finally only God can show me: subject to subject, gaze to gaze, one who refuses to treat me as an object. In one sense, love is always between equals. God's love for us is so perfect, we know ourelves to be respected as equals and lovers. It takes a lifetime to absorb that!" (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 72)
When I do any self analysis, I suppose it is true that I will look at myself in terms of my relationships. How are they doing? My familial ones, the ones in my parish, the ones with those who are my friends, the ones with people I may meet only once. And of course ultimately with God. The problem of course with self analysis is that I am truly hearing only one voice, my own. I'll assume since I am still married, and I am told daily that I am loved that my familial relationship s are good and that my role as husband and father is going well. I feel confident in saying that since people still come to my church to worship and give freely of their time, talent and treasure, that I'm probably doing well in my role as priest. My friends do not seem to find reasons not to get together, so I'll conclude that I'm a decent friend.
But what about that relationship with God. I don't get love notes. There is no peer review, there is no report card. I can only go on the hope I have that God is pleased with me. I'm not sure I can go as far as Fr. Rohr does in saying that I am an equal partner with God. Again God hasn't told me that directly, though there are scriptural references to suggest it. I believe that God doesn't control my every move, but I do believe God is along side me, occassionaly suggesting that one action might not be the best course to take. I certainly believe that I am not just some plaything in a great cosmic game.
What I am, in relationship to God I believe, is a work in progress. Constantly updating, improving, occassionaly crashing, but never destroyed. Fr. Rohr is right about this part for sure. It does take a lifetime to truly absorb what our relationship with God really means for us.
Blessings,
Ed
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