"People are spending their whole lives trying to earn what they already have, trying to be worthy of God. You don't get worthy; you are worthy. The only thing that initially separates you from God is the belief that are separate!"(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 35)
When I think of the primary relationships in my life: my wife, my extended family, my friends and God, I realize I've never had to earn anything with them. In life the only thing I really have to earn now is my paycheck.
Those relationships gave me love unconditionally, all waiting for my response.
While it is true that I didn't earn those relationships, I still have to work at maintaining them. I can't take them for granted. The greatest gift though is still that unlike a paycheck or a victory in sports, I didn't have to do much except to be myself, and to believe that I was truly loved.
When I start from a place of worthiness with God, I'm free to do things because I want to and they are the right thing to do. There's no merit badge system with God. The free gift of grace only asks for a positive response. For me that has been to extend that compassion and love to others.
And so ends the year with Richard Rohr. I wish you a Happy and blessed New Year. Tomorrow new year, new author to reflect with. I hope you've enjoyed reading these as much as I've enjoyed writing them.
Blessings,
Ed
Friday, December 31, 2010
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Reflections for 12/30/10
"I cannot prove to you with any kind of logic, or by any bit of philosophy, for example, that this is the word of God, that God exists or that Jesus is Lord. But I call you to step out, trust, love. Say, 'Lord, if you are in fact the Lord, then show yourself in my life and speak to my heart.'"(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 35)
While I don't have too many deep conversations with people about why I believe in God, especially with folk who are not inclined to believe it, I have to admit, I'm not sure I'd have an adequate answer.
I don't believe you can prove the existence of God by quoting the Bible. For me understanding the Bible follows belief in God. I suppose there are folks who read the Bible and then believed, but that wasn't how it worked for me.
I certainly have read a lot of theology over the years, but that didn't lead me to believe in God either. It broadened my appreciation for the way different people have expressed their understandings of God.
To a certain extent I'm just your average run of the mill believer. I try to pattern my life after Christ. I keep my ears, mind and heart open to what God is trying to tell me. I keep my eyes wide open to see the signs of God's presence in almost everything I see.
I don't know if that way of living out my faith will win anyone over to the God that I know through Christ. But it is the only way I know how to be.
Blessings,
Ed
While I don't have too many deep conversations with people about why I believe in God, especially with folk who are not inclined to believe it, I have to admit, I'm not sure I'd have an adequate answer.
I don't believe you can prove the existence of God by quoting the Bible. For me understanding the Bible follows belief in God. I suppose there are folks who read the Bible and then believed, but that wasn't how it worked for me.
I certainly have read a lot of theology over the years, but that didn't lead me to believe in God either. It broadened my appreciation for the way different people have expressed their understandings of God.
To a certain extent I'm just your average run of the mill believer. I try to pattern my life after Christ. I keep my ears, mind and heart open to what God is trying to tell me. I keep my eyes wide open to see the signs of God's presence in almost everything I see.
I don't know if that way of living out my faith will win anyone over to the God that I know through Christ. But it is the only way I know how to be.
Blessings,
Ed
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Reflections for 12/29/10
"We must go to the edges and discover what the questions really are, what true success is, and we must face our own failure."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p.34)
There is a quote from the Apollo 13 Space Mission "failure is not an option." I suppose that when it comes to matters of life and death, failure shouldn't be an option. However in a good chunk of life failure often is a reality.
The longer I avoid failure, the more catastrophic it will be personally. When we've only known success, we won't know how to learn from failure. Watch people who've spent all their lives either always winning, when they actually lose, they do not know what to do.
The only other way to avoid failure of course is to never try at all. Although I would argue that in and of itself is failure. We cannot truly know the right answer, or what success really looks like until we have tried and failed.
As I look back on my own life, I can't even say for sure that I'm batting .500 when it comes to success/failure. What I do know is that I have failed I usually can see quite well what went wrong, and have even from time to time be able to learn and grow from those experiences. There are of course also other failures which will have to remain just that. But knowing what failure looks like, I have a real appreciation for when things truly go right.
Blessings,
Ed
There is a quote from the Apollo 13 Space Mission "failure is not an option." I suppose that when it comes to matters of life and death, failure shouldn't be an option. However in a good chunk of life failure often is a reality.
The longer I avoid failure, the more catastrophic it will be personally. When we've only known success, we won't know how to learn from failure. Watch people who've spent all their lives either always winning, when they actually lose, they do not know what to do.
The only other way to avoid failure of course is to never try at all. Although I would argue that in and of itself is failure. We cannot truly know the right answer, or what success really looks like until we have tried and failed.
As I look back on my own life, I can't even say for sure that I'm batting .500 when it comes to success/failure. What I do know is that I have failed I usually can see quite well what went wrong, and have even from time to time be able to learn and grow from those experiences. There are of course also other failures which will have to remain just that. But knowing what failure looks like, I have a real appreciation for when things truly go right.
Blessings,
Ed
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Reflections for 12/28/10
"There's a phrase that has become common in the world of theology today: The preferential option for the poor. It means God is biased towards the poor, toward those who live in unjust situations. Some people think this is some strange new theology."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 33)
I first heard this term in seminary in the early '90's. It comes out of the liberation theology movement, which my seminary loves.
While I understand what it is saying, I do have some questions. How does this jive with the idea that "God shows no partiality." Of course there are also plenty of places where scripture pushes care for the poor to the forefront. The song of Mary comes to mind.
I understand that some will tune out the notion because it comes to the forefront from Liberation Theology. I'm not quite ready to dismiss it.
I do believe that God points us towards caring for the poor and needy in our midst. I do believe that God also wants us to notice the poverty deep within ourselves, that also needs God.
Blessings,
Ed
I first heard this term in seminary in the early '90's. It comes out of the liberation theology movement, which my seminary loves.
While I understand what it is saying, I do have some questions. How does this jive with the idea that "God shows no partiality." Of course there are also plenty of places where scripture pushes care for the poor to the forefront. The song of Mary comes to mind.
I understand that some will tune out the notion because it comes to the forefront from Liberation Theology. I'm not quite ready to dismiss it.
I do believe that God points us towards caring for the poor and needy in our midst. I do believe that God also wants us to notice the poverty deep within ourselves, that also needs God.
Blessings,
Ed
Monday, December 27, 2010
Reflections for 12/27/10
"St. John was secure , enough in his masculinity and comfortable enough with the community of the twelve male apostles to put his head on the breast of Jesus and not be ashamed or afraid. Most of us would consider that emotionally, if not socially, impossible. We are so homophobic! We're so afraid either within or with without, of what everyone will think if a man ever shows affection for another man."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p.33)
In our society today, one of the biggest culture wars going on revolves around human sexuality. It has certainly been boiling for a long time, but it really has been in the forefront the last 10 to 20 years.
By now most of us know personally someone who is gay or lesbian. It certainly is no longer the "love that knows no name." While there are still folks who are violently opposed to homosexuals, most folks that I've met are more of who really cares.
As the parent of a two teenage boys, I'm not concerned whether they might be homosexual or not. If they are there is absolutely nothing I could do about it, even if I wanted to. They would still be my sons and I would still love them. I would hope that the more virulent homophobia would lessen if they were.
But I do listen to them throw the word "gay" around and I'd like to see them stop.
For my grandparents generation the word gay meant happy. Norman Vincent Peale in his book "The Power of Positive Thinking" wrote about riding on a train and going into the men's shaving car and everyone was having a gay time. When I read that book in my era, it had a different meaning than originally intended. Remember the Flintstones would have "a gay old time." But the word changed. My sons will from time to time say, "that's so gay." What they mean is that they don't like it. I have to keep reminding them that to say something is gay, when you don't mean it sexually but you do mean it negatively is wrong. Find a different word. They do know gay and lesbian people, whom they like and care about. Why would you want to say something that would be hurtful to them.
I do realize that when we are in the midst of a cultural shift, the language we use has to be better thought out. The word "gay" is one example. There are lots of other words being thrown around these days in our debates politically and socially that are just as irresponsible.
Blessings,
Ed
In our society today, one of the biggest culture wars going on revolves around human sexuality. It has certainly been boiling for a long time, but it really has been in the forefront the last 10 to 20 years.
By now most of us know personally someone who is gay or lesbian. It certainly is no longer the "love that knows no name." While there are still folks who are violently opposed to homosexuals, most folks that I've met are more of who really cares.
As the parent of a two teenage boys, I'm not concerned whether they might be homosexual or not. If they are there is absolutely nothing I could do about it, even if I wanted to. They would still be my sons and I would still love them. I would hope that the more virulent homophobia would lessen if they were.
But I do listen to them throw the word "gay" around and I'd like to see them stop.
For my grandparents generation the word gay meant happy. Norman Vincent Peale in his book "The Power of Positive Thinking" wrote about riding on a train and going into the men's shaving car and everyone was having a gay time. When I read that book in my era, it had a different meaning than originally intended. Remember the Flintstones would have "a gay old time." But the word changed. My sons will from time to time say, "that's so gay." What they mean is that they don't like it. I have to keep reminding them that to say something is gay, when you don't mean it sexually but you do mean it negatively is wrong. Find a different word. They do know gay and lesbian people, whom they like and care about. Why would you want to say something that would be hurtful to them.
I do realize that when we are in the midst of a cultural shift, the language we use has to be better thought out. The word "gay" is one example. There are lots of other words being thrown around these days in our debates politically and socially that are just as irresponsible.
Blessings,
Ed
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Reflections for 12/26/10
"We thought solidarity was being nice and affirming, but ultimately it's to stay in there with brokenness and let it lead you where it will, and to be willing to pay the price."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p.32)
Many of you may recall the Solidarity movement in Poland. It certainly was a movement that started the end of the Soviet Block. It was interesting to watch as a younger person from the safety of the American shores as they fought against the government that was oppressing them.
I wouldn't say that I did much beyond admire from afar, however. There are certainly folks that I feel some level of solidarity with in the world today. Folks who are in nursing homes, young people, the poor. Folks for whom my ministry encounters regularly.
But how much of my own comfort zone am I willing to risk on behalf of those folks? Or have I developed a solidarity that is akin to being "with you in prayer." Basically saying I'm not as with you as I could be.
Most of us know where our sympathies and empathy's lie. I wonder how many of us would be willing to risk it all to be in solidarity with those whom the rest of the world wants to ignore or attack?
I do believe that most of us would be there for folks close to us. How far those boundaries can extend is really up to us.
Blessings,
Ed
Many of you may recall the Solidarity movement in Poland. It certainly was a movement that started the end of the Soviet Block. It was interesting to watch as a younger person from the safety of the American shores as they fought against the government that was oppressing them.
I wouldn't say that I did much beyond admire from afar, however. There are certainly folks that I feel some level of solidarity with in the world today. Folks who are in nursing homes, young people, the poor. Folks for whom my ministry encounters regularly.
But how much of my own comfort zone am I willing to risk on behalf of those folks? Or have I developed a solidarity that is akin to being "with you in prayer." Basically saying I'm not as with you as I could be.
Most of us know where our sympathies and empathy's lie. I wonder how many of us would be willing to risk it all to be in solidarity with those whom the rest of the world wants to ignore or attack?
I do believe that most of us would be there for folks close to us. How far those boundaries can extend is really up to us.
Blessings,
Ed
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Reflections for 12/25/10
"The incarnation of Jesus demonstrates that God meets us where we are. It assures us that we do not have to leave the world or relignquish our humanity in order to know God, but simly that we must turn from evil."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p.31)
God meeting me where I am. As someone for whom faith has been a life long adventure, I understand this. As a child God met me in the stories of scripture, in the mystery of worship, in being an acolyte, singing in the choir. Saw that shy little boy, with the coke bottle glasses, who just wanted to be liked, and loved him.
God met me as a teenager, not as a rebel, but as someone who had walls built that needed to be broken down. Who said the image your presenting is not who I called you to be.
God met me in college, and said I'm sending you away from all you've ever known, however, I will give you a faith community and a new set of friends to journey with. And the person I really am started to emerge.
God continues to meet me as an adult. With each new challenge, each change in circumstance, promising that I will be given no task that I cannot handle, and the strength and skill to do it.
Perhaps the greatest Christmas gift for me has always been the presence of God in my life.
Blessings,
Ed
God meeting me where I am. As someone for whom faith has been a life long adventure, I understand this. As a child God met me in the stories of scripture, in the mystery of worship, in being an acolyte, singing in the choir. Saw that shy little boy, with the coke bottle glasses, who just wanted to be liked, and loved him.
God met me as a teenager, not as a rebel, but as someone who had walls built that needed to be broken down. Who said the image your presenting is not who I called you to be.
God met me in college, and said I'm sending you away from all you've ever known, however, I will give you a faith community and a new set of friends to journey with. And the person I really am started to emerge.
God continues to meet me as an adult. With each new challenge, each change in circumstance, promising that I will be given no task that I cannot handle, and the strength and skill to do it.
Perhaps the greatest Christmas gift for me has always been the presence of God in my life.
Blessings,
Ed
Friday, December 24, 2010
Reflections for 12/24/10
"Tonight Jesus enters Bethlehem as a stranger, as refugee, as outsider. Can we make room in our overstuffed inn?"(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p.29)
Today I finished the last of the secular aspects of Christmas, few more presents bought, one last run to the supermarket. Even got a workout in the gym. In a few hours I'll head over to church for the first of two services this evening.
I've always loved Christmas Eve. I love the hymns, the familiar Gospel story. The anticipation of waking up the next morning (though admittedly that is waning).
And as I reflect on all the manic last minute activity I witnessed today, and really that's been going on for a while, it is hard to imagine how we have any room in our inns either.
And yet isn't the real reason for all of this to make room for the Christ. To ponder along with Mary what all these greetings are about. So I'll come tonight and adore him. I'll listen for the Christmas Angels with their great glad tiding to tell. I don't know if it will be a Silent night.
And perhaps in all of the hubub, Christmas will come once more.
Blessings,
Ed
Today I finished the last of the secular aspects of Christmas, few more presents bought, one last run to the supermarket. Even got a workout in the gym. In a few hours I'll head over to church for the first of two services this evening.
I've always loved Christmas Eve. I love the hymns, the familiar Gospel story. The anticipation of waking up the next morning (though admittedly that is waning).
And as I reflect on all the manic last minute activity I witnessed today, and really that's been going on for a while, it is hard to imagine how we have any room in our inns either.
And yet isn't the real reason for all of this to make room for the Christ. To ponder along with Mary what all these greetings are about. So I'll come tonight and adore him. I'll listen for the Christmas Angels with their great glad tiding to tell. I don't know if it will be a Silent night.
And perhaps in all of the hubub, Christmas will come once more.
Blessings,
Ed
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Reflections for 12/23/10
"It takes a prophet of sorts one who has traveled the highway before and remembers everything, to guide us beyond our blind, selective remembering. Choose your friends carefully and listen to those who speak truth to you, who help you remember all things, 'so that you may value the things that really matter, up to the very day of Christ.'(Philippians 1:10)"(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 27)
I certainly am blessed with many friends. All of them are important to me in one way or another. My best friend is of course my wife. There isn't anything I wouldn't tell her, and I'd be hard pressed to think of anything she doesn't know about me. Though I suppose in any marriage, the couple always discovers something new, hopefully it is something positive.
There are also two friends who fit the above description very well. I am able to share with them in ways that I wouldn't normally do. I believe I am able to be the same sort of friend to them as well. We don't have to choose our words carefully when we're together. There is not topic off limits, and I value their opinions and observations.
I also know that my relationship with God is similar in that I can tell God anything. I doubt that God turns to me for advice. But I'm happy that God's ear is lended to me.
Who in your life is that close a friend? Do you have someone who the conversations and presence is truly a two way street? If not where do you turn? Even if we are blessed with that type of earthly friend, if faith is important to us, then God can be that friend also.
As the Christmas season approaches, why not give thanks for those friendships that nurture and sustain us.
Blessings,
Ed
I certainly am blessed with many friends. All of them are important to me in one way or another. My best friend is of course my wife. There isn't anything I wouldn't tell her, and I'd be hard pressed to think of anything she doesn't know about me. Though I suppose in any marriage, the couple always discovers something new, hopefully it is something positive.
There are also two friends who fit the above description very well. I am able to share with them in ways that I wouldn't normally do. I believe I am able to be the same sort of friend to them as well. We don't have to choose our words carefully when we're together. There is not topic off limits, and I value their opinions and observations.
I also know that my relationship with God is similar in that I can tell God anything. I doubt that God turns to me for advice. But I'm happy that God's ear is lended to me.
Who in your life is that close a friend? Do you have someone who the conversations and presence is truly a two way street? If not where do you turn? Even if we are blessed with that type of earthly friend, if faith is important to us, then God can be that friend also.
As the Christmas season approaches, why not give thanks for those friendships that nurture and sustain us.
Blessings,
Ed
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Reflections for 12/22/10
"Memory is the basis of both pain and rejoicing: We cannot have one without the other."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 26)
Last night I went to my son's first dual meet of the wrestling season. My parents were also in attendance. During the match my mom asked me if I missed wrestling. And I had to admit that I did. The memories of it contain both pain and rejoicing.
When I reflect back on that time, I can remember those few times that I actually won a match. I can also remember coming very close to being part of a team that almost won the championship, by the way that is also a painful memory.
I know that if I could go back in time, I would do things very differently, not only with wrestling but with many things. Yet while I can remember the choices that I've made that didn't turn out so good, or were very painful at the time, I can see in hindsight where I've grown from those experiences.
I also know that I have many memories of rejoicing. Where things went very well. Where something occurred that really made me happy.
While both types of memories exist for all of us, which we choose to allow to dominate our presents and to shape our futures. While I won't ignore the painful memories and pretend like they never happened, I won't allow them to dictate who I am. And I will certainly turn back to the good memories, when I'm feeling down.
Blessings,
Ed
Last night I went to my son's first dual meet of the wrestling season. My parents were also in attendance. During the match my mom asked me if I missed wrestling. And I had to admit that I did. The memories of it contain both pain and rejoicing.
When I reflect back on that time, I can remember those few times that I actually won a match. I can also remember coming very close to being part of a team that almost won the championship, by the way that is also a painful memory.
I know that if I could go back in time, I would do things very differently, not only with wrestling but with many things. Yet while I can remember the choices that I've made that didn't turn out so good, or were very painful at the time, I can see in hindsight where I've grown from those experiences.
I also know that I have many memories of rejoicing. Where things went very well. Where something occurred that really made me happy.
While both types of memories exist for all of us, which we choose to allow to dominate our presents and to shape our futures. While I won't ignore the painful memories and pretend like they never happened, I won't allow them to dictate who I am. And I will certainly turn back to the good memories, when I'm feeling down.
Blessings,
Ed
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Reflections for 12/21/10
"{John the Baptist} goes on his vision quest into the desert where he faces his aloneness, boredom and naked self. He returns with a message, a clarity, a surety of heat that reveals a totally surrendered man. First he lsitens long and self-forgetfully; then he speaks, acts and accepts the consequences. Surely he is the ultimate wild man! Or is it wise man? He is both"(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 25)
John the Baptist is not the first Biblical character that I relate to. Camel Hair clothing, eh, I can't even wear a wool sweater without itching. Eating locusts and wild honey, eh, I like to eat, but even I have my limits. A prophetic voice? I've never seen myself in that role.
Looking at what Fr. Rohr says about him, I have a hard time being alone, even when I claim I want to be alone. But perhaps that confrontation is what I need. I do feel alone, not unloved, but alone. I do get bored and have to fight it all the time. And looking at the real me is sometimes more than I can stand.]
Perhaps I avoid those "desert journeys" because I'm afraid of what I might find out. If I listen too long, I might not like what I hear. Would I return from such a journey with a stronger voice, a real desire to act and an abililty to accept wherever the chips may fall.
I'm not nearly as wild and crazy as I sometimes act. I'm not even sure how much wisdom I have to impart, I often think I'm a wise guy in the wrong way. But that "desert time" might show me how to live fully into a wild side that is free without being nuts, and the wise side that is thinking more than speaking.
Blessings,
Ed
John the Baptist is not the first Biblical character that I relate to. Camel Hair clothing, eh, I can't even wear a wool sweater without itching. Eating locusts and wild honey, eh, I like to eat, but even I have my limits. A prophetic voice? I've never seen myself in that role.
Looking at what Fr. Rohr says about him, I have a hard time being alone, even when I claim I want to be alone. But perhaps that confrontation is what I need. I do feel alone, not unloved, but alone. I do get bored and have to fight it all the time. And looking at the real me is sometimes more than I can stand.]
Perhaps I avoid those "desert journeys" because I'm afraid of what I might find out. If I listen too long, I might not like what I hear. Would I return from such a journey with a stronger voice, a real desire to act and an abililty to accept wherever the chips may fall.
I'm not nearly as wild and crazy as I sometimes act. I'm not even sure how much wisdom I have to impart, I often think I'm a wise guy in the wrong way. But that "desert time" might show me how to live fully into a wild side that is free without being nuts, and the wise side that is thinking more than speaking.
Blessings,
Ed
Monday, December 20, 2010
Reflections for 12/20/10
"People are odd creatures: We are at the same time very good and very sinful. These qualities do not cancel each other out. Faith is to live and to hold onto that paradox."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 23)
Sometimes I wish I was just 100% something. I feel like most of my existence is contradiction, though paradox is probably more accurate. There seem to be so many paradoxes with me,that I am often left wondering who I am.
Actually the real problem is that I believe there exists a stereotype of what a priest is. And I'm sure that I don't fit that stereotype. It is probably true for just about any occupation. And when we don't feel the stereotype is us, it gets confusing. Maybe we'll try to become that person, usually with disastrous results.
The healthier approach may be to fully understand the paradoxical nature of being human. It seems that it may be an important component of being made in the image of God.
There are so many paradoxical images of what God is and does, and that's just in the Bible. Yet that very paradox, what seems on the surface to be an inconsistency in Divine, is perhaps what makes God so compelling for me.
If I can live with the paradoxical nature of God, I should probably give myself the same benefit of faith.
Blessings,
Ed
Sometimes I wish I was just 100% something. I feel like most of my existence is contradiction, though paradox is probably more accurate. There seem to be so many paradoxes with me,that I am often left wondering who I am.
Actually the real problem is that I believe there exists a stereotype of what a priest is. And I'm sure that I don't fit that stereotype. It is probably true for just about any occupation. And when we don't feel the stereotype is us, it gets confusing. Maybe we'll try to become that person, usually with disastrous results.
The healthier approach may be to fully understand the paradoxical nature of being human. It seems that it may be an important component of being made in the image of God.
There are so many paradoxical images of what God is and does, and that's just in the Bible. Yet that very paradox, what seems on the surface to be an inconsistency in Divine, is perhaps what makes God so compelling for me.
If I can live with the paradoxical nature of God, I should probably give myself the same benefit of faith.
Blessings,
Ed
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Reflections for 12/19/10
"Sit by the stream, on the edge. Don't let the ego try to fix, control, categorize or ensure any of your experience. The ego wants to ensure that things are significant, that events make us important. Our activities become little righteousness trips, and we stand on our certitude."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p.23)
I have to admit I do spend a lot of time trying to understand my experiences. I certainly try to fix them, usually only mentally, by replaying how I might have done it differently. Pretty much a waste of time and energy, because I can't change those things. I also do like to control my experiences, but that can lead to avoiding an experience I'm supposed to have. And certainly categorizing happens all the time. Something was either fantastic or painful, or some other adjective. It rarely just is.
And that is the invitation that I see myself fighting all the time. Will I ever just live and let live. Can I just enjoy the moment for whatever purpose it was meant to serve. I'd love to believe that everything I do is super important, yet most of it isn't even newsworthy. Perhaps the grand sum of it all will amount to something, but I don't know.
The righteousness trip that I can see myself on is one needing affirmation in what I do. And a belief that I am right in what I do. The problem is I probably won't get nearly any of the affirmation I long for, and in there are even bound to be times that I'm just flat out wrong.
And perhaps if I would give up on all those negative things about experience that the Fr. Rohr speaks of and just live in the moment and enjoy it for what it has to offer at the time, I'd be a lot happier.
Blessings,
Ed
I have to admit I do spend a lot of time trying to understand my experiences. I certainly try to fix them, usually only mentally, by replaying how I might have done it differently. Pretty much a waste of time and energy, because I can't change those things. I also do like to control my experiences, but that can lead to avoiding an experience I'm supposed to have. And certainly categorizing happens all the time. Something was either fantastic or painful, or some other adjective. It rarely just is.
And that is the invitation that I see myself fighting all the time. Will I ever just live and let live. Can I just enjoy the moment for whatever purpose it was meant to serve. I'd love to believe that everything I do is super important, yet most of it isn't even newsworthy. Perhaps the grand sum of it all will amount to something, but I don't know.
The righteousness trip that I can see myself on is one needing affirmation in what I do. And a belief that I am right in what I do. The problem is I probably won't get nearly any of the affirmation I long for, and in there are even bound to be times that I'm just flat out wrong.
And perhaps if I would give up on all those negative things about experience that the Fr. Rohr speaks of and just live in the moment and enjoy it for what it has to offer at the time, I'd be a lot happier.
Blessings,
Ed
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Reflections for 12/18/10
"The only way that we become convinced of our own sense of empowerment and the power of the Spirit and the truth of the Gospel is by crossing a line- a line of decision, testing, risking doing and owning the consequences."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p.22)
The thought of crossing a line is a very frightening one, at least for me. There are of course lines that shouldn't be crossed, but I wonder how many fences I've erected over the years protecting myself against crossing a line that should be crossed.
Often heeding a call involves a lot of decisions, testings, riskings etc. The first decision is always am I willing to risk doing, am I willing to take the test, am I willing to own the consequences. It is usually the onslaught of those questions that stops me in my tracks. I'm not a risk taker, though often I wish I were. I don't like tests. And I sure do not like negative consequences.
But when fear of all of those things keeps me from doing the very things I need to do, I am not living up to my role as a beloved child of God.
We don't live in anything goes world. Thought should be put into most actions. But being afraid to even ask the question and thereby doing nothing, and constantly playing it safe, does nothing except keep us stuck.
Blessings,
Ed
The thought of crossing a line is a very frightening one, at least for me. There are of course lines that shouldn't be crossed, but I wonder how many fences I've erected over the years protecting myself against crossing a line that should be crossed.
Often heeding a call involves a lot of decisions, testings, riskings etc. The first decision is always am I willing to risk doing, am I willing to take the test, am I willing to own the consequences. It is usually the onslaught of those questions that stops me in my tracks. I'm not a risk taker, though often I wish I were. I don't like tests. And I sure do not like negative consequences.
But when fear of all of those things keeps me from doing the very things I need to do, I am not living up to my role as a beloved child of God.
We don't live in anything goes world. Thought should be put into most actions. But being afraid to even ask the question and thereby doing nothing, and constantly playing it safe, does nothing except keep us stuck.
Blessings,
Ed
Friday, December 17, 2010
Reflections for 12/17/10
"We think life is the thing that we've got to protect. Jesus' saying, No, the true self needs no protection. It just is; What we are usually protecting is the repetitive illusions and addictive feelings of the false self." (R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 22)
One of the greatest struggles, at least for me, has always been to see the real me. What is even more interesting as I self examine is to see how little protecting of myself I do.
There is a part of me that is deeply faithful and spiritual, but I don't make a huge display of it. My faith literally just is. I've never sought applause for it, or felt I needed to justify or defend it.
There is a part of me that loves deeply intellectual conversations. But I don't participate so that others will say, boy isn't he smart, but because I enjoy the topics.
There is a part of me that loves to clown around. Mainly because I'd rather have fun, or at least make something mundane enjoyable.
There is also a part of me that's actually shy. That's probably the part that doesn't get out much. I doubt you'd find too many folks who know me who would use that word to describe me.
I've been told that with me what you see is what you get. If that's true I hope I'm showing something positive. But if it's nothing but a wall to keep the real me from being shown, I may want to reevaluate.
Blessings,
Ed
One of the greatest struggles, at least for me, has always been to see the real me. What is even more interesting as I self examine is to see how little protecting of myself I do.
There is a part of me that is deeply faithful and spiritual, but I don't make a huge display of it. My faith literally just is. I've never sought applause for it, or felt I needed to justify or defend it.
There is a part of me that loves deeply intellectual conversations. But I don't participate so that others will say, boy isn't he smart, but because I enjoy the topics.
There is a part of me that loves to clown around. Mainly because I'd rather have fun, or at least make something mundane enjoyable.
There is also a part of me that's actually shy. That's probably the part that doesn't get out much. I doubt you'd find too many folks who know me who would use that word to describe me.
I've been told that with me what you see is what you get. If that's true I hope I'm showing something positive. But if it's nothing but a wall to keep the real me from being shown, I may want to reevaluate.
Blessings,
Ed
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Reflections for 12/16/10
"When we see what the gospel demands of our lives, we may not even want to understand it."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 21)
One of many things that I love about reading the Bible is how I usually will find something new or understand a text in a new way. This is of course because the world in which I live, move and have my being changes. What's going on in my life at the time dramatically impacts what scripture says to me. What might not have been a challenging text 20 years ago, might be just what I need to be confronted by now. Perhaps that's why we say it is a "living word."
I'm also fascinated by how others see scripture and apply it to their lives. The best bible studies for me are the ones where there is a lot of sharing about the text and not me or some other leader telling folks what it means. Another part that's fascinating is to see what people think is truly important in scripture. What are the verses they feel are the be all and end all. That their salvation completely rests on. I then love to point them to some parts of the bible that might actually have something to say to them, and then they don't want the bible telling them what to do. By the way, its usually the ones about money.
Most of us probably would run the other way if confronted by all of scripture and not just the parts we like. Perhaps that's why scripture tells that we fall into the arms of a merciful God.
Blessings,
Ed
One of many things that I love about reading the Bible is how I usually will find something new or understand a text in a new way. This is of course because the world in which I live, move and have my being changes. What's going on in my life at the time dramatically impacts what scripture says to me. What might not have been a challenging text 20 years ago, might be just what I need to be confronted by now. Perhaps that's why we say it is a "living word."
I'm also fascinated by how others see scripture and apply it to their lives. The best bible studies for me are the ones where there is a lot of sharing about the text and not me or some other leader telling folks what it means. Another part that's fascinating is to see what people think is truly important in scripture. What are the verses they feel are the be all and end all. That their salvation completely rests on. I then love to point them to some parts of the bible that might actually have something to say to them, and then they don't want the bible telling them what to do. By the way, its usually the ones about money.
Most of us probably would run the other way if confronted by all of scripture and not just the parts we like. Perhaps that's why scripture tells that we fall into the arms of a merciful God.
Blessings,
Ed
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Reflections for 12/15/10
"Many of our people create for themselves a permanently maintained happiness in the midst of so much public suffering. That state is based on an illusion about the nature of reality. It can only work if we block ourselves from a certain degree of that reality. That's what's meant by denial."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 20)
Generally speaking I consider myself a happy person. On most days I love my family, my job, even myself. There are of course moments when those three create some angst for me, but I muddle my way through.
Now when you compound those days with the onslaught of news and just the regular pastoral crisis' that show up, it is hard to maintain that happiness. I do find that one way to keep my emotional equilibrium is through prayer. I can't solve all the world's problems, but I can ask for the strength to take care of those things which are within my control. What I'm not invited to do is ask to be shielded from the suffering. To have spiritual blinders put on so that I don't have to face the fact that not everything in the world is as it could or should be.
I won't deny that I still see aspects of racism, sexism and heterosexism occurring in sometimes subtle and sometimes not so subtle ways. The question becomes will I have the courage to name these when they occur in my presence, or do I just shrug it off.
Blessings,
Ed
Generally speaking I consider myself a happy person. On most days I love my family, my job, even myself. There are of course moments when those three create some angst for me, but I muddle my way through.
Now when you compound those days with the onslaught of news and just the regular pastoral crisis' that show up, it is hard to maintain that happiness. I do find that one way to keep my emotional equilibrium is through prayer. I can't solve all the world's problems, but I can ask for the strength to take care of those things which are within my control. What I'm not invited to do is ask to be shielded from the suffering. To have spiritual blinders put on so that I don't have to face the fact that not everything in the world is as it could or should be.
I won't deny that I still see aspects of racism, sexism and heterosexism occurring in sometimes subtle and sometimes not so subtle ways. The question becomes will I have the courage to name these when they occur in my presence, or do I just shrug it off.
Blessings,
Ed
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Reflections for 12/14/10
"Whenever you create a society that has to define itself by power and success, there will have to be those who are powerless and non-successful. And that's the vast majority of the people in our society. People in our society are set up to lose." (R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 19)
Go to any Little League Baseball game and you will see plenty of people who have dreams of being a big league player. In just about every walk of life there is a dream that floats just in front of our realities.
If it weren't for a certain level of dreams or fantasies, life would suck. Even in my profession there are levels of achievement that most Episcopal Clergy will never reach. The odds of me becoming a bishop are pretty small. Heck I'm not even sure I'd want to be one, but I won't say I've never thought about it. But if the only measure of a successful ministry was to attain that office, I and 99% of clergy will fail.
This constant comparative world that we live in can ultimately destroy a person. We'll never be as thin as that model. We'll probably not be whatever it is we're holding onto as the ideal.
One of the greatest things we can achieve I believe is a sense of acceptance for who we are, and what are gifts are, and how the world's standards do not have to be ours.
It is not easy to come to that place. Yet when I reflect on the great heroes of scripture and tradition, most of them would not have been seen as potentially successful either.
Blessings,
Ed
Go to any Little League Baseball game and you will see plenty of people who have dreams of being a big league player. In just about every walk of life there is a dream that floats just in front of our realities.
If it weren't for a certain level of dreams or fantasies, life would suck. Even in my profession there are levels of achievement that most Episcopal Clergy will never reach. The odds of me becoming a bishop are pretty small. Heck I'm not even sure I'd want to be one, but I won't say I've never thought about it. But if the only measure of a successful ministry was to attain that office, I and 99% of clergy will fail.
This constant comparative world that we live in can ultimately destroy a person. We'll never be as thin as that model. We'll probably not be whatever it is we're holding onto as the ideal.
One of the greatest things we can achieve I believe is a sense of acceptance for who we are, and what are gifts are, and how the world's standards do not have to be ours.
It is not easy to come to that place. Yet when I reflect on the great heroes of scripture and tradition, most of them would not have been seen as potentially successful either.
Blessings,
Ed
Monday, December 13, 2010
Reflections for 12/13/10
"I'm all for sexual morality, but Jesus does not say that's the issue. In fact, he says the prostitutes are getting into the Kingdom of God before some of us who have made bedfellows with power, prestige and possessions (see Matthew 21:31-32)Those three numb the heart and deaden the spirit, says Jesus." (R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 18)
While I won't say that Jesus didn't have something to say to prostitutes also, I would note that Christians spend an awful lot of spiritual energy worrying about the sexual exploits of others. I'm not sure if it is because we are so morally righteous, probably not. Or if we're just somewhat envious and living vicariously through the lives of others and then get mad when ours doesn't seem so wild.
But I do fully understand the idea that attempting to embrace power, prestige and possessions, is truly draining, numbing and deadly. The games that have to be played to appear to have gotten anywhere exact an amazing toll. It is easy to lose sight of what is truly important, who one's real friends are, and it seems quite easy to lose everything while trying to gain more.
Sometimes in my smaller moments I do wish that I had more power, though admittedly over myself first would be a good place to start. I sometimes wish I was as important as I think I ought to be, while missing and/or ignoring the places where I am valued. And I can get wrapped up in the what I don't have materially, instead of enjoying what I do.
Trying not to get caught up in the pursuit of those "3 P's" is really a spiritual battle. When I'm at peace with myself, I can sense the presence of God, saying, Ed, you don't have it that bad, knock it off.
Blessings,
Ed
While I won't say that Jesus didn't have something to say to prostitutes also, I would note that Christians spend an awful lot of spiritual energy worrying about the sexual exploits of others. I'm not sure if it is because we are so morally righteous, probably not. Or if we're just somewhat envious and living vicariously through the lives of others and then get mad when ours doesn't seem so wild.
But I do fully understand the idea that attempting to embrace power, prestige and possessions, is truly draining, numbing and deadly. The games that have to be played to appear to have gotten anywhere exact an amazing toll. It is easy to lose sight of what is truly important, who one's real friends are, and it seems quite easy to lose everything while trying to gain more.
Sometimes in my smaller moments I do wish that I had more power, though admittedly over myself first would be a good place to start. I sometimes wish I was as important as I think I ought to be, while missing and/or ignoring the places where I am valued. And I can get wrapped up in the what I don't have materially, instead of enjoying what I do.
Trying not to get caught up in the pursuit of those "3 P's" is really a spiritual battle. When I'm at peace with myself, I can sense the presence of God, saying, Ed, you don't have it that bad, knock it off.
Blessings,
Ed
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Reflections for 12/12/10
"Amen. Lord Jesus, come soon!"(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p.19)
Around this time of year, there are lots of parties. Every religion that I can think of has some winter time festival. So we invite friends and family to come. We rarely invite someone we hope won't come, though I suppose etiquette requires it.
Christians have been saying and hoping the above quote for thousands of years. The Revelation to John ends with that hopeful invitation. And while I recite through the creed the expectation of Jesus' coming again, I won't say that I go to bed disappointed that today wasn't the day.
I also know that the Bible is clear that I can't and won't know the day, and because of that I try to live each day with the expectation that today could be the day. I won't say that if he shows up today everything would be as I would like it to be.
So I'll keep living the Advent expectation of Jesus' second coming. And look forward to seeing anyone who chooses to come.
Blessings,
Ed
Around this time of year, there are lots of parties. Every religion that I can think of has some winter time festival. So we invite friends and family to come. We rarely invite someone we hope won't come, though I suppose etiquette requires it.
Christians have been saying and hoping the above quote for thousands of years. The Revelation to John ends with that hopeful invitation. And while I recite through the creed the expectation of Jesus' coming again, I won't say that I go to bed disappointed that today wasn't the day.
I also know that the Bible is clear that I can't and won't know the day, and because of that I try to live each day with the expectation that today could be the day. I won't say that if he shows up today everything would be as I would like it to be.
So I'll keep living the Advent expectation of Jesus' second coming. And look forward to seeing anyone who chooses to come.
Blessings,
Ed
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Reflection for 12/11/10
"Once we have met and accepted our inner opposite, there is nothing more to defend and nothing more to be afraid of."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 17)
I certainly do have a wide range of acquaintances. The more I look at the interests and backgrounds of people I associate with, I'm struck by the diversity of it all. I have friends that are older than me. I have friends that are younger than me. Our experiences growing up are different, and yet somewhat similar. I have friends that are female. I have non-Caucasian friends. I have friends that are homosexual. I have friends that are not Christian. I have friends that are conservative in their politics.
Why do I see these friendships as gifts from God? First because they help me to see and appreciate the world from a perspective that is not mine. I get a much fuller picture of the reality of living in our world. I also am able to see my own biases better and also to clarify what I believe, think and feel when I have those other viewpoints to compare with.
Many people stay away from folks who are not "just like them." How funny it is that in doing so it is usually from a defensive and fear filled position. While there may be some comfort in being surrounded by folks just like me, that's not the real world. I'm thankful for having grown up in a diverse community, though it wasn't always easy. I'm thankful for the diversity that I experienced in college and seminary, a lot of personal growth took place as a result. I continue to be thankful for adult friendships which continue to broaden my horizons.
Blessings,
Ed
I certainly do have a wide range of acquaintances. The more I look at the interests and backgrounds of people I associate with, I'm struck by the diversity of it all. I have friends that are older than me. I have friends that are younger than me. Our experiences growing up are different, and yet somewhat similar. I have friends that are female. I have non-Caucasian friends. I have friends that are homosexual. I have friends that are not Christian. I have friends that are conservative in their politics.
Why do I see these friendships as gifts from God? First because they help me to see and appreciate the world from a perspective that is not mine. I get a much fuller picture of the reality of living in our world. I also am able to see my own biases better and also to clarify what I believe, think and feel when I have those other viewpoints to compare with.
Many people stay away from folks who are not "just like them." How funny it is that in doing so it is usually from a defensive and fear filled position. While there may be some comfort in being surrounded by folks just like me, that's not the real world. I'm thankful for having grown up in a diverse community, though it wasn't always easy. I'm thankful for the diversity that I experienced in college and seminary, a lot of personal growth took place as a result. I continue to be thankful for adult friendships which continue to broaden my horizons.
Blessings,
Ed
Friday, December 10, 2010
Reflections for 12/10/10
"Grace comes when you stop being preoccupied and stop thinking that by your own meddling, managing, and manufacturing you can create it."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p.15)
There is a part of me that is a bit of a control freak. Ask my wife who gets to drive the car if we're in it together. While I don't micromanage, I'm not as good as I could be in sharing the work load.
Like most people I like to believe I'm in control, but boy when life throws me an ice patch, trouble starts to come. Yet the one thing that consistently seems to happen for me, is just when I feel I've lost control of a situation, when I've given up, that's when grace makes an appearance.
Perhaps grace has no chance of doing her thing, if I'm to busy trying to do my thing, which by the way is usually what got me into the predicament in the first place. I'm not saying that we should shirk all responsibility. That would be an excuse for laziness. But in those times when something is clearly not going the way we intened, we might be better off letting it go and see if grace has any interest in it.
Grace doesn't want or need our help. It needs us to be open to its possibilities and to let her do her work.
Blessings,
Ed
There is a part of me that is a bit of a control freak. Ask my wife who gets to drive the car if we're in it together. While I don't micromanage, I'm not as good as I could be in sharing the work load.
Like most people I like to believe I'm in control, but boy when life throws me an ice patch, trouble starts to come. Yet the one thing that consistently seems to happen for me, is just when I feel I've lost control of a situation, when I've given up, that's when grace makes an appearance.
Perhaps grace has no chance of doing her thing, if I'm to busy trying to do my thing, which by the way is usually what got me into the predicament in the first place. I'm not saying that we should shirk all responsibility. That would be an excuse for laziness. But in those times when something is clearly not going the way we intened, we might be better off letting it go and see if grace has any interest in it.
Grace doesn't want or need our help. It needs us to be open to its possibilities and to let her do her work.
Blessings,
Ed
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Reflections for 12/9/10
"I've never in my years as a Catholic Christian heard a sermon on the Tenth Commandment. we can't possibly preach on 'Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's goods' because Western society is based on that. It's called capitalism. mass advertising tells us we need things none of us need. It sows confusion about what's important for life. The level of need has moved to such a level of illusion and sophistication that what were once ultimate luxuries have become necessities. In our culture, people cannot feel good about themselves unless next year's vacation is more luxurious than last year's unless everything is upgraded-while most of God's people on this earth starve."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 14-15)
I have to admit, I too cannot recall ever hearing a sermon on the 10th commandment. I'm fairly certain that I have also never preached on the 10th commandment. I'd like to say it is because the lectionary doesn't cover it, but that's probably not true. It may be that as Fr. Rohr points out that may hit too close to home for most of those hearing it, and sadly it would hit too close to home for myself as well.
While I won't steal anything from my neighbor, it would not be true to say that I don't see what others have, at least materially, and not feel some level of envy. I watch enough TV to know that I'm bombarded with temptations to buy things I don't need, but they sure make me want it.
When I get into that covetousness it is amazing how negative the focus is, it becomes all about what I don't have. The sad part is I lose sight of what I do have. My car may not be the best, but it still runs. My TV may not be HD or 3D, but it still works. I may not have the smartest cell phone, but it makes calls. I may not be able to rent shore front property or hop on a plane to Europe, but I've loved my summer vacations with my family.
Certainly this time of year, covetousness rears its ugly head all to easily, how strange that the madness gets really going the day after we are supposed to give thanks.
Blessings,
Ed
I have to admit, I too cannot recall ever hearing a sermon on the 10th commandment. I'm fairly certain that I have also never preached on the 10th commandment. I'd like to say it is because the lectionary doesn't cover it, but that's probably not true. It may be that as Fr. Rohr points out that may hit too close to home for most of those hearing it, and sadly it would hit too close to home for myself as well.
While I won't steal anything from my neighbor, it would not be true to say that I don't see what others have, at least materially, and not feel some level of envy. I watch enough TV to know that I'm bombarded with temptations to buy things I don't need, but they sure make me want it.
When I get into that covetousness it is amazing how negative the focus is, it becomes all about what I don't have. The sad part is I lose sight of what I do have. My car may not be the best, but it still runs. My TV may not be HD or 3D, but it still works. I may not have the smartest cell phone, but it makes calls. I may not be able to rent shore front property or hop on a plane to Europe, but I've loved my summer vacations with my family.
Certainly this time of year, covetousness rears its ugly head all to easily, how strange that the madness gets really going the day after we are supposed to give thanks.
Blessings,
Ed
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Reflections for 12/8/10
"I'm a jail chaplain in Albuquerque. I'm delighted by the way I can preach to those guys in the jail. They don't have all of our sophistication, and they're not lost in worlds of words whereby everything is made vague. It's very clear to them what death is, very clear to them what's destroying people and how it's destroying people. There simply isn't a lot of self-protection in the psyche because their situations is forcing them to face reality."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p.13)
I am not a prison chaplain. I have however known people who have unfortunately landed in jail. I have visited two of them in prison, and have written three letters to judges on their behalf.
None of them have ever claimed innocence, or being framed. They didn't claim to be victims of the system. All of them acknowledged the horrible choice they had made and were willing to face the cost of that choice. If you were to have met any of them, you would not have seen them as your typical convict.
As I reflect back on their lives and what got them into trouble, there is a common theme. All of them had lost control of some part of their life, and in their desperation to find a way out of that valley period, they made a choice which turned out to be the wrong one.
While perhaps many of the choices we make when we are in valley periods of our lives will not lead to jail time, I wonder what keeps me from making that one wrong choice when I feel I'm at a place of no alternatives.
One thing may just be enough healthy fear to keep me from doing illegal. Perhaps another is having people to turn to and work through the issues and see truly viable alternative choices. Basically get a walking partner for that journey through the valley. And as a person of faith, to remember the words of Psalm 23, "yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me." 3/4 of those folks definitely had a faith to fall back on, but somehow lost sight of it.
I hope that I never get to such a low point, that I do not feel led to temptation.
Blessings,
Ed
I am not a prison chaplain. I have however known people who have unfortunately landed in jail. I have visited two of them in prison, and have written three letters to judges on their behalf.
None of them have ever claimed innocence, or being framed. They didn't claim to be victims of the system. All of them acknowledged the horrible choice they had made and were willing to face the cost of that choice. If you were to have met any of them, you would not have seen them as your typical convict.
As I reflect back on their lives and what got them into trouble, there is a common theme. All of them had lost control of some part of their life, and in their desperation to find a way out of that valley period, they made a choice which turned out to be the wrong one.
While perhaps many of the choices we make when we are in valley periods of our lives will not lead to jail time, I wonder what keeps me from making that one wrong choice when I feel I'm at a place of no alternatives.
One thing may just be enough healthy fear to keep me from doing illegal. Perhaps another is having people to turn to and work through the issues and see truly viable alternative choices. Basically get a walking partner for that journey through the valley. And as a person of faith, to remember the words of Psalm 23, "yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me." 3/4 of those folks definitely had a faith to fall back on, but somehow lost sight of it.
I hope that I never get to such a low point, that I do not feel led to temptation.
Blessings,
Ed
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Reflections for 12/7/10
"When nothing is forbidden, nothing is required. We are close to that today. I believe it what Thomas Merton predicted as 'organized despair.'"(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p.12)
I am a person who is quite comfortable with ambiguity. I'm also a habitual liver in the grays of life. I tend to shun either or choices. And I'm not a big fan of rules. But what I also have come to realize is that without any kind of framework in which to think, feel, and grow, I am basically stuck. I begin to lose any sense of who I am, what I'm supposed to be doing.
And sometimes when I see myself as lost and aimless, I see very clearly what the root cause of that despair is. The lack of a framework. I don't' recall ever living in a world of "thou shalt not." Yet without some sort of limit, how can I know when I've gone too far? I don't recall having any expectations placed upon me. And yet without any expectations, how am I supposed to know what I'm attempting to achieve?
I don't wish to become someone whose life is governed by hard fast rules. I do have a strong enough moral compass to know when something is truly wrong. And as an intuitive I can even see when something may not be wrong at that given moment, but no good will ever come of following that path. I don't wish to become a slave to tasks, but I would like to be able to set some goals, personally and professionally to get me moving.
I think there is something to those words "organized despair." It is that inner voice crying out for meaning, purpose and identity.
Blessings,
Ed
I am a person who is quite comfortable with ambiguity. I'm also a habitual liver in the grays of life. I tend to shun either or choices. And I'm not a big fan of rules. But what I also have come to realize is that without any kind of framework in which to think, feel, and grow, I am basically stuck. I begin to lose any sense of who I am, what I'm supposed to be doing.
And sometimes when I see myself as lost and aimless, I see very clearly what the root cause of that despair is. The lack of a framework. I don't' recall ever living in a world of "thou shalt not." Yet without some sort of limit, how can I know when I've gone too far? I don't recall having any expectations placed upon me. And yet without any expectations, how am I supposed to know what I'm attempting to achieve?
I don't wish to become someone whose life is governed by hard fast rules. I do have a strong enough moral compass to know when something is truly wrong. And as an intuitive I can even see when something may not be wrong at that given moment, but no good will ever come of following that path. I don't wish to become a slave to tasks, but I would like to be able to set some goals, personally and professionally to get me moving.
I think there is something to those words "organized despair." It is that inner voice crying out for meaning, purpose and identity.
Blessings,
Ed
Monday, December 6, 2010
Reflections for 12/6/10
"Without prayer, we social activists end up as ideologues. We're trapped in our heads, our opinions, our righteous selves. Maybe we'll be doing the right thin, but from an egocentric place, not a place of unitive consciousness, the place where all things are one. In other words, we'll be doing our own agenda instead of God's. As soon as we fail, you'll see the difference. That's why failure, rejection and humiliation are so important for us. They are the only things that tell us whether we're operating out of the center place, the place of prayer, or whether we're basically doing our own thing and calling it God's thin. When people are doing God's thing, they have freedom-they can laugh at themselves, they can take humiliation and non-success because their own reputation is not at stake. The mature believer will probably look more like a holy fool than a do-gooder or a 'saint.'" (R.Rohr "Radical Grace p. 11)
One of the questions that is often posed to me from people who do not come from any faith perspective is what the difference is between folks who fight for social justice issues on a secular level and those who fight for the same issues from a religious one. And for me, the answer is prayer.
I'll agree with Fr. Rohr that prayer first off at least gives me some time and space to figure out whether the action I'm contemplating is really a call from God, or more about me trying to look good. Prayer is also the place where I gain energy to advocate for the people and causes that speak to my understanding of what God calls me to do.
I also know that I'm on the right track when the success or failure of something will not make me focus on how I look. And that is very hard to do. I want to look good, I'm not particularly fond of rejection and failure. But if I allow those fears to take control then I'm probably barking up the wrong tree.
I also know that it is my relationship with God that keeps me from becoming an ideologue. I am a "liberal." I understand that to mean an openness to all information and the ability to sift through all of it and find the truth. Again doing much of it through prayer.
I'm thankful for a faith that opens my eyes to the world around me. That does not allow me to shut off from the problems of the day. And I'm also thankful for a faith that allows me to truly see where I'm called to risk.
Blessings,
Ed
One of the questions that is often posed to me from people who do not come from any faith perspective is what the difference is between folks who fight for social justice issues on a secular level and those who fight for the same issues from a religious one. And for me, the answer is prayer.
I'll agree with Fr. Rohr that prayer first off at least gives me some time and space to figure out whether the action I'm contemplating is really a call from God, or more about me trying to look good. Prayer is also the place where I gain energy to advocate for the people and causes that speak to my understanding of what God calls me to do.
I also know that I'm on the right track when the success or failure of something will not make me focus on how I look. And that is very hard to do. I want to look good, I'm not particularly fond of rejection and failure. But if I allow those fears to take control then I'm probably barking up the wrong tree.
I also know that it is my relationship with God that keeps me from becoming an ideologue. I am a "liberal." I understand that to mean an openness to all information and the ability to sift through all of it and find the truth. Again doing much of it through prayer.
I'm thankful for a faith that opens my eyes to the world around me. That does not allow me to shut off from the problems of the day. And I'm also thankful for a faith that allows me to truly see where I'm called to risk.
Blessings,
Ed
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Reflections for 12/5/10
"Many other forms of prayer we've been taught require thinking thoughts or saying and reading words. I'm not saying they're bad; they're obviously good. But we can do all of the above, think thoughts about Jesus and Mary, read the psalms or recite memorized prayers without transforming our consciousness. We do it in the old system. The ego is still in charge. It may not be conscious, but we think, 'I'm the center of the world. I have my feelings. I have my opinions and I, in this hardened silo, will think about Jesus."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p.10)
As an Episcopalian I will have to admit that a good chunk of my prayers are from the Book of Common Prayer. We get accused by other Christians of being so wedded to those words that we don't pray in the Spirit. I of course would counter that I heard more sermons that were advertised as prayers by those offering that critique.
But the criticism is somewhat valid. Granted they aren't my thoughts, they are someone else's, but they are still words. They keep me grounded and getting to long winded, but they don't invite me into the sheer silence.
To truly be engaged in a one one one with God, I need to let go of my to do list of things to remind about. To sit quietly and empty my mind of all my important stuff and just listen. It is in what I might hear in that silence where the transformative power of God is to be experienced.
I won't be letting go of Book of Common Prayer Worship. It works for me. But a nice addition is the more centering and contemplative prayer styles that are available to me as well.
Blessings,
Ed
As an Episcopalian I will have to admit that a good chunk of my prayers are from the Book of Common Prayer. We get accused by other Christians of being so wedded to those words that we don't pray in the Spirit. I of course would counter that I heard more sermons that were advertised as prayers by those offering that critique.
But the criticism is somewhat valid. Granted they aren't my thoughts, they are someone else's, but they are still words. They keep me grounded and getting to long winded, but they don't invite me into the sheer silence.
To truly be engaged in a one one one with God, I need to let go of my to do list of things to remind about. To sit quietly and empty my mind of all my important stuff and just listen. It is in what I might hear in that silence where the transformative power of God is to be experienced.
I won't be letting go of Book of Common Prayer Worship. It works for me. But a nice addition is the more centering and contemplative prayer styles that are available to me as well.
Blessings,
Ed
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Reflections for 12/4/10
"I have committed myself to joy. I have come to realize that those who make space for joy, those who prefer nothing to joy, those who desire the utter reality, will most assuredly have it."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p.9)
Most of us know something about commitments. I'm committed to my family, my friends, my church. I've lately become committed to my physical and mental health. I find keeping my commitments and working on them, is good for me and my outlook on life.
I would also add that I like this notion of a commitment to joy. It is partially for me a commitment to being happy. It is also a commitment that goes well beyond just the feeling of happiness. Joy is an ability to persevere even when the odds seem stacked against me. Joy is also for me a firm sense of the presence of God in and around me.
All of these commitments require me to make space and or time for them. I also find that joy is the one thing that weaves in and out of all the other commitments. I feel joy when I am most present with those commitments.
In this Advent Season, I'll continue to seek out joy whenever and wherever I can find it.
Blessings,
Ed
Most of us know something about commitments. I'm committed to my family, my friends, my church. I've lately become committed to my physical and mental health. I find keeping my commitments and working on them, is good for me and my outlook on life.
I would also add that I like this notion of a commitment to joy. It is partially for me a commitment to being happy. It is also a commitment that goes well beyond just the feeling of happiness. Joy is an ability to persevere even when the odds seem stacked against me. Joy is also for me a firm sense of the presence of God in and around me.
All of these commitments require me to make space and or time for them. I also find that joy is the one thing that weaves in and out of all the other commitments. I feel joy when I am most present with those commitments.
In this Advent Season, I'll continue to seek out joy whenever and wherever I can find it.
Blessings,
Ed
Friday, December 3, 2010
Reflections for 12/3/10
"We really need to be saved from the tyranny of our own judgments, opinions and feelings about everything, the 'undisciplined squads of emotions' that T.S. Eliot criticizes in his poetry. We must stop believing our false subjectivity that chooses to objectify everybody and everything else in the world-including God and our own soul. (Which is the likely reason why most Western individualists hate themselves. WE treat our own souls as objects to be dissected, judged and perfected.)"(R.Rohr "Radical Grace p.8)
I think its pretty rare when I don't actually have an opinion about something. What I've tried to do as I've gotten older is to learn when to share such opinions and when is it better to just let them stay where they originated.
I actually do try to have a positive opinion about most of what I have an opinion about, but of course there are things, and people and situations that I'm not so fond of.
I'm not a big fan of folks who come across as judgmental, for whom everything is framed in a negative. Of course I did just judge them, didn't I? What I find to be true that when I'm not feeling so great about myself, it is incredibly easy to start shooting off at the mouth. Everyone needs to know what Ed thinks.
The sad part in constantly sharing every opinion one has, is that eventually people stop listening. Which is unfortunate when you actually have something to say.
There are plenty of references in scripture to the tongue and the mouth, and how they get one in a lot of trouble. Regrettably I have found this to be all too true sometimes.
Blessings,
Ed
I think its pretty rare when I don't actually have an opinion about something. What I've tried to do as I've gotten older is to learn when to share such opinions and when is it better to just let them stay where they originated.
I actually do try to have a positive opinion about most of what I have an opinion about, but of course there are things, and people and situations that I'm not so fond of.
I'm not a big fan of folks who come across as judgmental, for whom everything is framed in a negative. Of course I did just judge them, didn't I? What I find to be true that when I'm not feeling so great about myself, it is incredibly easy to start shooting off at the mouth. Everyone needs to know what Ed thinks.
The sad part in constantly sharing every opinion one has, is that eventually people stop listening. Which is unfortunate when you actually have something to say.
There are plenty of references in scripture to the tongue and the mouth, and how they get one in a lot of trouble. Regrettably I have found this to be all too true sometimes.
Blessings,
Ed
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Reflections for 12/2/10
"The Church is not an end in itself; the Church is a means. The Kingdom is the end. And whenever we make the means into the end, we have created an idol. It is the major sin in the Bible-maybe the only one."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 7)
I'll have to admit that I've always liked Church. It is there that I encounter God most deeply. I do understand that encounters with the divine can happen outside of the walls of a church.
What I suppose I need to be careful of is not loving the church more than I love God. It is a danger, so many of us love our buildings that we risk forgetting why the building exists in the first place.
I do know that there are other aspects of my life that run a similar risk. Sometimes I wind up loving the journey more than the destination. I might enjoy doing the work more than completing the project.
I should always remember what the goal is. Sometimes there may be more than one means to achieving it. And while I always want to enjoy as much as possible the way that I get things done. I do need to get them done.
Blessings,
Ed
I'll have to admit that I've always liked Church. It is there that I encounter God most deeply. I do understand that encounters with the divine can happen outside of the walls of a church.
What I suppose I need to be careful of is not loving the church more than I love God. It is a danger, so many of us love our buildings that we risk forgetting why the building exists in the first place.
I do know that there are other aspects of my life that run a similar risk. Sometimes I wind up loving the journey more than the destination. I might enjoy doing the work more than completing the project.
I should always remember what the goal is. Sometimes there may be more than one means to achieving it. And while I always want to enjoy as much as possible the way that I get things done. I do need to get them done.
Blessings,
Ed
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Reflections for 12/1/10
"All false religion proceeds in a certain sense from one illusion: People say 'Thy Kingdom come' out of one side of their mouth, but they don't, out of the other side of their mouth, say, 'My kingdom go.' It happens when we try to have both of those kingdoms reign, when we say that the Lord is the lord of our lives, but in fact we're the lord of our own lives. When Jesus is not the Lord of our lives, we will most assuredly lord it over one another. That attitude has resulted in the domination, competition and unbelievable success agenda of much of Western civilization: Christians have sought to lord it over one another while saying they were submitting to the lordship of Jesus Christ."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 6)
Every time I pray the "Lord's Prayer" I bid "thy kingdom come, thy will be done." Yet I will have to admit that is a hard bidding to live out. In my mind I know theologically that I want the Kingdom of God to break through. Yet I probably do more to build up the fortress of Ed.
If faith were truly what pushed my reason to be, and informed my decisions, I have a feeling at least 1/2 of what I do would stop being done. If I were truly to let go of my own self interests, it would be a minor miracle.
I find it incredibly hard to live into that prayer. I can get just as caught up in the competition, the need to seem to be successful and the one upmanship games that get played regularly in our world.
I can't help but notice when others seem to be doing better than I. Yet the real question I should be asking is, am I being faithful to what I feel called to do?
It is incredibly easy to mouth proclamations about Jesus being in charge of my life. It is a very different matter to actually live into that statement.
Blessings,
Ed
Every time I pray the "Lord's Prayer" I bid "thy kingdom come, thy will be done." Yet I will have to admit that is a hard bidding to live out. In my mind I know theologically that I want the Kingdom of God to break through. Yet I probably do more to build up the fortress of Ed.
If faith were truly what pushed my reason to be, and informed my decisions, I have a feeling at least 1/2 of what I do would stop being done. If I were truly to let go of my own self interests, it would be a minor miracle.
I find it incredibly hard to live into that prayer. I can get just as caught up in the competition, the need to seem to be successful and the one upmanship games that get played regularly in our world.
I can't help but notice when others seem to be doing better than I. Yet the real question I should be asking is, am I being faithful to what I feel called to do?
It is incredibly easy to mouth proclamations about Jesus being in charge of my life. It is a very different matter to actually live into that statement.
Blessings,
Ed
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
