Reflections for 12/27/10

"St. John was secure , enough in his masculinity and comfortable enough with the community of the twelve male apostles to put his head on the breast of Jesus and not be ashamed or afraid. Most of us would consider that emotionally, if not socially, impossible. We are so homophobic! We're so afraid either  within or with without, of what everyone will think if a man ever shows affection for another man."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p.33)

In our society today, one of the biggest culture wars going on revolves around human sexuality.  It has certainly been boiling for a long time, but it really has been in the forefront the last 10 to 20 years.

By now most of us know personally someone who is gay or lesbian.  It certainly is no longer the "love that knows no name."  While there are still folks who are violently opposed to homosexuals, most folks that I've met are more of who really cares.

As the parent of a two teenage boys, I'm not concerned whether they might be homosexual or not.  If they are there is absolutely nothing I could do about it, even if I wanted to. They would still be my sons and I would still love them. I would hope that the more virulent homophobia would lessen if they were.

But I do listen to them throw the word "gay" around and I'd like to see them stop.
For my grandparents generation the word gay meant happy.  Norman Vincent Peale in his book "The Power of Positive Thinking" wrote about riding on a train and going into the men's shaving car and everyone was having a gay time. When I read that book in my era, it had a different meaning than originally intended.  Remember the Flintstones would have "a gay old time."  But the word changed. My sons will from time to time say, "that's so gay."  What they mean is that they don't like it.  I have to keep reminding them that to say something is gay, when you don't mean it sexually but you do mean it negatively is wrong. Find a different word. They do know gay and lesbian people, whom they like and care about. Why would you want to say something that would be hurtful to them.

I do realize that when we are in the midst of a cultural shift, the language we use has to be better thought out.  The word "gay" is one example. There are lots of other words being thrown around these days in our debates politically and socially that are just as irresponsible.

Blessings,
Ed