Reflections 6/27/10

"Allow the Lord, by his love and grace, to let you live in this moment. Right now. This moment is as perfect as it can be. And God's call, the needs of the world, will make itself very apparent. Just respond to the need that presents itself right in front of you, today, tomorrow."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 231)

I'm currently on vacation so I'm definitely living in each moment. So far it has been wonderful. Granted we've planned most of our activities, but there have been times of just enjoying the moment.

Outside of vacation, I do find that each day, God has something different in store for me. I don't need a plan of action, I just need to be ready to spring into action when the moment arrives.

Hopefully my vacation won't have any crisis moments, but will continue to have ones that I can live into and enjoy each day.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflections for 6/26/10

"We're laughed at by the practical ones of this world. They ask, What do you have to show for your work? We're fishing around. We're out enticing hearts and calling them into love. Ours is a catch hard to measure, and the product is never completed by the five o'clock whistle."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 231)

You priests have it easy, you only work on Sunday. Most of the time when someone says this I know I'm being ribbed, and that's alright, I can be a teaser too. But the work that I do is not really measurable. I find that when the church tries to apply business models to measure success/failure, most of us would wind up failing.

Sometimes I feel like I'm in a real life version of Mr. Holland's Opus. Where I'm not sure what I'm doing matters until the last concert.

I realize that on any given day, I may be doing something that matters more than other days.
But in the grand scheme of things my sales chart may not be huge, my indexes may seem to fluctuate. But the bottom line looks pretty good.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflections for 6/25/10

"So evil has found the breach in the wall and attacked each one of us there with "a thorn in the flesh, an angel of Satan'(2 Corinthians 12:7). Unfortunately it worked! Much of Christian tradition has been negatively and uselessly trapped in guilt and preoccupation with the body, while the great issues of justice, gospel and grace have gone unheeded. the result has been rigidity and repression-much of it called 'holiness'. This response has been Evil's greatest triumph over gospel freedom. It has horribly entrapped the positive power of human affection."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p.230)

While I am a firm believer in monogamy, I do believe the church and the world is preoccupied with sex. Either to the extreme of wanting to control and repress every aspect of intimacy or to have absolutely know boundaries or framework in which to develop a healthy and appreciative view of sex. Unlike the Victorians who couldn't talk about sex but could talk about death. We can't talk about death but certainly can about sex. What a strange flip, since both are part of the natural order of things.

When I see some "Christians", okay one small from Kansas, standing at funerals with signs proclaiming that God hates fags, I know that Satan has won. When I watch churches come unhinged over sexuality issues and distracted from real mission, I know that Satan is winning.

While I'm not advocating and cannot support a meat market mentality towards sex, I do wonder if a refocusing on the things that actually matter might be a better use of our time and talent.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflections for 6/24/10

"When we live realigned with our bodies and the natural world, when we have time for the soul, mind and Spirit, it becomes very hard to believe in a a merely random universe. Things are not just planned or accidental anymore, but a web of grace seems to unite all things into a symbiosis and synchronicity. It felt like forty-seven days of coincidences! It reaffirmed for me my long standing belief in Providence."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 229)

I leave tomorrow for vacation. I'm looking forward to some time away from work. Granted it won't be a relaxing trip, there's a lot of driving but I'm looking forward to showing my family some more of our beautiful world.

I'm hoping that the vacation will be stress free so much of it feels like things are falling into place to make it less stressful. As a believer, I can say that it feels like I'm supposed to have this vacation.

While a lot of the trip is planned, there will be things that I can't control. Hopefully those will all be pleasant surprises.

The build up to the trip has had more than one providential moment. Things that could have caused a derailment of the vacation, worked themselves out.

Here's hoping for some time to refresh and renew body, mind and Spirit.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflections for 6/23/10

"Perfection is not the elimination of imperfection. That's our Western either/or, need-to-control thinking. Perfection, rather, is the ability to incorporate imperfection! There's no other way to live. You either incorporate imperfection, or you fall into denial. That's how the Spirit moves in or out of our lives"(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 228)

The Bible of course says that we are to be perfect as our Father in heaven is perfect. Seems like a lofty goal to me. But perhaps like many things that involve God, how I understand perfection is not how God would. Much like measuring time.

There are certainly enough wrinkles in my everyday life that I've come to see that there are far better uses of my time than trying to iron out every one of them. Certainly any huge ones need attention, ones that truly distort the image of God that I bear. But the wrinkles are there to remind me to keep striving, and at the same time that I am not God.

The Spirit remains alive and moving within by helping me to live with my imperfections, to not waste time on them. It also allows me to accept the imperfections in others, rather than harping on the constantly.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflections for 6/22/10

"So many have found their total identity in their children or in one another. But you can't endlessly look at one another's eyes and hope to find eternity. Look together toward something you both believe and share in. That leads you out and beyond yourselves and into something new, wonderful and dangerous, into something that demands that you risk your love, that you risk0if I can say it -your marriage, to find out how much more life and how much more marriage God wants to give you. Each love opens us to what we really love. Each desire fulfilled helps us to seek further for what we are still desiring. Don't stop! Each love relationship is seducing us int the Relationship."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 226-227)

Some true statements: I am the dad of Mike and Peter. But that is not all that I am. I am Gail's husband. But that is not all that I am either. Those relationships are incredibly important to me. And I would be incomplete without them. But I would still exist.

If the whole definition of being me were tied into my role as parent, I would not only hurt me, but my children as well. They would never become anything other than Ed's kids. I am proud of their achievements, but they are not mine. I can be disappointed in their failures, but they are not mine. I have responsibilities towards them, but my chief role should be to create two people who do not need me to make every decision for them, and to feel that they are nothing without me.

If the whole definition of being me were tied into my role as husband, I would not only hurt me, but also my wife as well. How can a spouse become fully themselves if I cling to my image as the center of the universe? My hope is to share a life time of memories with my wife. To see life as an adventure shared.

All of our relationships combine to make up the whole of who God intended us to be. They also help us to reflect more fully the gift and beauty of that particular relationship.

Blessings,
Ed

Relfections for 6/21/10

"So many marriages are two people drawn together with unbelievably false expectations of one another and then frequently feeling the other has let them down or has hurt them. Some have no sense of themselves apart from the other. Some couples compete for self-worth at the expense of one another."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 226)

One of the readings often heard at weddings is I Corinthians 13, "love is patient, love is kind....."
While those are glorious words and have little to do with marriage, they do speak to what can make a marriage, love which is......

There is also the part towards the end, which say, "now I know only in part." I like to highlight that part in my standard wedding homily, because I believe it is important. Most married couples don't know everything about their partner. Overtime we make discoveries, hopefully pleasant ones, though not always.

No matter how good the premarital counseling is, it can be hard to get past the starry eyed love that we enter marriage in. I'm always pleasantly surprised when a couple has an aha moment in premarital that leads them to more open communication. Better to address it before the wedding than be unpleasantly surprised later.

I also believe that in any marriage there will be times when we feel let down or hurt, the question becomes do we nurse that hurt or do we seek reconciliation. A strong marriage knows how to say sorry and mean it.

I also have seen couples where one or both has no sense of self outside of being a couple. That is not good. The two may become "one flesh" but they are still two individuals, with needs, hopes and dreams. And when one is constantly subservient to the other, the unhealthy competition begins.

I would love to see every marriage be "til death do us part." While there is no guarantees, starting with realistic expectations and sense of who we are as individuals and as couple is a great place to start.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflections for 6/20/10

"I hope for more truth, more real edges and influence, more energy for the inward journey, more prophecy, more right-brain intuition, more adoration, more real security, more spiritual and political hope for the human heart-just big enough and strong enough 'fora ll the birds to come and shelter in its branches'(Matthew 13:19). But not so big that we forget, or do not need, or imagine that we are the only tree."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p.224-225)

The church that I serve as priest in is not huge. Yet it is also not small. We are in that tweener space. I certainly believe we are in a good place spiritually and financially. I think we are able to speak the truth in love with each other. I believe our horizons are expanding. I don't know how much influence we have. There certainly is energy and people are getting more attentive to their personal prayer lives.

Faith communities need more of the things that make for strong faith communities. We've spent too much time and spiritual energy believing that the only thing that matters is numerical growth.

I suppose there is a place for huge churches. They obviously fulfill a need. But I like a place where individuals matter more than programs. Yet at the same time, where every meeting is not about what bills to pay this month, and can we keep our doors open.

When we focus on mission, whatever growth is needed to fulfill that mission will occur.

And I believe that is true with any part of our lives. When we grow to big for our britches, we rarely are truly who we are called to be.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflections for 6/19/10

"We go around beating our breasts and feeling sinful, as if that were doing anything for God or humans! In truth it is a refusal to allow God to be merciful.
Chapter 22 of the Book of Revelation (the end of the Bible) eloquently expresses the mercy of God: These words are trustworthy and true! They are already fulfilled! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To anyone who thirst I will give drink without cost form the spring of life-giving water.
God will give water free! But humans always want to buy, earn or deserve."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 223-224)

Most of us know someone who sits around feeling sorry for themselves. Either beating themselves up or singing the woe is me song. You sometimes want to say get up get moving. You're not helping yourself or anyone else.

While I willingly participate in a weekly confession of sin, I don't dwell all week long on it. Instead I choose to accept God's mercy and forgiveness, and attempt to do better the next time.

But it is hard to accept free stuff, in spite of the phrase "if it's free it's for me." The things we often value are those that we've earned, paid for either with sweat or cash. And it is true that there is a feeling of accomplishment when we've worked hard at something and succeeded.

But there are times when we need to be gracious and accept things that are freely offered. Help from others, gifts, and God's grace. Those are the times when we should truly embrace the "if it's free it's for me." Rather than only when it is something we don't need.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflections for 6/18/10

"In Man of La Mancha we perceive a constant conflict between what is normally called reality and what Don Quixote called reality. Others call his reality idealism. He sets out for his reality at all costs and refuses to accept their sad definition of reality. The men with mirrors come up before him and try to force him to face up to what they call realism.

We find sometimes that what people call reality in fact blinds rather than illuminates. This is most perfectly summarized in Don Quixote's relationship with the prostitute Aldonza. She is quite obviously a prostitute, but he refuses to believe it. He says, 'No, you are not Aldonza, you are Dulcinea!' And at first she treats him with disgust and scorn. 'How stupid you are! I am a prostitute! I'm evil!' But he continues to call her Dulcinea. 'No, you are beautiful! You are good!' And finally, the power of his seeing overcomes her, and she begins to believe it and finally to become what he calls her.

That's how it is with the word of God. The word of god names us daughters and sons of God, all evidence to the contrary. One day it sinks in, and what we thought was reality shatters in the mirror."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 222-223)

There are two perceptions of self that most of us encounter. There is self-perception, how we see ourselves and there is the perception that others have of us. And it is true the perception of others impacts our self-perception.

It is easy to be down on oneself. To only see the negative. And even if the negative is real, to allow it to become the final word on us, is to give up hope.

I know that I personally find it hard to be told that I've done something good, or that I'm terrific in some way. That nagging "yeah-but" won't allow it. But after a while, a persistent flow of compliments and loving nudges towards a different version, can get me off of the woe is me mantra.

There is the way God sees us, which is usually quite different than the way most of us see ourselves. It is that lovable side of us, the side we often ignore and even deny, that I believe God sees and wants to open our eyes to see as well.

Hopefully in your life God has sent you someone who sees the real you. The person you can truly be. And continues to tell you it, until you also know it to be true.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflections for 6/17/10

"If a husband does not give specific time to his wife, simply to show her love and concern, he is being unreal when he says that his work is his love for her, or his taking care of the house is his love for her or whatever else. The same applies for wives. There must be moments of focus, of exclusive human love....Without a private prayer life, community prayer doesn't happen and community life doesn't work. We can continue it for a while, but then it becomes a pretense. So if you are just praying at your prayer meeting, I'll bet you're not praying. If you're just praying on Sunday morning, I'll bet you're not praying. If you don't think of the Lord until Sunday morning, you don't think of the Lord enough. How could you relate to your spouse that way? Ignore him or her for six days of the week and then routinely say, 'I love you' once a week. That's not a true relationship. Lovers share their entire lives with one another. If you love God, you share your whole life with God."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" pp.221-222)

One of the many things I talk about with couples when doing pre-marital counseling, is the setting of time for each other. It becomes one of the things that we can take for granted in a marriage, that person is always there, and doesn't need the same attention we gave when we were trying to win them over. The risk we take with that is drifting apart as a couple. We find other things and people to occupy our time, and then it might start to get really ugly.

Our relationship with God needs and deserves the same attention. Having time set aside to work on it. When we keep at it, it becomes less of a chore and more of the natural flow of our daily lives. And like most relationships that don't get tended to, it can also get to a place where you no longer feel the connection you once did. You may not even know why.

I try to spend as much quality time with my two main loves as I can, my family and God. I even find that God doesn't demand as much of my time as my family, and yet the time spent with God helps me to focus my love and energy towards my wife and my kids in ways that are truly meaningful.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflections for 6/16/10

"Franciscan spirituality has never been an abstraction. It is grounded in Jesus' specific instructions to his disciples; not in theology. Fransiscanism does not easily move into ideology. Francis' living of the gospel was just that: life-style pure and simple. It was the incarnation continuing in space and time. It was the presence of the Spirit taken seriously. It was being Jesus more than simply worshipping him. At its best, Fransciscanism is flesh-naked flesh-unable to deny its limitation, unable to cover its wounds. Francis called it poverty."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 220)

Much of what I've read of "Franciscan" ways of being Christian speak to me. While I'm not ready to take on another vow or promise if you will, I personally find it hard enough to maintain the three that I've taken.

While I believe that everyone is a theologian, I'm usually not drawn towards reading about theology. To graduate from Seminary I had to read, learn and write about various theologians, but I'm not ready to quote any of them off the top of my head.

I try to do more living a Christian life, than thinking about it. I would much rather see my interactions with others as revealing Christ, than I would any academic treatise I might write.

That is not to say that we shouldn't have some thinking behind what we believe. I would just like to see those thoughts and dogmas more easily transferred into actions that matter.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflections for 6/15/10

"All the other paths are good and helpful and expansive, but the Jesus path is clearly my path and, I believe, the liberating path for the world."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 220)

Let's start with a confession, I don't actually know much about "other paths." I know that Christianity is not the only religion on the planet. I in fact have friends who are Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, and even Wiccan. I will not claim to know very much about them but I have seen the importance for my friends of the path they are on to at least respect their walk. What I know is Christianity, and that tradition as lived out in the Episcopal Church.

If they wanted to have a conversation or ask me about my faith, I'm ready to talk, but do not feel compelled to witness beyond the actions I take and the way I pattern my life after Christ's example. Clearly the "other paths" have something to offer, or we Christians wouldn't co-opt practices from them and incorporate them into our tradition.

I know the Great Commission is to go and make disciples, and I'm trying to do my part. I do believe there are folks out in our world who need to see and hear how a relationship with God through Christ really can bring life and meaning. I'm just not as convinced that going after people of other faiths is the best use of my time, especially considering there are so many people with absolutely nothing.

And it is really hard to live in that in between space, when folks who are walking on the same path don't like the way I walk or the pace I take.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflections for 6/14/10

"Many men can't trust female love and many women can't trust male love today. This situation is the most subtle, certain and total way of destroying a people. the vulnerable and trusting love of Jesus is the only sign of salvation. It can be raised up like a white flag in a cold war. The present antagonism and mistrust has all the scary signs of total war."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 218-219)

There are many reasons that I'm glad to be married. One of them, though hardly the most important is that I do not have to be on the dating scene anymore. I still like to go on a date with my wife and enjoy her company, but I don't have to put on an act to impress her or make her love me. She apparently loves me and all my idiosyncrasies.

When she tells me that she loves me, I don't find myself asking what does she want from me. Hopefully she doesn't ask that when I tell her that I love her.

As the parent of teenagers, and remembering my own teenage years that word "love" got tossed around a lot. Testing the waters of what does "love" actually mean. And what am I hoping to get when I say it.

When love between to people has trust, there are no expectations, no conditions to that love. When we feel we are being manipulated by that word, and do not trust the motivations behind it, trouble comes.

With so much uncertainty in our world, where the traditional gender roles are being blurred, it isn't all that surprising that in our own feelings of insecurity we would feel attacked and threatened by our opposites.

Yet I do not wish to go back to a time where there existed "women's work" and "men's work" but would rather see one where we are all doing things that we enjoy and that bring us meaning. Thereby freeing us to truly love the other.

That love doesn't always have to be physical, though that has its place. But it should always be genuine.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflections for 6/13/10

"You have to be mistrustful of any language when it's too much on one side or the other. You can't just endlessly wait; you finally also have to do. And then in the doing, the Lord either opens or closes doors; things either happen or they don't. You must be ready to go back to prayer. And if you act before pryerful surrender, the action will be fille with self, manipulation and frenzy. Contemplation and action are equally important in the balanced life. I don't know which comes first; they are two steps in the one essential dance."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 218)

I tend to be a doer. I get very fidgety when I don't have something to do. When my body forces me to slow down, I can't wait to get going again.

I also know that part of my maturation process has been to take time for quiet contemplation and prayer. By having that regularly scheduled time, I can clear the deck, and be much more open to new beginnings. In all the normal chaos of my day to day routine, priorities become easier to make.

If I spent all of my time just in prayer and contemplation, nothing would get done. And yet without that as a counterbalance to my usually going self, I would burn out or lash out, and neither of those would be pleasant.

So I guess I'll just keep dancing.


Blessings,
Ed

Reflections for 6/12/10

"God knew all along what feminist theologians are saying only now: Sometimes God's face must be feminine. Maybe it is only 'the Woman' who will be able to heal the wars, mistrust and status symbols that divide the children of God."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p.217)

It is often hard to let go of an image. How often is a picture of what God looks like somehow based on a Michelangelo painting of an old white man sitting on a cloud. Even when we read that no one has ever seen God. That God's face is never seen, we still fall into the mind game of God being solely masculine.

What we can know of God is more of actions and reactions towards us. These movements often are reflected in the men and women who are part of our lives.

I've certainly been blessed in my life to have good examples of what the masculine and feminine ways of approaching issues can be. When one is more dominant than the other or attempts to exclude the other, the image gets tarnished and the vision dim.

Will women leading heal every wrong in the world. Probably not. Will their participation in the decision making processes help, I would hope so.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflections for 6/11/10

"The reason we have trouble with the full incarnation in Jesus probably is that we have not been able to recognize or admit our own limited incarnation. We must trust that God's process will give the conclusion."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 216)

I'm not sure I actually have trouble with the full incarnation in Jesus. Of course I admittedly don't spend a lot of my waking time worrying about it either. There is a part of me that is willing to accept it on faith, and go from there. Of course it may also be that I don't fully understand all the ramifications of it either. I do know that without the incarnation nothing else in my faith will make much sense or have any real purpose. But it still begs the question what does it really mean.

And maybe Rohr is right that I don't wrestle with that question because to do so would mean I have to wrestle with my limited incarnation. That part of me that is the image of God. Am I really living up to that? Do I choose to walk a path when I'm not certain where it will eventually lead.

To be able to do so means that I have to trust that God who begins thins within us, has a particular conclusion in mind. The twists and turns along the way, the bumps in the road if you will are where free will plays its part. But ultimately the conclusion is still there. I have to start somewhere to get somewhere. Will I trust that limited incarnation in me is really enough to see this journey through?

Blessings,
Ed

Reflections for 6/10/10

"Most of the martyrs were not killed simply for religious reasons. Throughout Christian history there's always been plenty of overlap between Church and state, politics and prayer. It was so with the English martyrs of the Reformation, with the Japanese martyrs; it was true with the early Roman martyrs. We easily forget that truth. Now when we see, for example the martyrs of the poor Church of El Salvador, people say, 'I'm no sure they were really martyrs for Christ. They were making waves with the state. But it has always been that way. True religion, precisely because it is so holistic, is a threat to the system. The system can't tolerate free people who don't bow before the idols of the system, whatever they might be."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 214-215)

There are many reasons that I'm thankful to live in America. One of them is the freedom to worship as I choose. I also enjoy the freedom to allow my religious convictions to inform my politics, without living in fear of the government coming and killing me. As long as I'm not stock piling a small arsenal and calling for its immediate violent overthrow, I'm safe.

I've always been in awe of martyrs. While thankful that I most likely will never have my faith convictions become something I have to defend to my literal death, it is impressive that there were and are still folks willing to do so. I would hope that I would have the courage to do so, but it would certainly be speculative at best.

Here in America we have a strange relationship with mixing politics and religion. While I may not want every political decision to be based on a quote from the Bible, I would like to believe that any politician who truly has a faith, would be taking real time to actually pray about any decision they are making.

The problem is that in our country if we like the decision and it's based on a faith commitment we applaud it. If we don't like the decision even if it is based on a faith commitment will scream in outrage. And by the way, this happens whether the decision is coming from a liberal or a conservative point of view.

One of the great struggles for people of faith is to not use faith as a crutch to say why you're for or against something, unless you're willing to go both directions. We Christians need to remember that there are certainly bible quotes that seem "Conservative" in our limited world view, but there are an equal number that would be "Liberal". And if we're going to break out the bible to support our positions I suppose that's fine, but don't go nuts when the other side of the aisle does the same.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflections for 6/9/10

"Forgiveness is most profoundly experienced when people can own their darkness and concretely allow another human being to offer freedom and healing to them. Heavenly transactions need to become tangible human experiences. That's what sacraments are. Do you really know how to receive forgiveness? If you can't receive it from another specific human being, I sincerely doubt whether you really know how to receive it from God."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p.214)

Have you ever had someone confide in you that they've done something and do not know whether the person they have hurt, can ever forgive them? I suppose there is always that fear that the wound is so deep that forgiveness isn't possible, or perhaps even deserved. Yet what I really wonder is if that question doesn't actually mask an underlying fear of asking for forgiveness. There is little in this world that hurts more than being rejected. And in trying to make amends, it takes the risk of being willing to say you're sorry and know that the other person might not accept your apology and forgive you. And then you manage to talk yourself out of even trying. Thereby assuring that forgiveness will not happen.

This thinking also happens in our relationship with God. Instead of listening to scripture speak of forgiveness following confession, because God is faithful and just. We just let it go.

And then of course there's the inability to forgive ourselves. Much easier to beat up myself, than to confront what I've done, and try to make amends.

That first step is always the hardest, but when taken it is often quite surprising how often forgiveness comes.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflections for 6/8/10

"Today people don't drop out of Church as much as drop in-occasionally! My hope is that little faith-sharing groups will continue to emerge, connected to parishes. The 'base community' and the institutional parish need one another. The parish needs the small fervent group to keep it hones, to allow and encourage those who want to ask the deeper questions, those who want to go further, those who want to learn to pray, to minister, to study, advocate and lay down their lives for the poor. And the small group needs the parish to avoid becoming sectarian, narrow, or lost in personality and trendiness. They must regulate, balance and challenge one another."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p.213)

I think I've always gravitated towards small groups. I went to a small liberal arts college with small class sizes. I've primarily pastored in a small church. I enjoy the banter and camaraderie of small reading and thinking groups. And yet I also know the need for the larger picture that those smaller groups make up.

At my current parish we don't have any intentional small groups, but they do exist in non-formal ways. There is always room for groups to form here, and when they do, they function for a time and run their course.

I have seen where small groups turn into factions, which of course is not healthy. They lose their original focus and become little fiefdoms vying for power in the church. Silly really. And of course they usually bring out a negative reaction from the establishment who feels something menacing, real or imagined.

I think most of life needs this kind of check and balance system to keep us from going to far afield or stagnating. Whether it be the church, our government, or sometimes even ourselves, it is always good to be striving for a counter balance in life.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflections for 6/7/10

"All of us discover after a while in ministry that the people we think we are saving are really saving us. It's a wonderful discovery after coming out of the seminary thinking we are going to save souls. It's the way God set up the Church: We all save one another in spite of ourselves. Maybe that's what we mean when we say that Christ saves us. Surely, none of us save ourselves."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 212)

If you were to talk to most clergy, they will tell you that when they graduated from seminary they thought they new it all. We'd been given all these creative ways to do ministry. All these new fangled ways to do liturgy. We knew more about the Bible than we did when we entered. We had been exposed to and probably latched onto some theology that now was what the whole world needed to hear.

Then we are suddenly placed in a parish and we find that we haven't been taught nearly anything that will actually help us minister in this world. Because we weren't really taught how to differentiate leadership vs. power. We aren't really taught how to be collegial with those who are not ordained. And then we find that without them, and in battling the lay folk, we lose.

The key of course is to not become so deflated over this. But instead to seek ways to find out how to be Christ to one another.

It is not easy to do when you feel you've been anointed as resident holy spokesperson. Yet that role is only fun when everything is going your way, which isn't very long.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflections for 6/6/10

"The Catholic understanding of Christianity, at its best, does not emphasize how to get you in the skies, but how to get your feet on the ground, how to get in touch with the real. Truly Catholic Christianity tells us how to get into society, into history, tied to the common good, how to be part of the muddiness and fleshiness of it all. We at the body of Chris; we don't just reflect on his ideas. That's primal, archetypal, transformative energy."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 211)

While I am not a Catholic, as in Roman, I do understand the aspect of Eucharistic theology that Fr. Rohr is talking about.

As I reflect on my own faith journey, it has been receiving communion on a weekly basis that has been what empowers me through the muddiness of the rest of the week.

You may recall the V8 commercials where people were walking tilting to the right because they weren't balanced. That is in some ways how communion has been for me. The work and ministry I do the rest of the week is fueled and given meaning by what I receive on Sunday morning. It doesn't save me, faith does that. But it is an essential part of my ongoing salvation.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflections for 6/5/10

"Merton had enough freedom from the system to be able to understand the system and creatively critique it. He was enough apart from it to, in fact, enter back into it with insight, knowing what the questions are and often having the correct responses. That's the simple definition of a prophet."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 210)

It is often true that the best way to fully get what's going on and to formulate an appropriate response requires some distance. A retreat leader I once heard called it stepping onto the balcony.

If I'm too caught up in what is going on, I lose perspective. I'm merely engaging in the manic of the moment, which is usually not the most prayerful place to be. There is also a real chance that I might react in a negative or defensive way, rather than a thoughtful and helpful way.

I also know that I will listen to critiques from those who are still invested in the process, institution etc.

Folks like Thomas Merton seemed to know how to keep one foot in the institution while giving enough space not to be eaten alive by it. When I give myself room for perspective, I'm sometimes truly astounded by how much clearer what's really going on becomes, and how the solution is really right there.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflections for 6/4/10

"Brothers and sisters, the irony is not that God should feel so fiercely; it's that his creatures feels so feebly. If there is nothing in your life to cry about, if there is nothing in your life to complain about, if there is nothing in your life to yell about, you must be out of touch. We mus all feel and know the pain of humanity. The free space that God leads us into is to feel the full spectrum form great exaltation and joy, to the pain of mourning and dying and suffering. It's called the Paschal Mystery. The totally free person is one who can feel all of it and not be afraid of any of it." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 209)

I'd be the last person to say that I'm looking for more pain and suffering in my life. While I have not had the level of suffering and misfortune that others have had, I've experienced enough that I can empathize and even walk with those who are hurting.

I remember when my grandfather was in his last couple of months. He was in a lot of pain, he was confined to a nursing home facility, and yet he could not face his own mortality. We had enough conversations about this until there came a point where I believe he let go of the fear and within weeks died peacefully.

While I do not wish people would die, I'm not overcome when being with folks who are dying or mourning. I'm not a cold unfeeling fish. Hey even Jesus wept. But I see it as a privilege to walk with folks at that point.

When suffering and loss hit even closer to home for me, I hope that the same calmness will be with me, I also hope and trust that others will walk with me then.

Thankfully the good times are just as numerous if not more so than the sad. It is my faith that helps me to not be afraid of everything going right or wrong, but fully understanding that on our earthly pilgrimage, there will always be highs and lows and together they make for a fairly exciting journey.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflections for 6/3/10

"Christians are afraid to believe how deep, real and powerful that relationship is between companions of Jesus, those who are on the same path together, who eat the same food."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 208)

One of the aspects of the Christian faith that still perplexes me is the Christian on Christian attacks that flare up every now and then. When folks who share that companionship with Jesus decide that some other companion of Jesus isn't worthy. They start jabbing verbally, throwing loaded words at each other, until instead of a unified mission, revolving around spreading the good news of Jesus Christ, we act as if we are two wrestlers in the WWE.

Part of this stems from our fear of others, in earlier times you had the Catholic/Protestant mistrust, which really had more to do with hatred of immigrants than any truly deep theology. Now it's the mainliners vs. the non-denominationals, each with their mutual accusations, missing the heart of the biblical witness about the body of Christ.

I will say that in those times of ecumenical cooperation, granted mainly among Christians, great things have occurred.

When I'm able to see in my non-Episcopalian brothers and sisters in Christ, that they too love Jesus and want to serve him in the service of others, I start to believe that there is hope.

I'm not saying that denominations, even one's that claim to be non-denominational are not necessary. They are because we all have different ways of worshipping which speak to the wide variety of folks. It is that central point of who Jesus is for us that should unite Christians. Unfortunately we some more interested in our points of disagreement. Maybe we really are afraid of what a unified front could positively do for a hurting world.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflections for 6/2/10

"We have no real rights. There is nothing we have to have. When you lose your friend, your lover, your life-giver, you can curse God and say, Why was he taken? why was she take? or you can say, Why was she given at all? You can say, Why is love gone? or you can say, Why did I even deserve a second of this life? God is creator and I am creature. God created me out of nothing and some years back I did not exist at all."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 208)

As an American I love to trumpet about my rights. I especially love when my kids tell me about their rights, and I remind them, half jesting of course, that they have the right to remain silent.

It is true that beyond food, water and shelter there is little I have to have. I am glad for my family and my friends, but when they are gone, I hope to miss them, though not despair.

Whenever I've had loss in my life, I've tried to go back to a place of thankfulness for the time I had with some folks, or the experiences that I've had. For me it beats constantly being stuck in lament mode.

All that I have, my family, my job, my health, the experiences that have brought me thus far, are all gifts from God. I didn't deserve them, nor do I have a right to them. But I'm sure glad I have and have had them.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflections for 6/1/10

"The primary temptation is to cover ourselves with roles, controls, successes and satisfying explanations. The mind will discover a million ways to cover itself from its fears and it emptiness. But praying is living in a lover's world with no need to affirm or deny, judge or justify. Praying is the unexpected uncovering of perfect goodness after we have done so many things wrong. There is no other place to begin listening or living. Payer is the only foundation we can trust in ourselves."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 206-207)

I've always believed prayer is a conversation with God. Granted one that often feels like a one way conversation but one where if I'm willing to be quiet, I might actually hear something unexpected.

It is interesting how in most of my human conversations there is an awful lot of what I'll call posturing. What do I have to show for myself. What are my excuses for my shortcomings. And yet prayer would be very silly if I tried to explain myself to God. Since God already knows what I've done, and also knows the motivations, both positive and negative.

There is a part of me that believes that God just sits there with a bemused look on his face as I go through all my excuses and yet still finds a way to love Ed and try to help him get back on track.

I'm not sure I deserve that much patience, but I give thanks for that amazing level of grace towards me.

Blessings,
Ed