"The primary temptation is to cover ourselves with roles, controls, successes and satisfying explanations. The mind will discover a million ways to cover itself from its fears and it emptiness. But praying is living in a lover's world with no need to affirm or deny, judge or justify. Praying is the unexpected uncovering of perfect goodness after we have done so many things wrong. There is no other place to begin listening or living. Payer is the only foundation we can trust in ourselves."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 206-207)
I've always believed prayer is a conversation with God. Granted one that often feels like a one way conversation but one where if I'm willing to be quiet, I might actually hear something unexpected.
It is interesting how in most of my human conversations there is an awful lot of what I'll call posturing. What do I have to show for myself. What are my excuses for my shortcomings. And yet prayer would be very silly if I tried to explain myself to God. Since God already knows what I've done, and also knows the motivations, both positive and negative.
There is a part of me that believes that God just sits there with a bemused look on his face as I go through all my excuses and yet still finds a way to love Ed and try to help him get back on track.
I'm not sure I deserve that much patience, but I give thanks for that amazing level of grace towards me.
Blessings,
Ed
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