"Forgiveness is most profoundly experienced when people can own their darkness and concretely allow another human being to offer freedom and healing to them. Heavenly transactions need to become tangible human experiences. That's what sacraments are. Do you really know how to receive forgiveness? If you can't receive it from another specific human being, I sincerely doubt whether you really know how to receive it from God."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p.214)
Have you ever had someone confide in you that they've done something and do not know whether the person they have hurt, can ever forgive them? I suppose there is always that fear that the wound is so deep that forgiveness isn't possible, or perhaps even deserved. Yet what I really wonder is if that question doesn't actually mask an underlying fear of asking for forgiveness. There is little in this world that hurts more than being rejected. And in trying to make amends, it takes the risk of being willing to say you're sorry and know that the other person might not accept your apology and forgive you. And then you manage to talk yourself out of even trying. Thereby assuring that forgiveness will not happen.
This thinking also happens in our relationship with God. Instead of listening to scripture speak of forgiveness following confession, because God is faithful and just. We just let it go.
And then of course there's the inability to forgive ourselves. Much easier to beat up myself, than to confront what I've done, and try to make amends.
That first step is always the hardest, but when taken it is often quite surprising how often forgiveness comes.
Blessings,
Ed
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