Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Reflections for 9/28/11

"What is the truth for the man who believes and cannot believe that there is a truth beyond all truths, to know which is to be himself made whole and true?"(F. Buechner "Listening to Your Life" p. 260)

Telling the truth is something we parents try to instill in our children, as our parents probably tried in us.  Of course the human condition has a hard time with the truth, because we fear the consequences.  If I tell the truth, will I get in trouble?  If I tell the truth will this relationship suffer?  If the truth of who I really am or what I really think comes out, will anyone really like me?

Truth also flows for me in and out of trust.  Do I trust the ability of another to forgive? Do I trust the strength of the relationship to endure?  Do I trust that who I actually am is worth knowing?

What for me is not completely the same are the words truth and fact.  There are things for me that cannot be proven, that may not be a fact, but they don't need to be to ring very true for me.  This is the hardest thing for a believer to explain to someone who doesn't believe.  It is sometimes the greatest inner struggle for those of us who believe.  Pilate asked Jesus, what is truth?  He didn't ask what is the truth.  And there is a real difference between those two questions.

Blessings,
Ed

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Reflections for 9/27/11

"Like duty,' 'law,', 'religion,' the word 'vocation' has a dull ring to it, but in terms of what it means, it is really not dull at all. 'vocare, to call, of course, and a man's vocation is a man's calling. It is the wok that he is called to in this world, the thing that he is summoned to spend his life doing. We can speak of a man's choosing his vocation, but perhaps it is at least as accurate to speak of a vocation's choosing the man, of a call's being given and a man's hearing it, or not hearing it.  And maybe that is the place to start; the business of listening and hearing. A man's life is full of all sorts of voices calling him in all sorts of directions. Some of them are voices from inside and some of them are voices from outside. The more alive and alert we are, the more clamorous our lives are. Which do we listen to? What kind of voice do we listen for." (F. Buechner "Listening to Your Life" p.259)

One of the first arguments I remember having in the ordination process was over the difference between a vocation and a profession.  My line of work seems to be both. It is a vocation in that I feel called to it and it is also a profession, I do get paid.

When any individual looks at what they do for a living they might encounter the same question.  Is the work that they do just a means to a pay check and they could think of plenty of other things they'd rather be doing or is it something that also gives them meaning and purpose. That is a distinction in my mind. 

It could be asked if something you would gladly do something for free is that a definer for vocation or is that something different, maybe that's just a passion, except that parenthood can be seen as a vocation and has no financial rewards.

I do agree that the key to most of what we choose to do with our time does involve listening.  And there are certainly plenty of "voices" crying out for our attention.  But how to know which voice is calling towards something that is real and which is just a siren song, is the real test.  And sometimes even decisions on professions can get muddied.

I know for myself that having a lot of interests does make for quite a symphony in my head.  But when I take the time to really listen, to prioritize and ultimately to pray about those voices, the real calling manages to break through.

Blessings,
Ed

Monday, September 26, 2011

Reflections for 9/26/11

"We try so hard as Christians. We think such long thoughts, manipulate such long words, and both listen to and preach such long sermons. Each one of us somewhere, somehow, has known, if only for a moment or so, something of what it is to feel the shattering love of God, and once that has happened, we can never rest easy again for tyring somehow to set that love forth not only in words, myriads of words, but in our lives themselves."(F. Buechner "Listening to Your Life" p. 258)

Have you ever had a moment that just left you speechless?  Not a devastating one, but where you went were just in such awe of what happened that you wanted to say something, to write down what you were feeling, and yet words escaped you.

Those occasions for me are great gifts of God's grace in my life.  And yes, as a preacher I do try to articulate them, though no one would accuse me of preaching a long sermon.  Of course try to describe that experience to someone and it will be quite a challenge.  And maybe there's a reason for that.

When we spend to much time trying to come up with the right words to describe something only we've experienced it rarely works.  Yet if I try to just take it all in, to incorporate it into the ever expanding life mental filing cabinet of life experiences, it has the potential to become a part of who I am.  And maybe that's the point of any such moment, to help us grow closer to God and who we are supposed to be as humans.

Blessings,
Ed

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Reflections for 9/25/11

"If we didn't already know but were asked to guess the kind of people Jesus would pick out for special commendation, we might be tempted to guess one sort or another of spiritual hero-men and women of impeccable credentials morally, spiritually, humanly and every which way. If so, we would be wrong. Maybe those aren't the ones he picked out because he felt they didn't need the shot in the arm his commendation would give them. Maybe they're not the ones he picked out because he didn't happen to know any. Be that as it may, it's worth noting the ones he did pick out."(F. Buechner "Listening to Your Life" p.256)

There always seems to be a stereotype out there that Christians are perfect people. Have it all together. Always in a happy mood. An army of Ned Flanders running around doing good.  Underlying that is the stereotype that all Christians pretend to be that.

Actually I know very few that are or even pretend to be.  I've met some remarkable people of faith in my life, but I also know that many of them have some serious flaws, not ones that make them evil, but ones that keep them from being all that they can be.  I also know some who cannot even see the good with themselves.

"Blessed are you," Jesus begins his sermon on the mount with 10 different groupings.  Fitting into any of those groups would not exactly make one feel blessed by the way.  And yet he is saying here's the silver lining, here's how we make lemonade out of your current lemon.  Here's the reason to keep striving when you feel like quitting.

It would cheapen the message to call it a pep talk, but there are some resemblances.  Most of us do better when we feel appreciated, when the work we do is acknowledged. Most of us can keep on keeping on, when we feel there's something worth striving for.

Blessings,
Ed

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Reflection for 9/14/11

"To anyone who is looking for good reasons for being a Christian, let me suggest the only really good one that I know....that in this man there is power to turn goats into tigers, to give life to the half-alive even to the dead; that what he asks of us when he says 'follow me' is what he also has the power to give, and this is the power of God that he has, that he is, and that is why men have called him the Christ."(F. Buechner "Listening to Your Life" p. 245-246)

One of the great challenges that comes from scripture is "to be able to give a reason for the hope that is in you."  Or as Buechner asks, "for being a Christian."

So why am I a Christian?  Good question.  First I was born into this faith, and raised and nurtured in it.  But so have countless millions of folk throughout history who would not claim that faith.  I know that wherever life has taken me physically that sense of community that I find in Christian faith communities has grounded and sustained me during that time.  Of course community can be found in lots of ways, there are plenty of organizations to join.

There is of course the person, Jesus of Nazareth,  I didn't know him in a physical way that I would say the many friends that I have, but I count him among the closest friends I've got.  And I try to emulate that friendship between us with the other friends that I have.  His modeling of living as a human, in any time, one that values others and seeks not one's own glory but the glory that comes from knowing that I am beloved and beloved people know how to extend love matters greatly to me.

I don't know that I've given any reasons here to be a Christian. I do know this that if I weren't I wouldn't be who I am.

Blessings,
Ed

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Reflections for 9/13/11

"What does it mean to be a human being?.....He knew now that at the end there was only one thing that counted-to be a saint....What interests me is learning to become a saint."(F. Buechner "Listening to Your Life." pp.244-245)

Buechner quotes from two different books with the answer to his question; Graham Greene's The Power and the Glory and Camus The Plague.  Certainly interesting that two different characters come up with a similar answer, be a saint, and how to be a saint.

When we hear the word saint we immediately think of some super human religious person. One who does incredible things in the name of God and who, so the stereotype goes, does nothing wrong.

Both of course like most stereotypes is greatly exaggerated.  While certainly the more famous saints, the one's that get the press' attention do extraordinary things in the name of God, there are saints each and everyday, who live out their faith to the best of their abilities, but for whom notoriety is not going to be coming.

But if being a saint is the answer to being a human, then all we have to be is truly ourselves.  To bring forth from ourselves the best we have to offer.  To allow the light of Christ to shine through us much like the stained glass windows that are found in many religious buildings.

If sainthood was only perfection we'd have no saints. If sainthood was only about the extraordinary and not the ordinary, we'd be short changed.  If being human is being a saint, meaning I suppose that we are named and we have a purpose, then sainthood is achievable for anyone.

Blessings,
Ed

Monday, September 12, 2011

Reflections for 9/12/11

"The other war is the war not to conquer but the war to become whole and a t peace inside our skins. It is a war not of conquest now but of liberation because the object this other war is to liberate that dimension of self hood which has somehow become lost, that dimension of self hood that involves the capacity to forgive and to will the good not only of the self but of all other selves."(F. Buechner "Listening to Your Life" p. 244)

St. Paul often talked about the war within the self.  Probably where we get the notion that I'm my own worse enemy.  In the post 9/11 days we heard much about our lost innocence. And there's something to that. We certainly have lost a lot of valuable inner strengths.

The world seems to me to be more afraid than ever. I don't know whether that is factual or not. I don't know how you measure a fear level.  But I certainly hear the words, I'm afraid of as sentence starters more often than not.  We look for psyche boosters to tell us we're all right, and unfortunately turn to the old standbys of racism and self-protection.  We like to build fences where bridges are needed.  All of which point to a lack of trust in God's benevolence and mercy toward us.

And while I don't expect people with no belief in God, to trust God, I do wonder why those who believe in God or any god take the bait of cynicism and fear.  Perhaps its because we don't know how to forgive ourselves that we can't forgive others. Perhaps it is that we don't know what we really need to be happy so we keep substituting what we think we want. 

Blessings,
Ed

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Reflections for 9/11/11

Today of course is the 10th anniversary of the terrorists attacks here in America.  Most people over the age of 15 can tell you what they were doing when they heard the news.  Of course there are many folks for whom this day will always be filled with sadness, having lost a loved one in the attack.

I recall sitting in shock not believing what I was seeing.  I certainly had concern for my relatives who live and work in Manhattan.  There was so much confusion.and it was hard to get through to folks with the disruption to cell service.  And of course over the next week and days it was just a sad as we watched the outpouring of grief.

10 years later, the day fell on a Sunday.  There was much to do without even thinking about the 10th anniversary. I also knew there would be know way to pretend that it wasn't any different day.  The Gospel lesson was about forgiveness.  In my sermon I reflected that I thought forgiveness was not my first response 10 years ago.  Who was I supposed to forgive.  Even 10 years later, that question remains unanswered, except for the idea that all forgiveness that I offer is not for the other but for my spiritual well being.

I know that life was altered permanently 10 years ago.  I know that the symbolic targets still hold sway for me. Our economy has not been the same since.  Our military is spread across the globe on the offensive.  Our politics seems even more divided.

I also noticed something tonight at our Ecumenical Service. The predominant demographic at this service was older folk.  I'm not sure what that means.  Do events like this play out differently across the generations?  Probably so.

I know that I continue to hold in my prayers the families of victims of this heinous act. And I pray also for all of us, even if we didn't know someone personally who died.  All of us were affected and continue to still live in a very different world than the one we knew before.

Blessings,
Ed

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Reflections for 9/7/11

"What man and woman, if they gave serious thought for what having children inevitably involves, would ever have them? Yet what man and woman, once having had them and loved them, would ever want it otherwise?"(F. Buechner "Listening to Your Life" p. 239)

When Gail and I got married, we both knew that we wanted to have children.  We didn't right out of the honeymoon because we knew that me being in seminary it would be a struggle financially to start then.  Once I had my first call, it was time to get started and we were fortunate to have two fine sons. We also knew that was probably the limit to what we could handle emotionally and financially.

I will say that no one is ever truly prepared for what having a kid or kids really means until it actually happens.  When you're going through the baby stage you think you'll never sleep again, when will this life form start communicating in a way I can understand.. And of course they eventually do and you begin to wonder when they'll be quiet and stop being so opinionated and willful.

Each age has presented new joys and new challenges.  And since I'm sure I still give my parents new joys and new challenges it never actually stops.

I wouldn't go back in time and have it any other way.  I love my kids, even on days when that is a real challenge because of decisions they make.  I don't think they are perfect by any stretch of the imagination, then again neither am I.

All parents that I've met whether man/woman , same sex, or single, know that the truth of being a parent is that it both energizes and drains us.  And when we are at our best, our kids make out pretty well. When we're not having our best days, even then they may still be alright.

Blessings,
Ed

Monday, September 5, 2011

Reflection for 9/5/11

"We also know that words spoken in deep love or deep hate set things in motion within the human heart that can never be reversed."(F. Buechner "Listening to Your Life" p. 238)

When was the last time someone said something deep to or about you?  Either a compliment or an absolute verbal assault. The kind of phrase that left you stunned either positively or negatively.

We run into a lot of shallow stuff daily. Pious platitudes, sound bite statements. Compliments that we aren't sure are deserved or what may be behind them.  We also know the callous sarcastic barb, the teasing, the name calling, the baiting.  A lot of heat generated but not much light.

I'm sure in my lifetime I've received some words spoken from deep love for me. I am fortunate that I can barely recall a handful of deeply hateful words hurled my way.

I hope that I've said more words out of a place of deep love than hate.  I also hope that the balance of my more shallow moments are from at least a place of love as well.

Blessings,
Ed

Friday, September 2, 2011

Reflection for 9/2/11

"All the major Christian creeds affirm belief in resurrection of the body. In other words they affirm the belief that what God in spite of everything prizes enough to bring back to life is not just some disembodied echo of a human being but a new and revised version of all the things which made him the particular human being he was and which he needs something like a body to express; his personality, the way he looked, the sound of his voice, his peculiar capacity for creating and loving, in some sense his face."(F. Buechner "Listening to Your Life" p. 235)

A central tenet of the Christian faith, is no doubt resurrection. It is the center of the Easter message. It is what makes Christianity different from the other major world religions.  It is also one of the hardest to prove. One either believes it on faith or doesn't.  I can't see much wiggle room.

But what any one Christian believes about resurrection can vary.  I find that this definition by Buechner works for me.  It comes pretty close to what I say about resurrection and heaven when I preach at funerals.  The how will we recognize our loved ones.  I do not believe that the body we end our earthly pilgrimage with is what gets resurrected. That comes to close to Dawn of the Dead. 

Resurrection and heaven for me must reflect who we were when we were at our best.  The person most people would recognize in their minds eye if they were to encounter us again. That means doing the things that gave us life.  Behaving in the ways that made us uniquely us.

I can't prove resurrection to anyone. I do believe it, and don't feel compelled to prove it.  I know I've seen hints of it in my ministry. I look forward to the day when I witness it for myself.

Blessings,
Ed

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Reflections for 9/1/11

"This is the day which the Lord has made,' says the 118th Psalm.  "Let us rejoice and be glad in it.' Or weep and be sad in it  for that matter. The point is to see it for what it is because it will be gone before you know it. If you waste it, it is your life that you're wasting. If you look the other way, it may be the moment you've been waiting for  always that you're missing. all other days have either disappeared into darkness and oblivion or not yet emerged from them. Today is the only day there is."(F. Buechner "Listening to Your Life." p. 234)

I had a pretty good day today.  There were things to do, people to visit.  No real highs or lows. No unexpected twists.  I probably won't look back on it as anything remarkable one way or the other.  I just know that I could be marked as present.

I also know that many of my friends who are still feeling the effects of Irene cannot say the same thing.  I can't imagine not looking back and feeling loss. I can't imagine not thinking about the days weeks and months ahead cleaning up.  Being present in today is probably quite the challenge.

But perhaps it is those days that are neither filled with great joy or sorrow, that we need to pay attention to.  What do we make of those days?  Do we just stumble through them. Either pining for some mythical past, or longing or worrying about what the future holds?

To live for today, each day, is one of the greatest challenges of being human.  But I wouldn't want to miss a moment.

Blessings,
Ed