"What man and woman, if they gave serious thought for what having children inevitably involves, would ever have them? Yet what man and woman, once having had them and loved them, would ever want it otherwise?"(F. Buechner "Listening to Your Life" p. 239)
When Gail and I got married, we both knew that we wanted to have children. We didn't right out of the honeymoon because we knew that me being in seminary it would be a struggle financially to start then. Once I had my first call, it was time to get started and we were fortunate to have two fine sons. We also knew that was probably the limit to what we could handle emotionally and financially.
I will say that no one is ever truly prepared for what having a kid or kids really means until it actually happens. When you're going through the baby stage you think you'll never sleep again, when will this life form start communicating in a way I can understand.. And of course they eventually do and you begin to wonder when they'll be quiet and stop being so opinionated and willful.
Each age has presented new joys and new challenges. And since I'm sure I still give my parents new joys and new challenges it never actually stops.
I wouldn't go back in time and have it any other way. I love my kids, even on days when that is a real challenge because of decisions they make. I don't think they are perfect by any stretch of the imagination, then again neither am I.
All parents that I've met whether man/woman , same sex, or single, know that the truth of being a parent is that it both energizes and drains us. And when we are at our best, our kids make out pretty well. When we're not having our best days, even then they may still be alright.
Blessings,
Ed
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