Reflections for 6/18/10

"In Man of La Mancha we perceive a constant conflict between what is normally called reality and what Don Quixote called reality. Others call his reality idealism. He sets out for his reality at all costs and refuses to accept their sad definition of reality. The men with mirrors come up before him and try to force him to face up to what they call realism.

We find sometimes that what people call reality in fact blinds rather than illuminates. This is most perfectly summarized in Don Quixote's relationship with the prostitute Aldonza. She is quite obviously a prostitute, but he refuses to believe it. He says, 'No, you are not Aldonza, you are Dulcinea!' And at first she treats him with disgust and scorn. 'How stupid you are! I am a prostitute! I'm evil!' But he continues to call her Dulcinea. 'No, you are beautiful! You are good!' And finally, the power of his seeing overcomes her, and she begins to believe it and finally to become what he calls her.

That's how it is with the word of God. The word of god names us daughters and sons of God, all evidence to the contrary. One day it sinks in, and what we thought was reality shatters in the mirror."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 222-223)

There are two perceptions of self that most of us encounter. There is self-perception, how we see ourselves and there is the perception that others have of us. And it is true the perception of others impacts our self-perception.

It is easy to be down on oneself. To only see the negative. And even if the negative is real, to allow it to become the final word on us, is to give up hope.

I know that I personally find it hard to be told that I've done something good, or that I'm terrific in some way. That nagging "yeah-but" won't allow it. But after a while, a persistent flow of compliments and loving nudges towards a different version, can get me off of the woe is me mantra.

There is the way God sees us, which is usually quite different than the way most of us see ourselves. It is that lovable side of us, the side we often ignore and even deny, that I believe God sees and wants to open our eyes to see as well.

Hopefully in your life God has sent you someone who sees the real you. The person you can truly be. And continues to tell you it, until you also know it to be true.

Blessings,
Ed