"The conservative personality usually wants to shame or blame somebody. The liberal says no one should ever be blamed (except perhaps the conservatives!) We are all afraid of the radical responsibility of the Twelve Steps. No blame, no denial, no toxic shame, just the honest statement, I am___________." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 104)
One of the aspects of Lent that I find important is the chance to really and prayerfully take a hard look at myself and see who I really am and what I need to do to improve. I do believe that can be quite frightening especially if it means we have to accept who we are before we can actually do anything about it.
It will mean not blaming others for whatever is not as it should be with me. I can't control them, I can only control my response to them. I can't go into denial, pretending that what I've found isn't real, while continuing to behave in that fashion. And I can't run away from myself by telling myself what a horrible person I am, that's just avoiding the issue also.
I agree with Rohr the best place to start is with an "I" statement. Whatever that part is that you're choosing to address. And I would say that the easiest way that I find to actually get moving on any life time self improvement would be to follow the honest "I am______ statement, with the following truth statement "I am a beloved child of God." When I hold onto to that truth, some of the less desirable aspects of being me, can be addressed without feeling so alone.
Blessings,
Ed
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