Reflections for 5/9/11

"What she asked him to do for me was walk back through my memory, as though it was a long hall. She asked him to open all the closed doors, and to bless whatever he found inside."(F. Buechner "Listening to Your Life" p.119)

My grandfather lived in a 3 story Victorian in Haddonfield NJ.  I have vivid memories of that home and could give you a talking tour of my memories of each room.  The third floor still stands out in my mind. I can still see it, and I can still recall the feelings I had as a 1st and 2nd grader walking up there. 

There were closets at the foot of each landing, with a closed door, you didn't open those doors, who knew what was behind them. You then ran to the end of the hall. there were three doors at the end. The center door was to my mother's room, when she was a teen.

I like the idea that memories are like long halls with closed doors.  Occasionally doors get opened that I've forgotten what lies behind them.  I can be pleasantly surprised by some things I've forgotten about.  There are also doors that I know exactly what lies behind them, and wish to leave them shut.  Though perhaps opening them and letting some light in might heal the pain.  And of course there are those doors that hold memories that when I need to remind myself that all is not lost, I can run down the hall and open them up as well.

Blessings,
Ed