Relfections for 7/16/12

Imperfections, setbacks, and sins, then, are all part of the striving, they're all grist for the mill. They're the place where we are destined to meet God-in the gap. Wherever there is that unfinishedness, there is the call to holiness: in the kitchen, the office, the hospital room, or the supermarket. Wherever there is that sense of striving, there is a saint in the making. From this point of view, then, there is no such thing as an 'obstacle' to sainthood. Saints may be preoccupied with raising a family and balancing a checkbook; we may be strugling with our too crowded daily schedule, our short temper, or our jealousy; we may have to live with a painful experience in the past or a physical disability. No matter what, it is through and in the experience of our imperfections that God wants to meet us.-(Speaking to the Soul Vicki K. Black, p.167-168)

As I read that quote this morning it hit me how much of my life always feels like unfinishedness. That there is a part of me that will always have a voice in the back of my head saying what if.....?
That voice can be a melancholy reminder of past events that never lived up to what I'd hoped for.  Places where with a time machine I'd go back and do something different.

Even in my current position, I know that there are things that should happen that don't. Sometimes because I can't muster enough energy or enthusiasm for it, but I do find the time to dream about the what if of them.

The frustration does come from how much "busyness" there is that distracts me from following my heart all the time.  There are enough daily responsibilities and out of nowhere emergencies that keep things on the back burner.

I also know that one of the description of my ENFP is a feeling of constant restlessness to which I fight daily and when I win that battle I get things done. 

I do know that somehow as long as I keep striving to do what needs to get done, and allow for some dreaming of what might still be, the events in the past that cannot be re-written can just be faded memories rather than a millstone around my neck.

What do you struggle with that keeps you from following your dreams, of being all that you can be?  How do we make room and shed light on those dreams to see what they might become, or perhaps what they really should be.

Blessings,
Ed.