Today is an anniversary of sorts for Gail and I. We went on our first date in 1988. I can tell you where we went, it was to the Ground Round in Newburgh, NY. We had dinner, what else would you do at a Ground Round? We then went back to my apartment. This wasn't an official date, I was thanking her for being willing to watch my apartment while I was on the road recruiting for Mt. Saint Mary College at which she was a student.
I was supposed to go down to NJ that night, but instead hung out at my apartment and she and I watched the Bush-Dukakis debates, yes I'm quite the romantic. Little did I know that young woman would eventually become the person I'd spend the rest of my life with.
This past Sunday we read a passage from the Book of Proverbs in which the opening sentence was "a capable wife, who can find?" I thought that was a strange way of phrasing what we should be looking for in a life time partner, capability. I'm not even sure what a "capable" wife, or for that matter husband would be. Are there specific tasks involved?
I know that a marriage, much like any partnership should be one where the partner brings out the best in the other. This is true in business as well as households. Do the two people's strengths compliment each other?
I preached on that proverb last week. Thought it was worth contemplating. Not only about celebrating wives, and my wife in particular, but also any covenant relationship. I reminded the congregation that we see marriage as a pointing to the union between Christ and his Church, and so I asked what makes a capable church?
When you look at the primary relationships, whether marital, business, familial or friendship, what has made them work? What did you look for in those partnerships? What did you bring to the relationship? And in those times when it didn't work out, what was missing?
Blessings,
Ed
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Reflections for 8/23/2012
On Thursdays we have a very small service here at my church. Today's readings talked in two instances of turning hearts, and creating clean hearts. Having successfully passed Biology I do know that the heart, doesn't have a whole lot to do with emotions or anything thought related, except to get the blood up to the brain so that it can do its job.
But I am also not afraid of metaphorical language. I have probably said more than once "my heart wasn't into it." Pretty much meaning I was there, I tried to do what needed to be done, but I could have thought of a million other things I'd rather have been doing. I've never been accused of being "hard hearted" or having a "heart of stone." To have no compassion for others or to have no feelings about anything. The Rolling Stones of course sang about breaking a heart of stone.
I do know of times in my life, when my heart has not been into something. When I have just gone through the motions, wondering when the event or task would be over. I also know that there have been times when I've gone into something, whole hearted, and how much more enjoyable those times were.
The best is when I have to do something that I actually want to do.
So what do we do when our "heart" tells us something. When it in many ways it is an emotional response rather than an intellectual decision, what are the processes we go through?
I suppose I start by being thankful for a heart that beats, bleeds and keeps me moving.
Blessings,
Ed
But I am also not afraid of metaphorical language. I have probably said more than once "my heart wasn't into it." Pretty much meaning I was there, I tried to do what needed to be done, but I could have thought of a million other things I'd rather have been doing. I've never been accused of being "hard hearted" or having a "heart of stone." To have no compassion for others or to have no feelings about anything. The Rolling Stones of course sang about breaking a heart of stone.
I do know of times in my life, when my heart has not been into something. When I have just gone through the motions, wondering when the event or task would be over. I also know that there have been times when I've gone into something, whole hearted, and how much more enjoyable those times were.
The best is when I have to do something that I actually want to do.
So what do we do when our "heart" tells us something. When it in many ways it is an emotional response rather than an intellectual decision, what are the processes we go through?
I suppose I start by being thankful for a heart that beats, bleeds and keeps me moving.
Blessings,
Ed
Monday, July 16, 2012
Relfections for 7/16/12
Imperfections, setbacks, and sins, then, are all part of the striving, they're all grist for the mill. They're the place where we are destined to meet God-in the gap. Wherever there is that unfinishedness, there is the call to holiness: in the kitchen, the office, the hospital room, or the supermarket. Wherever there is that sense of striving, there is a saint in the making. From this point of view, then, there is no such thing as an 'obstacle' to sainthood. Saints may be preoccupied with raising a family and balancing a checkbook; we may be strugling with our too crowded daily schedule, our short temper, or our jealousy; we may have to live with a painful experience in the past or a physical disability. No matter what, it is through and in the experience of our imperfections that God wants to meet us.-(Speaking to the Soul Vicki K. Black, p.167-168)
As I read that quote this morning it hit me how much of my life always feels like unfinishedness. That there is a part of me that will always have a voice in the back of my head saying what if.....?
That voice can be a melancholy reminder of past events that never lived up to what I'd hoped for. Places where with a time machine I'd go back and do something different.
Even in my current position, I know that there are things that should happen that don't. Sometimes because I can't muster enough energy or enthusiasm for it, but I do find the time to dream about the what if of them.
The frustration does come from how much "busyness" there is that distracts me from following my heart all the time. There are enough daily responsibilities and out of nowhere emergencies that keep things on the back burner.
I also know that one of the description of my ENFP is a feeling of constant restlessness to which I fight daily and when I win that battle I get things done.
I do know that somehow as long as I keep striving to do what needs to get done, and allow for some dreaming of what might still be, the events in the past that cannot be re-written can just be faded memories rather than a millstone around my neck.
What do you struggle with that keeps you from following your dreams, of being all that you can be? How do we make room and shed light on those dreams to see what they might become, or perhaps what they really should be.
Blessings,
Ed.
As I read that quote this morning it hit me how much of my life always feels like unfinishedness. That there is a part of me that will always have a voice in the back of my head saying what if.....?
That voice can be a melancholy reminder of past events that never lived up to what I'd hoped for. Places where with a time machine I'd go back and do something different.
Even in my current position, I know that there are things that should happen that don't. Sometimes because I can't muster enough energy or enthusiasm for it, but I do find the time to dream about the what if of them.
The frustration does come from how much "busyness" there is that distracts me from following my heart all the time. There are enough daily responsibilities and out of nowhere emergencies that keep things on the back burner.
I also know that one of the description of my ENFP is a feeling of constant restlessness to which I fight daily and when I win that battle I get things done.
I do know that somehow as long as I keep striving to do what needs to get done, and allow for some dreaming of what might still be, the events in the past that cannot be re-written can just be faded memories rather than a millstone around my neck.
What do you struggle with that keeps you from following your dreams, of being all that you can be? How do we make room and shed light on those dreams to see what they might become, or perhaps what they really should be.
Blessings,
Ed.
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Reflections for 7/15/12
I've never been a good dancer. I can waltz, sort of, mainly because I can't count to three. But dancing at a party or a wedding, I become a wall flower and an observer. It's kind of funny considering how much I love music, all kinds of music. I like a good riff and a strong beat. I find it energizing and something deep down inside always seems to want to break through my fears of being laughed at when that's not the response I'm looking for.
One of the scripture passages that was read in my church spoke of David dancing and basically carrying on because the ark of God had been brought back into Jerusalem. The ancient Israelites symbol of God's presence back with the people.
I thought about how much when life is good I want to dance for joy, much like David did. But my inability and my fear of being embarrassed always stop me. I do know how to enjoy good things and I often feel very blessed, but still not much dancing.
Maybe the reality is that we are always dancing. Life is one big dance. There are steps to be taken, there is a rhythm to our lives. Sometimes the dance is slow and almost intimate, sometimes we can just hang loose and sway, and other times we swirl around like a spinning top randomly knocking into people.
So what gets your feet moving? Where is the music in your life that makes you dance for joy, or at least gets your feet tapping and your head bobbing? I hope there's something that resembles a dance that is a response to good things happening and not just a please notice me moment.
Blessings,
Ed
One of the scripture passages that was read in my church spoke of David dancing and basically carrying on because the ark of God had been brought back into Jerusalem. The ancient Israelites symbol of God's presence back with the people.
I thought about how much when life is good I want to dance for joy, much like David did. But my inability and my fear of being embarrassed always stop me. I do know how to enjoy good things and I often feel very blessed, but still not much dancing.
Maybe the reality is that we are always dancing. Life is one big dance. There are steps to be taken, there is a rhythm to our lives. Sometimes the dance is slow and almost intimate, sometimes we can just hang loose and sway, and other times we swirl around like a spinning top randomly knocking into people.
So what gets your feet moving? Where is the music in your life that makes you dance for joy, or at least gets your feet tapping and your head bobbing? I hope there's something that resembles a dance that is a response to good things happening and not just a please notice me moment.
Blessings,
Ed
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Reflections for 7/7/2012-
To defend or not to defend that was the question I asked myself on Wednesday, the 4th of July. Defend what you ask, why my pie eating championship belt of course. For those who don't know I live in a small town with a great traditional 4th of July. Four years ago, the Lions Club, who run the festivities that day, added a pie eating contest. Which I won in my age group.
It was fun, and yes as a foodaholic, it played to my strengths. I won the next two years and last year, even had fun with it by pretending I was the pro wrestler of pie eaters. Then came this year. Did I want to participate again? Frankly my heart was no longer into it, nor my attempts at eating like a normal person were also calling for my non participation, and when the time came to sign up I passed. I disappointed some who had come to see me as some sort of tradition.
What I ultimately realized is that there comes a time when you have to stop doing things, that you don't actually have to do. Kenny Rogers once sang, "you got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em, know when to walk away and know when to run." This for me was knowing when to walk away. It might have been fun, I may even have won, but I didn't have to and my heart really wasn't into it.
Knowing when to walk away is hard. In life we are often faced with choices about ending something, and they aren't always as trivial as a pie eating contest. They can often be much harder, staying in a dead end job, or a horrible relationship. Perhaps not really facing our own realities of behaviors we are engaging in that are killing us spiritually and sometimes even physically.
At the moment I'm not faced with two many cross roads in my life. I hope that when the time comes to make more monumental decisions I can have the grace to know which choice to make.
Blessings,
Ed
It was fun, and yes as a foodaholic, it played to my strengths. I won the next two years and last year, even had fun with it by pretending I was the pro wrestler of pie eaters. Then came this year. Did I want to participate again? Frankly my heart was no longer into it, nor my attempts at eating like a normal person were also calling for my non participation, and when the time came to sign up I passed. I disappointed some who had come to see me as some sort of tradition.
What I ultimately realized is that there comes a time when you have to stop doing things, that you don't actually have to do. Kenny Rogers once sang, "you got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em, know when to walk away and know when to run." This for me was knowing when to walk away. It might have been fun, I may even have won, but I didn't have to and my heart really wasn't into it.
Knowing when to walk away is hard. In life we are often faced with choices about ending something, and they aren't always as trivial as a pie eating contest. They can often be much harder, staying in a dead end job, or a horrible relationship. Perhaps not really facing our own realities of behaviors we are engaging in that are killing us spiritually and sometimes even physically.
At the moment I'm not faced with two many cross roads in my life. I hope that when the time comes to make more monumental decisions I can have the grace to know which choice to make.
Blessings,
Ed
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Reflection for 6/6/12
It seems like forever since I felt the urge to write one of these. I don't really know what my problem has been. It isn't a lack of time. It isn't a lack of thought. But much of what has kept me busy has not inspired me.
So why today? Well it started at my Book Club here at church. We finished reading Lauren Winner's Still: A Mid Faith Crisis. What stuck out for me was when she reflected on how she used to love to cook. It stuck in my mind because first it made me hungry as she described what she used to make. Second it reminded me how I used to love to cook.
I can remember making food for myself as a kid, open faced grilled cheese sandwiches, macaroni and cheese (granted from a box not scratch) Pancakes (from scratch not a box). As I got older trying out recipes. I've never caught onto grilling but I think I would enjoy it.
As I pondered cooking, I wonder what stopped me from those creative endeavors? Part of it is the crazy unpredictable schedules that the other members of the house seem to have, so why bother? Yet there is a part of me that would love to start up again. Maybe as the summer season rolls in, when there is less on my personal schedule to do.
And all of this got me wondering about many things that I used to do for fun. The things that at one time brought me joy in life, that are no longer a part of my day to day existence. What happened to those activities? Did I just grow out of them? What did I replace them with? Are any of them worth revisiting?
As someone who spends most of his day attending to other people's needs, I have to remind myself that there is such a thing as "me time." I do have some of that when I go to the gym each morning. But can I carve out some other part of my day for "me time as well.
I may have to make that part of my summer to do list.
Blessings,
Ed
So why today? Well it started at my Book Club here at church. We finished reading Lauren Winner's Still: A Mid Faith Crisis. What stuck out for me was when she reflected on how she used to love to cook. It stuck in my mind because first it made me hungry as she described what she used to make. Second it reminded me how I used to love to cook.
I can remember making food for myself as a kid, open faced grilled cheese sandwiches, macaroni and cheese (granted from a box not scratch) Pancakes (from scratch not a box). As I got older trying out recipes. I've never caught onto grilling but I think I would enjoy it.
As I pondered cooking, I wonder what stopped me from those creative endeavors? Part of it is the crazy unpredictable schedules that the other members of the house seem to have, so why bother? Yet there is a part of me that would love to start up again. Maybe as the summer season rolls in, when there is less on my personal schedule to do.
And all of this got me wondering about many things that I used to do for fun. The things that at one time brought me joy in life, that are no longer a part of my day to day existence. What happened to those activities? Did I just grow out of them? What did I replace them with? Are any of them worth revisiting?
As someone who spends most of his day attending to other people's needs, I have to remind myself that there is such a thing as "me time." I do have some of that when I go to the gym each morning. But can I carve out some other part of my day for "me time as well.
I may have to make that part of my summer to do list.
Blessings,
Ed
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Reflections for 5/2/2012
My book club at church is currently reading Still notes on a Mid-Faith Crisis, by Lauren f. Winner. I was struck by a quote from that book that said, "Or like the writer of Ecclesiastes, instead of asking where the god you thought you were lookng for had gone, ask what god is like now."(Winner p. 114)
Anyone who has ever been involved in a faith community probably has had to ask that question from time to time. If you are no longer in a faith community that very question may be what caused you to leave, either the God you remembered was gone from the preaching and teaching of that place, or perhaps was still present but you no longer longed for that God.
If you are still in a faith community the question has a slightly different meaning, at least it does for me. I find myself looking at my own journey in what I longed for or needed and therefore believed about God as true today as it was 46 years ago? My hunch is no it is not, that as I have in other aspects of my life, things have changed yet stayed the same. At least the way I view and experience God has evolved over time.
And perhaps the question is different if you are new to faith or have returned after an extended absence. What was the longing in your heart? Was it something nostalgic or was it something very new?
Some claim that God never changes, we change. The Bible seems to say something different. God does change and so do we. Sometimes we change in response to God, sometimes our changes are on parallel tracks.
Blessings,
Ed
Anyone who has ever been involved in a faith community probably has had to ask that question from time to time. If you are no longer in a faith community that very question may be what caused you to leave, either the God you remembered was gone from the preaching and teaching of that place, or perhaps was still present but you no longer longed for that God.
If you are still in a faith community the question has a slightly different meaning, at least it does for me. I find myself looking at my own journey in what I longed for or needed and therefore believed about God as true today as it was 46 years ago? My hunch is no it is not, that as I have in other aspects of my life, things have changed yet stayed the same. At least the way I view and experience God has evolved over time.
And perhaps the question is different if you are new to faith or have returned after an extended absence. What was the longing in your heart? Was it something nostalgic or was it something very new?
Some claim that God never changes, we change. The Bible seems to say something different. God does change and so do we. Sometimes we change in response to God, sometimes our changes are on parallel tracks.
Blessings,
Ed
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