Reflections for 6/7/10

"All of us discover after a while in ministry that the people we think we are saving are really saving us. It's a wonderful discovery after coming out of the seminary thinking we are going to save souls. It's the way God set up the Church: We all save one another in spite of ourselves. Maybe that's what we mean when we say that Christ saves us. Surely, none of us save ourselves."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 212)

If you were to talk to most clergy, they will tell you that when they graduated from seminary they thought they new it all. We'd been given all these creative ways to do ministry. All these new fangled ways to do liturgy. We knew more about the Bible than we did when we entered. We had been exposed to and probably latched onto some theology that now was what the whole world needed to hear.

Then we are suddenly placed in a parish and we find that we haven't been taught nearly anything that will actually help us minister in this world. Because we weren't really taught how to differentiate leadership vs. power. We aren't really taught how to be collegial with those who are not ordained. And then we find that without them, and in battling the lay folk, we lose.

The key of course is to not become so deflated over this. But instead to seek ways to find out how to be Christ to one another.

It is not easy to do when you feel you've been anointed as resident holy spokesperson. Yet that role is only fun when everything is going your way, which isn't very long.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflections for 6/6/10

"The Catholic understanding of Christianity, at its best, does not emphasize how to get you in the skies, but how to get your feet on the ground, how to get in touch with the real. Truly Catholic Christianity tells us how to get into society, into history, tied to the common good, how to be part of the muddiness and fleshiness of it all. We at the body of Chris; we don't just reflect on his ideas. That's primal, archetypal, transformative energy."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 211)

While I am not a Catholic, as in Roman, I do understand the aspect of Eucharistic theology that Fr. Rohr is talking about.

As I reflect on my own faith journey, it has been receiving communion on a weekly basis that has been what empowers me through the muddiness of the rest of the week.

You may recall the V8 commercials where people were walking tilting to the right because they weren't balanced. That is in some ways how communion has been for me. The work and ministry I do the rest of the week is fueled and given meaning by what I receive on Sunday morning. It doesn't save me, faith does that. But it is an essential part of my ongoing salvation.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflections for 6/5/10

"Merton had enough freedom from the system to be able to understand the system and creatively critique it. He was enough apart from it to, in fact, enter back into it with insight, knowing what the questions are and often having the correct responses. That's the simple definition of a prophet."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 210)

It is often true that the best way to fully get what's going on and to formulate an appropriate response requires some distance. A retreat leader I once heard called it stepping onto the balcony.

If I'm too caught up in what is going on, I lose perspective. I'm merely engaging in the manic of the moment, which is usually not the most prayerful place to be. There is also a real chance that I might react in a negative or defensive way, rather than a thoughtful and helpful way.

I also know that I will listen to critiques from those who are still invested in the process, institution etc.

Folks like Thomas Merton seemed to know how to keep one foot in the institution while giving enough space not to be eaten alive by it. When I give myself room for perspective, I'm sometimes truly astounded by how much clearer what's really going on becomes, and how the solution is really right there.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflections for 6/4/10

"Brothers and sisters, the irony is not that God should feel so fiercely; it's that his creatures feels so feebly. If there is nothing in your life to cry about, if there is nothing in your life to complain about, if there is nothing in your life to yell about, you must be out of touch. We mus all feel and know the pain of humanity. The free space that God leads us into is to feel the full spectrum form great exaltation and joy, to the pain of mourning and dying and suffering. It's called the Paschal Mystery. The totally free person is one who can feel all of it and not be afraid of any of it." (R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 209)

I'd be the last person to say that I'm looking for more pain and suffering in my life. While I have not had the level of suffering and misfortune that others have had, I've experienced enough that I can empathize and even walk with those who are hurting.

I remember when my grandfather was in his last couple of months. He was in a lot of pain, he was confined to a nursing home facility, and yet he could not face his own mortality. We had enough conversations about this until there came a point where I believe he let go of the fear and within weeks died peacefully.

While I do not wish people would die, I'm not overcome when being with folks who are dying or mourning. I'm not a cold unfeeling fish. Hey even Jesus wept. But I see it as a privilege to walk with folks at that point.

When suffering and loss hit even closer to home for me, I hope that the same calmness will be with me, I also hope and trust that others will walk with me then.

Thankfully the good times are just as numerous if not more so than the sad. It is my faith that helps me to not be afraid of everything going right or wrong, but fully understanding that on our earthly pilgrimage, there will always be highs and lows and together they make for a fairly exciting journey.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflections for 6/3/10

"Christians are afraid to believe how deep, real and powerful that relationship is between companions of Jesus, those who are on the same path together, who eat the same food."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 208)

One of the aspects of the Christian faith that still perplexes me is the Christian on Christian attacks that flare up every now and then. When folks who share that companionship with Jesus decide that some other companion of Jesus isn't worthy. They start jabbing verbally, throwing loaded words at each other, until instead of a unified mission, revolving around spreading the good news of Jesus Christ, we act as if we are two wrestlers in the WWE.

Part of this stems from our fear of others, in earlier times you had the Catholic/Protestant mistrust, which really had more to do with hatred of immigrants than any truly deep theology. Now it's the mainliners vs. the non-denominationals, each with their mutual accusations, missing the heart of the biblical witness about the body of Christ.

I will say that in those times of ecumenical cooperation, granted mainly among Christians, great things have occurred.

When I'm able to see in my non-Episcopalian brothers and sisters in Christ, that they too love Jesus and want to serve him in the service of others, I start to believe that there is hope.

I'm not saying that denominations, even one's that claim to be non-denominational are not necessary. They are because we all have different ways of worshipping which speak to the wide variety of folks. It is that central point of who Jesus is for us that should unite Christians. Unfortunately we some more interested in our points of disagreement. Maybe we really are afraid of what a unified front could positively do for a hurting world.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflections for 6/2/10

"We have no real rights. There is nothing we have to have. When you lose your friend, your lover, your life-giver, you can curse God and say, Why was he taken? why was she take? or you can say, Why was she given at all? You can say, Why is love gone? or you can say, Why did I even deserve a second of this life? God is creator and I am creature. God created me out of nothing and some years back I did not exist at all."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 208)

As an American I love to trumpet about my rights. I especially love when my kids tell me about their rights, and I remind them, half jesting of course, that they have the right to remain silent.

It is true that beyond food, water and shelter there is little I have to have. I am glad for my family and my friends, but when they are gone, I hope to miss them, though not despair.

Whenever I've had loss in my life, I've tried to go back to a place of thankfulness for the time I had with some folks, or the experiences that I've had. For me it beats constantly being stuck in lament mode.

All that I have, my family, my job, my health, the experiences that have brought me thus far, are all gifts from God. I didn't deserve them, nor do I have a right to them. But I'm sure glad I have and have had them.

Blessings,
Ed

Reflections for 6/1/10

"The primary temptation is to cover ourselves with roles, controls, successes and satisfying explanations. The mind will discover a million ways to cover itself from its fears and it emptiness. But praying is living in a lover's world with no need to affirm or deny, judge or justify. Praying is the unexpected uncovering of perfect goodness after we have done so many things wrong. There is no other place to begin listening or living. Payer is the only foundation we can trust in ourselves."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 206-207)

I've always believed prayer is a conversation with God. Granted one that often feels like a one way conversation but one where if I'm willing to be quiet, I might actually hear something unexpected.

It is interesting how in most of my human conversations there is an awful lot of what I'll call posturing. What do I have to show for myself. What are my excuses for my shortcomings. And yet prayer would be very silly if I tried to explain myself to God. Since God already knows what I've done, and also knows the motivations, both positive and negative.

There is a part of me that believes that God just sits there with a bemused look on his face as I go through all my excuses and yet still finds a way to love Ed and try to help him get back on track.

I'm not sure I deserve that much patience, but I give thanks for that amazing level of grace towards me.

Blessings,
Ed