Today is Valentine's Day. A day I've literally had a love hate relationship with for years. My earliest recollections of this day are from elementary school, which was probably where the hate part of my feelings towards this holiday arise.
Like many I had to cut out valentines and bring them in for everyone. We would pass them out and receive them too. Whether what I'm about to say actually occurred or not I can't prove 40 years later, but the feeling has never gone away. Since I did not feel very popular or that most of my classmates liked me, let alone loved me, I felt like Charlie Brown.
I also will admit that my hate relationship with this holiday is that it feels like a marketing ploy, and puts a price on love. Though I do play along because I have a special person in my life, and that is what makes me love the holiday.
I also know that while I am blessed with having a special person in my life and have had 23 Valentine's Days with her. It is not true for everyone. And what sort of kick in gut watching this might be for those without someone to love or be loved by.
So I turn to one way that even I might consider entering even more fully into this day of celebrating love and look at St. Paul's definition and see how I'm doing in being "love."
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
Maybe towards my wife and in fact towards most people I come in contact with, this may mean more than any candy, special dinner or flowers.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Reflections for 1/26/12
"When we move beyond the safety of everyone else's approval and stand firmly upon our own, we assume responsibility for own own apostolate."(Speaking to the Soul Vicki K. Black p. 21)
I am certain that one of my flaws is that I am a people pleaser. An apple polisher as a youth. While I have tried to become firmer in my resolve to do what I believe to be right, I often fall prey to the fear that someone might get upset. And of course the reality is that no matter what we do, someone is going to be upset.
When we are able to stand on our own, without seeking the approval of others, we may in fact find that the very thing we actually receive, because we didn't make that the end, is in fact approval. When folks can look at us as someone who is consistent in where they stand, and yet not in a way that makes them rigid and heartless, we move closer to being the real person that we are called to be.
As a Christian I am called to the service of others, but not so that they'll applaud me.
Blessings,
Ed
I am certain that one of my flaws is that I am a people pleaser. An apple polisher as a youth. While I have tried to become firmer in my resolve to do what I believe to be right, I often fall prey to the fear that someone might get upset. And of course the reality is that no matter what we do, someone is going to be upset.
When we are able to stand on our own, without seeking the approval of others, we may in fact find that the very thing we actually receive, because we didn't make that the end, is in fact approval. When folks can look at us as someone who is consistent in where they stand, and yet not in a way that makes them rigid and heartless, we move closer to being the real person that we are called to be.
As a Christian I am called to the service of others, but not so that they'll applaud me.
Blessings,
Ed
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Reflections for 1/24/12
One of the hazards of being a clergy person is that you might get called on the spot to say a prayer, offer a blessing, invocation etc. I know it is in the job description and I really don't have a problem with it and generally have not been taken to task for any prayers I've ever offered.
It has happened to me twice where someone has taken umbrage with how I prayed. The first time came when I was accosted after offering an opening prayer at the beginning of town soccer season. A fellow Christian decided that since I didn't pray in Jesus' name I was clearly ashamed of him and I should never be ashamed of our Lord. Of course I'm not ashamed, and tried to point out that we should be thankful I was asked to pray at all in this day and age.
But I heard some of what she said and tried to adapt by ending my more public with prayers with "in Jesus name I pray." And that seemed fine until last night. This time I was asked on the spot not given any advance notice. The usual "chaplain" had not shown up to the meeting, would I mind? Sure why not. After offering the invocation and the benediction at the end, up came the parliamentarian to tell me I had violated the rules and that I was only allowed to offer non-sectarian prayers.
I replied that I didn't feel I could do that, and in the future I would just decline the invitation. It did however get me thinking, what in the world makes something a non-sectarian prayer? I sort of know the answer you don't invoke specific deities. But I do wonder if I'm there in clericals how am I not clearly a sectarian. Would a doctor be asked to not use medical terminology, or a lawyer legal terms when speaking? Probably not. I also wondered if it was only Christians that aren't allowed to pray in their tradition these days. I honestly haven't seen a rabbi or imman or other faith leader ever asked so I don't know if they take the sect out of their prayers. And this doesn't even begin to address how an atheist might receive any kind of prayer.
I know this actually isn't a huge issue. No hungry people will be fed, or oppressed people set free over it. But for the moment it was a total distraction.
Blessings,
Ed
It has happened to me twice where someone has taken umbrage with how I prayed. The first time came when I was accosted after offering an opening prayer at the beginning of town soccer season. A fellow Christian decided that since I didn't pray in Jesus' name I was clearly ashamed of him and I should never be ashamed of our Lord. Of course I'm not ashamed, and tried to point out that we should be thankful I was asked to pray at all in this day and age.
But I heard some of what she said and tried to adapt by ending my more public with prayers with "in Jesus name I pray." And that seemed fine until last night. This time I was asked on the spot not given any advance notice. The usual "chaplain" had not shown up to the meeting, would I mind? Sure why not. After offering the invocation and the benediction at the end, up came the parliamentarian to tell me I had violated the rules and that I was only allowed to offer non-sectarian prayers.
I replied that I didn't feel I could do that, and in the future I would just decline the invitation. It did however get me thinking, what in the world makes something a non-sectarian prayer? I sort of know the answer you don't invoke specific deities. But I do wonder if I'm there in clericals how am I not clearly a sectarian. Would a doctor be asked to not use medical terminology, or a lawyer legal terms when speaking? Probably not. I also wondered if it was only Christians that aren't allowed to pray in their tradition these days. I honestly haven't seen a rabbi or imman or other faith leader ever asked so I don't know if they take the sect out of their prayers. And this doesn't even begin to address how an atheist might receive any kind of prayer.
I know this actually isn't a huge issue. No hungry people will be fed, or oppressed people set free over it. But for the moment it was a total distraction.
Blessings,
Ed
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Reflections for 1/21/12
"In the west Christians tended to meet their ancestors through the worship space, liturgy, and calendar of the church."(Speaking to the Soul Vicki K. Black, p.17)
All of our lives have history. We have our own personal story and we have those of our ancestors. We also have "heroes" within our lives. They can be religious, sports, vocational and familial.
There are also places we go to that give significance to who we are and whence we come. For me I have specific places that have deep meaning for me. They have memories, and associations that still feed my soul. Haddonfield and Ocean City New Jersey are two places. Copake Falls NY is becoming such a place. I rediscovered how important Grinnell Iowa is to me.
I certainly feel a deep connection to my faith past anytime I'm in church. I'm not wedded to any specific building or building type, but there is definitely a liturgical practice and hymnody that speaks to me.
What are the places in your life that are important to you? What are the "liturgies" of your life, whether church or not, that connect you to something beyond yourself?
Blessings,
Ed
All of our lives have history. We have our own personal story and we have those of our ancestors. We also have "heroes" within our lives. They can be religious, sports, vocational and familial.
There are also places we go to that give significance to who we are and whence we come. For me I have specific places that have deep meaning for me. They have memories, and associations that still feed my soul. Haddonfield and Ocean City New Jersey are two places. Copake Falls NY is becoming such a place. I rediscovered how important Grinnell Iowa is to me.
I certainly feel a deep connection to my faith past anytime I'm in church. I'm not wedded to any specific building or building type, but there is definitely a liturgical practice and hymnody that speaks to me.
What are the places in your life that are important to you? What are the "liturgies" of your life, whether church or not, that connect you to something beyond yourself?
Blessings,
Ed
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Reflections for 1/12/12
"There are four qualities which characterize a friend: loyalty, right intention, discretion, and patience." Aelred of Rievaulx
Today at our service we commemorated Aelred a 12th century monk. You probably don't know much about him unless you're a real church junky. All of the readings for his day revolved around friendship.
I certainly have friends. On Facebook I have well over 500. Some of these are people I see regularly. Some are of course relatives and others people from various chapters of my life. Only a few are people I have never met outside of that medium.
If I were to apply Aelred's qualities of friendship, I know that my best friend Gail meets all four. I have two others people that I feel meet those four for sure.
I do try to relate to all people, no matter who they are and what are relationship is, in a similar fashion. If you count me as a friend you probably have my loyalty unless you really burn me. I try to interact with right intention and certainly to use discretion and be patient with most.
Who are your friends? What are the characteristics that are important to you in determining who your friends are? Are they as old as Aelred's, or do we have different litmus tests these days?
Blessings,
Ed
Today at our service we commemorated Aelred a 12th century monk. You probably don't know much about him unless you're a real church junky. All of the readings for his day revolved around friendship.
I certainly have friends. On Facebook I have well over 500. Some of these are people I see regularly. Some are of course relatives and others people from various chapters of my life. Only a few are people I have never met outside of that medium.
If I were to apply Aelred's qualities of friendship, I know that my best friend Gail meets all four. I have two others people that I feel meet those four for sure.
I do try to relate to all people, no matter who they are and what are relationship is, in a similar fashion. If you count me as a friend you probably have my loyalty unless you really burn me. I try to interact with right intention and certainly to use discretion and be patient with most.
Who are your friends? What are the characteristics that are important to you in determining who your friends are? Are they as old as Aelred's, or do we have different litmus tests these days?
Blessings,
Ed
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Reflections for 1/8/12
"You are my beloved son, in you I am well pleased."
These are the words that we are told in the Gospel's that were said to, or about Jesus at his baptism. Powerful words actually. From that moment on Jesus went off into the world teaching, healing, forgiving and acting as compassionately to a hurting world as he had the power to do. All of it though starting with a word of encouragement, an empowering sentence if you will. An affirmation of faith in, before anything had actually been done. I know that I do much better when I hear positive things about me. I can even name people who have said close to such things that have helped me to achieve what I'm capable of, even when I didn't believe it to be possible.
As I checked into the social media sites today, I was amazed at all the proclamations about how much God loves Tim Tebow. After all God really must love him to let him win a football game. Because by all accounts he's not a very good passer. His team was .500. The odds were not really in his favor and yet his team came out victorious in the end. They didn't destroy the Steelers mind you, but a win is a win.
I do believe Tim Tebow is a beloved child of God, I do not believe that God rewarded that status with a win for the Broncos. The Steelers have their share of Evangelical Christians too. What is intriguing to me about Tim Tebow is not that he is so much more blessed than me or anyone else. But how he seems to have translated that beloved child of God status and used it to bring something much deeper to the surface and intangible that goes beyond any actual talent he has. Lord knows he's a better football player than I am, I know that God loves me just as much.
I also if some people realize that they are actually making fun of Tim's beliefs with statements about God loving him more. Tim being a person of faith will give credit to God for giving him more talent than most of us have at playing football. And for giving him the one thing he and certainly share a belief that we've been given what we need to succeed and be happy with what we are able to do.
Congratulations Broncos and all the other teams that won. Now if we could get as excited about ending hunger, poverty, hatred and war because those are things God actually cares about.
Blessings,
Ed
These are the words that we are told in the Gospel's that were said to, or about Jesus at his baptism. Powerful words actually. From that moment on Jesus went off into the world teaching, healing, forgiving and acting as compassionately to a hurting world as he had the power to do. All of it though starting with a word of encouragement, an empowering sentence if you will. An affirmation of faith in, before anything had actually been done. I know that I do much better when I hear positive things about me. I can even name people who have said close to such things that have helped me to achieve what I'm capable of, even when I didn't believe it to be possible.
As I checked into the social media sites today, I was amazed at all the proclamations about how much God loves Tim Tebow. After all God really must love him to let him win a football game. Because by all accounts he's not a very good passer. His team was .500. The odds were not really in his favor and yet his team came out victorious in the end. They didn't destroy the Steelers mind you, but a win is a win.
I do believe Tim Tebow is a beloved child of God, I do not believe that God rewarded that status with a win for the Broncos. The Steelers have their share of Evangelical Christians too. What is intriguing to me about Tim Tebow is not that he is so much more blessed than me or anyone else. But how he seems to have translated that beloved child of God status and used it to bring something much deeper to the surface and intangible that goes beyond any actual talent he has. Lord knows he's a better football player than I am, I know that God loves me just as much.
I also if some people realize that they are actually making fun of Tim's beliefs with statements about God loving him more. Tim being a person of faith will give credit to God for giving him more talent than most of us have at playing football. And for giving him the one thing he and certainly share a belief that we've been given what we need to succeed and be happy with what we are able to do.
Congratulations Broncos and all the other teams that won. Now if we could get as excited about ending hunger, poverty, hatred and war because those are things God actually cares about.
Blessings,
Ed
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Reflections for 1/3/12
Today is the Iowa Caucus. The first round of attempting to figure out who a political party's presidential candidate will be. This year happens to be only about Republicans as the Democrats have a seated president.
You may wonder why a Democrat from New Jersey is reflecting on Iowa Caucuses? It isn't so much that I care about the results, frankly I don't. What it did was take me back 25 years to when I actually did participate in the Caucus. As a "resident" in Iowa, I was going to college there, I went to the Caucus to see what it was all about. I don't know if my presence made a difference. If I recall the person who invited me was supporting Bruce Babbitt.
It was interesting however to see how this very different way of choosing worked. I don't know if it would work in a densely populated state such as New Jersey, but the concept of neighbors talking with each other about why they liked a particular candidate is intriguing. I don't recall too much name calling in the caucus sight. You might actually have had to come with some supporting reason for your choice without engaging in character assassination.
And maybe that's why I found it interesting. It revealed that it can be possible for people with different opinions to be in the same room and still remain cordial. A good model not only for politics but for life in general.
Blessings,
Ed
You may wonder why a Democrat from New Jersey is reflecting on Iowa Caucuses? It isn't so much that I care about the results, frankly I don't. What it did was take me back 25 years to when I actually did participate in the Caucus. As a "resident" in Iowa, I was going to college there, I went to the Caucus to see what it was all about. I don't know if my presence made a difference. If I recall the person who invited me was supporting Bruce Babbitt.
It was interesting however to see how this very different way of choosing worked. I don't know if it would work in a densely populated state such as New Jersey, but the concept of neighbors talking with each other about why they liked a particular candidate is intriguing. I don't recall too much name calling in the caucus sight. You might actually have had to come with some supporting reason for your choice without engaging in character assassination.
And maybe that's why I found it interesting. It revealed that it can be possible for people with different opinions to be in the same room and still remain cordial. A good model not only for politics but for life in general.
Blessings,
Ed
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
