"I believe without the miracles I have prayed for then; that is what I am explaining. I believe because certain uncertain things have happened, dim half-miracles, sermons and silences and what not. Perhaps it is my believing itself that is the miracle I believe by. Perhaps it is the miracle of my own life." (F. Buechner "Listening to Your Life" p.92)
I have seen "miracles." Miracles for me are phenomenon that occur that defy explanation. When the scientists can offer no plausible explanation. When doctors are baffled by recovery, although it is possible they just misdiagnosed.
I have also seen things that are not as stunning, but miraculous none the less. When something feels so hopeless and then through no effort on my part, changes.
And to believe in an era with so much information, and so many new discoveries might seem miraculous. Though its probably more a belief in continuing revelation.
And yet probably the greatest miracle is that I'm alive, loved and in some small way making a difference in the world in which I live.
Blessings,
Ed
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Reflections for 4/6/11
"Not the least of my problems is that I can hardly even imagine what kind of an experience a genuine, self-authenticating religious experience would be. without somehow destroying me in the process, how could God reveal himself in a way that would leave no room for doubt/ If there were no room for doubt, there would no room for me."(F. Buechner "Listening to Your Life" p.91)
Much like Buechner I haven't had one of those types of religious experiences. No lightening bolts, no road to Damascus in my faith journey. I somehow seem to have always just known, or been very open to the possibility that "proof," whatever that might be, has not been anything I've needed or desired.
I certainly have had questions that might be construed as doubt by some. Since I don't read scripture literally, but see it as containing incredibly deep truths, it has allowed for room in my mind and heart to the reality of God for me.
Blessings,
Ed
Much like Buechner I haven't had one of those types of religious experiences. No lightening bolts, no road to Damascus in my faith journey. I somehow seem to have always just known, or been very open to the possibility that "proof," whatever that might be, has not been anything I've needed or desired.
I certainly have had questions that might be construed as doubt by some. Since I don't read scripture literally, but see it as containing incredibly deep truths, it has allowed for room in my mind and heart to the reality of God for me.
Blessings,
Ed
Reflections for 4/5/11
"Such faith as I have, where did it come from and why?"
I know some folks who consider "faith" to come from brainwashing. Obviously I don't agree with them, but everybody's entitled to their opinion.
Jesus, once taught about faith the size of mustard seeds, and seeds being planted on different soils. So I'll give credit to my parents for planting the seed. Watering it, along with others, but ultimately letting God and me do the work.
I think the "soil" of ourselves is what really determines what happens with "faith." There are folks who have the seeds planted but are never watered or taken care of and have no chance. There are others for whom all the care in the world can be given, but it is just not for them, for whatever reason.
I know the faith that I have continues to evolve and it comes from that relationship with God that I've tended too these 45 years. As to the why, that's probably what the tending is for.
Blessings,
Ed
I know some folks who consider "faith" to come from brainwashing. Obviously I don't agree with them, but everybody's entitled to their opinion.
Jesus, once taught about faith the size of mustard seeds, and seeds being planted on different soils. So I'll give credit to my parents for planting the seed. Watering it, along with others, but ultimately letting God and me do the work.
I think the "soil" of ourselves is what really determines what happens with "faith." There are folks who have the seeds planted but are never watered or taken care of and have no chance. There are others for whom all the care in the world can be given, but it is just not for them, for whatever reason.
I know the faith that I have continues to evolve and it comes from that relationship with God that I've tended too these 45 years. As to the why, that's probably what the tending is for.
Blessings,
Ed
Reflections for 4/4/11
"Follow your feet. Put on the coffee. Start the orange juice, the bacon, the toast. Then go wake up your children and your wife. think aout the work of your hands, the book that of all conceivable things you have chosen to add to the world's pain. Live in the needs of the day." (F. Buechner "Listening to Your Life" p. 89)
Ah yes, the daily routine. Most of us have them. My alarm goes off at 6 a.m. most days. I head for the bathroom, deal with the cats, start making the lunches, and by 7 am make sure the other three people in the house are moving, then go take my morning walk. There of course is coffee and breakfast before the day gets really rolling, and most importantly that daily shower where I do most of my thinking.
I may ponder some of the bigger wish list things to do, but I try to stay focused in the hear and now. I keep remembering Jesus' words, not to worry about tomorrow, today's worries being enough for today. Funny how he says that after telling me not to worry.
But if I go to far afield in the bigger dreaming of the might be's I often lose track of the need to nows. And those needs start to really howl when they get ignored.
Blessings,
Ed
Ah yes, the daily routine. Most of us have them. My alarm goes off at 6 a.m. most days. I head for the bathroom, deal with the cats, start making the lunches, and by 7 am make sure the other three people in the house are moving, then go take my morning walk. There of course is coffee and breakfast before the day gets really rolling, and most importantly that daily shower where I do most of my thinking.
I may ponder some of the bigger wish list things to do, but I try to stay focused in the hear and now. I keep remembering Jesus' words, not to worry about tomorrow, today's worries being enough for today. Funny how he says that after telling me not to worry.
But if I go to far afield in the bigger dreaming of the might be's I often lose track of the need to nows. And those needs start to really howl when they get ignored.
Blessings,
Ed
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Reflections for 4/3/11
"You are alive. It needn't have been so. But it is so now. And what is it like: to be alive in this maybe one place of all places anywhere where life is? Live a day of it and see. Take any day and be alive in it. Nobody claims that it will be entirely painless, but no matter. It is your birthday, and there are many present to open. The world is to open." (F.Buechner "Listening to Your Life" p. 88)
I'm not sure who said this, "today is the first day of the rest of your life." I know I could look it up, but not right now. I find it to be true no matter who said it first. From the moment I wake up and stay awake, it is a new start. While I have a general idea of what might happen each day, there is always some twist or bend that comes unexpectedly. Sometimes these unexpected things are really cool. Other times not so much.
I don't try to avoid any days. I haven't had any where I didn't want to get up and see what might be on tap for that moment. I try to be as alive and engaged in the moments that come my way. I find it makes life more interesting.
While my life is fairly predictable and for the most part not all that exciting. That may be why those moments that don't fit neatly into the day's agenda are the ones I look forward to the most.
Blessings,
Ed
I'm not sure who said this, "today is the first day of the rest of your life." I know I could look it up, but not right now. I find it to be true no matter who said it first. From the moment I wake up and stay awake, it is a new start. While I have a general idea of what might happen each day, there is always some twist or bend that comes unexpectedly. Sometimes these unexpected things are really cool. Other times not so much.
I don't try to avoid any days. I haven't had any where I didn't want to get up and see what might be on tap for that moment. I try to be as alive and engaged in the moments that come my way. I find it makes life more interesting.
While my life is fairly predictable and for the most part not all that exciting. That may be why those moments that don't fit neatly into the day's agenda are the ones I look forward to the most.
Blessings,
Ed
Reflections for 4/2/11
"More than any other part of me, my face is the part where most of the time I live." (F. Buechner "Listening to Your Life" p. 86)
Today we celebrated the life of Marla Broughton. She may not be world reknown, but here at Holy Trinity Wenonah, she was perhaps the single greatest contributer to the atmosphere of this place. Priests have come and gone, but the mark that she left was one that continues to permeate.
I bring her to mind not just because today was her funeral, but because of her smile. If you were to ask anyone who knew her, that smile is what comes immediately to mind. It was a smile that was present all the time, because it was rooted in a joy for life, a love for others and a belief that God truly loved her.
Even in her final years of battling ALS, that smile was still present whenever I visited her. The joy of seeing a friend just brought it out. And I could be reminded that if Marla could smile, even given what she was dealing with, I should attempt to do so also.
Our faces really do speak volumes of what we are thinking and feeling. And even when we "make a face" sometimes another part of that face gives the real meaning.
Blessings,
Ed
Today we celebrated the life of Marla Broughton. She may not be world reknown, but here at Holy Trinity Wenonah, she was perhaps the single greatest contributer to the atmosphere of this place. Priests have come and gone, but the mark that she left was one that continues to permeate.
I bring her to mind not just because today was her funeral, but because of her smile. If you were to ask anyone who knew her, that smile is what comes immediately to mind. It was a smile that was present all the time, because it was rooted in a joy for life, a love for others and a belief that God truly loved her.
Even in her final years of battling ALS, that smile was still present whenever I visited her. The joy of seeing a friend just brought it out. And I could be reminded that if Marla could smile, even given what she was dealing with, I should attempt to do so also.
Our faces really do speak volumes of what we are thinking and feeling. And even when we "make a face" sometimes another part of that face gives the real meaning.
Blessings,
Ed
Friday, April 1, 2011
Reflections for 4/1/11
"if you want to know who you are, watch your feet. Because where your feet take you, that is who you are." (F. Buechner "Listening to Your Life" p. 86)
Okay my feet, where do they take me? First all around my house. I am a member of a family I play a role in relationship to three other humans. I am also a cat owner so my feet take me to the door to let them out and to the kitchen to feed them.
I walk most mornings with two other guys. I'm a social person.
I walk to work, not because I'm environmentally driven, but because my office is 100 feet from my front door. I know I'm a priest because I walk there.
When I leave the car I will walk to the ball park. I'm a sports fan.
I love to walk in the woods, I'm an outdoorsy type.
My feet haven't failed me yet.
And since I consider all of life a walk with God, I must be a person of faith.
Blessings,
Ed
Okay my feet, where do they take me? First all around my house. I am a member of a family I play a role in relationship to three other humans. I am also a cat owner so my feet take me to the door to let them out and to the kitchen to feed them.
I walk most mornings with two other guys. I'm a social person.
I walk to work, not because I'm environmentally driven, but because my office is 100 feet from my front door. I know I'm a priest because I walk there.
When I leave the car I will walk to the ball park. I'm a sports fan.
I love to walk in the woods, I'm an outdoorsy type.
My feet haven't failed me yet.
And since I consider all of life a walk with God, I must be a person of faith.
Blessings,
Ed
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