"We are forced to ask the question after the blessing with the sick, after the dipping in the water, Well, why aren't they healed? And if you and I are asking that, imagine how they are asking that. And yet, can you believe the joy, although it must be tinged with disappointment, that we see on so many of their faces? The miracle of Lourdes is a miracle of faith. It's a miracle that is not immediately visible: People are not always healed. And yet we have to believe something deeply life-giving is happening here, and that's God's work. God is creating life on earth Just hold on to that. It happens in a thousand different ways, and the most important ways are in the heart."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 248)
Why wasn't my prayer answered? Why do seemingly miraculous things occur for some and not others? Those are some of the hardest questions that a priest or really any person of faith gets asked. They come not only from people who have little to know faith, but even from those who have great faith. Disappointment is very hard to deal with.
I know that there are times when we want a quick answer to those questions and usually they turn out to be the worst kind. You didn't pray hard enough. Your faith is weak. God sometimes says no. I try to avoid those little pithy, dismissive answers and try to look harder for what might not be obvious.
Those are the thousand different ways. I sometimes get prayer answered in ways that I don't expect. When it is only my vision of how things should play out that disappointment often follows. When I get past that, then I usually discover the answer that was given. The gift, the healing etc. When I finally see that I'm rarely disappointed.
That doesn't mean that I won't pray for specific things for myself or others. But that the follow up will be more of listening for or seeing the surprise, that is often more obvious than I realize at the time.
Blessings,
Ed
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