Reflections for 5/11

"People who turn you off, people you're afraid of, have a message for you. We reject and hate our own faults in others. I'm not saying you have to go out and become best friends with them, but you should put up your antennae: They're triggering something within you. You need them."(R. Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 182)

I consider myself to be a reasonably flexible person. I will tend to try and find the good in most people. That is not to say that I want everyone to be my buddy. There are folks whose company I will take in very small doses. There are also those for whom their opinions are so important to them that any disagreement with those opinions will become suddenly a personal attack on them. I'll have to admit that is a real turn off for me.

So why should I pay any attention to folks who don't see the world the same way I do? I see two reasons: 1) By engaging them, I can get clearer about what I actually believe. 2) Perhaps they can help me understand something about myself.

What is that side of me that I ignore, because it bothers me. That by ignoring it, I hope it goes away or at least unnoticed. But the real question is when my buttons get pushed, is to take the time to ask, why did that bother me so much?

The answer to that question is one that I believe can come through prayer. By asking God to help me understand those folks who push my buttons, but also why my buttons get pushed. To ask for the grace to go beyond those feelings into a place of not necessarily agreeing but at least understanding.

I do have friends for whom there are places of disagreement with, politically, religiously and even on sports teams. Yet I can value them for the places of agreement, and not look to always convert them to my way of seeing things.

Blessings,
Ed