"It's so humiliating to know that God uses your sin for God's purposes. We are imperfect, we are full of compulsions, yet this how we've been created by God! It's humiliating, but it's so freeing! Your sins and your gifts are two sides of the same coin. It seems you can't have one without the other."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 182)
If you have ever struggled with some kind of addiction or compulsion you know how hard it is to face yourself. As I exercise these days, I find that the mirrors in the gym are very revealing. While I have often thought that they were there so that the muscle headed narcissists could adore themselves, I have found that as I watch myself struggle with exercise, do to being overweight, I'm reminded of the overindulging of eating that brought me to this place. It's humiliating, since I knew what I once was, but is also a reminder of who I might be able to become.
They point to two sides of Ed, the overweight one and the one who loves himself enough to want to be healthy again. Without the weight problem there might be no motivation to exercise.
The sin doesn't have to cling so close anymore when you can face it, acknowledge it and choose to allow God to use it to get you back on track.
Blessings,
Ed
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