"Dying and dissolution continue to strike fear in me. Death itself does not. Ten years ago if somebody had offered me a vigorous, healthy life that would never end, I would have said yes. Today I think I would say no. I love my life as much as I ever did and will cling on to it for as long as I can, but life without death has become as unthinkable to me as day without night or waking without sleep."(F. Buechner "Listening to Your Life." p. 172)
I'm not afraid of death either. And while I'm not death defying by any stretch, I do believe in living life fully. I too would reject never ending life on earth, unless you could guarantee the same for everyone and not bring anymore people in. And that is ridiculous.
I certainly have enough experience being with dying folks to not let it destroy me. I'm not saying that it is easy to be present in that moment, but it comes with the territory.
When I think of retirement I sometimes dream of going to the local animal shelter and saying I'd like the large old dog that has a few good years in them, that no one else seems to want. Take em for walks, have them sit with me while I read or watch a ball game and let them die happy and loved.
And maybe that's my hope for myself as well. Enjoy life for as long as I have it, and when I die let me be happy and loved.
Blessings,
Ed
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