"Western men need liberation from the whole set of expectations taht culture puts upon us and we put upon ourselves: to be overachievers, competitive, focused and necessarily unfeeling, successful, hard-and-strong cannon fodder for wars. That pressure is instilled from boyhood, both by women and other men. Both mena and women profit from it; both men and women suffer from it."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p.306)
The firs weekend of the pro-football season, except for the Monday night games, is over. Football here in America is the quinnessential example of the macho image. I do like football by the way. I do find it interesting how tied into the self-image of many is the success or failure of football teams, both pro and collegiate.
I also understand fully those expectations that Fr. Rohr talks about. I've had to fight the dualism of jock/non-jock world, I've got a little of both in me. What the biggest internal struggle is not to see them as polar opposites fighting for control of Ed, but instead two pieces of a much larger and complex puzzle.
I do like achievement. I take great pride in my college and seminary degrees, and in being an Eagle Scout. I doubt anyone would accuse me of being an overachiever. Sometimes I feel like an underachiever. The reality is probably closer to I achieve those things that I'm supposed to, nothing more, nothing less.
I'm not all that competitive. I enjoy participating and doing, unless there's cash involved I don't really care if I win or not. That attitude probably kept me from ever being a great individual athlete, but a pretty decent teammate.
None of those expectations that Fr. Rohr speaks of are actually bad. They become bad when in attempting to be them, we lose sight of the bigger mural of who we are. When in attempting to live into those expectations we start to take short cuts.
Blessings,
Ed
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