"What parents go throuh to raise children is above and beyond the call of duty. Yet they rise to the occasion more often than not. I can see why God ordered the continuation of the human race through parenting: God had to find a way for all of us to get out of ourselves. We need reality checks that are simply there, like a brick wall, that demand a response, with no room for choice or 'discernment.' That's the best way to become holy. It's not what you do, it's what you allwo to be done to you."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 313)
Of my several vocations, the one as parent is the one I find the most challenging, tiring and rewarding. All of us come from this vocation. Some people are blessed with decent parents, not perfect, because that would not be real. Some regretably had lousy parents and either followed the pattern or broke free and became decent people in spite of.
I'm not sure what the true litmus test of being a decent parent actually is. There certainly exist a minimum expectation, provide for basic necessities, teach some level of making good choices. But we are dealing with free willed creatures here. And sometimes it is amazing how much a parent actually puts up with. Granted I believe most of us could probably be a little firmer.
Sometimes we forget that we are parents, not their best buddies. Our children need to be around others to develop social skills. If all they know is us, no matter how devoted loving etc. we might be, we are not doing them or ourselves any favors.
Yes most of the last 15 years have been dictated by the needs and activities of my two boys. In a few years, they'll be on their way into the real world. Hopefully I will have got them to a place where they can thrive. And at the same time appreciate my efforts as imperfect as they may be sometimes.
Blessings,
Ed
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