Reflections for 2/10/11

"I was too occupied with my job to think much about the next novel I myself might write, but it occurred to me that, if and when the time ever came, it would be the presence of God rather than his absence that I would write about, of death and dark and despair as not the last reality but only the next to the last."(F.Buechner "Listening to Your Life" p.40)

Most of us have "to do lists." Generally speaking they involve housework, repairs etc.  I guess there exists lists mentally and physically of things we'd really love to do. Maybe we should call these "love to do lists."  They sort of exist in the form of what the movie title from a few years ago, called "a bucket list."

One of the things that I constantly wrestle with in my mind is what I actually would love to do.  What outside of my passion for ministry and the day to day running of a church would I love to have the time to do?  When ideas come to my mind, they don't stay very long.  I have a hard time getting a grip on what "Ed" likes or wants to do.  Usually to busy doing what others want or need Ed to do.

I doubt I would write a book.  Maybe I could publish these reflections.  Somehow I doubt there's much of a market.  I know that if I were to write more than these reflections I'd be wishing for something like Buechner speaks of, talking more about presence and grace.  Unfortunately sin and and despair seems to sell better.  Any deep attempts at the other usually come off as theological fluff.

Getting back for a moment to the original question, what would a love to do list look like?  How could it parallel those task lists that we all have? Are there realistic can do right now things, followed by a column of sooner rather than later, and a third column of wishful thinking and dreaming.

Blessings,
Ed