Reflections for 1/14/11

"God speaks to us through our lives, we often too easily say. Something speaks anyway, spells out some godly or godforsaken meaning to us through the alphabet of our years, but often it takes many years and many further spellings out before we start to glimpse, or think we do, a little of what that meaning is. Even then we glimpse it only dimly, like the first trace of dawn on the rim of night, and even then it is a meaning that we cannot fix and be sure of once and for all because it always incarnate meaning and thus as alive and changing as we are ourselves alive and changing."(F. Buechner "Listening to Your Life" pp.12-13)

As I take a look at where my life is now, what I'm doiug, what things I enjoy, they are certainly not what I would have pictured 1/2 my life ago.  I think I wanted to be a lawyer when I was getting ready to head off to college. Pre-law major, a little Poli-Sci on the side.  It took two years of classes in that discipline to know that while there are aspects of that career idea I would have been good at, and spoke to me then, this wasn't it.  After working as a Tour Guide for my college, I was certain that Admission's work was what I wanted to do. I could sell the benefits of a small liberal arts college. I even had a 10 year plan in mind.  And off I went, 6 months later realizing that again, some of my strengths play well into that field, however, I really only wanted to work in the Admissions Office of a small liberal arts college in Iowa, that I had called home for four years.  So then came following a call to the priesthood in the Episcopal Church, something I have been doing for almost 17 years.  I still believe I'm doing the right thing. I'm where God called me to be. But I also know that what I value in ministry is not the same as it once was.  I also have no idea what I might want to do next in this profession. 

Really it still comes down to listening for the voice of God, spelling it out for you.  There are times when the word will still be the same, and that's fine.  The real question will be when a new word starts to reveal itself one letter at a time, how long will it take to recognize that word and call it out and move on.

Blessings,
Ed