Reflections for 1/18/11

"'You have a way with words,' my instructor, the critic R.P. Blackmur, told me, and although at the time it was like getting the Pulitzer Prize, it seems to me now that there was also a barb in his remark. I wrote poems with punch lines, had a way of making words ring out and dance a little, but there was little if any of my life's blood in my poems. I was writing for my teachers, for glory. I had not yet started trying to write either out of myself very much or for myself, partly, of course, because I had only a very dim sense of who that self was."(F. Buechner "Listening to Your Life" p. 16)

I laughed when I read that opening sentence from Buechner. It brought up from my memories being told something similar by a professor.  Dr. Smith, while trying to help me become a better writer of History papers said this to me: "Ed, when I read your writing I can hear you speak."  Ouch.  This may be why I shunned writing sermons and just talk.  I will say that writing these reflections for two years has given me a little more confidence. Yet, I bet if Dr. Smith were reading them he'd say the same thing again.

I've been told I'm a good communicator, preacher etc.  I hope that's true. I at least know that my congregation thinks so or I'd be out of a job.  I also realize that my style might not translate to any church.
What I hope I convey is what I believe, what I think, what I feel.  I do try to put a little of me or what's going on with me in my writing, preaching etc.  And maybe that's what makes it authentic for the hearer.  You don't get a whole lot or any at all of other people's thoughts.

I also know that it in speaking and writing, it has become easier to get a little more focus as to who I am, what I value and where I think I might be going.  I do believe that when we take literal or figurative notes about how we experience the world around us, and how those experiences shape us, we may still see through a mirror dimly.  Yet over time, the image gets a little less fuzzy, the more reflecting we do.

Blessings,
Ed