Reflections for 10/7/10

"It seems to me the people who have the best sense of self, who don't constanty need to have it affirmed or stroked, are people with self-respecting boundaries. They are always people who, in some way or another, know how to set limits to their lives and know, quite simply, ho to say no to themselves. They have an appropriate sense of boundaries and an instinctive sense of their own center."(R.Rohr "Radical Grace" p. 332)

Personal space. We all know about it. We may even talking about how we need to protect it. When someone gets to close you tell them you are in my space, especially if it is physical.

The tragic suicide of the Rutgers student last week is an example of what can happen when others boundaries are violated. What another person's inability to say no to something, in this case live streaming another person's intimate moments, is really the clearest example of someone who had no idea how to say no to themselves.

Unfortunately this lack of boundaries and being able to critically ask oneself, "how do I see this turning out well," is not just reserved for immature college freshman. Our society has embraced this cultic voyeurism, and at the same time feels repulsed by it. We really have become somewhat addicted to watching other people's lives.

Of course in many cases people's inability to set personal boundaries and willingly allow themselves to become public spectacles. Of course that was not the case at Rutgers, but is a by product of anything that can be displayed or said, should be attitude.

I do pray that perhaps the words of scripture might gain some hold again on our public psyche, "do unto others as you would have them do to you." Personally, I would not want every moment of my life to be on display for the world to see. Perhaps I need to just turn off the tv when these type of shows come on. Perhaps I need to say to people I love and care about, who lose sight of their own boundaries and fail to respect other people's boundaries, that is not the way to live.

While even one instance of a person taking their life as a result of someone else's callousness, is one too many. My hope will be that many will think twice before setting up that camera, and letting it role. On their selves and most especially on others.

Blessings,
Ed