"Jesus sheds his tears at the audible silence of God at those moments especially when a word from him would mean the difference between life and death, or at the deafness of men which prevents their hearing, him, the blindness of men which prevents even Jesus himself as a man from seeing him to the extent that at the moment of all moments when he needs him most he cries out his Eloi Eloi, which is a cry so dark that of the four evangelists, only tow of them have the stomach to record it as the last word he spoke while he still had a human mouth to speak with. Jesus wept, we all weep, because even when man is good, even when he is Jesus, God makes himself scarce for reasons that no theodicy has ever fathomed."(F. Buechner "Listening to Your Life" p.106)
"Do you have my back?" That seems to be a question I hear my teenagers saying about and to their friends. When needed the most will that person be there for you. When everything is going wrong. When we struggle with what life brings our way, people of faith seem to turn to God, and sometimes we sense God's presence, but sometimes we, no matter how strong or faith, feel very much alone.
Are we actually alone though, if we believe in God? I don't think so. I certainly have experienced disappointment when things have not turned out as I would have liked. I may even ask God, "what's up with that?" I don't tend to get into the answers of that wasn't God's will. Instead I keep searching for what the response or answer really was. Sometimes with quite a few tears.
I also know that the Bible tells me that it is alright to have those moments. The psalms are full of those laments. And Jesus' "Eloi, Eloi" is just the beginning of psalm 22. Giving me the example that even when things are at there worst, it is okay to scream out to God in frustration with him. The heartbreak would be for me not to cry out at all.
Blessings,
Ed
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